CHAPTER 10

  Zara

  Three weeks ago, Zara had gone to the doctor. They’d run tests, taken her blood, and told her that everything would be fine. When the test results had come back, though, they’d sent her to a different doctor, who’d run more tests and told her that everything would not be fine.

  “I’m afraid, we’re dealing with stage four. It’s metastatic, and it’s spread,” the oncologist had told her.

  “But I’ve felt perfectly fine until recently. Maybe a cold here and there, but that’s it. I haven’t even felt overly tired or anything like that.”

  “We’re not out of options yet. There are just fewer of them, Zara.”

  “I’m going to die?”

  “I can give you the numbers, but I’d rather discuss treatment options to at least try to slow the growth.”

  “How long?”

  “It doesn’t work like that. We don’t like to–”

  “Please,” she had interjected.

  “About a thirty-percent survival rate for five years.”

  “So, I’m thirty percent likely to live until I’m forty-five?”

  “Yes, but it depends on many factors, and it’s the average. You could be on the high end and–”

  “But I could also be on the low end?”

  “I am concerned with how quickly you’ve started to feel poorly. You need to get into treatment as soon as possible.”

  “But it won’t stop it?”

  “Not likely, no. It’s spread too far. We can slow down the growth and give you more time, potentially, but we have to see how you respond.”

  “Chemo?”

  “A combination of treatments would be best.”

  “But I’d feel worse?” Zara had asked.

  “There are side effects, yes,” the woman had told her. “I’ll review everything with you to ensure you’re comfortable with the course of treatment before we begin, but, Zara, you need to begin today. I will find room for you. You can’t wait even another day.”

  “Chemo, radiation, and probably more, too, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “I have a friend who’s gone through that in her early thirties. She had stage one, but she’s been in remission ever since, thankfully. I was told by my doctor a few years ago that I was a low risk for breast cancer. No one in my family has had it. I don’t think anyone in my family has had any kind of cancer going back to my grandparents, at least.”

  “Zara, I’m sorry. I know this is shocking, and you need to process and work through it, but we should begin treatment. Can we focus on reviewing that right now? I’ll answer any questions you have.”

  “How much time do you think I have? Not averages or what the studies or journals or whatever tell you.”

  “Zara, I don’t like to give timelines. It’s so different for every patient. It’s dangerous for us to try to predict something like this.”

  “But you’ve seen my test results,” she’d argued.

  The doctor had sighed and clasped her hands over her desk.

  “When you had a mammogram two years ago, nothing showed in the scans.”

  “I skipped it last year. I got busy,” Zara had added.

  “Yes. I don’t know if we would’ve seen it then, but it’s possible. What I can tell you is that we ran tests three weeks ago and last week, and it’s fast-moving. At this rate, it’s possible we’re looking at six months to a year. Maybe less.”

  “So, less, really? You just don’t want to say it?”

  Zara hadn’t started treatment that day. The thought of being in more pain than she was now until the end of her life hadn’t been something she’d been interested in. What she had been interested in was talking to Arwen. She knew it was selfish and not fair to Arwen to finally tell her how she felt and to die shortly after, but she had wasted too much time. She’d known for years and hadn’t said anything, and now, if she were lucky, she’d have a year left; a little longer if she sought treatment and it stopped the spread, but she wouldn’t be able to do anything, and that wasn’t what she wanted.

  She wanted to tell Arwen how she felt, experience at least one date with her, make love with her at least once, and finally be with the woman she loved for whatever time she had left. She hadn’t told Arwen how she felt yet, and the one time she’d gotten up the courage, Iro had joined their booth. Now, Zara was out on a walk by her apartment because she couldn’t just sit around, watching TV or scrolling through social media, thinking about Arwen and Iro on their date. She needed fresh air and to try to figure out what to do.

  Then, she saw them. They were standing outside the vegan restaurant that Zara wanted to take Arwen to, but every time she had tried to make a reservation, she’d been told they were all booked out for the next six months. She might not even have six months now, and it no longer mattered because Arwen and Iro were there. They were kissing, and Zara’s heart plummeted because it was over. She’d missed her shot.

