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  Dedication

  To Carrie, who has encouraged my book journey from the moment she read my debut and who is one of the most book-loving people I know.

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Map

  Prologue

  Part 1: Of Matchmakers, Island Dwellers & Clark Gable Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Part 2: Of Shakespeare, Kisses & Shark Hats Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Part 3: Of Bookshops, Manor Houses & Being Brave Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Discussion Questions

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Acclaim for Pepper Basham

  Other Books by Pepper Basham

  Copyright

  Map

  Prologue

  Dear Reader,

  This is a cautionary tale.

  A tale of family, literary classics, podiatry, matchmaking, Shakespeare, and distance. Not exactly the sort of word grouping you may expect in a typical story, but some things aren’t meant to be . . . typical. For example, shark hats. Or maybe heartbreak-induced introversion. (All right, the introversion was already there, but the heartbreak certainly didn’t help.)

  But there are pairs of things that do go together wonderfully well, like chocolate and peanut butter, mountains and seas, books and romance . . . unless, the date is allergic to peanuts, the mountains and seas are a world apart, and the only romance the heroine has had any luck with has been fictional. (See previous note about introversion.)

  But two things that never go together well are family and . . . matchmaking, and that is the premise of this story.

  Sort of.

  And there are books.

  Lots of books.

  And a copious amount of talk about The Lord of the Rings with a swoony foreigner named Brodie. Who is almost perfect, until . . . he’s not as perfect.

  And a cliff house, but that’s for later.

  Anyway, I’ll let you discover how all those fit together—or don’t—for yourself.

  And good luck.

  Izzy

  PS: And just because Luke is always right doesn’t mean Luke is always right. I know of at least two times when he wasn’t, and both were about women.

  * * *

  From: Taugen en Compt

  In an attempt to bring more people to live among the beauties and vastness of The Skymar Islands, their majesties, King Aleksander and Queen Gabriella, along with the support of Taugen en Compt Houses of Parliament, are offering a substantial financial stipend for natives who encourage someone to relocate to any of the Skymarian Islands, whether by marriage, employment, adoption, or other means listed in the following attachment. Our islands are easily overlooked among the many larger countries surrounding us, but for those who wish to be a part of a vibrant community with varied landscapes, occupational diversity, and a quieter European life that combines our Scottish and Scandinavian cultures amicably, this is an excellent opportunity for resettling. Attached you will find a document outlining the financial remuneration, as well as an extensive list by which individuals may relocate under these specifications.

  Taigh, Hlem, en Trolach

  (Home, Faith, and Family)

  Part 1

  Of Matchmakers, Island Dwellers & Clark Gable

  Chapter 1

  From: Josephine Martin

  To: Izzy Edgewood

  Date: February 14

  Subject: Heart-to-Heart

  Izzy,

  You know I love you. I want to begin with that.

  Now, the only reason I’m emailing you instead of talking to you face-to-face is because I feel you won’t hear me out. And you have no choice this way because your love for words and your natural curiosity will force you to read my message.

  Since you do not seem to be as invested in your romantic future as you ought to be, I have decided, as your loving cousin, to help you pursue what we discussed last week at church. Before you gasp aloud, which I can practically hear all the way down Cherry Blossom Street, you need to understand that you have it all wrong. You think some Prince Charming is going to walk into your library and sweep you off your sneakered feet, but it doesn’t work that way in real life. Not nowadays. And certainly not for someone who spends more time with fictional humans than real ones. You are missing out, Izzy, and I can’t bear it. You are already thirty and not a date in sight.

  I must rescue you from yourself.

  I don’t say these things to hurt you, but to spur you into action instead of allowing you to keep hiding in your books. Heart-to-Heart is a wonderful online dating community recommended by several of the locals here, and I’ve taken the liberty of setting you up a profile. Currently your profile photo is Minnie Mouse, so unless you want the entire single dating world of Heart-to-Heart to think you’re a Disney Princess–loving high school student, you’d better hop right online and fix it. I feel certain there’s a book-loving man living relatively nearby waiting to speak bookish to you ’til death do you part. You just haven’t met yet. Here is your chance.

  Time is running out, dear Izzy.

  Your loving cousin,

  Josephine

  PS: And yes, you still have to love me because that’s what family does.

  PPS: Heroines usually are swept off their feet while wearing something much more alluring than sneakers. I just thought you ought to know.

  From: Izzy Edgewood

  To: Josephine Martin

  Date: February 14

  Subject: Betrayal

  Josephine,

  I have disowned you and will henceforth refer to you as Josie, both publicly and privately, until the day you die. And I promptly rewrote the horrid bio you set up for me. I am not a recluse. I take Samwise for walks in the park downtown daily, and sometimes we go on hikes in the mountains. I get a cup of takeout tea from Beans & Things every morning before arriving at the library, plus I attend church on a regular basis. And I do have friends! My regular conversational partners at Beans & Things are excellent company and, while sharing charming and humorous stories as well as upcoming weather patterns, they keep me apprised of local news.

