She wondered what rumors were already flying around, and then worked hard to put them out of her mind. There was no point in thinking about it. It was already the worst that it could possibly be.

  She made her way to her and Damian’s cabin and wondered what she would find. A man, covered in blood? That cold, killer look back in his eyes? That vicious sneer, those harsh hands which had somehow coaxed such incredible pleasure out of your body?

  She had no idea. She almost wished that he would be gone. Just a specter that had disappeared without a trace. An imaginary man she had used in her fantasies while she went out and found some nice, normal guy to marry.

  Assuming she could find someone willing to deal with the baby in her belly.

  She sighed. This was all absolutely shit. She had no idea what he would do if he found out. Should she even tell him? He didn’t seem the sort to tenderly lay his hand over the lowest part of her belly and whisper that he’d always take care of both of them. Hell, maybe he would kill her too. She didn’t know. She didn’t know him.

  She pushed the door open, completely split on whether or not she wanted to see Damian there. When she saw him sitting on the bed, though, his hands clasped together between his knees, she felt a surge of relief. She let the door swing shut behind her as she ran to him. He stood, clearly surprised, and only just managed to catch her as her weight slammed into him.

  “Hey,” he said, reaching up to stroke her hair as she pressed her face into her neck. She realized she was crying only when she felt the wetness on his skin. “Hey, Piper. Hey.”

  “Sorry,” she mumbled, not understanding where the words were coming from, or even why. “I didn’t mean to—I’m sorry.”

  He was rocking her gently back and forth. Had he been trained in this too, how to lure a woman into relaxation so that he could destroy her as needed? It seemed plausible. Why wouldn’t someone need to do that? Get close and then end her. But it seemed like more of a move that a woman would need to pull.

  She laughed a little to herself. Maybe if they got off this damn boat alive, he would end up training her to be an assassin too. She knew that what she’d witnessed wouldn’t ever be as painful as what Fiona had seen, but it wouldn’t ever leave her mind. She knew she would see those two corpses in her nightmares for the rest of her life. It was sickening and terrifying—and she’d always be afraid of it, as long as she lived.

  “You saw the room?”

  She nodded into his chest.

  He sighed. “I’m sorry. I wish you hadn’t seen that. It was... gruesome.”

  “You did all that?”

  He tensed just a little, and she realized that it could sound like the kind of question a person might ask when they were wearing a wire or looking for verification of something before selling that information. Something… that she wouldn’t ever do. Strange. She was fully aware that this wasn’t anything in her head or in her heart. Whatever happened next with him, she wouldn’t try to hurt him. It wasn’t… right. It just didn’t make sense.

  “Yes,” he said, and it took her a moment to remember the question.

  She felt something rush out of him—something that felt soft and sad. And hard, at the same time. Suddenly, he was leaning into her just as much as she was leaning into him. It felt… peaceful somehow. She didn’t understand it.

  “Yes,” he said again. “But that was the last time. He—Things were going on that I didn’t realize. And I’m done with that life. He made sure of it. So I’m getting off this boat in two days, and I’m walking away from my life.”

  The soft warmth that had been washing through her at his words suddenly went cold.

  “Oh,” she said.

  There was a long pause, and neither of them said anything.

  “Were you… did you have something else in mind?” His voice was light and curious.

  She thought of pulling back farther to see his face and then decided against it. What good would come of seeing how casually he was viewing this whole thing?

  “No.” She managed another little laugh and kept this one far away from hysteria. Which was good because she felt it looming there, ready to take her on and take her apart. Blurring into that space where laughing and crying were basically the same.

  How could she possibly explain to him what had happened? After all, it had happened to her, hadn’t it? Not really something that was his problem.

  “No,” she said again. She realized the heel of her hand was rubbing gently at her stomach and forced it to stop.

  His face fell, and she understood. It had to feel awful to feel like someone was rejecting you because of your past. God, she knew how that felt, really. She stepped into him, going up on her tiptoes to press her lips against his. It only took a minute for him to respond, and when he did, his whole body came into her at once.

  He crushed her against him, his arms wrapped tight around her, and she whimpered into his mouth. That evoked a snarl, and he was backing her up until her knees hit the bed, then pushing her down. She was wearing loose, relaxed pants and plain panties; they were gone in a moment.

  She pulled off her shirt and worked the hooks on her bra, then tossed it aside. She pulled at the hem of his shirt and shoved it up and out of the way so that she could run her hands over the planes of his stomach and the hard expanse of his shoulders.

  “Fuck me,” she said, putting every ounce of eagerness into her voice.

  He was already shucking his jeans and boxers, then heaved both of them farther up the bed. He stayed up on his knees and pulled her up to him, lining up his cock and then shoving in with one long thrust.

  It hurt, it stung—not that it had ever stopped hurting with him, especially not at first—but when Piper cried out, it was because she wanted more. His cock drove into her at such a vicious angle in that position, and he was so hard, so achingly hard. Part of her wondered—was he always like this after? Did he always need a woman to fuck, someone to remind him that he was alive? Because before, he had only been this swollen, this close to splitting her open when he’d used the belt on her or tied her down. She felt his balls slapping against her ass, tight and ready, and knew he was holding back for her.

