“Gott, I don’t want another woman!” he said out loud. That was a pure, honest fact! And he wasn’t hiding the truth from Gott. Gott knew his rebellious, wandering heart.

  A cow mooed at him in response, and the herd plodded over to check out the new food.

  Somehow, out in the field he felt closer to Gott—a little like David in the Psalms. Out here, he could see the depth of meaning behind the words “The Lord is my shepherd.” Perhaps it was in a field like this one that David had first sung his song about Gott’s providence.

  But Tabitha was not available. She couldn’t marry again. He was feeling far too much for her, and it was getting out of control. He wanted to do the right thing, but his heart kept yearning toward her.

  “Gott, sweep her out of my heart,” he prayed aloud. “Take away these feelings for the wrong woman. Help me to see clearly to find a proper wife, a marriage partner that I can grow old with. Please, Gott, just take away these feelings. Please.”

  He waited, wondering if Gott would answer like a thunderbolt. But there was nothing. Just the mooing of a cow for her calf and a little leggy newborn that went running in circles. Jonas rubbed his hand over the back of his neck.

  He pulled the matchmaker’s letter out of his pocket and opened it once more. There were three eligible women—all who would be sweet, moral, and wonderful, he was sure.

  He did want to be loved. He did want someone to care when he got home, to cook him a meal, to tell him about her day. Someone to give him sweet kisses, and he’d laugh at her jokes. He wanted a woman to provide for and love. He wanted to parent a houseful of kinner with a sweet wife at his side. And maybe when he imagined that woman, he was thinking about Tabitha Schrock, but he’d best change that now, because Tabitha could not fill that role.

  Sometimes a man had to simply take a step forward and do the right thing. The right thing didn’t always feel good. Sometimes it downright hurt, but Gott always blessed a man when he had the bravery to do it. So he looked down at the little list of women the matchmaker had provided, and this time he changed his prayer.

  “Gott, lead me to the right woman,” he prayed. “I’m ready to start looking for a wife.” It couldn’t be Tabitha, and Jonas would have to be okay with that.

  He was ready to face the pain of a severed friendship and the uncertainty of a new relationship. It was time.

  “. . . he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”

  If Jonas just kept moving forward in the right direction, his heart would catch up.

  Wouldn’t it?

  After Ken had driven off, Danny stood on the beach looking out at the lake for a long time, his emotions tumbling around inside of him. A family of geese paddled in a line, the babies honking at their mother. The scene was much more peaceful than his heart. So much had happened over the last few weeks, and this story about Mose Peachy’s adoption still had him turned upside down. No one expected these things to happen in their own community.

  But under the shock of it all, he had a certainty that buoyed him up, and he finally had words for it. He’d been wondering how to explain the complexity of his feelings for Beth Peachy, and it finally fell together in his head. He loved her.

  It wasn’t just attraction or flirtation. It wasn’t a hope or dream. It was something more basic, more fundamental. He loved her, and that wasn’t going to just go away. He wasn’t going to get over her. She wasn’t going to stop being a part of his very foundation.

  He stood there on the beach, biting his bottom lip, his brain spinning. There was a bedrock inside of Danny that pointed him in the right direction, and it was pointing to Beth. Even if she was a risk.

  “What’s going on?” Zach called from the doorway of the house.

  Danny turned back. He knew what he had to do. “I’ll explain in a bit. I’ll be back.”

  The walk back down the path was faster than the walk home, and Danny even broke into a jog a couple of times. The lake sparkled in the afternoon sunlight, and he looked over that wide expanse of water that had separated him from Beth, that had guarded secrets, and that had cradled his own adolescent anticipation for the next summer’s visit with the girl who filled his heart.

  Gott, guide me, he prayed.

  Beth came outside as his shoes hit the pebbles of their little stretch of beach, and she shaded her eyes.

  “Is everything okay?” she called.

  He saw Iris kneeling in the garden, picking small zucchinis that she put in a bucket, Goldie lying on the grass in the shade of a tree. Iris looked up at him questioningly.

