She’d thought Eddie made her feel alive, but she realized that wasn’t the truth. She’d thought she felt more alive with Eddie, but it wasn’t the life she wanted rather what he wanted.

  With Duke, he made her more awake in her own life. In her own skin.

  He encouraged her rather than told her what to do. He let her make her own decisions rather than persuade her.

  She felt she had a voice and her voice was being heard.

  That was what she wanted out of her life and she just was looking for it the wrong way before.

  He’d texted her on Friday and asked if she wanted to have brunch at his house on Sunday. She wasn’t going in until noon and didn’t have to make desserts either because Duke told her to double up on Saturday so she could have some time on Sunday to see him.

  She’d thought that was the best suggestion ever and was thrilled he was willing to make it happen. More so since she hadn’t seen him in days with him working at Duke’s and her pulling a double at Southside on Saturday. She worked a long shift on Friday too.

  She didn’t have a problem with it and was loving the fact she was making so much money and had very few bills to go with it.

  When she pulled into his driveway the garage door opened and she parked and got out to go in that way.

  “Hi,” she said when he was standing there holding the door for her.

  “Hey,” he said. He wasn’t smiling and she wasn’t sure why.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yes. Is it for you?”

  She frowned. “Yes. Why do you ask? I was thrilled you were willing to make the time for us to see each other.”

  “I figured you’d want to talk to me,” he said.

  This was odd. “I do like talking to you. But I thought maybe it had to do with something more.”

  He walked toward the kitchen and she followed along. It seemed he was at peace there more than anywhere else and it made complete sense.

  She was finding she felt that way in the kitchen too.

  “Have you spoken to your father lately?” he asked.

  “Actually, no,” she said. “Why?”

  “Really?” he asked. He was pulling ingredients out and she let him. He knew she had no food allergies and wasn’t fussy with food. She’d eat anything he put down in front of her at that point and she’d told him that.

  “Yes,” she said. “Again, why?”

  Duke let out a sigh. “Figures. He and I met on Friday morning at Duke’s.”

  “Oh,” she said. “He wouldn’t tell me that. Not if it has to do with business.”

  “It wasn’t business,” he said.

  She felt her face start to fill with heat. “Did he go there to talk about me? Us?”

  “Yes. He said he knew we went on a date.”

  “I don’t run back and tell my parents everything I do in my life. Matter of fact, I tell them very little or haven’t in years. But living so close now it’s hard to do anything without them seeing me. They did. They saw me come home the night of our date and I had a dress on. My mother was excited I’d gone out.”

  It probably made her sound like a complete loser to him that her parents were so thrilled that she went on a date or maybe had a friend.

  “Your father told me that. He also told me a few more things and I’ve got to wonder why you didn’t.”

  She wasn’t sure where this was going and didn’t think she was going to like it either. “About what?”

  “Eddie,” he said.

  After the heat was in her face, she was pretty sure it drained white now. “He had no right to bring my ex up. What did he tell you about him?”

  “That he’s not an ex, as I thought. That he passed away and that you took care of him and helped with expenses. You came home a few months after because of the debt.”

  There was the heat again to her face. She just hoped she didn’t pass out with the constant fluctuations. “I don’t want you to think I’m a liar. I’m not. But my parents don’t know the whole story. So, wipe out what my father said to you.”

  “Why did you lie to your parents?” he asked. “And did Eddie not die?”

  Hadley let out a sigh. “He did die. I didn’t lie as much as omit the truth. I’m thirty years old and can take care of myself. I’m embarrassed over everything that happened and what I let myself get pulled into. I feel like a sucker, and I’ve got no one to blame but myself.”

  “I’m confused,” he said.

  “I’ll start at the top and explain it all as best as I can. You’ve said before I’ve got no backbone.”

  “No. I believe I said you should stand up for yourself. Not that you don’t have a backbone.”

  “What’s the difference?” she asked.

  “One is an insult, the other is a suggestion,” he said.

  She didn’t think so but wasn’t going to argue with him.

  “If you say so,” she said. “A coworker set me up with Eddie. I’m not one that likes being set up, but it was a cousin of hers and Deb and I got along well at work. I mean not like we went out and partied or anything, but we did talk a lot.”

  “Do you normally get set up with people?”

  “No. I was talked into it.”

  More like she couldn’t say no. She’d said no a few times, but it never ended and just to get it to stop she agreed.

  “You mean she pressured you,” he said.

  “Yes. But she was right, and Eddie was a nice guy. We got along well even though we were total opposites. We went on a few dates and the next thing I know we are going pretty strong and he’s talking me into doing things I’ve never done before. Exciting things I always was scared of or just never thought I’d like. We double dated with Deb and her boyfriend too. I think deep down she wanted that to happen.”

  “What happened to Eddie?” he asked.

  “He went rock climbing with his friends. Something he wanted me to do with him, but I’m a little afraid of heights. I mean he got me to do things up high like rollercoasters and stuff, but hanging off of rocks…yeah. I couldn’t do it.”

