“Killing the Knives would fix everything,” she said. “And we will.” She turned to Morco again. “What shall we do?”

  Morco didn’t seem to have an answer because he sat in silence.

  “You’re Chief of the Obsidians, King of Stonework. The decision lies with you.” When she spoke to her son, it was full of reverence. Like she recognized her son as a man rather than the boy she raised, trusted his leadership and how far it’d taken them thus far.

  He continued to rub his palms together, his mind so deeply retreated it seemed like his mother and I weren’t even there anymore. After a moment, he sat back against the chair, his muscular thighs apart, his heavy shoulders drooping under an invisible weight. “We stay and prepare. With the few men we have left, we only have one shot to succeed. Most of the mothers are so pregnant that a long journey would compromise their health, and if they give birth on the way, that could have dire consequences. There’s no way to know where the apricum will travel when it moves, and as far as I’m concerned, it has an equal chance of traveling anywhere—or remain in place for the next thirty years.” He stared at his mother like he expected her to disagree. “When we’re ready, we’ll return to Stonework. We’ll prepare for battle, lay down lethal traps to reduce their army before they arrive, and from an advantage, we’ll make our final stand.”

  His mother was quiet before she gave a slight nod. “The island is the safest location we’ve found through this journey. Hopefully it remains that way until we’re ready.”

  13

  MORCO

  I walked her to her cabin near the Gathering. My cabin was closer to the Elders, secluded and free of the noise of conversation. If hers was loud and kept her up late or woke her up early, she never complained.

  The glow of the fire became brighter as we approached her front door. My mind was heavy with our conversation, stained with the memory of Hanne’s despair.

  She opened the door then turned back to me, seeing the way I stopped on the threshold. “Do—do you want to come in?”

  She said she’d never done this before, and neither had I. The first time I had been with a woman had been her first time too. Every interaction after that had been with an experienced partner. I didn’t know how to handle something so delicate when I was the opposite of delicate.

  I nodded and followed her inside.

  It was dark in the cabin, so I tossed a few logs on the rocks and lit the flames, bringing the room into a gentle glow. The corners were illuminated, and the light was golden and warm. She had a small table with two chairs, so I took a seat.

  She sat across from me, her fair face lit by the fire, little shadows under her prominent cheekbones. An even smaller shadow was visible under her bottom lip. And her eyes…were indescribable.

  I’d never seen a flame rival her fire. Never seen a woman challenge her beauty.

  When she couldn’t take my stare any longer, she flicked her eyes away for a respite.

  The moment she’d said she was mine, she’d condemned herself to my intensity, so I refused to restrain it.

  Her eyes found mine again, gentle in sympathy and strong with courage. “I’m sorry…”

  Some days were harder than others—but always hard, nonetheless. “I know.”

  “When did that happen?”

  “Fifteen years ago.”

  Her eyes narrowed slightly. “You must have been a boy.”

  “Not a boy, but not yet a man.”

  “How old?”

  “Thirteen.”

  Understanding flashed across her eyes. “That means you’re twenty-eight. I knew you were older, but I didn’t know by how much.”

  I suspected she was younger than me, but I didn’t expect her to be so young that my age seemed surprising. “And you?”

  “Twenty-two.”

  “How old was your husband?”

  There was a noticeable flinch in her eyes, a subtle repulsion at the mention of him. “In his fifties.”

  Far too old to marry someone so young. “Do you accept my age?”

  “It doesn’t bother me.” Her eyes didn’t show disappointment, and the surprise already passed. She looked at me with that same softness, dropping every form of a mask that she possessed. She was open with me, vulnerable and transparent, something I’d never seen her do in anyone else’s presence. I loved her courage, but I also loved it when she didn’t need to be brave because she was with me. “Can—can I ask what happened?”

  “I think it’s obvious what happened.”

  “I mean…how and why.”

  My mind hadn’t revisited that moment since it had happened. It was one of the reasons I hated to look upon my mother. Because I was forced to remember. Forced to relive it. Forced to acknowledge my part in it. “I will tell you someday—but not today.”

  She accepted my resistance instead of trying to push through it. “Okay.”

  A heavy silence passed between us, packed with a tension I’d never experienced with another person. It was so potent, it almost felt hostile, like we were enemies rather than…what I wanted to be.

  She cleared her throat, like she felt it too. “It’ll take time to make enough bows and arrows for everyone. If we decide to travel to Stonework, we’ll fare far better with those weapons than without. We’ve seen the consequences of close combat.” She glanced down at my arm. “And I’ll return to the apricum to see what I can find.”

  None of the women had ever braved such missions. Not a single one had left the island since we’d come to inhabit it years ago. Caius was the one who had found it on a whim. It offered us natural protection with the surrounding water. “I would go in your stead if I could.”

  She wore a sad smile. “I know.”

  I watched the way her eyes changed with her emotions. I couldn’t help but wonder how she would look in the throes of passion underneath me, her nails deep into my back, riding that crescendo for the first time.

