While Alturo and his family were still in complete control of Cartagena as well as other parts of South America, there were zero indications a trip had been made to the United States recently or that he’d hired someone to carry out the deed. Still, I left him in the maybe category for now, refusing to mark him off completely.

  I’d leave Devin Carlos to Thomas for now, but if he didn’t learn something quickly, I would pull out every contact I had from Mexico through Texas and the west to plot an itinerary of his recent whereabouts and business activities. Hell, I might even head to Texas myself.

  At this point, without catching a break or without Francois finding an informant willing to talk, we remained in the dark.

  My patience was wearing thin.

  I left my office, grabbing my scotch and turning off the light. As I headed into the living room, I was surprised not to find her curled up reading a book. For a few seconds, nerves kicked in, but I’d studied the camera surrounding the house more than once. I would have known if someone had crossed the property line.

  And I gathered a sense that my little lamb wouldn’t dare leave the property any longer. She’d said very little at dinner, picking at her food as she’d stared off into space.

  I moved toward the back door, noticing her sitting in the dark staring out at the ocean. She had nothing in hand, just sitting calmly staring out at the water as if searching for answers. After watching her for a few seconds, I headed to the bar, refreshing my drink while pouring her a glass of wine.

  As soon as I moved onto the deck, I expected her to react to my presence, but she remained quiet, unmoving. I eased the glass of wine in front of her and it took a few seconds for her to grasp it. At least she did, immediately bringing the rim to her lips. Exhaling, I moved to the railing, staring out at the water as she’d been doing. The night was beautiful, stars twinkling in the sky, the nearly full moon covered by a blueish hue, which created a slightly eerie atmosphere.

  “My father is dying. Isn’t he?”

  Her question hit me hard, more so than I thought it would. The dull ache I’d felt both behind my eyes and in my gut increased almost instantly. Lying wasn’t something I could do, certainly not about her family. “He fell into a coma because of a secondary infection. He’s possibly septic. I don’t know his prognosis, Zoe. I would tell you if I did.”

  “He has sepsis? Do you know what that means?”

  “I’m not a doctor.”

  “Well, I’m trained to be a nurse. It’s not good. How did you find out?”

  “I called the hospital trying to talk to him. Then I spoke with Francois a little while ago.”

  She slowly turned her head. I caught the movement in the periphery of my vision. “And you’re just telling me now?”

  “I didn’t want to worry you.”

  “There you go again acting as if I’m a child. He’s my father, Maddox. No matter what you think about having a huge family, he’s my everything. He was the one who consoled me when I cried, kissing all my booboos when I fell. He encouraged me to continue with piano lessons when I hated them as a teenager. He was there when I was stupid enough to try out for cheerleading, which I sucked at. But he made me feel like a princess by taking me to dinner after I failed the tryouts. What I’m telling you is that there is no other bond like that of a parent and a child. It’s entirely different. Maybe one day you’ll realize that. I only hope it’s not too late.”

  Her words rang loud and clear. “I hope so too, Zoe. I want a family.”

  “Really? You could have fooled me. You act as if you don’t need anyone.”

  “It’s not about not needing or wanting someone. It’s about whether or not caring about that person will place them in harm’s way, just like what happened to you.”

  Zoe snorted as if I’d just made a joke. “A wise man once told me that it was better to take risks and live my life versus hiding in the shadows.”

  “Who told you that?”

  She jerked up from her seat. “My father. And I know what you’re going to say. I’m here with you because of his concern for me, so he meant everyone but his own daughter, but that’s the way I’ve wanted to live my life. Taking risks. I’ll do it again. Maybe you can’t do that. Maybe you can’t love someone, but I think you did and whatever happened killed your spirit. How very sad, Maddox. I want to be with you more than anything but not if you can’t let go with me.”

  I sensed she was waiting for some big proclamation. I wasn’t the kind of man to give one. So I did what I always did; I ignored her comment.

  When she started to walk into the house, I bristled.

  “Does it feel good standing on the outside of life looking in, Maddox? I know you cared about someone. Whoever she was killed your spirit.”

  The barb was justified. “Shutting down has been necessary.”

  “I feel sorry for you.”

  “Don’t. The need is my fault. My penance.”

  “Penance? Why?”

  “Because I broke off the relationship with her and learned the next day she’d overdosed. Just like my mother.”

  The quiet settling between us was worse than it had been before. I wasn’t looking for sympathy nor was I expecting her to say anything but when I felt her hand on my shoulder, it felt as if some of the heavy weight had been lifted.

  “You really cared about her,” she said.

  “Yes. She was my first and you were right that she was older. I was a stupid kid. I loved the attention at first, the fact she was older providing me with an entirely different experience than I likely would have had as an eighteen-year-old kid. Unfortunately, as with all boys of that age, I was ready to move on. I’d never thought of what we shared as forever, but she’d grown attached. I didn’t see her overdose coming, although I learned later that she hid her drug use from me since I’d told her about my mother.”

  “Geez. You weren’t to blame.”

  I lifted my glass, taking a sip as I thought about her words. “Yeah, I was. I could have handled the breakup better. I could have seen the signs. In hindsight, they were there all along. I chose not to see them. I don’t know why I was so stupid.”

