“No, she would not,” I said, coming to my human’s defense. “She’s never let me down before, and she won’t now. She said she would talk to Diego, and I hope she does.”

  “Fat lot of good that’ll do,” said Brutus, his skeptical nature shining through. “I mean, Diego is such a great con artist he’ll simply wrap her around his little finger again.” He pounded his paw with his other paw. “No, we need to fix this ourselves, you guys. Or, better yet,” he added, gesturing at Dooley, “talk to Clarice again. She will fix this for us.”

  And so we set out to Charlie Dieber’s place again. It was a long hike, but since we didn’t have anything better to do, we accepted our fate with equanimity. The nocturnal trek soon soothed the bitter memory of Diego kicking us out of cat choir, and when we finally arrived at the large compound the Dieber occupied, the fresh ocean breeze and the relative quiet of the night had done its healing work and I was starting to feel a little better again.

  We met Clarice out on the deck, where she sat gazing up at the full moon as it cast its pale light across the world. She looked forlorn, but that was probably just my imagination.

  “Hey, Clarice,” I said by way of greeting. “Fancy meeting you here.”

  She barely glanced up. “Oh, it’s you again.”

  I would have hoped for a little more enthusiasm, but at least she didn’t kick us out.

  We joined her, and Brutus said, “Great night, huh? The moon… the stars… the, um, trees…”

  “Oh, cut the crap, Brutus,” she said. “What do you want?”

  “We never finished that conversation about Diego,” said Brutus, not discouraged.

  “We need to get rid of Diego again, Clarice,” I explained. “And we can’t do it alone. We need your help. You got rid of him so magnificently last time, and we wanted to ask you to do it again.”

  “As a favor to us,” Brutus said. “Because that cat is making our lives a living hell.”

  Clarice was still staring up at the moon. “I’d always wondered, you know,” she said softly.

  “Wondered what?” I asked.

  “What life would be like for a cat like you. Having a human who loves you—takes care of you—takes you to the vet to deworm you and all.”

  I drew myself up to my full height. “I’ll have you know I’ve never had to be dewormed.”

  “You know what I mean.” She sighed. “This place is such a madhouse. Two dozen cats living in the same house. Can you imagine? It’s driving me nuts. Out there in the woods I had my own space. Peace and quiet. No one to bother me. Here? Yackety-yackety-yackety-yack all day and all night long.” She shook her head. “I like the food, and I like Charlie, but his pack of cats is too much. This may sound crazy but I’m starting to think about getting out of here.”

  “So what about Diego?” asked Dooley, never one to apply tact or diplomacy.

  Clarice turned a pair of fierce eyes on Dooley and he visibly shrank into his fur. “Who do you think I am? Your personal bitch? I don’t take orders from no one, buster. Least of all some pampered little—” She caught herself and grimaced. “Oh, my. Who’s the pampered one now, huh? I guess the joke’s on me for calling you guys names all these years.”

  “I’m sorry you feel this way, Clarice,” I said, shooting Dooley a cautionary look.

  “Yeah, that makes two of us,” she said, returning her gaze to the moon, which for some reason she’d developed a fascination with. “Look, I’m not your mother. If you have some issue with Diego you’ll just have to handle it. You’re big cats. You don’t need me.”

  “But Clarice!” Dooley cried. “He’s just kicked us out of cat choir!”

  “Who cares about cat choir? Cats can’t sing. Everybody knows that.”

  “We can sing just fine,” I said, feeling hurt. This was the second time in a single night that my singing abilities had been questioned and I wasn’t sure I liked it.

  “Look, I took care of Diego once. I’m not doing it again. I’ve got no beef with that cat. So if you want to get rid of him you’re just going to have to cat up and do it yourselves.”

  Just then, there was a commotion on the upstairs balcony, and to my great surprise I suddenly saw Odelia and Chase briefly appear, before returning indoors.

  “Hey! What’s Odelia doing here?” I asked.

  “Oh, some idiot left a knife on Charlie’s pillow,” said Clarice dismissively. “And now the whole house is in the throes of some great pandemonium. It’s one of the reasons I’m thinking about splitting. I can’t even think with all the noise and the drama.”