  “It’s one thing to be pushed out of your comfort zone, it’s another to be pressured if you’re uneasy or scared.”

  “I said that more than once. But he had a way about him to always charm me into trying something. But this time I said no and he went with some of his friends. He was drinking and goofing off.”

  “Not really smart,” he said.

  “He wasn’t often. I guess you could say he always had to be the life of the party. He had to have all eyes on him at all times. He fell. He hit his head on a rock had a serious concussion, had a lot of cuts and broken bones. His leg was broken, he dislocated his shoulder, he fractured a few ribs. It’s hard to get around on crutches when your arm is in a sling too.”

  She remembered trying to help him in those first few weeks. She’d taken time off of work when he was released from the hospital. He was lucky enough to have a wheelchair he could move around in and then a scooter to help.

  But there were things he couldn’t do. Laundry, clean, cook at times.

  “So you cared for him,” he said.

  “I did. More than his family, but they did help out when they could. He wasn’t working. Or he was trying to do some work from home, but it wasn’t until a few months after. Even after his leg, shoulder and ribs were healed, he was still having headaches from the concussion. Then he had to go to rehab for another month.”

  “So he was out of work a long time.”

  “Almost four months,” she said.

  “You got close during that time, I’m assuming,” he said. He started to make crepes and there was some kind of chocolate mixture in a bowl. She sure the heck wanted chocolate right now. Fruit was in a bowl too and she was trying not to let drool come out of her mouth.

  Not just from what he was making or the aroma in the kitchen, but the hot guy in shorts and a T-shirt with his hair in a messy bun on his head. She didn’t even laugh when she saw that now. She knew he’d done it right before she got there.

  “We did. He was so appreciative of everything I was doing for him. He thanked me all the time. He said he didn’t know what he’d do without me.”

  “He should have been thanking you,” he said. “I should keep my mouth shut, but I know you’re leading up to more since he was an ex.”

  “It’s fine,” she said. “There is a lot more. He finally got better and went back to work. And with that came partying again, drinking. He liked to smoke pot. He said it calmed him and helped him sleep.”

  “To each their own,” he said. “I’d rather have a clear head to get through life.”

  “Me too,” she said. “Just so you know, I’ve never done drugs, but I was trying to be accepting of it because so many are. He really didn’t do it around me, just talked about doing it.”

  She didn’t think that should have made a difference, but it felt like the thing to say.

  “What else happened?” he asked.

  “He went back to work and within a month or so I started to suspect he might be cheating on me.”

  “What was happening?”

  “He was still going out with his friends. Or those friends were always at his house. Many did help him. There were times I went over to cook for him and his friends would all be there sitting around and drinking. I’d make food and then leave. With those men, women were coming too.”

  Looking back, she felt like she’d been a servant more than anything.

  “And one of those women ended up with Eddie?” he asked.

  “I found that out after he died. That he’d been hooking up with her while I was at work. Like she was giving her own comfort to him.”

  She tried not to think of that happening. When she was going there to care for him and he was screwing someone else. Or someone else was caring for him in a way that Eddie wasn’t doing for her during that time.

  That should have been another clue, but he’d been hurt and she wasn’t going to ask or assume he could or would want sex in the beginning.

  “There was more than one?” he asked.

  “Yes. Someone he worked with. Guess he was eating up all the attention over surviving his fall. He felt like he got a second chance at life and was just going right back to doing everything he’d been doing before.”

  “How did he die?” he asked.

  “At a party. He drank more than he should have, which he did a lot, but he was taking prescription pain meds with it. I remember I thought it was odd he was still taking them, but he acted like he was in pain. Someone said he had Adderall in his system too and I’m not sure why. I’d never know him to do more than pot, but I didn’t know he was cheating on me either. I never told my parents about that. I just said it was sudden and fibbed that they didn’t find the cause. I didn’t want them to worry that I was mixed up in that kind of stuff. I’m not. I’m really not.”

  “I believe you,” he said.

  She nodded her head. “Before he died,” she said, “I’d found out about him cheating on me with the coworker. I broke up with him. I asked him for money back and he laughed at me. Said he didn’t owe me anything. It was my decision to go in debt to help him.”

  “Sounds like he asked you to help him with things?” he asked, slipping a finished crepe in front of her. It was filled with whatever chocolate mixture he’d made, loaded with fresh fruit and topped with whipped cream.

  “He did. I said yes and didn’t need to.”

  “He had no family to help financially?”

  “No. He asked and they said they didn’t have it. I couldn’t let his car be taken or him be evicted. I gave him some money for bills one month. I had savings. I was already buying a lot of the food. We didn’t live together, but I was there a lot. But one month turned to two and then three. He got better and stronger and things with us seemed to be going well. I just didn’t realize he would go back to his old ways and then even worse. Then when I asked him for the money, he blew up. He was just a whole different person than he’d been to me before. The charming side was gone. He’d call me names. I know he trashed me to his family. I was stunned and felt so betrayed.”