  “Hi, Iris,” Danny said. “I just wanted to talk to Beth a bit, if that’s okay.”

  “Of course, dear,” Iris said. “Is Kenneth all right? Beth said you walked him back.”

  So Iris was back in the present.

  “Yah, Iris, he is. He wants to visit again.”

  “That would be nice,” Iris replied.

  Beth crossed the lawn, and they moved together toward the beach and a little bit of privacy. Beth looked back at her grandmother a couple of times, and when she was satisfied the woman was fine, she turned her full attention to Danny.

  “I’m no good at writing letters, Beth,” Danny said. “I could try again, but I still wouldn’t do justice to what I’m feeling.”

  Beth blinked at him. “What?”

  “Beth . . .” And now that she was in front of him, looking up into his face with that wide, warm gaze, he found himself floundering for the right words. He swallowed. “I can’t say it in a flowery way. I can just say what I’m feeling. And I love you.”

  “You do?”

  “It’s not the kind of love that turns into pretty letters. It’s the kind that puts some muscle into chopping wood, if I knew that wood was going into your stove. It’s the kind that drives you into town, just to get some time with you. It’s the kind that walks over here twice a day just to hear what you’re thinking about. Beth, I love you. It’s not reasonable. It’s just a fact, and I know we said this wouldn’t work, but what if I love you with all of your questions intact? What if I loved you even if you questioned some traditions? I can handle that, so long as you never question what I feel for you.”

  Beth just stared at him, and in those heartbeats of silence, he couldn’t think of anything else to say, so he took her face between his two hands and lowered his lips over hers. That seemed to say things better anyway. She sank against his chest, and when she pulled back, she whispered, “I love you too.”

  “Yah?” he asked hopefully.

  She nodded. “Yah. I don’t want to explore beyond the fence anymore. I’ve seen what my daet gave me when he raised us Amish. He gave us the best he could. My family heritage isn’t out there with the Englisch. My family heritage is the one Daet chose for me—the one he was loyal to. Meeting Ken opened my eyes to a few things. Daet chose this life, and I’m choosing it too. I won’t always agree with everything, but if you’re willing to talk it all out with me, I can make a life while remaining Amish.”

  “I’m so glad.” Danny swallowed. “And maybe the bishop will let you swim. When the story gets out about your daet, and when they consider the drownings, maybe teaching people to swim will make sense to the leadership.”

  “Do you think it will?” she asked.

  “It makes sense to me.”

  She smiled then. “And you’re very traditional.”

  Yah, he was. But their traditions were supposed to serve the community, not the other way around.

  “Because this is the thing,” he went on. “We talked before about courting and all that . . . but the truth of the matter is, I’ve loved you for years. I don’t want to discuss courting.” Her face fell, and he hurried on. “I just want to marry you, Beth. That’s what it boils down to. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. No more time away.”

  He looked down at her—her faint freckles across her nose, the pinkness of her lips, her long lashes, and the frank expression on her upturned face.

  “Yah,” she whispered.

  “Wait.” Was she saying what he thought she was saying?

  “I’ll marry you, Danny.” Beth nodded excitedly. “I know I’ll have to get baptized, and I know we’ll have to spend some time courting, but yah. Danny, I want you to be chopping wood for me, all right?”

  “I can try and write you a love letter,” he said with a low laugh.

  “Don’t bother.” A grin tipped up her lips. “You’re better this way anyway.”

  “What about your grandmother?” he asked. “Is she going to live with your mamm?”

  She nodded. “That’s the plan. Maybe Mamm will agree to put off selling Mammi’s house if you and I were to move into it.”

  “And I can open my stall in the Amish Market. I knew I needed to get my own business rolling, and now I know why.”

  “It sounds like we have a future all mapped out,” she said, and she smiled up at him.

  Danny gathered her up into another kiss, but Goldie’s cold nose interrupted them. He looked over to see Iris staring at them with eyes wide and a hand in front of her mouth.

  “Mammi,” Beth said, “can you keep a secret?”

  “I doubt it,” Mammi said.