  “You weren’t stupid, Maddox. You needed someone after your father abandoned you. This woman made her choice. Her choice. I understand how addictive drugs can be, but you didn’t push her into what happened. They did. That’s important for you to remember as well as the fact that not all women are that fragile.”

  I half laughed and turned to face her, brushing my knuckles down her cheek. “Since when did you get so smart?”

  “When you weren’t looking or caring.”

  “Ah, lady. I’ve cared for you more than you know. You are very special and I adore you.”

  “But you can’t love me.”

  “I’m not certain I can love anyone,” I told her honestly.

  She leaned into my hand, pressing hers on top. “What was her name?”

  “Lola.”

  “That’s beautiful. Thank you for telling me about her. That means a lot.”

  Another awkward moment settled in but she didn’t make a move to leave.

  “Your dad will be okay. The two of you are forged from the same steel. So strong.”

  I could tell her eyes had misted over and it nearly crushed me.

  “I hope so.”

  The quiet settling between us was different, as if my admittance had brought us closer. Sadly, I had to break the moment and the bubble surrounding us. “Zoe. I need to ask you some questions and I need you to be completely honest with me.”

  “Okay. What?”

  “What happened today? You were terrified in a way I haven’t seen before.”

  I sensed when she opened her mouth, she was prepared to provide the same canned answer as before. When she looked away, I was afraid she was shutting down.

  “I thought you were behind me, squeezing my shoulders. Then I heard a dark and evil laugh. That’s when I jumped up, but I didn’t see anyone. I thought maybe I’d imagined it.”

  “Now, you don’t.”

  She hesitated again. Then shook her head.

  “That’s because something happened when you were in New York. Right?”

  “No.”

  Her clipped answer was just as I’d expected. “I know about the club.”

  “What club?” She jerked up her head and there was no doubt she was trying to search my eyes.

  Now I was the one hesitating.

  “Which club, Maddox? What are you talking about?”

  “The one where you worked.”

  “How would you know that?”

  I rubbed my jaw and felt a nightmare coming on. “Because I was there.”

  “In New York?”

  “Yes.”

  “When?” Her voice was trembling.

  “The two weeks before you graduated.”

  “What? You were following me? You were stalking me?”

  What the hell was I supposed to say? “I was ensuring your safety.”

  “My father asked you to come, or did you do that on your own?” She was now shaking from anger.

  “Arman asked if I’d check on you.”

  Zoe sucked in her breath, taking a long stride away from me. “Oh, my God. I thought my father appreciated my independence.”

  “He does, Zoe. He was just concerned about your safety.”

  “Why?”

  “He didn’t tell me.”

  “My father tells you everything.”

  “No, not everything. Now, as I said, I need you to answer the question. I intervened with the guy who gave you roses the day before you graduated. What did he say or do to you?”

  The way she shook her head was a clear indication she was about ready to explode. “You fucking asshole. You didn’t even have the nerve to tell me you were there? You watched me, followed me? It was you outside my dorm room? The place where I took classes. Wasn’t it?”

  “I was there.”

  “God. I thought someone was following me and all along it was you. I need to be left alone for a little while.”

  When she turned to go, I was forced to stop her.

  “Don’t walk away from me, Zoe. Were you threatened?”

  She tried to jerk her arm away, but I held fast. “Let me go.”

  “Not until you tell me.”

  “You son of a bitch. Fine. Yes, I was.”

  “How?”

  “Some asshole called me. He said something like I would always be his.”

  “Were those his exact words?” Her exasperation was growing.

  “I don’t remember. Let me go!”

  “Not until you tell me.” My voice was deeper, and I dragged her close to me, cocking my head as I peered down at her.

  “He said… He said that I belonged to him now and always.” With that, she jerked her arm free, backing away before I could catch her again. Once in the light, I could tell tears were streaming down her face. “Here I thought I could trust you and you trusted me. I was stupid and wrong. I thought we cared about each other. No. You don’t even understand the meaning of the word friendship. I want to go home. If you won’t take me, I will find a way off this godforsaken island. And when I get there, I never want to see you again.”

  With that, she walked away.

  This time, I allowed that to happen.

  CHAPTER 21

  Zoe

  Damn him.

  Damn the man I adored, that I craved. I folded my arms from the chill that refused to leave even though it was still in the eighties outside. As I moved quickly through the house, racing down the stairs to my bedroom, I glanced over my shoulder twice. I wasn’t honestly certain whether I was hoping he’d follow, demanding I talk to him or tossing me on the bed as a reminder I belonged to him.

  Neither occurred and by the time I flew into the room, I slammed the door with enough oomph I was certain he could hear it from wherever he was lurking in the house. Fuming, I paced the room, trying to make sense of why my father would send his number one right-hand man to trail behind me. As if I couldn’t protect myself.

  Okay, so maybe I was acting naïve when I’d already chastised myself that I should have contacted my father. I’d simply wanted to continue proving that I could live on my own, no longer Daddy’s little princess. I stomped toward the bathroom, flicking on the light. Even from standing in the doorway, the reflection of the woman I’d become stared back at me.

