“Now you’re pulling my paw, aren’t you, Max?”

  “Maybe just a little,” I confessed.

  But as we watched our humans hug and be happy, I thought that maybe, just maybe, cat litter could do all that and more. After all, cats were created to make the world a better place. So why wouldn’t our litter serve the same purpose?

  It certainly made me happy every time I felt that pleasant texture under my paws when I did my business. And I know that my friends all felt the same way. But since we’d had a very stressful couple of days, finally my eyes drooped closed, and moments later I was asleep... almost.

  “Max?”

  “Mh?”

  “Can cat litter really cure cancer?”

  “I wouldn’t be surprised if it did.”

  “So... do you have to ingest it?”

  “Something like that.” But then, since I was fairly sure that Dooley would go ahead and do exactly that, I quickly amended my statement. “Please don’t eat cat litter, Dooley.”

  “I won’t, Max,” he said. “This time I was pulling your paw.”

  “Oh, good. Cause if you did swallow it, things would probably get blocked... down there.”

  “Which would be a good thing, since you wouldn’t need to go to the litter box anymore. Which would save our humans money. And cure all of our diseases.”

  I eyed him closely but could see no signs of deception. “Dooley, please don’t—”

  “I’m just kidding, Max! I’m trying to become as good a liar as you. Is it working, do you think?”

  “It’s working,” I admitted.

  “I’ll feed some cat litter to Grace. That way, she can get rid of her diapers. And I’ll feed some of it to Gran, as she’s always complaining of creaky knees. And to Uncle Alec, to fill up his stomach so he can keep dieting. And to—”

  Oh, dear. Looked like I had created a litter monster!

  THE END

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  EXCERPT FROM PURRFECT GHOST (MAX 71)

  Chapter One

  Holly Mitchell checked the big chest of toys in the living room for a sign of her daughter’s security blanket. Ruby, who was four, had been crying up a storm all day, wondering where her precious rabbit-shaped blankie could be. She had probably dropped it somewhere, or possibly their teacup Chihuahua Babette had taken the blanket and buried it out in the backyard. But wherever it was, she better find it. Ruby’s big brother Sylvester had been trying to comfort his little sister, but to no avail. Without Mr. Longears she simply would not be comforted.

  “Here, give her this,” said Holly’s mom, and surreptitiously handed Holly a blankie that looked almost indistinguishable from the original. “I got it from the same store,” she added under her breath. The four of them had gone to the mall that evening, and had just now arrived home.

  “I guess it’s worth a shot,” Holly said, and proceeded to make a big display of ‘discovering’ Mr. Longears under one of the couch cushions. “Ooh, look who I found!” she cried.

  Ruby’s face lit up like a Christmas tree, but as she grabbed for her precious toy, she said, “He smells funny!”

  “That’s because I washed him,” Holly explained. “Even rabbits need a bath sometimes.”

  Ruby gazed up at her with those big eyes of hers, then smiled a gummy smile and proceeded to bury her face into her blankie. “I missed you, Mr. Longears!” she declared solemnly. “Don’t run away again!”

  “Mission accomplished,” Holly told her mom with satisfaction. The mystery of the missing blankie hadn’t been solved, but at least Ruby was happy again, and that was all that mattered.

  It wasn’t always easy to raise two kids on her own, but fortunately she got a lot of help from her mom and dad. After her husband Eric had died in a freak accident four years ago, she suddenly found herself a widow, and the adjustment, coming on top of the grief of Eric’s death, had been painful. But somehow they had all managed to find a new normal and adjust as well as they could. Even though the kids still asked about their daddy from time to time, especially Sylvester, who had been four at the time, they didn’t seem to have been adversely affected too much. They both did well in school, and Holly tried to make their home as warm and cozy and happy as she could.

  “I don’t think you should go,” her mom now said.

  “Why? Can’t you babysit them?” she asked.