  “Who put the knife there?” asked Dooley.

  “One of the security guards,” said Clarice. “Luca something. He must have thought it was some big joke. But Charlie isn’t laughing, and neither am I, for that matter.”

  “I’ll bet this Luca is real sorry now, huh?” asked Brutus.

  “Nobody knows it was him,” said Clarice. “One of the cats told me. She saw Luca put the knife on Charlie’s pillow and then stalk off again. I would have told Charlie but unlike your human Charlie doesn’t understand us. Which is weird for a self-proclaimed cat lover.”

  I slowly raised my eyes to the balcony. I had to tell Odelia. She probably didn’t have a clue about this Luca character placing the knife on Charlie’s pillow. It was a great scoop.

  “Thanks, Clarice,” I said, and started towards the house.

  “Hey! Where are you going?” asked Brutus.

  “I have to talk to Odelia!” I called back.

  “What about Diego?!”

  “I’m sorry! Duty calls!”

  “Cats,” I heard Clarice mutter. “Can’t live with them—can’t kill them.”

  Chapter 15

  Odelia rubbed her eyes. Sucking down three cups of coffee in a row that a friendly housekeeper had brought her wasn’t helping. They’d interviewed most of the household staff and all of the security personnel, and so far they had nothing. Bupkis. Nada.

  No one had seen anything—no one knew anything. And Dieber was getting more and more antsy with every passing minute. Every few seconds he stuck his head in and asked if they’d found his killer yet. She would have liked to point out that in order for there to be a killer in the house he would have had to be killed first, but bit her tongue.

  “This is getting us nowhere,” she told Chase when they’d interviewed an actual butler. The man had been hired to welcome the guests in case Charlie threw one of his parties, but since the incident the security team had taken over and introduced a more stringent vetting procedure and the man was essentially out of work. The fact that he was still on staff indicated Charlie either had way too much money to burn or was a true philanthropist. Odelia suspected the former.

  “Someone must have seen something,” Chase insisted.

  She decided she needed a break, and went in search of a bathroom. They’d conducted their interviews in one of the guest bedrooms, but the one they’d picked didn’t have an en-suite bathroom. And she’d just walked out of the facility, after having splashed some water on her face, when none other than Max came trotting up the white marble staircase, visibly out of breath, and yelling excitedly, “Odelia! I know! I know who did it!”

  She crouched down, checked if no one was around, and asked, “What are you doing here?”

  “Long story—no time,” he said between gasps. “The guy who planted the knife is called Luca and he’s a security guard. One of the cats saw him and told Clarice and Clarice told us, and now I’m telling you.” He took a deep breath. “Luca. Knife. He’s the killer, Odelia!”

  She smiled and rubbed him behind the ear. “You did good, Max. I think you just might have solved the case.”

  He gave her a pleading look. “So now can I stay? You’re not going to sell me to the pound?”

  She groaned. This Diego was doing a real number on her cats. “I told you already, Max. I’m never going to sell you to anyone. You’re my cat and that’ll never change.”

  She thought he actually smiled at this, though it was hard to be sure with all the hair.

  “Thanks. Oh, and say hi to Chase from me.”

  “For obvious reasons I won’t,” she said with a grin, getting up. “Oh, and if you want a treat, the cat food is laid out in the kitchen pantry. It’s being replenished twenty-four-seven, so I’m sure you’ll find what you need.”

  “Thanks, Odelia,” he said a little breathlessly, and gave her a look of such adulation she had to laugh.

  “Dig in,” she said. “You’ve earned it.” She hurried back to the bedroom where Chase was now staring out the window at the pool, its lights giving it an eerie glow. She stopped short of blurting out her exciting discovery when she realized she couldn’t tell him about Max. So how to handle this? She decided to play it cool.

  He turned when he heard her approach. “So who’s next?” he asked.

  She made a display of checking her notes. “Have we talked to Luca Elrott yet?”