  If I didn’t know better, I’d say the girl was laughing at me, making fun of my ridiculous behavior and determination to remain behind rose-colored glasses. That’s the one piece of advice that Raven had given me. She’d never tried to pretend that she could be a surrogate mother. She’d become more like a sister, but her advice had been damn good.

  I’d just chosen to ignore it.

  She’d told me that in continuing to deny who I was, I would eventually put myself in harm’s way. I’d asked her how she planned on following her own advice and she’d told me that she’d learned very quickly that my father’s instincts on security were spot on. She was a rule breaker like me, yet she’d managed to not only learn to obey my father’s rules, she even seemed to value his strength and knowledge.

  Why hadn’t I been able to do the same?

  I took two long steps toward the counter, slamming my hands on the surface, glaring at myself in the mirror. The truth was I didn’t like what I was seeing, the foolishness and childish behavior more like temper tantrums than anything else. I wasn’t asserting my authority because I had none. I wasn’t highlighting my independence; I was making a fool of myself over and over again.

  Especially with the man who’d remained centered in the forefront of my mind.

  I was an idiot through and through.

  “Damn you.” I pointed my index finger at the girl then shook my head. The bullshit was going to stop right now. I wanted to work with Maddox to try to help. I needed to be a part of the solution so I could return home. I didn’t want my father to die. I just…

  A single tear slipped past my lashes and I watched as it slowly trickled down my cheek. Before it reached my chin, I furiously wiped it away, feeling more secure in who I was than just seconds before. It was time to act like a goddamn adult. As thoughts about Maddox drifted into the back of my mind, I tried to determine if what I was feeling was nothing more than a childish fantasy, something that I’d shove aside like he did with Lola.

  Memories flowed, so many of them that I was able to laugh at more than one. When they shifted to the moment on the beach with him, the incredible picnic and the campfire, I realized I hadn’t been lying or fooling myself. I loved him. He deserved to know that I wouldn’t toss him aside.

  That I wouldn’t leave.

  He’d risked everything, including his friendship to keep me safe. Now it was time I offered everything I had to the man I adored.

  A naughty thought replaced the haunted ones, and I thought about what I’d brought with me in clothes. I’d tossed a couple of things into my suitcase on a whim, hopeful that Maddox would finally see me for the vixen I was. Yeah, right. Laughing, I threw that girl another look before almost skipping into the bedroom, locating the sexy nightie I’d brought with me. If the sexy crimson piece didn’t help him understand exactly how I felt, then nothing would.

  I hurriedly slipped into it, running my fingers through my curls then fluffing my hair when I was finished before opening the door. After taking a deep breath, I moved into the hallway, listening for any signs of where he might be. Hearing nothing, I eased up the stairs, heading toward the living room where we’d been standing.

  He wasn’t there.

  He wasn’t outside either.

  The silence in the house was terrifying but he’d closed the back door. As I moved throughout the house, I noticed he’d set the alarm near the entrance, the beeping light an indication of his actions. He’d explained the security system after our arrival, cautioning me of where cameras were located throughout the house and the exterior.

  The man was a consummate bodyguard. No, he was more than that. He was brilliant and organized, the only man worthy to be my father’s right-hand man. I inched down the corridor to his office, noticing the light. He was forever working, trying desperately to solve the riddle.

  When I moved to the doorway, I could tell how tense he was by his shoulders, his body rigid as he sat in front of a series of computer screens. He wasn’t blinking and in truth, I couldn’t tell if he was breathing. In my bare feet, I padded inside, surprised that he didn’t notice my approach. I eased behind his chair, noticing he had a list of people and cities up on the screen.

  There were weapons in an open duffle, the man ready for a war. This might be the first time I’d allowed myself to be impressed more so than incensed. He was very good at what he did.

  I held my breath and placed my hands on his shoulders.

  The exaggerated breath he let out was ragged, the sound as haunting as his face had become. When I squeezed his shoulders, kneading them in a gentle massage, he tensed for a few seconds.

  “You should get some sleep,” he said in a husky voice, even more so than before. I noticed a glass of liquor and a bottle of scotch on the desk beside him, as if he planned on drinking the night away.

  “I’m not tired.” I continued to massage him, shifting one hand to his neck, using my long fingers to try to knead out the kinks.

  “You need your rest.”

  “No.”

  “Hmmm…” He didn’t move yet his fingers remained poised on the keyboard, his chest rising and falling.

  “You’re tense.”

  “I have reason to be.”

  “Let me make it better.” I slipped one hand down his chest, still caressing. He was as hot as I was, the rush of heat between us easily combustible.

  He half chuckled and took a sip of his drink. “I don’t think you can.”

  “You’re doubting my skills?”

  “You don’t need me in your life, Zoe. That’s evident.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. You’re exactly what I need. As the man protecting me. As the man I respect. And as the man I love. Hear me, Maddox Cormier. I love you and I don’t intend on leaving you. I’m sorry I’ve acted like such a child. I’ve made your life miserable and that wasn’t my intent. I just… I wanted to be someone I wasn’t. Will you ever forgive me?”