  “Hello,” someone said next to her.

  Zara turned around and saw a woman with long brown hair, pushed back from her pale face, staring at her.

  “Hello,” she replied. “Do you need directions or something?” she asked, thinking the woman was probably a tourist, even though this wasn’t a tourist part of town.

  “I do not,” she replied and held out her hand for Zara to shake. “My name is Cassia. And I can see you were staring at those two women over there.”

  “Oh, no. I was just… thinking of going to the restaurant. I’m hungry.”

  “Me too,” Cassia said. “For something other than food.”

  Zara wasn’t sure what she meant at first, but the woman’s eyebrow lifted, and she got it then.

  “Oh,” she said.

  “Is one of those women your girlfriend or something?” Cassia asked.

  “What? No. I–”

  “Are you single or otherwise up for a little fun?”

  “Yes. I mean, I’m single, but–”

  “A drink, perhaps?” Cassia asked. “To calm the nerves? What’s your name?”

  “Zara, but–”

  “Beautiful name. I would love to buy you a drink, Zara. There’s a bar at the end of this block.”

  “I should be getting home.”

  “I’m coming on too strong. I understand. I get that a lot. I thought maybe you’d be interested in a drink, and if you like me enough after that, a little fun. But if you’re not interested in the fun after, why not a free drink, at least?”

  Zara thought about it for a moment, turned back to see that Iro and Arwen were gone now, and decided that yes, she could use a little fun. And if it couldn’t be with the woman she loved, why not with a beautiful stranger who was clearly laying out what she wanted? Hell, Zara hadn’t had sex in a long time, and she hardly had enough energy to get through the workday right now. She wouldn’t have enough energy to have sex at all for much longer, and then, she’d be gone.

  “Yes, to the drink,” she said. “We’ll see about that other thing, though. I don’t know.”

  “Of course,” Cassia replied as if knowingly.

  Zara wanted to correct her assumption that the night would end how Cassia thought, but she honestly couldn’t.

  ◆◆◆

  “Now, she’s going on dates and making out with this woman she just met, and I’m sitting there trying to tell her how I feel, and I can’t. I waited too long.”

  “What makes you think they will last? It was a first date tonight, right? That hardly means they’ll fall in love and live happily ever after,” Cassia said.

  Zara took a sip of her gin and tonic and said, “I haven’t ever seen Arwen like this before. She’s smitten. They’re probably having sex right now, and I’ve lost my chance.”

  “Oh, I doubt that.” Cassia chuckled. “The woman I saw your Arwen with looked like one of those old-fashioned types. I bet she’ll want to wait a few dates before they do that. Is your Arwen a first-date kind of woman when it comes to sex?”

  “Not usually, but she seems hypnotized by this woman.”

  “Yes, I can believe that,” Cassia replied and took a drink of her white wine.

  Zara finished her third gin and tonic and watched Cassia’s hand go into the air, signaling to the waiter to bring her another.

  “Oh, I can’t. I’m already drunk,” Zara said.

  “You’re dealing with a broken heart. That’s allowed,” Cassia suggested. “Now, you said you’ve lost your chance, but once this fleeting attraction dies down, I’m sure you’ll be able to tell this Arwen how you feel.”

  “That’s the thing: I won’t be able to. I was being selfish, and this is my punishment. It’s karma. I have to watch her fall in love with someone else.”

  “What do you mean, you were being selfish?”

  “I was diagnosed with cancer. It’s bad. I probably won’t make it through the year; maybe even have only a few months to live. What is wrong with me that I chose now as the time to tell Arwen that I love her? What if she’d loved me back? I’d put her through hell for nothing. She’d be miserable. I’m her best friend. It’s already going to hurt her enough when I die. So, yes, I was selfish. This is my punishment. Seeing her kiss another woman like she never wants to kiss anyone else is a punishment.”

  “You’re dying?” Cassia asked as Zara’s fourth drink arrived in front of her, as if out of nowhere.