  She was eating while she talked. Eating fast because this was just so yummy and comforting. She needed it and was glad Duke had made it for her.

  She wanted to pick her plate up and lick the last bit of chocolate that oozed out from it. She used her finger instead.

  Duke moved the bowl over to her with the spoon in it. “Want another or just some of this?”

  She laughed. “This is good.”

  Hadley picked up the spoon, filled it, and put it in her mouth. It had to be some kind of hazelnut dark chocolate mousse thing that she wanted to bathe in right now.

  “If what your father told me had been true I thought maybe this would go down well. The question is why your parents don’t know the truth. Back to Eddie. You loved him?”

  “I thought I did,” she said. “I loved how he made me feel for the first few months and then he just crushed it all on me. I had so much anger when we broke up.”

  “Asshole,” he said. “Not to speak ill of the dead and all.”

  “I get it. I felt the same. On top of that, I’d seen Eddie’s sister, Cheryl, a month or so after he’d died and the things she’d said to me… I don’t think Eddie told her that he cheated because all she said was that I broke up with him now that he was better and kept asking him for money. Neither of which was a lie.”

  “Just twisted around,” he said. “And, a time when you should have spoken up.”

  “It didn’t matter,” she said. “I can’t change how people think or feel about me. I can only change my reaction to it.”

  “It doesn’t sound to me as if you did though,” he said, lifting an eye at her.

  “No. But I needed money and had to figure out how to get out of the mess I was in. And here I am.”

  “Standing strong and doing it your way,” he said. “Which means you should tell your parents the truth.”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know that it matters, but I should. When it was all said and done, my parents were calling me and wanting to go to the services. I didn’t even go. His family didn’t tell me when or where they were. They hated me for the things that Eddie had said about me to them. It was closed anyway. I was the jerk that broke up with him in their eyes. No one knew what happened.”

  “And it wouldn’t make a difference if they did know. But why didn’t you tell your parents?”

  “Again, nothing would have changed. It was over at that point. I was already looking for another job, but it wasn’t panning out as I thought. I just needed to get away. I thought if I came back here I could do exactly what I’m doing. Well, just working for my parents. They didn’t tell me what they were doing either. Not until I’d made the decision to come home.”

  “Shit,” he said. “Would you have stayed if you knew they were selling?”

  “Probably,” she said, pushing the bowl aside. She’d eaten enough of it now. She stood up with her plate to rinse it off and put it in the dishwasher.

  “You take a bullet for people all the time, don’t you?” he asked. He had her against the counter, his hands on her waist.

  “I never thought of it that way before, but I suppose so,” she said. She just didn’t like conflict and yet she was the one that always got the raw end of the stick poked into her eye after it’d been lit on fire.

  “You need to change that about yourself,” he said.

  “I’m trying. My parents know all about the debt and that I was left with it. They don’t know that Eddie cheated on me. Or that I broke up with Eddie a month before he died. My father wondered why I didn’t get any money for the debt and I said it never occurred to me. My guess is his parents were the beneficiaries of his policies just like mine are of mine. It’s all in the past now. I’d like to keep it there.”

  “You should let your parents know,” he said. “Your father came here because he feels you’re fragile and he needs to look out for you.”

  “And that is the reason they don’t need to know. He’ll feel horrible that he didn’t know what was going on before. He’ll blame himself. They want to cover the debt and I won’t let them. I can manage it. Living for free and working is more than enough.”

  “You’re a pretty special person,” he said, his mouth lowering to hers.

  “Thanks. Not many think that.”

  “Then they are idiots,” he said.

  “Do you believe me? Looking back now I can see where you were probably mad and annoyed that I was lying to you, but I wasn’t. I guess I was really lying to my parents, but I don’t think of it that way either.”

  “I do believe you. I don’t think you’ve got it in you to be mean to anyone.”

  She shrugged. “I’m not sure about that. Everyone can be mean if pushed enough. But I’m glad you believe me and I hope you believe me when I tell you I want you to take me to your bed now.”

  18

  Fall Where They May

  Duke was trying to process everything that Hadley had just told him about her ex.

  There was part of him that knew he would have hunted the bastard down and had more than a few words with him if he was still alive.

  What mattered to him was the fact that Hadley told him what she had and when it was all done, she asked him to take her to his bed.

  Which of course he had no thought in his mind would happen today.

  “Are you sure?” he asked.

  “Yes. I’m more sure of this than any other decision I’ve made in my life in the past ten years. You told me to stand my ground or stand up for myself and that is what I’m doing.”

  He laughed and kissed her on the lips quickly. “It’s not quite the same thing.”

  “It actually is,” she said. “I never make the first move toward anyone. I don’t like conflict. I just try to stay back and let things happen around me or fall where they may.”

  He’d figured that out about her early on. “That’s not a bad thing.”