‘Let’s dance.’ Summer grabbed Karly’s and Nev’s hands and tugged them to their feet.

  ‘This song sucks,’ Karly muttered, reminding Summer of the many times her friend had said the same thing when they’d attended underage discos way back when, and she laughed.

  ‘Fine, you’re right, I’m missing that stupid principal and I want to forget, at least for tonight.’

  Ignoring her friends’ matching surprised expressions, she marched towards the dance floor, not particularly caring if they were following. She needed to let loose tonight, starting with a little toe-and heel-tapping action.

  Four hours later, Nev tucked her into bed after placing a glass of water and two paracetamol on the bedside table next to her phone.

  ‘Call me if you need anything, okay?’

  Summer groaned and pressed her fingertips to her temples. ‘Don’t talk so loud.’

  ‘You sure you’re going to be okay?’

  ‘I’ll be fine,’ Summer said, equal parts embarrassed and annoyed she’d allowed some sheep farmer from mid-east Victoria to buy her Fireball shots. ‘But next time I’m exhibiting poor judgement, drag me to the car, okay?’

  Nev smiled and patted her arm. ‘I think both Karly and I tried that about halfway through your dance spectacular, but you insisted on sticking around.’

  Summer screwed up her eyes, trying to remember. ‘Did I call you party-poopers?’

  ‘Yes, among other things.’

  ‘Hell.’ Summer pressed the back of her hand to her forehead. While she appreciated her friend seeing her home and into bed, she wished she’d leave so she could close her eyes and will the pounding in her head to stop. ‘Sorry for being a pain in the arse.’

  ‘You weren’t. Not much anyway.’ Nev hesitated. ‘Haven’t seen you this drunk in a long time.’

  ‘Those bloody Fireballs were my undoing.’

  ‘You usually would stop at a few.’

  Even in her stupor, with the room spinning, Summer knew what her friend was implying and she didn’t like it. Because it was true. She’d drunk to forget what a miserable time she’d been having and she’d drunk to forget Jy. Two stupid reasons when she was old enough to know better.

  ‘I miss him,’ she whispered, mortified when tears burned her eyes. ‘And I shouldn’t. He’s nothing more than a hook-up. I usually have such a great time when the three of us go out, but tonight felt weird somehow and I didn’t want it to be and—’

  ‘Hey, it’s okay to like him. He’s a good guy and there’s no rulebook saying you can’t fall for him a little, even if he’s not a keeper. So cut yourself some slack, okay? And stop putting so much pressure on yourself to behave a certain way.’

  Nev brushed Summer’s hair off her forehead in the same way her mum would’ve done, and that was Summer’s undoing. Sobs welled in her chest and she needed to be alone before she broke down completely.

  ‘Thanks, Nev, I need to sleep now.’

  Intuitive as ever, Nev gave her a quick hug before standing. ‘Have a good sleep-in tomorrow and you’ll feel better.’

  Considering Summer hadn’t drunk this much in a long time she doubted anything would help the monster hangover she’d have in the morning, but she nodded and waited until she heard the front door shut before rolling onto her side and letting the tears she’d been battling fall.

  Summer never cried over a guy, ever. But she was drunk and lonely. Her excuse and she was sticking to it. The stupid tears had nothing to do with the fact she may have broken her hook-up rule and fallen for Jy a little.

  CHAPTER

  34

  Rayne arrived on Leo Santini’s doorstep—she’d finally learned his surname—around seven on Saturday night. Summer hadn’t been feeling well and had been adamant in wanting to be left alone to nurse her hangover in peace. Rayne hadn’t pushed. They’d never had the kind of relationship to invite deep confidences. How could they, when Rayne had kept secrets from her daughter and Summer sensed it? It was one of her many regrets, not being able to confide in her daughter, to reveal the truth about her father when she’d asked many times. But Rayne had preferred wearing Summer’s resentment than disillusioning the teen who’d idolised Noel.

  Considering her reunion with Leo held a wealth of possibilities for an ongoing relationship, Rayne knew the time would fast approach when she’d have to tell Summer the truth. Her daughter deserved to know and she didn’t want any secrets tainting her future.

