I refused to slow down, fucking her relentlessly. She met every savage thrust, doing everything she could to buck hard against me.

  “Come for me, Fallon. Let go. Just fucking let go.” My words were commanding and whether she was listening to me or not I couldn’t tell, but her body responded as if my demand had been met.

  “Oh. Oh. Oh. My. God.”

  I did so adore her scream, which was short lived as if the woman was embarrassed.

  Maybe I’d need to fuck her out in the open. I powered into her, switching the angle until she was issuing short, bursting moans while lolling her head. The second climax was just as powerful, but I wasn’t going to be able to hold back much longer.

  And I wasn’t finished with her yet.

  The moment she started to come down from the intense high, I pulled out, eyeing the tie above her head.

  “You’ve been a good little girl whether you believe it or not.”

  “To… hell… with you.” Her words were choked out, followed by a strangled laugh.

  “Naughty. Naughty.” With a single slip of my index finger, I managed to untie the knot. She slumped forward, planting both hands on the wall.

  “What’s wrong, big boy? Can’t take the heat?”

  My laugh echoed like her moans had done. “You will also learn to watch your mouth.” I pressed the tip of my cock against her asshole and she stiffened once again.

  She pushed back until her arms were locked straight. I cracked my hand against her bottom and slipped just the tip inside.

  Her entire body continued to shake, but she carried the same mischievous smile I’d been so attracted to since the beginning.

  Now she was trying to use it against me. As if I would be blindsided by her beauty. I pressed another inch inside until the tip hit the tight ring of muscle.

  She took a series of deep breaths, shifting from one foot to the other. Maybe she was making an offer. If so, it was one I couldn’t refuse.

  I thrust the remainder inside, hissing as soon as I did. Her asshole was tighter, her muscles clamping down like a tight vise. I slowly tossed my head back, allowing the beads of sweat to drip away.

  She was panting as heavily as I was and both our bodies were flushed from the heat of the shower. I had to take a few seconds to breathe, but she wasn’t interested in giving me any time to recover.

  She pushed hard against me, smacking her bottom against my skin.

  “What the fuck am I going to do with you?” My words didn’t matter. I would simply take what I wanted. The thought brought another smile to my face as I fucked her ass. I tried my best to be gentle with her, but her movements and soft mewls made that impossible.

  Within seconds we were both making animalistic sounds loud enough I began to wonder whether we could be heard from outside the cottage. I certainly could no longer hear the pelting rain.

  With her face tipped upward, we continued our dance of filth and sin, my cock filling her completely.

  The woman might not know me or what I was capable of. However, she did know how to carve a body into little pieces when she wanted to. There was a wild abandon between us, the longing to let go of the past as strong as my desire to consume every inch.

  As she squeezed her muscles again, I could take it no longer, erupting deep inside her sweet, tight ass.

  And for a few seconds, all the years of sadness and anger faded until this moment and this woman felt like home.

  CHAPTER 21

  Fallon

  “Who was she?” I’d held back on asking the question, almost terrified of the answer. I’d listened to what Jasmine had told me, instantly feeling as if I’d been used, but I’d learned valuable lessons from my father, even though I’d been so young when he’d died.

  My mother had shared his sage advice as a way of keeping his memory alive.

  One sentiment in particular came to mind. She’d reminded me to always double-check my source wherever possible when hearing unwanted or bad news. I’d never really been forced to remember the words until now. Thankfully, I’d followed my gut and everything I’d learned so far screamed that I’d been right.

  I’d sensed there was much more to Vissarian the moment I’d met him. Granted, when I’d discovered he was part of a powerful Russian Bratva I’d been leery, but his actions had spoken volumes.

  Every minute spent had been so amazing, freeing and telling. Then Jasmine’s alarming news. It was funny how in doing research on the man and his past, I’d caught the jadedness of so many who obviously didn’t like the man or his family very much. Wasn’t that the same as what happened with almost every highly successful business?

  When I’d tried to find anything about Vissarian’s wife, I’d come up on dead ends. Then a small article from over ten years before had caught my eye. It was a piece that I doubted many people had read and the only reason Jasmine knew was because she’d once dated a famous Jamaican soccer star.

  Who hadn’t she dated in her life?

  I sat on the outdoor couch with my feet curled under me holding a glass of wine. While I’d been allowed to grab a few things from my cottage, I remained in a shirt I’d snagged from his suitcase. The sleeves were rolled up and the buttons were mostly undone, which was why it was likely he was having a difficult time keeping his eyes off me.

  As if I was complaining.

  “What do you mean?” he asked. He’d been standing at the railing staring out at the ocean while the storm had continued for at least an hour. The man’s jaw was clenched and his expression was full of anger. He’d made a couple of phone calls while I’d tended to Bella, feeding her proper puppy food and pulling off tags from her collection of toys.

  Marveling at every one of them.

  Then there was the pretty pink collar and matching leash. Why was he trying so hard to show his good side?

  Guilt.

  He was feeling guilty about what happened. In his past. And maybe now. Although I wasn’t certain what he’d endured in his life that he’d need to feel guilty about. Especially with me.