  “Yes. Still want to have sex with me? I’ll probably pass out after this drink and have no energy anyway.”

  “I would love to have sex with you, Zara. I have a car that can take us to my place. It’s just outside. I’ll even happily make it all about you. I love making a beautiful woman come, Zara. You would be no exception to that. If you want to down that drink and let me make you come all night long, that would be fine by me. If you want to leave without taking another sip so you can maybe fuck me, too, that would be even better.”

  “You certainly are direct, aren’t you?” Zara said, lifting the drink to her lips before she set it back down, now empty.

  “I’ve never seen any point in not speaking my wants and needs out loud. Why keep what I want from the woman I want it from, when I can simply tell her, and if she wants the same thing, we can have it.” Cassia paused and stared into Zara’s eyes. “And by how quickly you finished your drink, I do have my answer about what you want,” she said with a smirk. “I’ll get the check. Do not move.”

  Cassia stood up and walked to the bar, where she waved the bartender down and motioned for him to bring the check.

  Zara knew she was drunk. The slurring would start soon, if it hadn’t already, without her notice. She would need help getting to Cassia’s car, and Cassia was a stranger. She should not be going home with a stranger. She shouldn’t be having sex with a stranger. She planned to turn Cassia down and ask for a ride home only, but the image of Arwen holding on to Iro outside of the restaurant appeared in her mind, and when Cassia came over and told her that they were all paid up, Zara stood and knew she wouldn’t be asking for that ride home.

  CHAPTER 11

  Cassia

  Cassia had not planned this, but luck had been on her side recently, and Gigi and Miranda were now busy with two women. One of them was a little more eager to be involved with them than the one Cassia had turned, but that woman was starting to see the light, or rather, the darkness. Her anger was intoxicating to Cassia, and, at first, the woman had been angry with her because Cassia had turned her, but then, she had realized that she was a vampire now and could, therefore, enact vengeance on anyone she chose. Gigi and Miranda were showing her the ropes, and in time, they would probably all end up in bed together, but if not, Cassia didn’t care enough. She’d have Iro back by then, and none of them would even matter.

  Tonight hadn’t gone as planned, no, but luck had been on her side because she now knew the name of the woman Iro was infatuated with. She had that woman’s best friend in her bed now, and Zara’s pale skin, whether it be from sickness or not spending much time outside, was beautiful. Cassia wanted to lick her everywhere. She wanted to bite her everywhere, too, but this was an interesting developing situation, and she needed to be careful to use it to her advantage.

  “Tell me what you want, lover. It’s yours. Anything,” she said before she nipped at Zara’s bottom lip.

  “I’m not… very adventurous in the bedroom, so I don’t know what to ask for.”

  “What makes you think I am?” Cassia teased as she ran her hand down between Zara’s breasts.

  “It just seems like you would be.”

  “Well, you’re not wrong, I suppose. But I’d like to do whatever you want tonight, give you anything. So, tell me.”

  “I guess just the usual,” Zara replied.

  Cassia smirked down at her, wanting to laugh, but she held it in.

  “You want me inside?”

  “Yes.”

  “With what?”

  “Fingers.”

  “And?”

  “And that’s it?” Zara asked more than told her.

  “You don’t want my mouth on you?”

  “Oh,” Zara said. “Yes. It’s been forever.”

  “Well, let’s start by changing that, then, shall we?” Cassia kissed down Zara’s body until she arrived between her thighs. “Tell me what you like. Sucking? Licking? Biting?”

  “Biting? No,” Zara said.

  Cassia smirked again and licked her.

  “So wet for me already,” she noted. “More?” she asked before licking her lips.

  “Oh, yes,” Zara replied.

  “Would you like to pretend I’m Arwen?”

  “What?” Zara asked.

  Cassia looked up at her and said, “You won’t offend me if you close your eyes and picture her doing this. You can even yell her name out when you come. I won’t mind. I’ll take no offense, I promise.”

  She licked her harder.

  “God,” Zara let out. “It’s been so long.”