  “No, it’s not that. It’s just that…” Mom made an ineffectual gesture with her hand. “I don’t know. Maybe this is just me being silly, but I’ve just got a bad feeling about this, you know. Especially since…” She glanced over to where the kids were sitting on the couch, both admiring Mr. Longears.

  “It’s not going to happen again, Mom,” Holly assured her. “Freak accidents are exactly that: freakish in their rarity. It’s not going to happen again,” she repeated, more to herself than to her mom. It was true that the same thought had entered her mind when her boss had selected her to give a sales presentation to their Boston team. Eric, too, had been on his way to an important presentation when his car suddenly veered off the road and had crashed into a ditch. No other drivers had been on the road that night, and the brakes on his car had functioned perfectly. The insurance company and the police had conducted their investigations, but neither had been able to explain what caused Eric’s car to careen off the road like that. And now she would be heading to the same hotel in the same city to give a presentation. If her boss had known about what happened to her husband, maybe he wouldn’t have selected her. But then she wasn’t the kind of person who liked to discuss her private affairs.

  “Okay, so maybe you can tell them that now is not a good time,” her mom suggested. “That you need to be with your family right now? Maybe tell them that Ruby is, I don’t know, teething?”

  Which wasn’t a lie, since the last of Ruby’s baby teeth had recently started appearing. In that sense she was definitely a latecomer, but according to the dentist it was nothing to worry about.

  “If I did that, they’d simply select someone else to give the presentation, Mom.”

  “So? Is that so bad?”

  “It would also put me down a few pegs in the pecking order. Next time a big presentation comes up, they’ll think twice about asking me. And before you know it, I’ll be gently pushed toward the exit.”

  “That’s a pretty inhumane way to run a company.”

  “Inhumane or not, they want to know they can always rely on me.”

  “It’s the anniversary of Eric’s…” She glanced over to the kids, then whispered, “Well, you know.”

  “Of course I know, Mom. But if I let Eric’s death control my life like that, I’ll never go anywhere ever again. Accidents happen, and just because it happened to Eric doesn’t mean it will happen to me.”

  “Maybe you could ask someone to drive you,” Mom mused. “Book an Uber, maybe?”

  “It’s fine. I’ll be careful,” she promised.

  “And call me every hour on the hour to let me know how you’re doing.” She frowned. “Or maybe we should turn it into a family trip? We could all join you. The kids, me, your dad. You know, we could see the city while you do whatever it is that you have to do, and then we’ll meet up at the hotel and have a good time. That way I won’t spend the whole weekend worrying about you.”

  She smiled at her mom. “That’s sweet of you, Mom, but it’s really not necessary. I’ll be all right.”

  “Who’s talking about you? I’ll be worried sick, and I’m not even talking about your dad. With his heart condition, he shouldn’t be put through the wringer like this.”

  Holly thought about this. Her mom was right, of course. It was bad enough that Dad had lost his beloved son-in-law. If he ever lost his daughter too, that would be the end of him. But then she knew she couldn’t think like that, or she would never venture out of the house again—ever. So instead, she decided to change the topic. “So have you and Dad decided on the big move yet?”

  Mom made a throwaway gesture with her hand. “Oh, forget about that. Your dad will never go along with me on that one. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he wants to keep on living in that house forever—until his dying day. I keep telling him that place is much too big for us, and we should sell and move into something smaller. But you know your dad. The man is as stubborn as a mule. He keeps telling me that when you repot a plant there’s a good chance that it will die. And so if we repot ourselves, there’s always a chance we won’t survive.”

  “People aren’t plants, Mom,” she pointed out.

  “I know that, and you know that, but try telling that to your dad!”

  “Anyway, sooner or later you’ll have to move. That garden doesn’t take care of itself, and neither does the house.”