  In addition to those facts of my habitual social interactions, I go to the movies with Penelope every time she’s home from school, which is once a month, and have lunch or a bike ride with Luke when he visits or I drive the hour to see him. So, as you can see, I am not, nor have I ever been, a recluse—except for my senior year of high school, but after such an awful perm, who can blame me? I love your mother, but her experiments with color and perms should never befall a high school girl. Ever. Especially one who was still trying to outgrow her pimple apocalypse.

  And, how could you even write in that horrid bio that I have a dozen gray hairs or more? Who does that? I haven’t found any, let alone a dozen, nor do I while away my hours weeping over sappy movies. I weep over excellent writing and greeting card commercials. Do you know me at all?

  I am perfectly satisfied with my quiet life, and though I won’t deny I’d love to meet someone special with whom I can enjoy long conversations and walks, I seriously doubt my “Prince Charming,” as you call him, will find his way onto an online dating community with a tacky caricature of Cupid as its logo. Once I figure out how to remove my profile from that embarrassing website, I plan to do so, but in the meantime, at least I’ve changed the profile picture and given a more accurate account of “the reclusive librarian” in your description. (I am inwardly cringing, I hope you know.)

  And, Josie, leave my love life alone.

  Sincerely,

  Irritated Izzy

  PS: Please thank your charming husband for sponsoring three tables at the annual library fundraiser. No one has ever purchased more than one, let alone three, and by our very first local podiatrist. He truly has a foothold in my heart (sneaker-fitted or not).

  PPS: With my rather disastrous romantic history, it’s no wonder I wear sneakers. Faster getaway.

  From: Josephine Martin

  To: Izzy Edgewood

  Date: February 14

  Subject: Reality check

  Izzy,

  If by “regular conversational partners” you mean the Farmer Four who get coffee every morning before going to their respective farms that they tend in their retirement, then it’s beyond time to broaden your friend group. Avis Dalton turned a hundred at least fifty years ago and I don’t think the other three are too far behind him.

  You need even more help than I realized! Do you even hear yourself?

  I will respond more later. Cleo just jumped across the kitchen and knocked over the cereal boxes again. Remind me why I’m the one
who had to keep Penelope’s cat? Are you really allergic to cats, Izzy? I have my doubts.

  Josephine

  PS: Patrick loves supporting the library and books, though he was a little surprised you did not have many in the category of footcare. I told him you’d make immediate additions upon his request.

  From: Penelope Edgewood

  To: Izzy Edgewood

  Date: February 15

  Subject: Firstborn drama

  Oh Izzy,

  I just heard about what my sister did with the whole dating site and I’m so sorry. On Valentine’s Day of all days in the world!! How could she! I’m sure you hoped you’d be able to get out of such sisterly bossiness since she’s not your biological sister, but I just think Josephine can’t help trying to fix everyone’s lives, whether they need fixing or not. She’s been trying to do it for years. Do you remember the parakeet we had growing up? He didn’t listen to a thing Josephine said and it nearly caused her to have a breakdown at ten years old. It’s a wonder she’s survived being a big sister to Luke all these years. I think she could have gone into burglary with her particular gift for intrusion. We studied about firstborns in my psychology class at school and Josephine fits the profile to a T. Except the list didn’t mention color-coordinating bedsheets and winter hats, but I took that to belong under the “structured” category.

  She opened an account for me, too, and I don’t have any trouble finding dates, so just imagine how bored she must be. If she sets an account up for Luke, too, can you imagine? He’ll break her computer. The last thing my brother wants right now is another romance, you know. One solid disaster is enough for anyone, and he still hasn’t gotten over it. (I considered sending him a link to the song “So Much Better” from Legally Blonde: The Musical as consolation, but I really don’t think Luke would have appreciated it.)

  I think men of true depth feel the sting of lost love the deepest of all. I read that once and felt the truth of it to the fiber of my soul. I really hope romantic catastrophes aren’t hereditary. Between you and Luke, I’m doomed.

  I suppose being happily married to a wonderfully indulgent man means Josephine must thrust her happiness on the rest of us. Once her babies are born, she’ll have something else to take up her life instead of meddling in ours.

  Twins! Can you imagine?!? That should keep her busy, if nothing will.

  I’m off to practice projection with Olivia. I really don’t know why I’m the one people are always asking to train them how to be loud on stage.