  With Summer out of action she’d manned the shop today, even though she’d been tempted to close and hightail it to Melbourne. But she’d already closed her pride and joy once this week and she hated to let people down. The day had dragged and although she’d sold enough to validate her earlier closure in the week, the last thing she’d been focussed on was the shop’s bottom line. All she could think about was her overnight bag already packed and waiting in the boot of her car.

  Leo’s invitation to stay the weekend hadn’t come as a surprise. They’d spoken every night this week, long phone calls that went for hours, and she could hardly believe any of this was real. Each evening she’d curl up on her couch with a glass of chardonnay in one hand, her phone in the other, and listen to his dulcet tones as he divulged snippets of his life over the years. His love for his daughter was evident as he waxed lyrical about Josie’s obsession with the ocean and her marine biology degree, something that had enabled her to travel the world to study her passion. He thrived in the business he’d built from scratch and had constructed some amazing houses in Melbourne. He told her about his favourite restaurants and meals and parks, all the while building a fanciful dream in her head. A dream featuring the two of them together.

  Rayne had given up on dreams a long time ago but listening to Leo, she started to believe anything was possible, so it seemed natural to accept his invitation to spend the weekend with him. He’d suggested they go away somewhere, maybe Daylesford or Ocean Grove, and while she loved his thoughtfulness, having a few fancy weekends away at hotels or B&Bs would prolong the inevitable—getting real insight into the man she wanted to know a whole lot better—so she’d invited herself to his place.

  If he’d been surprised he hadn’t shown it and when she’d made a joke about seeing him in his natural habitat, he’d laughed and said he couldn’t wait to have her over but hadn’t wanted to rush her.

  Yet agreeing to an overnighter and actually going through with it were worlds apart now she’d pulled up out the front of his house, a gorgeous two-storey modern monolith in bayside South Melbourne. Glass windows overlooking the bay dominated the front, with a black balcony protruding from the second storey, stark against the white-rendered exterior. She loved the place on sight, but that didn’t make getting out of her car any easier.

  She would have sex with Leo tonight.

  And for someone who hadn’t experienced the touch of a man for sixteen years—and who didn’t enjoy it before that—she was beyond nervous. She’d spent an inordinate amount of time scrutinising herself in the mirror after she’d showered this morning; it hadn’t helped her confidence. Gravity exerted too much influence after a certain age but her skin wasn’t too bad and being blessed with height meant the extra ten kilos she carried since her first time with Leo were evenly distributed.

  Besides, her connection with Leo went beyond the physical and their conversations over the last week revealed what she’d already known: they had a bond that would grow given time.

  She’d never been prone to regrets but she wondered how different her life would’ve been if he hadn’t lost her phone number, if they’d had a chance to build on this connection back then. Silly, because they’d been young and caught up in a whirlwind weekend romance, and who knew if that could’ve been sustained?

  A loud tap at her window made her jump and she glanced up to find Leo looking at her with concern. Flashing him a sheepish smile, she opened the door and stepped out.

  ‘Everything okay?’

  ‘Fine,’ she said, sounding ridiculously perky, and he chuckled.

  ‘You don’t have to be nervous. We’re taking this slow, remember? I just wanted to spend some quiet time with you …’ He opened his arms to her and she sighed, leaning into his embrace and relaxing for the first time since she’d arrived. His arms tightened around her, grounding, reassuring, and as she rested her cheek against his chest, even his heartbeat was steady and strong. Everything about this man screamed dependability and safety, and she couldn’t have chosen better to rebuild her trust.

  How could this feel so right?

  When he eased away, he placed a finger under her chin and tipped it up so he could stare directly into her eyes. ‘I know this is a big deal for you and I want you to know I’d never do anything to hurt you.’

  ‘Thanks for saying that,’ she said, wondering what he’d think if she revealed every single doubt pinging through her head. It’s been sixteen years since I’ve been with a man, will I be enough? Will I be able to relax and enjoy your company, your touch? Will I freeze and run and screw this up before we’ve had a chance?

