“Yeah,” she said. “You and what we just did. Maybe we can do a bit more before I’ve got to get Josie.”

  He lifted his eyebrows at her. He wasn’t so sure what she meant by that. “You might need to explain that more.”

  “Kissing,” she said, her face flushing adorably. “The other has to wait. First, for more time. Second, because well, I don’t jump that fast.”

  “Understood,” he said, yanking her forward quicker than he’d ever done another woman before. “Take your time, but until then, I’ll take some more of this.”

  16

  Giving Her Outlets

  “How did it go?” Laine asked her when she walked into her studio to get Josie shortly after Carter left her house.

  It was the first time in a year she’d wished she could have put all the responsibility in her life aside and focus on what she was feeling.

  But she couldn’t do that and wasn’t sure she’d be able to ever again. At least it might feel that way.

  She looked over at Josie who was still painting and not paying too much attention. She smiled, gave a big thumbs up and a little shoulder wiggle. “Great.”

  “I need details,” Laine said.

  “Later,” she whispered.

  “Avery,” Josie said, “come look at my painting. It’s not done, but I wanted to finish this part before I come back next week.”

  Josie was working on a large canvas. Much bigger than anything at her house. She’d have to find out what supplies she should get for Josie.

  “That’s beautiful,” she said. “What’s it going to be?”

  “The clinic,” Josie said. “Right now I’ve got the sky and the grounds. I have to build it in layers, Laine said.”

  The more she looked at it she could see the grass and parking lot, some trees in the back and the land to the side. Land that could have a kennel on it at some point too. For now there was an older garage she’d love to be able to use for an operating and recovery room, maybe storage. Anything. But it wasn’t in good enough shape and couldn’t be locked up well either. Things for the future if she decided to stay in that location.

  “That looks great,” she said.

  “Josie,” Laine said. “Why don’t you go clean your brushes and pick up and I’ll keep Avery company.”

  Josie grabbed her brushes and went to a back room where the sinks were, Avery looking at her friend. “I’ll text you when Josie is settled into bed. If you’re available we can talk.”

  “I’ll make myself available,” Laine said.

  “Until then, tell me how Josie is doing.”

  Laine reached her hand out. “You can see for yourself. She’s shining. I don’t do much more than explain a few things right now. She needs to do what feels right for her. I want her to show me what she has. The first few lessons we did quick things she could get done in the two hours. This time I asked her what she wanted to do for a big painting and she said the clinic.”

  “Did you ask her why?” she asked.

  “No. I figured that was a conversation you two could have. But I explained she should layer the colors and the portions of the painting. She did the background first, the trees and the sky. Then the front of the property that she was finishing when you came in.”

  “She didn’t bring her iPad. She doesn’t have a picture of it,” she said.

  “She’s doing it from her mind. That’s better,” Laine said. “It’s about feelings and emotions right now. Just remember one thing. Through all your doubts and worries, you are giving her outlets to express herself. You’re doing everything right.”

  Avery’s eyes filled with some tears. “It doesn’t always feel that way.”

  Especially with the guilt of spending some time with a man tonight. One she hadn’t been able to get out of her mind since she first met him over a month ago.

  His dark hair was slightly messy as if he barely combed it more than with his fingers in the morning. Maybe even struggled to find time to get it cut.

  His eyes were equally dark, but they not only looked at you but through you. Like he was trying to read what was in her mind yet struggled to make it out.

  That was fine with her because she wasn’t so sure she wanted him to know all her thoughts when she wasn’t sure of them herself.

  Then there were his hands that were rough and calloused in some spots, but felt wonderful on her body.

  As if he could take care of anything that needed to be done without effort or frustration.

  She didn’t even mind he was on the slow side because she figured she needed to slow down and think things through too.

  “I’m ready to go,” Josie said, running back into the room. “I put the brushes away like you showed me, Laine.”

  “I’m sure you did,” Laine said. “Next week we’ll work on the next layer of your painting.”

  “Do you need some more canvases for home?” Avery asked Josie. She tried not to go into her art room more than necessary, as it was Josie’s space to be herself.

  On Colleen’s anniversary they both spent some time in there and talked to her late best friend. Then Josie had been painting the one wall with her mural of the field of flowers that Colleen loved. Every time she thought it was done, Josie said she had to add more to it.

  It amazed her a little girl had done that painting when at eight she was coloring with crayons, drawing rainbows and bubbly animals.

  Not Josie.

  Josie was mature well beyond her years and now Avery was wondering if she should be focusing on letting her be a child. She’d already been through so much more than any child should have at her age.

  “I could always use canvases,” Josie said. “And if I had extra then when I had friends over they could paint too.”

  She grinned and that comment made her feel better. “Laine, why don’t you show me what to get for Josie? She can have a little shopping spree for now.”

  “Yay,” Josie said, hopping around the shop.

  Once they were loaded up with more paint and canvas and a website for her to get brushes that Josie used here, they headed for home.

  “Why don’t you put these where you want them,” she said once she carried everything upstairs with Josie. “I’m going to let Betty out and then you need to take a shower and get ready to settle in for bed.”