  He frowned. “Remind me. Who is he again?”

  “We saw him in Roulston’s office. He’s part of Charlie’s protection detail.”

  “Oh, right. I remember. Well, since Roulston talked to his people we can skip him.”

  “I… I have a hunch, Chase,” she admitted. “I think we need to talk to the guy.”

  He gave her a funny look. “A hunch, huh? By all means then, call him in.”

  “Thanks,” she said gratefully. There had been a time when Chase would have made fun of her hunches, but after having worked more than a few cases together, he knew how valuable they were. So she got on the horn with Roulston, and conveyed her request.

  Luca Elrott was a man with a concave face, as if someone had once hit him with a football and his face had never bounced back. He had a flat nose, and eyes set too close together. The effect was a little disconcerting, like watching a cartoon character come alive.

  “Hi, Luca,” said Chase, taking a seat at their makeshift interview table—a nice vanity table with the mirror removed. “Come on in. We just got a couple of questions for you.”

  “I answered all of Roulston’s questions,” said Luca, sitting down across from them.

  “Yeah, well, we like to be thorough,” said Chase. “A very serious incident took place here tonight, and we need to figure out who’s responsible.”

  “Of course. I understand, Detective.”

  He didn’t look particularly at ease, Odelia thought, and wondered how she was going to make this man confess. She could hardly go with ‘The cat saw you!’

  Why would Luca want to murder his employer? He had to have a motive. Maybe a monetary one? Or could he be working for some mysterious cabal that wanted Charlie dead?

  She listened as Chase asked all the usual questions, and the guy answered them all without a hitch. Suddenly she had it. She knew how she could make him talk.

  She cleared her throat. “You were seen, Luca.”

  “Huh?” he said, shifting his eyes from Chase to her.

  “When you planted that knife? Someone saw you.”

  “Who?”

  She smiled. “An innocent man wouldn’t ask who. He would cry out his innocence.”

  He shifted in his seat. “Yeah, I mean I didn’t do it, so whoever saw me is lying.”

  “No, they’re not. Why did you do it, Luca? Why did you try to kill Charlie?”

  “Are you crazy? I just told you I didn’t do it!”

  “Look, we’ve established that you did, so now all I need to hear from you is why.”

  “But—”

  “We can cut you a deal, Luca. If you tell us who you’re working for. If not, you’ll go away for a very long time for the murder of Ray Cooper.”

  The man’s eyes went wide. “But I didn’t kill Ray! We were best buds! He got me this job—you can ask anyone. I’ve known Ray since high school. We played ball together.”

  “All the more reason to tell us who paid you to take that shot,” said Chase. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Look, Luca. I’ve got the warrant for your arrest right here.” He patted a folded-up piece of paper on the vanity. It contained a blueprint of the house, but Luca didn’t need to know that. “All signed and ready to go. Judge wasn’t happy being dragged out of bed in the middle of the night, but when we showed him the witness statement he was more than willing to sign. So we know you did it. Now all we need to know is who paid you.”

  Luca looked torn for a moment, then shook his head. “Look, I didn’t kill Ray, all right? I’m not lying. He was my best friend. It’s just that…”

  “It’s just what?” asked Chase, shooting Odelia a look of surprise.

  Luca exploded. “Charlie is such a knucklehead! Some idiot shot Ray and all he can think about is his next party? Jump in the pool with his Bediebers? Come on! Show some respect, dude! A good man just took a bullet for you, and you’re sucking on your bong and hitting the pool? I just wanted to teach him a lesson, you know. Make him sit up and think.”

  “So… you didn’t kill Ray?” asked Odelia.

  “Of course not! We were like brothers!”

  “But you did place the knife,” said Chase.

  “Yeah, I did. I just wanted to scare the douchebag a little. He’s such a prick.”

  Odelia believed him, and so apparently did Chase, for he gave the man a stern look and said, “I understand why you did it, Luca, but your behavior is still intolerable for a man hired to protect and serve. You can see that, right?”

  “It’s tough to protect and serve a man like Charlie Dieber, Detective. A man who deserves no respect whatsoever.”