  Mom and Dad had bought the big house anticipating they’d raise a big family. And they had. With five kids in the house, at one time it had seemed too small to accommodate them all, especially when they had hit their teens and needed a lot of personal space. But since they had all left, the house definitely was too big to maintain, and even though they had been gently pushing their dad to sell up and move into a comfortable apartment in town, with an elevator and all the comforts he and Mom needed, the man was refusing to budge.

  “Until he finally sees the light,” said Mom, “I’ll have to keep paying Maria to come in twice a week, and Arturio to keep up gardening duties. At least those two are very happy with your dad’s stubbornness.”

  To Holly and her siblings their parents’ marriage was the gold standard by which they measured their own relationships. Even after forty years the love and respect they had for each other was still palpable. According to Mom it hadn’t always been that way, and shortly after they were married they had hit a rough patch. But as she liked to tell the story they had worked to overcome their differences, and after having raised five kids who now all had kids of their own, their marriage was stronger than ever. Now if only Dad would let go of the old house. Holly understood, though, and secretly didn’t want them to sell the place either. After all, there were so many memories there—all happy ones.

  Holly and her mother watched for a moment as the kids sat transfixed by the new and improved Mr. Longears, with Ruby giving him a million kisses and Sylvester giving his sister a big protecting cuddle. Then Holly went in search of Babette, who had been barking up a storm in the kitchen. She had almost reached the back door, assuming Babette wanted to be let out of the house—they always locked the pet door when they went out—when she almost stumbled over something lying on the floor. She switched on the light and, as she took a closer look, discovered to her horror that it was a man she had never seen before. And if she wasn’t mistaken, the man was very much dead!

  Chapter Two

  Mark Cooper watched the hullabaloo going on across the street from his bedroom window. There were a lot of lights flashing and police cars coming and going, and he wondered what was going on. As a retired math teacher, he knew the odds of a tragic event taking place in the same family were slim to none, so a second death taking place in the same family was highly unlikely. Probably the mother had taken a bad fall and had to be taken to the hospital, he thought. Or maybe the dad had suffered a cardiac arrest. He hoped the kids were all right. Even though he didn’t like Holly, he wouldn’t want to see any harm come to her kids. After all, they couldn’t help it if their mom was an annoying so-and-so.

  The family had definitely suffered through their share of tragedy, with Eric Mitchell dying a couple of years ago. Though this idea that Holly and Eric had been a dream couple was nonsense, of course. Once he’d passed by their house late at night walking Melvin, and he’d heard the couple engaged in a screaming match that had turned his ears red and had even caused Melvin to look up in alarm. Young love, he thought at the time. One minute they’re crazy about each other, and the next they can drink each other’s blood.

  According to the scuttlebutt, Eric had died in a road accident. Driven his car into a ditch. Holly had turned from a blushing young bride into a widow overnight, and now, four years on, there was still no sign of a new man in her life. Maybe there would never be one. Some women were like that. They lost the love of their lives and never wanted to remarry again. To be honest, he had also been like that. But then he and Jackie had been together fifty-five years before she passed, which was more than Holly and Eric ever had.

  Next to him, Melvin also looked at the house across the street, fascinated by all the bright lights.

  “What do you say if we take our walk now, Melvin?” he suggested. He could linger across the road for a while, joining the other rubberneckers and ambulance chasers, and maybe find out what was going on over there. He’d read all about it in tomorrow’s paper, of course, or on the Gazette website. For he’d already seen that Odelia Kingsley woman arrive, along with her husband Chase, the police detective. As usual, they were accompanied by their cats, which struck him as very strange indeed, but then such was life in Hampton Cove. All the eccentrics seemed to flock there. “Must be something in the water,” he told Melvin. And as if he understood what his human was saying, the poodle yapped in agreement.

  Mae West was just on her way back from the dog park, where she had walked her Alsatian, Roger Moore, when she was struck by the presence of all those police cars on her street. When she drew closer, she saw that they had all gathered at the place where the Mitchells lived, though it was probably more accurate to say that Holly Mitchell lived there, since Eric had died a couple of years ago now, in some tragic accident she didn’t know the details about, nor did anyone else as far as she knew.