  It was close to eight at this point. With the start of school, Josie’s lesson started at five thirty so they could be home in time to get Josie in bed close to eight, which was when she always went. But tonight, it’d be a little later. Good thing Josie didn’t wash her hair daily and they took care of that yesterday.

  Even feeding Josie on these nights wasn’t easy. She felt bad, but since the clinic closed at five, she was having Josie eat there in her office. Something leftover or frozen that could go in the microwave. Not the best, but she supposed it was better than fast food. Then she’d drive Josie right to the lessons without going home first.

  Josie came downstairs ten minutes later in her pajamas, her hair combed and a rubber band in her hand. “Can you put a braid in my hair?”

  “Sure,” she said.

  “It got a little wet in the shower,” Josie said.

  “That’s okay. Maybe you’ll have some nice waves in it in the morning,” she said.

  “My mom used to do that to her hair. I remember.”

  “I do too,” she said softly. She decided to take Laine’s advice. “How come you chose to paint the clinic?”

  “Because it feels like home to me.”

  That might be the best answer she could have hoped to hear. “Really?”

  “Yes,” Josie said. “It’s so much better than daycare. I’m not alone, yet I don’t have to be around people if I don’t want to either.”

  “I know that feeling,” she said. “I don’t want you to ever feel alone.”

  “I like playing with other kids, but they don’t always understand or like the things I do. This lets me draw on my own until it’s time to go home. And I get to play or visit with other dogs. Dopey and Doc are the best though. When do I get to see them again?”

  Avery should have figured this would come up. “I’m not sure,” she said. It wasn’t a lie, but she wasn’t going to share her night with Josie either.

  “Can I watch TV in bed tonight?” Josie asked.

  “For a few minutes,” she said. “We’ll put the timer on.”

  Once Josie was tucked in, Avery went back downstairs and found something on TV to kill time.

  She wanted to talk to Laine but didn’t want Josie to hear. It was too much to text anyway, so she’d wait it out.

  After twenty minutes, she went upstairs to check on Josie and saw her sound asleep. The TV would shut off in ten minutes so she’d let it go for now.

  She texted Laine to see if she was around to talk and then went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. It felt like there was never any time to sit and relax anymore.

  Laine called her rather than texting back. “Fill me in,” Laine said.

  She laughed and stayed in the kitchen at the back of the house and away from Josie. Not that she thought Josie could hear her upstairs, but she was going to talk quietly anyway.

  “We went to dinner and then came back here for thirty minutes.”

  “Did you kiss?” Laine asked. “I know you wouldn’t have done much more but eating together is boring.”

  She felt the heat fill her body as she remembered Carter pulling her close to his body.

  “Yes,” she said. “As much of it as we could before I had to leave.”

  “More than on your lips?” Laine asked, giggling.

  “No,” she said. Though there was part of her that wouldn’t have minded Carter’s mouth on another part of her body.

  “But you wanted to,” Laine said.

  Best to not agree to that. “We are taking it slow. It’s not as if I’ve got much free time and I don’t know that Josie needs to know right yet.”

  “How was Josie when you were dating Kurt?” Laine asked.

  She sighed. She hadn’t talked to anyone about this other than her mother and even then not much. She didn’t want to burden her mother when she had enough on her plate caring for her grandmother.

  “They didn’t see much of each other. You know why Kurt left.”

  “Asshole,” Laine said. “It’s a good thing you didn’t waste any more time with him.”

  “That’s right. So knowing what you do, it’s not surprising he didn’t spend much time around Josie. I didn’t push it either because I had to put Josie first. We were both grieving and I could barely get out of my own way.”

  “I’m going to assume Kurt wasn’t there for you?” Laine asked.

  “No. Not like I would have liked or needed,” she said. Just like her boyfriend couldn’t even fully take care of the flat tire she’d had, he sure the hell couldn’t take care of her in her time of need.

  Like her father couldn’t do for her mother. Or more like her father didn’t do anything for her mother at all during the marriage.

  “The good news is Carter knows about Josie. No reason to explain that.”

  “He does know. I was clear Josie has to come first,” she said. “He didn’t seem to have any issues with that. He’s very understanding.”

  “Slow too,” Laine said, laughing. “Everything about him is slow.”

  Not when he worked though. She’d seen him through the glass working on her vehicle and he was moving fast and with a purpose. Just like he was the first night they were in the clinic.

  “Yes and no,” she said. “But since I’m trying to maintain that speed too, it works.”

  “When is the next date?” Laine asked. “I can take Josie for you if you want.”

  “I appreciate that, but not right yet. I haven’t set anything up with Carter. The next time I’ve got some free time is Monday night. Less than tonight. Barely enough to get dinner unless we meet out.”

  “No reason why you can’t,” Laine said. “Though the more you do that, the more likely someone is going to see you out.”

  “There were some that recognized me for sure. Probably more him. But it’s fine. I don’t care so much about it.”

  “That’s good to know,” Laine said. “Especially on this island.”