  “I get that. But you knew that going in. The least you could do is act like a professional.”

  Odelia thought he was going to add, ‘Dismissed,’ but instead he called in Roulston.

  “So am I under arrest now?” asked Luca, gesturing at the ‘arrest warrant.’

  “Nope. But I think it’s safe to say your services will no longer be required.”

  “You know what? That’s actually a relief,” said Luca. He then gave Chase and Odelia a pleading look. “Please find Ray’s killer. He was a good man. He didn’t deserve to die.”

  Chase clapped a hand on the man’s shoulder. “We will find his killer, Luca. You have my word on that.”

  They watched as Roulston escorted him out. The moment the two men were gone, Chase turned to her. “How did you know he was the one?”

  She shrugged. “Like I said. Just a hunch.”

  “Just a hunch, huh? You’ve got some great hunches, Poole.”

  “Thanks for trusting me, Chase,” she said, and she meant it.

  “You know what your uncle told me when I first came to town?”

  “No, what?”

  “If my niece tells you something, you better listen.”

  “Is that why you gave me such a hard time?”

  He grinned. “I’ll admit, I was an idiot.”

  “Yes, you were.”

  “He was right, though. You’re something else, Odelia Poole.”

  She placed her hands around his neck, and they shared a quick kiss.

  They still hadn’t found Ray Cooper’s killer—in fact they were nowhere near solving this case—but somehow she had a hunch they were finally getting somewhere.

  Chapter 16

  Dooley, Brutus and I were on our way home, and when I told them about my little chat with Odelia, and how she’d assured me once more that she wasn’t secretly planning to get rid of us, they were happy as clams.

  “See? I told you,” said Brutus. “Diego is a liar. That’s all there is to it. No way would Odelia or her folks ever kick us out. They adore cats! They love us!”

  “I’m so glad,” said Dooley. “I feel so relieved. In fact I think I’m going to cry.”

  I patted his little head. “It’s okay, Dooley. Let it all out, buddy. Don’t hold back.”

  “Now all we need to figure out is how to dislodge Diego from the house,” said Brutus.

  “And from cat choir,” I added. “I don’t take being kicked out of cat choir lightly.”

  “We need to get that cat out of town, out of our lives, out of existence!” Brutus said.

  “But how?” asked Dooley, sniffling and licking his nose. “Clarice won’t help us.”

  “Yeah, that’s a serious setback,” Brutus agreed. “A very serious setback indeed.”

  And we were so busy contemplating ways and means of getting rid of Diego that we didn’t even notice that a white stretch limousine had approached us from behind and had come to a full stop right next to us. The door opened, a hand stole out, and quickly grabbed me by the neck and hauled me inside! Next were Brutus and Dooley, and we found ourselves staring at none other than… Charlie Dieber!

  He was smiling at us, sucking from a vape. “Hello, lovely ladies. Have we met?”

  For a moment there I thought he could talk feline, but when I said, “Yeah, we met. You told me you don’t do dudes, dude—only babes.”

  He grinned like an idiot, then had a fit of the giggles. “It’s almost as if you’re actually talking to me!” he said between two snorts.

  “What is this guy smoking?” asked Brutus.

  “I don’t know but it’s not nicotine,” I said.

  “News flash, cats,” said the Dieber, having recovered slightly. He was now lying on his back, staring up at the limo ceiling, which, to my surprise, featured a large picture of Dieber’s face. Huh. “I’m going to adopt you,” he continued. “Add you to my squad. I think you three lovely ladies will fit right in. You,” he added, sticking a finger in my belly, “are a big fatty, and big fatties are usually not my style, but on you it looks kinda cute. And I dig it, girl!”

  “Yeah, I dig you, too, buddy,” I said. “But here’s another news flash: I already belong to someone.”

  “We all do,” said Brutus.

  “Guys, I don’t think he speaks cat,” said Dooley.

  “And he seems to think we’re female,” I said.

  “Hey, driver!” the Dieber called out. “Plot a course for Dieber Castle, my faithful retainer!”