  “Well, you can do your best.” Beth looked up at Danny once more with a sparkle in her eyes. He wanted her to stay as happy as she was in this moment, and he’d do everything he could to make that happen. “We’re getting married.”

  Danny and Beth walked together toward Iris, Goldie padding along next to them.

  And Danny felt like everything had settled into place—his heart beating with the same rhythm of the waves that lapped the shore behind him. She loved him, and he loved her, and he couldn’t wait to make her his wife and set about chopping that wood for the woman who filled his heart.

  Epilogue

  Beth Peachy put a cardboard box in the center of the kitchen table. Mammi had asked her to bring it upstairs, and Beth was curious about what was inside, but Mammi had ordered her not to peek. So she hadn’t. Mammi was in a good place right now, and it was nice to enjoy her grandmother’s good days.

  Danny was busy getting his stall set up at the Amish Market. He’d be selling wood carvings, handcrafts, and Amish-made toys for kinner. The toys would be a first for the market, and he was certain they’d sell well. Beth hoped they did, because they had a wedding coming up in five weeks. It was rushed—she’d admit that. But in other ways, her and Danny’s wedding had been a long time coming.

  The church leadership were still discussing the issue of swimming lessons in the community, but considering that Beth had saved two lives in Friesen Lake since her arrival, they had agreed that she could swim so long as she used her modest swim dress and didn’t do so in mixed company. It was a start, but Beth was hoping to convince them to let her teach some girls to swim too. It was a matter of safety.

  Ken had come to visit this afternoon, and he now sat opposite Mammi, a generous slab of cherry pie in front of him. He’d come to visit once a week since that first time, and every time he came, he brought a little gift—flowers, a box of tea, a bag of oranges—for Mammi. Today, Ken had brought a package of chocolate chip cookies.

  “These are some of Mose’s playthings,” Mammi said, pulling a baseball mitt and a ball from the box. “He loved playing baseball with the boys.”

  Toys? Beth looked at her grandmother in surprise. After all the talk about Amish toys around here lately for Danny’s stall, she hadn’t thought to ask after her daet’s. Ken reached into the box and pulled out a wooden horse.

  “My cousin carved that for him,” Mammi said. “And this is the matching buggy. It’s a little broken now, but it was too fragile for a boy his age anyway.”

  Ken handed the buggy over to Beth, and she turned the carefully carved toy over in her hands. The spokes in the wheels, the axles—they were all perfectly carved and polished to a shine. One axle was broken, though, and so was one shaft.

  “Have you seen that before?” Ken asked her.

  “Nee, this is the first I’ve seen it.” The buggy was well made, and she could imagine her father as a child playing with it, learning the Amish ways with toys. The carved horse was in better shape.

  “He was lucky to have you, Iris,” Ken said. “I had video games and Tonka trucks, but I didn’t have what Nelson—I mean what Mose had with you.”

  “I’m glad that Gott sent you to find me,” Mammi said. “I’d been praying for some way to make my mistakes right. And Gott sent me you.”

  “You didn’t make any mistakes, ma’am,” Ken said. “You saved his life.”

  “I lied, dear.”

  “You saved his life.”

  “Well . . .” Mammi’s cheeks pinked. “I can meet my Maker with a clean conscience now. No secrets, Kenneth. They eat you up from the inside. Tell the truth loud and clear. It heals the soul.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “We usually don’t call people ma’am here,” she reminded him. “In fact, it sounds just like our word for mother—mamm.”

  “Maybe it fits either way, then,” Ken said. “If you don’t mind.”

  “Oh, Kenneth.” Mammi reached over and squeezed his arm. “I think I like it after all.” She was silent for a moment. “I should have looked for you.”

  “And ruin Mose’s chance at this life?” Ken shook his head. “You made the hard choice, but it was the right one. I was okay.”

  “Are you really okay?” Beth asked. “We worry about you sometimes. You’ve become part of our family, so we think we have the right.”

  Ken shot Beth a grin. She liked that he understood her humor, and he’d quickly started to feel like an uncle, albeit a very Englisch one.