  “You were involved with someone you cared about deeply.”

  His face registered no change in expression as he turned his head in my direction. Maybe he thought he could stare me down and make me forget what I’d asked.

  I wasn’t budging.

  Vissarian finally turned around, easing his butt against the railing. While he’d thrown on a pair of trousers, he was still shirtless. Since I could easily enjoy the view, he could continue staring and I’d be just fine. “She was my fiancée. For about ten minutes.”

  I sat up in the seat, already gripping the arm of the couch. “Why ten minutes? What happened?”

  His sigh was deep, rattling in his chest, completely full of personal agony.

  “You were right that my family being Bratva means that we’ve done some very bad things in my life. I won’t try and sugarcoat our pasts. Yes, we were family, but we were also a band of brothers, our soldiers pledging loyalty for their lives. We were all required to respect our Pakhan at all costs, protecting his life even if it meant dying in the process. There is a very strict code that we followed and all of us at the time wanted to do so.”

  I already had so many questions but didn’t want to interrupt him.

  He took a sip of his drink, taking a few seconds to gaze at Bella. I had a feeling she grounded him somehow. “Yes, we were involved in criminal activity for many years. Illegal drugs. Extortion. Blackmail. Even arms deals. That was a way of life and all that my father and uncle knew when they brought their family here from Moscow when I was a young boy. But slowly over the years, the old ways of violence didn’t hold the same appeal. At least not for the younger generation.” He half laughed.

  “So you’re perfectly legitimate now?”

  He tried to throw me a grin, but the pain was raw. “Well, mostly. The businesses are and we don’t handle drugs or guns any longer, but I can’t lie and tell you that we haven’t handled some dangerous people over the years, enemies that returned even decades later to exact revenge. Memories are long in the world of organized crime.”

  Memories. Just like his.

  “While we try and avoid conflict, sometimes doing so is impossible to avoid. Many years ago, the family had opened a resort and casino and after several months, we were very successful. We’d adapted, something the Bratva was good at doing, computer and contracts used over back door deals and money laundering. But we still had enemies everywhere who loathed our success. I was young and arrogant, so sure of myself and that I could handle any danger.”

  “You mean cocky,” I threw in to try to help him not wallow in the despair.

  “Exactly. Maybe you know me better than I thought.” His laugh was halfhearted.

  “Maybe so.”

  He shook his head as the memory continued to eat at him. “When I met her, she almost instantly became the light in my life. I was a fucking crazed kid who wanted to spend every moment with her. She was nothing like the women who hung all over Bratva men, thinking we were all that and a bag of chips.”

  “And you aren’t?” I acted shocked.

  “Not by a long shot. But I didn’t know that at the time. She wanted nothing to do with me. She was doing her best to start a new life far removed from her old one. It took me two weeks to convince her to have a drink with me. Even then, she was none too thrilled about who I was, but I wore her down. You bet I did.” He developed a real smile, but it faded quickly.

  “You have a way about you that refuses to be denied.”

  “Yes, I do. Keep that in mind.” He pointed his finger at me playfully while his eyes reflected a gut-wrenching sadness.

  “So you fell in love.”

  “We did. We became inseparable. We moved in together. We had this cheap little apartment. Oh, it was nothing special, but we didn’t care. We were happy, determined to build a future.”

  I snorted. “You? You’re rich. Wasn’t she good enough?”

  “Now. Now. You don’t know my father or my uncle. There were no easy roads. Since they started with almost nothing, their children were required to work hard to prove themselves. That took me a few years. But I had big plans. I was going to move up and become a lieutenant, which would mean I’d earn more money. I was on my way when we took an impromptu trip. Hell, I didn’t even tell anyone we were going on a little vacation.”

  “I bet she loved it.”

  “She did at first. I had some money saved so we stayed in a very nice hotel, ate the finest foods. Then she fell ill out of the blue and we went to see a local doctor. Later, I teased her about getting married, although I was very serious.” He finally glanced away, but just before he did, I caught the look in his eyes and was heartbroken for him. “Fuck. I thought we were protected. I thought I didn’t need any men to watch out for us, but I was wrong. We were ambushed as we left the clinic. While it was apparent I was the intended target, since I fought back, she was… She was killed. Because of me.” He lifted his head so that I would be forced to look into his eyes.

  His words had been perfunctory. At first. Explaining the memory as if the pain wasn’t raw and real, eating him alive. But I knew better. There was no denying the angst in his tone or the sense of despair resonating from every inch.

  The memory was almost too much for him. Even in the ugly, dim lighting with the storm refusing to let up, I could see tears in his eyes.

  Very slowly I stood, realizing I was shaking as much as his hand was. When I walked closer, he bristled and I thought for certain he’d shut me down.

  But he didn’t.

  He allowed me to nuzzle against him, which felt so out of place yet so right. “You weren’t to blame. The people who murdered her were.” He couldn’t even say her name because doing so would force him to relive every moment of the horror.

  “You don’t understand my way of life. Or at least what was a requirement then. She was a weakness that was used against me by an enemy of my father’s. That’s what I still believe to this day.”