  ‘You’re still looking at me like I’m about to pounce so how about we head inside, have a drink and watch a movie?’

  ‘Sounds good.’

  And it did, but what would happen when the movie ended? Would he put the moves on her despite saying he’d take things slow? Would she respond or clam up? And what about the sleeping arrangements? So many ridiculous questions she couldn’t ignore no matter how hard she tried.

  As he got her overnight bag from the boot and she locked the car, she wondered if there was still time to turn tail and run.

  As if sensing her distress, Leo slipped his hand into hers and squeezed. ‘It’s a miracle we’re here, together, after all this time, but if you want to leave and try this another time it’s okay.’

  Rayne’s throat tightened with emotion. It was as if this insightful man could read her mind. He was giving her an out. No controlling behaviour. No guilting her into staying. Instead, he’d handed her the control and it was heady stuff for someone not used to having any in a relationship.

  ‘Thanks for understanding, and I am incredibly nervous, but I want to do this.’ In a bold move, she brought his hand to her mouth and pressed a kiss to the back of it. ‘I want to spend time with you.’

  He beamed, making her heart turn over. ‘In that case, there’s a wine bottle with our names on it.’

  As he led her inside and through to the kitchen, she struggled not to gawk at the gorgeousness of his house. Polished concrete floors, rendered feature walls, funky light fittings halfway between chandeliers and sconces, and high ceilings that added to the feeling of space.

  ‘This place is amazing,’ she said, as he placed her bag at the bottom of the stairs and she followed him down a long hallway towards a brightly lit kitchen.

  ‘Thanks. I wanted something modern but with a homely feel and the company’s architect came up with this. I love it.’

  As they entered the kitchen, Rayne had to refrain from pressing her hands to her chest in absolute joy. She enjoyed cooking, though whipping up meals for one didn’t hold much appeal at the end of a workday, which is why she frequented the Vegan Vault. But what would it be like to cook in this kitchen with its ebony stone bench tops and island bench, gleaming white cupboards, the biggest induction stovetop she’d ever seen and a clear-glass fridge stacked neatly with fresh produce?

  ‘I’m moving in,’ she said, with a laugh, spinning around to take it all in.

  ‘I’d love you to.’

  She waited for him to laugh, to smile at her, so when he eyeballed her with a frankness that stole her breath, she was the one to force a nervous laugh.

  ‘You’re a wine connoisseur too?’ She pointed at the bottle of shiraz, half-decanted, with two exquisite crystal glasses next to it.

  ‘Decanting accentuates the flavours and this one’s a particularly good year.’

  She didn’t tell him she abhorred red wine because that’s what Noel had insisted they serve at dinner parties, more because he was a pretentious knob than from any real love of grapes.

  ‘Why don’t you head through to the family room and pick a movie?’

  ‘Sure.’

  Grateful to escape his all-seeing stare, she headed for the next room where a giant wall-mounted TV took pride of place, a host of movies to stream already displayed on the screen. He must’ve got all this prepared while she’d dithered in her car. She sank into a low-slung caramel suede sofa and picked up the remote, willing herself to relax.

  She may have originally signed up to the Happy site to appease Heidi and rekindle their friendship but never in her wildest dreams had she imagined meeting someone let alone reconnecting with her first love. Maybe the karma gods believed she’d endured enough and this was a nice cosmic payback? However she’d ended up here, with a man she’d once adored for an all too brief moment in time, she needed to stop second-guessing everything and let go enough to enjoy.

  ‘In case you’re hungry after the long drive,’ Leo said, placing a cheese platter on the low glass table in front of the sofa.

  ‘Thanks,’ she said, eyeing the artfully arranged brie, blue vein, gouda, quince paste, grapes, figs, breadsticks and wafer crackers, wondering if there was anything this man couldn’t do; from his house to this charcuterie platter, he obviously liked the aesthetically pleasing. She wanted to pinch herself to make sure this was all real.

  ‘Be back in a sec with the wine.’