  “When I came close to one of the Knives at the apricum…I was scared. They’re larger than any man I’ve ever seen in my life. I didn’t see his front, just his back, but…I understood its power. Do you know how many there are?”

  My desire was blown out like a low-burning candle. “At least a thousand. Probably closer to fifteen hundred. But that number could be inaccurate because every interaction we’ve had with them has been quick and…traumatizing.”

  Sadness shone in her eyes. “And how many are there of us?”

  “Two hundred able-bodied fighters—and that’s including women.”

  Her hope was snuffed out as quickly as my desire.

  I didn’t judge her for questioning the odds, for choosing to spend what life she had left in the dark rather than fighting in the light.

  But I didn’t have that option. “I know the battle will claim my life, but I have to fight it anyway.”

  Her eyes gently shifted back and forth between mine, her blue gaze full of layered emotion. Then she pulled her knees to her chest and hooked her arms around her legs, petite enough to fit entirely on the chair. “I almost lost you once. I don’t want to do that again.”

  “My mind is set.” I wouldn’t change it, even for her.

  “I would never ask you to,” she said. “But we’ll need to prepare for this fight differently. Because bows and arrows and poison and the fighting advantage won’t be enough. We need more people.”

  “There are none. And if we wait for our population to match the size of theirs, we’ll probably all be dead by then anyway. Famine. Sickness. An attack.”

  “You said other things live down here…like goblins.”

  “Yes.”

  “What else?”

  “We call them sciwards. Insect-like creatures with razor-sharp appendages.”

  “How big are they?”

  “Enormous. The equivalent of six grown men. They’re quick too. We avoid them at all costs. They live to the west, near the caves.”

  She took a moment to digest that, like she could picture something she’d never seen. “Sounds like a praying mantis, only on a bigger scale.”

  I didn’t know what that was but didn’t say so.

  “Have you interacted with the goblins before?”

  “They’re a rare encounter. We suspect they live in the walls of the chasm.”

  “How many are there?”

  “That’s unknown.”

  “So, you’ve interacted with them, but you aren’t enemies?”

  “It seems like they keep to themselves,” I said. “We don’t compete for resources.”

  “Then that would mean they don’t need the light.”

  “I suppose.”

  “Have you conversed with them?”

  I tilted my head, surprised that she was so interested in a creature that had ears like bat wings, yellow eyes, and leathery skin. “Explain your interest, Hanne.”

  “I said you need more people, Morco.”

  I cocked my eyebrow. “Goblins aren’t people.”

  “We can’t be picky—not if we want to win.”

  My instinct was to shut down the idea because it was ludicrous, but I didn’t because of the source of the suggestion. Hanne had only delivered good ideas since she’d arrived here. She’d earned my respect—and my consideration. “I’ve never spoken with a goblin. The Elders may recall a conversation from the past. They don’t seem hostile to us, but that doesn’t mean they would be interested in our cause.”

  “We could make them interested. Perhaps there’s something we could offer them, something they want.”

  “Since we already have nothing, I can’t imagine what that might be.”

  “We won’t know until we ask,” she said. “Where are they?”

  “The caves—where the sciwards are.”

  Her face paled slightly, like she was more afraid of those than the Knives. “If they reside in such proximity to one another, then perhaps there’s some kind of alliance there. Or the goblins know how to repel them.”

  “Or they just never leave the cave.”

  “But you’ve seen them, so they must leave for a reason.”

  “This all seems farfetched to me.”

  “Just as farfetched as winning a battle against fifteen hundred monsters that are bigger and taller than all of us.” Her voice strengthened as she pressed her opinions, like she was as invested in this battle as I was, when she didn’t have the same vengeance in her heart.

  I wanted to win this battle more than anything, so I was willing to consider her ideas. “I’ll speak to the Elders tomorrow. Their counsel could be helpful.”

  “We need to explore all options. It’s possible that the goblins hate the Knives as much as we do. Let’s hope that’s the case.”

  I’d carried the burden of leadership alone since my mother had lost her sight. I became a man when I was still a boy. Life had been hard up until that moment, but it was never the same afterward. For the first time, I shared that load with someone else, someone who offered immense contribution. I’d never met such a woman, and that made me burn hotter.

  Her passion had faded in the silence. “Does your father still live?”

  Another story I’d rather not tell. “No.”

  She read my look and let the subject dissolve in the air between us.

  It was late and time to leave her cabin, but whenever I was with her, I didn’t want to go. With every conversation, I was more interested in her heart. And with every stare…I was more interested in her flesh too. “Tell me about the surface.”

  Her eyes stilled as she absorbed the question. She seemed to pity me for asking it. “The sunlight is similar to the apricum, but it’s brighter and warm when it touches your skin. The sky is blue⁠—”

  “Like the color of your eyes?”

  “No. Much lighter, like…” She struggled to find a comparison and fell silent when she failed. “The air moves, so the outside always feels fresh. Only indoors does it feel stagnant, like it does down here. The lands of my kingdom are beautiful, flowers in bloom in the valleys everywhere, the castle perched on a low mountain. There are many things I can share, but they’re impossible to describe when this is all you’ve known.”