  “Then, call me Arwen and tell me what you want,” Cassia replied.

  “I can’t. That’s weird.”

  “Zara, love, this is two strangers fucking. We’re not going to fall in love now, are we?”

  “No.”

  “Then, pretend I’m the woman you’d rather be with and tell me what you want. I’ll deliver, I promise.”

  Cassia lowered her head and waited.

  “Fuck. This is crazy, but… Please, Arwen, suck on my clit and make me come?” Zara asked more than said.

  Cassia smiled and replied, “Yes, baby. Happily.”

  She sucked on Zara’s clit, finding her taste to be delicious and wanting more, and hovered her fingers at Zara’s entrance, waiting for her next command.

  “God, Arwen! Yes! Don’t stop.”

  Zara wasn’t getting the hint, clearly, so Cassia swirled her finger around a little.

  “Oh, yes! Inside. Please.”

  Cassia sucked and pushed inside her with two fingers, grunting when Zara came way too soon. She’d been planning on doing this for a while, working the woman up before taking her over the edge to prolong her pleasure for what she’d planned next, but Zara had come already, unfortunately, so Cassia slowed and then ceased her sucks and thrusts.

  “Well?” she asked with a self-satisfying grin on her face.

  “That was so good,” Zara said, still with her eyes closed. “Thank you.”

  “It was my pleasure. I’ll do that again in a few minutes, if you want, but I wonder if you’d mind helping me out before then.”

  “Oh, yeah. Of course,” Zara replied, opening her eyes. “What do you want?”

  “I’d love to ride your face.”

  When Zara nodded in response, Cassia moved until her pussy was over Zara’s face. She had no idea if this woman, who was clearly unwell, had the energy to make her come, but she was willing to give her a try. If she was left wanting after, she could either finish herself or stroll down the hall, find Gigi and Miranda doing whatever they were doing, and join in.

  She pulled Zara’s face to herself and waited. Zara licked hesitantly at first, as if she’d never tasted pussy before. Cassia wanted to ask if she had, but finally, Zara’s tongue stroked her in that way she liked.

  “Yes, sweetheart. That’s perfect. Just like that,” Cassia encouraged. “Pretend I’m your sweet Arwen. Taste me how you’d taste her.”

  Zara moaned and started sucking. Cassia put one of her hands against the wall to hold herself up and stared down at the woman beneath her.

  “Yes. Like that. Make me come. I want to come in your mouth, baby. Make Arwen come so hard.” Cassia rocked against Zara’s face and decided that if this worked out how she wanted, she could use more nights with Zara, whatever her last name was. “Yes! Fuck! I’m coming. Suck. Harder. Yes! Like that.” She came and felt her juices leave her body and probably coat Zara’s chin, which was just how she wanted it. “Yes, baby.” She slowed her rocking hips. “Make me come down before you take me again. Yes, like that. Nice and slow now.”

  Zara continued sucking on her clit, and when Cassia was finally done, she moved off Zara and lay next to her, watching Zara wipe her chin.

  “You are very good at that,” Cassia told her. “If you’re up for it, I’d love your mouth on me again.”

  “You mean another night?”

  “I meant tonight. But, maybe, yes.”

  “I can’t really plan anything right now. I hope you understand.”

  “Can I tell you something?”

  “Sure,” Zara said.

  “It’s about why I was there tonight; why I noticed you staring at Arwen and her date.”

  “Oh.”

  “Iro, the woman Arwen was with, is actually my wife.”

  “Your what?” Zara asked, and her eyes went wide.

  “Don’t worry; Iro is not cheating on me, and I didn’t just cheat on her. We have an open relationship at times.”

  “At times? What does that mean?”

  “Well, Iro and I have been together for a very long time, Zara.”

  “How long? She’s in her thirties, at most.”

  “Centuries,” Cassia said.

  “I’m sorry; what did you say?”

  “I’m going to tell you something that you won’t believe. Then, I’ll show you, and you’ll want to run, but I implore you, don’t run. I want to offer you something, a gift that I think you’ll want.”