  She watched him walk away, his bare feet not making a sound on the polished concrete. He had sexy feet. Long, thin, with a smattering of hair on the top. She’d never found feet attractive before but this was Leo and she’d once loved everything about him. He wore navy track pants and a grey T-shirt and she liked that he’d dressed down, comfortable in his skin and his house.

  As he re-entered with two glasses and the wine decanter, he said, ‘Have you chosen something yet?’

  ‘No.’ She knew whatever they watched, she wouldn’t see it. She’d be too conscious of him sitting next to her, of what the night ahead might entail.

  ‘Want me to choose?’

  ‘Sure.’

  ‘Action? Rom-com? Drama? Any preferences?’

  ‘How about a comedy?’

  ‘Comedy it is.’ She could do with a good laugh, anything to distract from watching the shifting of his back muscles as he leaned forward to pour the wine. How his T-shirt rode up slightly, revealing a sliver of tanned skin. And how her heart thudded in anticipation.

  While he scrolled through the menu she took a sip of wine, savouring the smoothness of it as it slid down her throat, leaving a hint of plum in its wake. She’d never tasted anything like it.

  ‘This is incredible,’ she said, taking another sip, as sublime as the first.

  ‘I’ve been saving it for a special occasion,’ he said, offhand, but she saw the way his fingers clenched around the remote.

  Rayne had two choices. Sit here and pretend to watch a movie she had no interest in, her head spinning with what could come later, or actually talk to this incredible man and see where tonight could lead.

  ‘Tonight is special, Leo, and I hope you know how much.’

  His thumb stilled on the remote as he turned to look at her. ‘It’s a big deal for me too, but I don’t want to put any more pressure on you than you already must be feeling.’

  ‘And I appreciate it. But I think we should talk rather than watch a movie?’

  ‘Okay.’

  He stabbed at a button and the screen went black. Then he sat beside her, close enough that their knees touched. ‘It’s been a hell of a week, talking to you every night, wishing you were here …’

  ‘I know. The way we connect … I know I have no right to ask this, but have you had this connection before or am I just reading too much into us? Taking a fanciful teenage crush and building it up into something bigger because I’m so damn inexperienced when it comes to men?’

  He eyed her with respect. ‘I love your honesty, how you don’t hedge or bullshit. It’s refreshing.’

  She noted he hadn’t answered the question and she arched an eyebrow.

  ‘And no, you’re not reading too much into this. I haven’t connected with a woman like this—well, ever. I’m not a romantic. I’m a practical guy who believes in making things happen, but this? Us? After all this time? Makes me believe in romance a little.’

  She gave a nervous laugh. ‘I want to be here, I do, and I’ve been looking forward to it all week, but I’m overthinking the rest.’

  ‘The rest?’

  Heat suffused her cheeks and she tried not to squirm. ‘You’re an attractive man, Leo. We’re spending the night together. But I haven’t had sex in a long time.’ There. She’d given him another dose of that bluntness he admired and, rather than recoil, he reached out and took her free hand.

  ‘We’ve got separate rooms, sweetheart. No expectations. No pressure.’

  ‘Okay.’ She swirled her wine once before draining the rest of it in two gulps, eliciting a deep chuckle from Leo before he released her hand.

  ‘Anything else you want to get straight?’

  ‘No, all good.’

  But she wasn’t, because as he turned the TV back on and hit play on an old comedy that had probably been released around the same time they’d met, all she could think about was how foolish it would be to get used to this despite wanting it with every fibre of her being.

  After falling asleep on the sofa earlier and then bidding Leo goodnight with a drowsy kiss over an hour ago, Rayne had taken a quick shower, something she always did last thing at night to relax. But rather than the lavender body wash helping her to unwind, once she’d slipped on a nightie and got into bed, she couldn’t sleep. Thoughts of Leo consumed her. His thoughtfulness, his sincerity, his … everything. She’d finally lucked into a man who was perfect for her, a man she could fall for given half a chance, and he now lay two bedrooms down the hall while she tried to come up with every reason why she shouldn’t take a chance for once in her orderly life.