  “I really am okay,” he said. “I’m much better now that I’ve met you.” He turned back to Mammi. “I read what you asked me to read.”

  Mammi had asked him to read the Book of Matthew, and Beth was surprised that Ken had agreed. Mammi had taken Ken’s Christian education on as a personal duty. Any boy of hers would know his Bible, and she was treating Ken just like her own.

  “Good,” Mammi said. “What did you think?”

  “I think that Jesus shouldn’t have let them kill him,” Ken said. “The Pharisees were just jealous of his popularity with the people. That was all. And he could have stopped them—that’s what I think.”

  “He could have, but he had to open heaven’s door,” Mammi said, then she was silent for a moment. “Kenneth, dear, you took risks for Mose because you loved him. We’ll do an awful lot for the people we love. How much more would Gott?”

  They talked over that pie . . . deep thoughts, deeper questions, and a love that spread over the foibles and mistakes. Beth sat there at the kitchen table, watching as Mammi and Ken discussed theological issues and formed a deep and lasting bond between the two of them. Mammi was helping Ken, but Ken was helping Mammi too. Beth could tell that they were healing each other’s emotional wounds together.

  Beth got to watch firsthand as Gott redeemed lies, deceptions, and best efforts. Gott was still here, working through their muddling and errors, getting Daet’s foster brother into a home where Gott’s presence filled up the cracks and crevices.

  When they’d finished half a pie between them and their talk was winding down, Ken pushed back his chair.

  “I should get going, Iris,” Ken said.

  “Can I pray for you first, Kenneth?” Mammi asked. “I used to pray for Mose before he left home, and then for Mose and his family after that. It would be a comfort if you’d let me.”

  “Okay,” Ken said with a shrug.

  “Close your eyes, dear,” she said softly.

  Ken smiled affectionately, but he obeyed, and Beth bowed her head as well.

  “Herr Gott,” she prayed, shutting her eyes. “Protect Kenneth. Guide him, bless him, open his eyes, and show him what he needs to see. Send angels to protect him, and put your hand on his shoulder. Save him in your kingdom, Herr Gott. Amen.”

  As the prayer ended, the side door opened and Danny came in. He stopped short when he saw that they had been praying. Beth slipped away to meet her fiancé.

  “Are you done for the day?” Beth asked.

  “Yah, at the market I am. I need to help Daet still, though.” Then he looked past Beth to the toys on the kitchen table. “Is that a wooden buggy?”

  “It used to be my father’s,” Beth said. “Maybe you could copy it—make some for your shop.”

  “You read my mind.” Danny grinned and gave her a peck on the lips. It was as far as he’d go with other people around, but she knew how much Danny loved her, and in a few short weeks, she and Danny would be moving into this house together as husband and wife.

  Ken and Mammi finished their farewells, and Ken gave Danny a friendly nod as he came to the door.

  “I’ll see you later, ma’am,” Ken said to Mammi.

  Always ma’am. Or maybe he had meant the Amish mamm this time?

  “Come again soon!” Mammi called, and the tall, gangly man headed out the door toward his truck.

  “Hello, Daniel dear,” Mammi said, turning to Danny. “Would you like some pie?”

  Beth looked up at her handsome fiancé, and she felt a rush of love. With the truth finally out in the open, they’d grown closer as a family, and even made space for Ken and Danny in the middle of it all. The truth had set them all free, and with that freedom, Beth had rediscovered home.

  “I’d love some pie,” Danny said, and he gave Beth’s hand a squeeze.

  Five weeks and counting. Beth couldn’t wait to take her vows before Gott and her community and become Danny’s wife.

  Discussion Questions

  1. How do you think that family stories shape a family? How do they shape the members of that family? How much do you think a family’s history matters?

  2. Do you have any family stories that have been passed down through generations? How have those stories shaped you?

  3. Danny’s brother left the Amish faith, and he has some good arguments for why he wants to live a non-Amish life. Which of his arguments did you agree with personally? Which did you disagree with?