  “What do you love most about it?”

  She considered the question carefully. “The sunsets. My father and I used to watch them together on warm summer nights. The pastries the chefs used to make every morning, the croissants and scones. The song of birds on a spring morning.” Her eyes glazed over like she had been transported elsewhere. “The gardens at the castle…all the flowers and bushes and trees.” Her mind continued to drift in the waters of the past before it sharpened and came back to me.

  I’d only felt gratitude that she’d ended up here, and for the first time, I felt pity. She’d lived a life of luxury in a beautiful castle, with wealth and power, her father the king. I suddenly felt inadequate, because I couldn’t give her those things. “I’m sorry that you’re here.” She’d been a blessing to me, but this place would always be a curse to her.

  Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, either in confusion or surprise at what I’d said. Then they softened in a tone of sadness. “I’m not.”

  The flush of heat was instantaneous, making me draw an involuntary breath I didn’t need when she knocked the wind out of me. My hands ached with desperation, and my mouth suddenly felt numb without her kiss to make it burn. I was even more aware of the swell of her breasts under her clothing, the toned shape of her legs in her trousers. The girls had sewn her better clothes once she’d been accepted, and the outline of her curves had driven me crazy ever since.

  I’d never wanted a woman more, and I knew it was because I wanted more than her flesh, but her soul underneath. I wished I weren’t going to be her first so I didn’t have to handle this situation with such sensitivity, but I also yearned to be her first. “I should go.” I forced the words out of an uncooperative mouth, broke my gaze from hers because those eyes made me so volatile. Without waiting for her reaction, I left the chair and turned toward the door, trying to cut a connection that was harder than the stone of the fireplace.

  She left her chair and came up behind me. “Morco.”

  I kept my back to her, knowing whatever she was about to say would make this worse.

  “I want you to stay.”

  I clenched my eyes the way I clenched my fists, the most extravagant meal dangled in front of a starving wolf.

  She moved her hand to the back of my arm. I could feel her fingers flinch at the touch, as if she felt something when we made contact. Then she gently grabbed me, stroked my muscles with her fingertips. “The maids would sneak their lovers into their quarters. My father would do the same with his mistresses. Sometimes I would see lovers come into the garden at night to make love under the stars. I want that too…and I want it with you.”

  It was the first time in my life I felt bumps over my arms, and it wasn’t because I was cold. I turned back to her, my head tilted down to meet her gaze below. “As do I. But you’re pure and innocent, and it feels wrong to claim your lands in my name when I haven’t earned it.”

  “It’s not something you earn. It’s something you’re given, and I get to choose when to give it.”

  It was the most arousing moment of my life, and we were both fully clothed. But my honor bound me in place, my respect for her infallible.

  She must have seen the refusal in my eyes because she said, “You said you and Allegra were just fucking. Is that what you want with me? Is that the problem⁠—”

  “No.” I felt the features of my face tighten in insult. I was hurt by the accusation, but I knew she was just trying to understand my resistance, not comprehending my position in the matter, how delicate it was. “The opposite.”

  The hurt in her features wilted like the wet petals of a flower. “I still want you to stay.” A slow confidence crept into her stare, a surge of bravery that emerged when she wanted something with all her heart. Her eyes dropped to my chest, and she raised her hand before placing it over my heart. Her touch was light at first before she flattened her palm and applied pressure to feel my heart beat. She stared as the vibrations quickened against her palm, feeling the way she made my heart race. Her stare remained for nearly a minute before her eyes came back to me.

  My resistance waned, and I slid my hand deep into her soft hair and crushed my mouth to hers, listening to her gasp right before I took her breath. I squeezed her to me as my lips worshipped hers, as I felt our mouths move together like they’d known each other from years of acquaintance.

  She was quick to touch me, her arm circling my neck, her fingers deep in my hair. She was on her tiptoes to kiss me, her firm tits against my chest. She was the one to give me tongue first, her soft lips feeling mine after mine felt hers. She moaned quietly into my mouth as if a storm of pleasure already rushed through her.

  I gripped her tight ass through her trousers. I gently bit her bottom lip with my teeth before I let her go. I reached behind my shoulders and yanked my shirt forward over my head and let it fall to the floor.

  She hesitated as she stared at me, eyes taking me in with slightly parted lips, her breaths slowly elevating the longer she stared, like she’d never seen a man with his shirt off. She moved her hand to my chest, but instead of landing over my heart, she touched the center then slowly ran her fingers down, over my sternum, over the muscles of my stomach and the segments between, all the way down to the line of hair that disappeared beneath my trousers.

  I guided her back to the bed then pulled her boots off before I kicked off my own. I reached for her trousers and unbuttoned them, watching her reaction to my touch, seeing if she showed any sign of hesitation.

  I let the pants fall to her ankles and saw her standing in her underwear, thin gray cloth that stopped below her belly button. I moved my hand to her ass again, and I squeezed it as I kissed her once more.