  She’d have to take her friend’s word for that.

  17

  For The Best

  Avery brought Josie to Seth Young’s house on Saturday morning to meet Adele’s parents. The little girls were going to have a play date on Sunday, but the parents wanted to meet first.

  Josie had come home Friday saying Adele wanted her over and handed her a piece of paper with Ava Mills-Young’s number to call and chat.

  They’d had a nice quick conversation last night before Ava had to go due to being on call. Since she knew Ava was pregnant and probably wouldn’t mind some rest, when Ava offered it up for the little girls to meet at Adele’s house on Saturday, Avery agreed.

  Josie was all but hopping out of the car before it was even shut off, but she didn’t scold the young girl, knowing how excited she was.

  “Slow down,” she said to Josie as she ran up the front porch. “And wait for me.”

  “I’m sorry,” Josie said. “I’m so excited.”

  “I see that,” she said. “And I’m happy for you.”

  Avery rang the bell, but it was opened before she could even pull her finger away.

  “Josie!” She assumed it was Adele that opened the door. The two girls took off running upstairs before she could say or do anything.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said when Ava moved in front of her looking heavily pregnant but not all that uncomfortable. Considering she was an OBGYN, she knew what she was doing, but all Avery could think was that she’d want to sit down and not get back up.

  “Don’t be,” Ava said. “And it’s nice to meet you. I’m Ava, as I’m sure you can figure out.”

  “Avery Keegan,” she said.

  “Two doctors delivering different forms of newborns,” a man said, coming into the room. “I’m Seth, Adele’s father. We’ve heard nothing but great things about Josie for weeks.”

  “We’ve heard nothing but Josie’s name for weeks,” Ava said, smiling. “I’m so thrilled Adele has found someone she connected with.”

  “Not as happy as I am that Josie did. It hasn’t been an easy year with the move and all. I did worry that Josie might struggle, but she’s such an open and friendly child.”

  “Adele said that Josie is like her. That she knew she’d be her best friend because they both lost their mothers.” Ava said. “And I’m sorry about the loss of your friend.”

  “Thank you,” she said. “We are getting there. I suppose I should be thrilled that Josie is so adaptable. She’s not afraid to say what has happened.”

  “Neither was Adele,” Seth said.

  “Ask me anything you want,” Avery said. “I know it’s hard to let your child be at someone’s house. We’ve got a little white poodle, but that is the only dog. I’m not sure if Adele has any food or animal allergies.”

  “No allergies,” Seth said. “And we know about Betty. We’ve been hearing about it nonstop also. Adele has wanted a puppy or kitten for a long time.”

  “They are a lot of work,” she said.

  “And not having a vet on the island has made it harder,” Seth said. “That has been my excuse for the moment.”

  “You do have a new baby coming soon,” she said, grinning.

  “Which we hope will keep Adele occupied. She’s excited to be a big sister and hold her little brother,” Ava said.

  “I know you don’t know much about me. I’ve been told a bit about the two of you,” Avery said. “Are the kids upstairs and out of earshot?”

  “Yes,” Seth said, frowning. “They can’t hear us down here.”

  They were in a formal living room where they’d moved and sat down. She could tell Ava needed to get off her feet.

  “I’ve been on a few dates with Carter Bond. I don’t want you to think that I do that. Move somewhere and start dating or anything. It kind of started by accident, but I don’t want Josie to know.” She lowered her voice. “She has a crush on him. Or maybe on his dogs and him with the dogs. Not sure and I’m rambling. But he knows Josie and Adele are friends. He vouched for you guys. Said it was okay to let you know about him or us.”

  She never felt so unsure about things in her life as she did right now.

  The minute it was out of her mouth that she’d had a few dates with Carter she started to wonder if she’d be judged for that.

  For moving to this island and then looked at as hooking up with someone.

  Ava was grinning at her though.

  “I’m not sure I’ve known of anyone Carter has dated personally,” she said. “He’s pretty quiet about his life.”

  Now she didn’t know what to think at all.

  “I’m glad to know that you wanted to know about us,” Seth said. “Aside from everything Adele has told us about Josie and what Josie has said about you, knowing that you are seeing someone in the family means a lot too. You can never be careful enough.”

  “I’m learning all these things,” she said. “Back in Danbury, I knew a lot of Josie’s friends in her life. I’ve been in Josie’s life from the minute she was born. She’s never met her father, in case you’re wondering.”

  “It’s fine,” Seth said. “Adele has said that. Or that Josie was only with her mother and then you. We assumed the rest. That he wasn’t in the picture.”

  “No,” she said. “It’s been the two of them, Colleen and Josie. And now the two of us.”

  “Three with the dog,” Seth said.

  “Or six if you count Carter and his dogs,” Ava said, smiling.

  She wouldn’t comment on that though it did cause Seth to laugh. She wouldn’t ask what that was about either.

  “He was over for dinner one night. More like Josie invited him, as she wanted Dopey and Doc to play with Betty.”

  Seth and Ava burst out laughing. “Who does that remind you of?” Seth asked his wife.