  “Now what do we have here?” she asked as she approached. The police had cordoned off the area, so she couldn’t actually get close to where the action was, and she joined the other people gawking at the events as they unfolded. She found herself standing next to Mark Cooper. Mark had come out accompanied by his poodle, Melvin, and as the two dogs proceeded to sniff at each other, she and Mark exchanged a greeting. Even though she had never particularly liked Mark, she had always tried to maintain a cordial relationship with the man, if only because they were neighbors and forced to bump into each other on a regular basis, especially since they were both dog owners and met one another in the local dog park every day. All the dog owners on the block were members of the same WhatsApp group and kept in touch that way. But Mark, being one of the more overbearing neighbors she had ever encountered, liked to boss the others around to some extent, something she hated.

  Her husband, Julio, had always said about Mark that if he had been a general in the army, his own soldiers would have turned against him and shot him. But since they were merely neighbors and Mark wasn’t a general but a retired math teacher, no shootings had occurred so far.

  “What’s going on?” she asked.

  “No idea,” said Mark. “It started about an hour ago. First, one police car arrived, then an ambulance, then this whole fleet of police cars. That Kingsley reporter went in with her detective husband, so it must be something big if those two are involved.”

  Mae knew just what Mark was referring to. Chase Kingsley and his wife were big on handling murder inquiries, of which there had been far too many recently. So if they had gone in, this couldn’t be Holly’s mom who had stumbled over the dog and taken a nasty tumble.

  “Do you think... It’s murder?” she asked.

  “Has to be,” said Mark, “if the Kingsleys are involved. And the Kingsley woman had her cats along with her, so that probably means they’ll be here all night, sniffing out clues and generally making a big spectacle of things.” He sniffed audibly, and contempt was written all over his features. Not every dog owner hates cats, but Mark sure did. In fact, it wasn’t too much to say he abhorred the species with a vengeance and wouldn’t have minded if cats became extinct at some point.

  “I can’t imagine. Murder? Here on our street? But who? And why?”

  “Like I said, no idea,” Mark confessed, and he sounded disappointed as he said it.

  “You don’t think... Holly?” asked Mae. Even though she wasn’t overly fond of Holly Mitchell, she couldn’t help but feel some measure of sympathy for the woman. After the tragedy that had befallen her, she still did her best to give those kids of hers a good upbringing. Her parents had been a big help, of course, especially Holly’s mom, who was always there to take care of her grandkids.

  “I think it must be the mother,” Mark now said. “Maybe they got into a fight and things got out of hand. I just can’t see what else it could be,” he hastened to add when Mae expressed her shock and dismay at these words.

  “I just can’t believe it,” she said. “I only hope... It’s not one of those family tragedies you always hear about. You know, that she first killed her kids and then herself.”

  Mark’s face contorted into a frown. “I hope you’re right,” he said. “Now that would be a tragedy.”

  She glanced up at her neighbor. Rumor had it that Mark Cooper had been sweet on Holly for a while. Though he was far too old for the woman, of course. But it had to be said that Holly Mitchell was an attractive woman. Possibly too attractive for a widow. But then she had become a widow at a very young age. They had only been married a few short years when tragedy struck.

  Roger Moore was straining at the leash to take a look, and now she saw what had caused him to become restless. The Kingsleys were walking out of the house, accompanied by their cats. Roger Moore barked at the cats, and so did Melvin. The cats looked a little intimidated, she thought. They were a big red cat and a small fluffy beige-gray one. Odd, she thought, that the Kingsley woman wouldn’t go anywhere without her cats in tow. Then again, she never went anywhere without Roger Moore, so maybe it wasn’t all that odd. Just that people didn’t usually take their cats with them. They might be companion animals, but not when you ventured out of the home.