  And then his thumb pressed down on her clit, moving in the tight up and down motion that she needed, that he’d learned over the past few weeks. She was crying out hard, clenching down on his cock at every thrust, her body soaring and soaring until the orgasm shattered over her. She clenched her teeth to keep from screaming, part of her brain knowing that a scream would bring people running for entirely the wrong reason.

  She heard his low sounds as he let himself get close to the edge, her pleasure sated, and then felt the heavy pulse of his orgasm moving through him as his fingers tightened into her hips hard enough to leave marks. They sank down onto the bed together, his cock moving in her slowly as the last of his orgasm rolled through him, and her cunt pulsed against him. Soft and steady.

  He shifted to the side so he wouldn’t land on top of her, but instead of rolling to his back or immediately standing, as he had so often, he curled into her, his arm coming around her and tugging her close. It was so sweet it made her heart go soft.

  Except he gripped her belly, and the soft movement there made her gag hard. She’d been so nauseated for days, and the pressure was more than she could stand. She knew she wasn’t going to be able to hold it back, and if she spoke, she would be sick all over the bed. The only solution was to press the back of her hand to her mouth, scoot away from him as fast as she could, and flat out run towards the bathroom.

  She barely made it; the first rush of vomit was coming before she could kneel over the toilet. She thanked whoever that the top of the seat was up, or she would have made a terrible mess. As it was, the water splashed everywhere, and the smell and the splash combined brought a fresh wave of sick over her.

  In the pause between, she managed to get to her knees and grip the sides of the toilet, keeping her balance as the world spun. His cum was leaking down her thighs, and she told herself the tears on her cheeks were just from the violence of her sickness.

  Please don’t let him put it together, she begged as hard as she could. Please. Please don’t let him.

  Another wave of nausea passed over her, and she was sick again. She had no idea how a person could hold this much; she’d been sick over and over the past few days, barely able to eat or drink or anything, and yet, here she was.

  He padded into the bathroom, and he moved loud enough so that she heard him. She didn’t look at him, not yet. She was worried that her stomach would clench again, but she was also worried that he would look at her and see the truth, know that he’d put a baby in her belly and that she didn’t know how to tell him about it.

  “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

  He brushed her hair back from her face and then wet a washcloth and handed it to her to wipe her mouth. His gaze was focused over her head, and his voice was flat, completely neutral.

  “Look, I—I get it. I’ll find somewhere else to be until the boat docks. And don’t worry—I won’t let anyone bother you because of this. I promise. And I’ll get you the money. You deserve to be paid for—for what you’ve done here.”

  He stood up and walked out of the room. Piper tried to think of something to say to him, but what was there possibly to say?

  Please don’t leave, Mr. Assassin. I’m pregnant with your lovechild, could you please stick around and—

  And what, raise a family? Settle down in some normal nine to five job and just ride a desk all day? Find a position with health insurance and paid sick leave?

  No. It’s best to let him go.

  Let Damian walk out of her life so she could... figure out what to do next.

  Piper put her head on her knees until she heard the door to the cabin close. Then she stood up, forced herself to get dressed in regular clothes, and went to bed. Damian had even straightened the sheets so that the evidence of their wild sex wasn’t obvious. She couldn’t think of anything else to do, and she was really and truly exhausted.

  She pulled off her dirty clothes, curled up under the covers, and let herself drift off to sleep.

  When the boat docked, three days later, Piper hadn’t seen Damian. She didn’t know where he was staying; she didn’t even know if he was still on the ship. She had seen plenty of Fiona; Piper had spent plenty of time in the other woman’s company, consoling her as the loss of her father and brand-new husband had taken root. No one at all seemed particularly surprised that she was more heartbroken over the loss of her father than the man she’d married.

  But it wasn’t Fiona that Piper wanted every time she was sick to her stomach, or too tired to move, or on the day she realized that none of her bras fit anymore. She still didn’t know what she was going to do. All of Damian’s things had been moved out of the cabin one day while she was out with Fiona. After that happened, she realized that she had no real way to contact him or try to talk to him about being pregnant with his child. She had tried asking a few of the ship crew, but none of them knew anything. Whether he’d paid them or they truly had no idea, there was no way to know.

  And without being able to tell him what was going on, all she could do was hope that she could make the right choice for herself. She should have stopped him before he left the cabin that night. She knew what he thought—that she had finally realized how much blood was on his hands and couldn’t stand to have him touch her anymore. She should have told him the truth about that, at least, even if she couldn’t bear to tell him about the rest. She shouldn’t have let him think that she despised him or was that nauseated by him.

  Before the boat docked, she said her goodbyes to Fiona. She made sure her new friend had her phone number and address, although Piper found herself doubting that she would ever really hear from Fiona Chamberlain again. Why would a newly married and widowed woman of society want anything to do with her?