  Love,

  Penelope

  PS: I noticed you changed your profile photo, but Izzy, I wonder if you should choose something different. If you want to catch the eye of some would-be Mr. Right, maybe you should post a photo of a more well-recognized actress or something. That would be more culturally eye-catching. I doubt most people even know who that Éowyn person is from those strange Lord of the Rings movies, so seeing a woman with a sword might give the wrong impression. If you can’t think of something better, you could always post your own photo. I posted a glamorous photo of the young Julie Andrews as my profile picture, because I really don’t care about being culturally eye-catching if a Mr. Wonderful is classic enough to adore Julie Andrews. And you know how these dating sites work. It’s not usually the best idea to put your real photo on display. Safety and all that. But if I was going to put my real photo, I’d add the one where I’m wearing the green sweater you bought me two Christmases ago. It brings out the color of my eyes and is one of my favorites, though Luke says the tree behind me in the photo looks like it’s growing out of my head. He really doesn’t understand style and artistry at all. Brothers!

  From: Josephine Martin

  To: Izzy Edgewood

  Date: February 15

  Subject: JOSEPHINE!!

  Izzy,

  Do you hear yourself? You even type emails like an old person. “Henceforth”? “Perfectly satisfied”? “I weep over excellent writing”??? What are you doing with your life, my darling cousin? You should be thanking me for my attempt at an intervention.

  And, you do not date. I’m not sure why, when there are plenty of nice men I’ve introduced to you. If you continue to compare every possible male specimen to one of your book heroes, you will become as single as the most fictional spinster you can imagine.

  Spending time with my sister and brother does not count as a non-reclusive activity since they are your cousins. And the singles group at church has dwindled to such low numbers, they don’t count either. Small-town, eligible bachelors are snatched up too quickly to take your time, Izzy. Heart-to-Heart is the only option for you.

  And, for heaven’s sake, take down that profile photo at once. Though the actress is lovely, no man wants to see a woman wielding a sword at him. It does not give off the best romantic impression.

  And first impressions are vital. Especially online.

  Lovingly,

  Josephine . . . NOT Josie

  PS: Patrick has a friend coming into town next week that I think you should meet. He’s not a podiatrist, but he does have a promising profession: audiology. I’ve seen a photo of him and he has a lovely nose.

  * * *

  Heart-to-Heart

  Date: February 17

  Any woman who can carry a sword like that is the woman for me. Is that your most recent Halloween costume? I like cosplay too. I go extra on cosplay. I mean, if you’re not going to go all the way with the costume, you shouldn't even try, right? But yours is epic. What a mood! I can create an awesome Aradon, if you want to be a pair. Where do you live? Is your sword real?

  Tony

  * * *

  Heart-to-Heart

  Date: February 18

  Tony,

  I had to look up what the word cosplay means. That alone should tell you something about our compatibility.

  Izzy

  PS: A real sword is the only kind worth having. And I have no idea who Aradon is.

  * * *

  Heart-to-Heart

  Date: February 18

  I like your bio but am concerned about your profile photo. Do you support the use of weapons to solve conflicts?

  Paul

  * * *

  Heart-to-Heart

  Date: February 18

  Paul,

  Do well-honed words and a solid arsenal of glares count?

  Izzy

  From: Izzy Edgewood

  To: Josephine Martin

  Date: February 19

  Subject: I weep for your children

  Josie,

  What have you done to me?!? The only benefit of this online dating community is that I can think about my responses before I type them so I can say exactly what I want.

  Otherwise, it’s torture. What will your children think about this story when I tell it to them one day? They’ll be horrified at the antics of their mother.

  Izzy

  PS: The peach cobbler you made for Sunday lunch was amazing. I’d love the recipe.

  Text from Josephine to Izzy: I’ll give you the recipe if you stop calling me Josie.

  Izzy: Never mind. I’ll consult the library or Google for a recipe. Thanks anyway, Josie.

  * * *

  Heart-to-Heart

  Date: February 20

  Good riddance to the Witch-king of Angmar, is all I have to say.

  And I’m glad to see you’re on the mend after helping to save Middle-earth, but joining Heart-to-Heart? I find it difficult to believe things didn’t work out with Faramir, even though he had a tendency to look down on my countrymen at first, but that really couldn't be helped.

  He was my favorite character, apart from Samwise Gamgee.

  Brodie the Hobbit

  From: Izzy Edgewood

  To: Penelope Edgewood

  Date: February 20

  Subject: Hobbits and Heart-to-Heart

  Penelope,

  Someone messaged me on Heart-to-Heart, and he had no qualms about my sword.

  And he knew who Faramir was. I’m intrigued. I might message him back, but I’m not certain yet. He knows about The Lord of the Rings. That’s a definite plus in his favor. I wonder if he’s short? Or has hairy feet?