  “Meaning you never found her killers?” The fact I did understand his way of life added credence to his concerns I was somehow involved with whatever game was being played.

  He laughed almost bitterly and swirled his drink. “Remember what I said. There are soldiers for almost every mafia organization even today who are nothing but hired assassins, living and dying by their sword. They are masters of hiding who they are working for, so unless someone claims responsibility, the deed can easily go unpunished. Trust me. I tried. There were rumors. A fucking group of Italians. I almost started a war with my acts of vengeance. My father and my uncle had to step in or there would have been blood raining in the streets from Las Vegas through the Midwest. For a long time, I was ready to burn down the world and almost did.”

  As he threw back the rest of his drink, I tried to think of something to say. Anything that would matter. “Are you still doing that?”

  “In a way.” He grabbed the bottle of vodka, pouring himself another drink. “I no longer torch homes or interrogate anyone I think was involved, but the anger has never completely left.”

  “Instead of acting on your need for revenge, you shut yourself off from being with anyone.”

  He lifted his gaze, nodding. “Can you see why?”

  “What happened was horrendous. Something tragic that no one should ever be forced to go through, and I am so very sorry for what you endured. I’m not trying to make light of the terrible act, but what good is shutting yourself off from feelings and emotions or from caring about someone? Your fiancée could have died from the illness she had or from crossing the street.”

  I thought for a few seconds he was going to be furious with me, but he rubbed his jaw and groaned. “Exactly what my cousin and now current Pakhan has told me for years.”

  “Why me, Vissarian? Why did you let your guard down with me?”

  “Why? I’ve already asked myself that ten times. Because of your personality. Your damn hot ass.” He laughed when I gave him a look. “I don’t know all the reasons why, Fallon. I really don’t. But I’m not going to lie. You remind me of her. Not completely. Just enough to jar me into accepting that I’d given up living. For fifteen years.”

  The moment shared between us was fragile, yet I felt such a strong connection to him.

  “What was she like?”

  He softened as I sensed memories came into his mind. “Quirky like you. She had a zest for life, but refused to take any crap from anyone.”

  I could laugh. At least I knew he was appreciative of my quirky ways. “I wouldn’t think you’d appreciate someone giving you grief.”

  His snort was adorable. “She kept me on my toes, but trust me, she needed to. She was good at everything she did. She’d never bartended before and yet was determined to become one. I helped get her a job in one of our clubs, even keeping her little white lies a secret. Everybody adored her from day one. Because she was so… colorful, she made a lot of money. She was an animal lover. Just like you are. Being around you is the best of the memory while so much of me is hoping to forge new ones. I hope that doesn’t bother you.”

  “Not at all.” A faraway look brought another moment of tightness in my chest. “That’s why you helped me save Bella.”

  “Maybe.”

  We both glanced at the fur baby. She lifted her head and only had eyes for him. Even the thumping of her tail meant she was happy that he’d noticed her. Surely, he couldn’t be all bad. That had been something I’d been taught a long time ago by someone very close to me. A dog was the best warning mechanism against evil creatures.

  “She had a pup named Ladybug that she loved more than me. Trust me. She told me as much a half dozen times. Oddly enough, the pup looked a lot like Bella. The damn thing wandered into the loading dock area where the huge dumpsters were. She was hungry. That’s where the love of my life took her cigarette breaks. No amount of getting her to quit worked, but she saved a pup that day. They went everywhere together, including to work. That sounds like something you’d do.”

  “Bella just might become a frequent flyer.”

  At least he was able to laugh. “She’ll do very well. Anyway, when I saw you, I had a feeling my feisty girl had sent you somehow as a kick in my butt.”

  “To live amongst humans again.”

  “Something like that.” Reaching out, he brushed hair from my shoulder. “We don’t know each other, but what we’ve shared is undeniable. A part of me knows that I shouldn’t have you in my life under any circumstances, but the other isn’t ready to give you up. We’re connected somehow in a way that I can’t explain. You’re very special. Not because of the likeness, but because of the woman you are. Bold. Beautiful. Unforgiving and very caring.”

  “But you’re worried if this continues, I’ll be used as another weakness.” Whatever this was. We’d had sex. Granted, the hottest sex I’d had in my life times six, but… A tiny, but very intense shiver rushed down my spine.

  “Yes, I am. I can’t help but feel like you were manipulated into coming here with me and it’s driving me crazy. Whatever game Ludolf is playing isn’t to be taken lightly. I don’t like feeling that way, but with what Ludolf said to both me and to you, I need to discover what he’s hiding and his future plans. He alluded that there is some enemy determined to take down the Dmitriyev regime. I had a feeling it was much more personal than targeting my family in its entirety.”

  I looked away as I thought about what Jasmine had told me. There were too many oddities that I hadn’t paid attention to in my grief.

  “What is it?” he asked and the previous demanding side of him had returned.

  “I talked with a friend earlier today while you were gone, someone who doesn’t seem to like you very much. She warned me about you. She said something about a wife and that you were responsible for her death. Why would she believe that?”

  He exhaled, groaning at the same time. “You kept that from me.”

  “I wasn’t certain what to say at first. I needed time to process.”