  But Fiona had promised to have all of Piper’s things sent back to Piper’s apartment, so she didn’t have to worry about that. As Fiona said it, Piper suddenly found herself remembering those first moments in the back of the SUV, after Todd had grabbed her and tossed her in. The way he had watched her as he threatened her. She’d lived in these clothes for a month, and they made her skin itch and her stomach clench. Granted, that didn’t take much at all these days.

  “Don’t worry about it,” she’d told Fiona. “You can burn them for all I care.”

  As soon as they’d gotten close enough to the real world to have proper cell service, Piper had sent a single message from Fiona’s phone. As soon as she walked down the gangplank, arms wrapped around her, and she was wrapped up in her best friend’s embrace.

  “I got you,” Marissa said, her voice quiet. “We got this.”

  Piper squeezed back, the enormity of everything sinking in. She started to shake, and Marissa gently led her back to her car.

  “It’s okay,” Marissa said as they got into the car, and Piper started to cry. “You’re safe.”

  21

  Damian watched Piper disembark through a pair of high-powered binoculars. He was high up in the crow’s nest, the spot where he had first started to suspect there was someone else on board the ship who was going to make his life harder. He’d been in various places around the ship for the past few days. He had heard that Piper was trying to make inquiries, but no one was interested in bothering him.

  The upset caused by Chamberlain’s death had disrupted the ship’s routine more than enough; there was nothing for him to worry about at this point. The ship’s onboard security as well as Chamberlain’s personal guards were all convinced that the attack had been part of Alex’s attack on his newly-minted father-in-law. Since they were in international waters when the attack occurred, it was unlikely any further investigation would be necessary.

  And, even if it were, Damian would be gone fast enough that it didn’t matter.

  But as he watched Piper fall into the arms of a dark-skinned woman on the dock, he found himself wondering—what if he didn’t leave the country? What if he stayed here, got a regular job, and got in touch with Piper as a—well, a more honest man? What if he decided that he was going to clean up his act and his life and more?

  There had been something between them. He would never be able to deny that. But he also couldn’t forget the last night they’d been together. It had been incredible, something he’d never experienced. She was looking up at him with something that felt warm and soft—he didn’t dare to call it love—and then the look had twisted.

  She had scrambled out from under him, her hand pressed to her mouth, and she’d gotten so sick that he thought she might turn herself inside out. Like she had when they first came into the cabin, when she’d just been kidnapped and had no idea what was happening.

  It made sense she would remember that now.

  He pressed a button on his phone. It sent a chunk of money into an offshore account in her name. It was a pretty decent number, one with six zeroes. If she were careful, she would live the rest of her life and never work another day. Unless she wanted to. He didn’t figure her for someone who would just stop working; she had too much push in her. Even if she didn’t stick at some traditional job, she’d do charity work. Something like that. Her new friend Fiona would help her get started. If that was what she wanted to do.

  There would be no place in her life for someone like him. He knew the nightmares wouldn’t ever stop. He knew that the darkness that had driven him into this life would need to be dealt with. He wasn’t stupid. She didn’t need a haunted ghost in her space dragging her life down into nothing.

  But what if there was? What if there was a place in her life for him, and he could be something to her? To someone else? He swallowed hard, barely letting himself think of the thing that could come next... Of kids.

  It was a ridiculous thought. He had sent her the money, and he’d send her a way to find it. And then he would disappear.

  Maybe he would check in on her now and then. But mostly... he’d just be gone.

  That was his job, after all. Get in, get done, get gone.

  Even when it hurt.

  Epilogue

  Six months had passed since the cruise ship had finally docked, and Piper still felt a wash of apprehension whenever she walked into someplace even a little dark. It had taken her a month to walk down the street by herself. Marissa had stayed with her for weeks, helping her settle back into real life—and helping her find a therapist who could help her manage the stress of what had happened.

  She’d had to edit a lot to talk about it without getting the police involved. Todd had left her alone, and Damian had promised her that would continue. The email that gave her instructions on how to access the account and the money he’d given her had also told her that there would be no way for him to contact her.

  And her back ached, and her feet hurt, and she was absolutely exhausted all the time. She had never been so glad that her job involved mostly consulting from home, Skype calls, and webpage design. At least she could be exhausted and sore in her pajamas.

  She didn’t regret for a second the decision to have Damian’s baby. Even if he would never know that it was happening. It felt like the right choice. That time on the cruise ship—it seemed like another lifetime. A movie that she remembered well. But there was more to it.

  Just thinking of the way that he had tossed her around and made her soaking wet… She’d always heard that some women got higher libidos during pregnancy, but she’d never expected it to be like this. She’d burned out two vibrators thinking about the way he’d treated her. The sharp slaps on her ass, the vicious fucks, and the way he’d taken such sweet care of her afterward…

  Marissa had finally dragged her out of the house for lunch, and as Piper walked back into her apartment, she felt that same rush of apprehension. She kept meaning to get someone to switch her apartment over to smart lighting so that she could turn the lights on before walking in, but she hadn’t gotten to it yet.