“What if it already has? What if the connection after only two damn days is so strong I feel compelled to protect and cherish her?”

  My brother took a deep breath. “Then you need to ask yourself if spending time or the rest of your life with this woman is worth the loss of everything else. If so, then do everything to make her your top priority. But I will offer you a piece of advice Pops gave me the day I took over. It was something I almost forgot and didn’t put enough credence in. The greatest leaders are capable of a clean break from business and pleasure. They can thoroughly enjoy both, each part of them just as important as the other, but they learn to separate the two.”

  “And the worst leaders?” I asked, tossing him a look. I was disgusted with myself and my lack of control.

  “Well, he didn’t have any advice for those who failed because he was always certain his sons would each make fantastic leaders. This is my thought.” Dimitrios leaned against the glass. “The worst male leaders think with their dicks while the best female leaders use their feminine wiles to get everything they want. Something else for you to think about.”

  “What if it’s determined she’s a black widow in disguise? Admitting this is very difficult for me, but I don’t think I have it in me to eliminate her as would be necessary.”

  He was thoughtful about his answer, nodding several times. “That’s what you have family for. We’ll take care of it.”

  He clapped me on the shoulder, giving me a nod of respect before walking away.

  A choice would need to be made and it was one I wasn’t prepared to face. Two fucking days and the woman had challenged both my integrity and my reality.

  How the hell was I going to go forward from here?

  CHAPTER 23

  “Love to faults is always blind, always is to joy inclined. Lawless, winged, and unconfirmed, and it breaks all chains from every mind.”

  —William Blake

  Kara

  Love and hate were two sides of the same coin. That was what my mother had always told me. No, I wasn’t in love with the man, but I did feel more affection for him than I had the two boyfriends in my previous years. How was that even possible in two days? Two days! I laughed bitterly as I noticed Willow hovering in the distance. She should know how I was feeling. Her brief explanation of who she was and how important she was to the family provided an indication she’d been in the same boat when dealing with Dimitrios.

  “Bastard.” I knew saying that in front of Willow would get back to the entire family, but at this point I didn’t care.

  “All men can be from time to time. It’s how you handle them that’s important. Drink this,” she suggested as she walked to where I was standing at the picture window staring out at the city.

  I laughed, although what she’d said was very true. “Handle. An excellent word. Or game playing. There’s another saying. We push. We pull. We hunger. We hate. I don’t know which is the truth.”

  “All of the above. You just need to know where the line ends and which side you’ll ultimately jump and remain on.” Willow grinned.

  “Very wise, but right now, I feel very confused. We were almost gunned down. Over what? It’s crazy.”

  “It’s reality, but not typical of a normal day that everyone else either enjoys or endures. You have no idea what was going on and I doubt Havros does either. Give your emotions a rest.”

  I stared out at the beautiful sky, uncertain I could do that. I didn’t trust myself any longer because of our whirlwind passion. When you mixed that with danger, the combination was explosive.

  Literally. “I can’t think straight.”

  “And you won’t for a couple days. That’s normal.”

  I rolled my eyes and gave her a look. “Define normal for me.”

  “It’s what you make happen, a decision only you can make for yourself.”

  Brilliant, only I didn’t feel as if I had any say in the matter.

  I’d been forbidden to sit on the balcony for fear another attempt would be made. I certainly wasn’t the one with the target on my back. At least I didn’t think so. I hadn’t done anything so far that would push the boundaries with a single syndicate. Except with…

  “Shit.” I closed my eyes briefly. “This night was insane. I was stupid to go to that club. I was blind with my need to discover the truth, whatever that is. Maybe I was the one who almost got Havros killed.”

  “You can’t do that to yourself. Havros is a big boy,” Willow told me. “In case you haven’t noticed, the brothers are like three peas in a pod. Exactly alike. For them to take advice would alter the earth on its axis. You just need to ask yourself what truths you think matter. Maybe the real truth lies in a different path.”

  “How so?”

  “Trust me; when Leandro was killed, I witnessed the near destruction of that family. That’s how close they are. They rocked my world after it had already been taken from me. But as soon as Dimitrios decided to claim me, I was suddenly one of the only things he could think about. We worked together to solve the mystery and the crime. We were stronger that way.”

  “They’re all big he-men, huh?” Maybe she had a point, but how could I trust him enough to combine camps, so to speak? I’d been on my own mission for so long, I felt as if I didn’t need a wingman or maybe I’d be his. Oh, this was so infuriating.

  “Hell, yes. Now drink. We can both use this.”

  I accepted the glass, smiling at the woman. She was near my own age, her personality matching mine closely. I had a feeling it was possible if circumstances were different, we could become good friends. But I wasn’t staying and he wasn’t going to change his life. Still, it was wonderful to have someone other than Havros to talk to.

  “Does this happen often, being shot at?” I asked, genuinely interested. She’d walked in like a breath of fresh air, immediately ensuring I hadn’t been hurt. Other than my ribs hurting from being tackled, my heart had experienced the most significant pain.

  Yet it had nothing to do with almost being killed. What troubled me almost as much as Havros almost being killed was that I’d recognized both the car and the face of the man sticking his head out the window. I was positive of it.

  Or so I continued thinking. Maybe I was crazy. It had been dark. I’d had a couple of drinks. A shiver tore through me. I would likely never know a decent night’s sleep again.

  “No. Thank God. You learn to deal with your emotions and when days, weeks, and even months are quiet, usually amazing, you almost forget you care about a man leading a powerful organization.”

  “You mean criminal one and I don’t care about Havros. We’re not even friends.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Don’t kid a kidder. Don’t you remember the first thing you asked when I walked into the room? You had no clue who I was, yet you pounced on me asking about Havros. ‘Is he really okay?’”

  I wrinkled my nose. “That’s because I’m not a bad person, at least not really. I don’t want him hurt.” Or killed. I groaned after the awkwardness of what I’d said and she laughed.

  “Your secret is safe with me. For now. However, it’s pretty obvious the two of you hit it off nicely. I’ll leave it at that.”

  “I can’t care about him. This is a horrible life. Always looking over your shoulder. Wondering if the man you… don’t care about is about to get arrested. Crimes. Blood.”

  “Is it really? You’re from New York, right?”

  “An implant there, but that’s where I’ve kind of been living when I’m not on the road.”

  “So you’ve seen more than your fair share of violent crimes, or at least heard about them on the news. Yes? Hell, Boston was a mecca of crime. I was almost mugged twice myself.”

  She had a way about her that made me laugh. “Yes, plenty. I’ve written about them as well. I’m no fool. Violence and crimes are everywhere, but I don’t need to expose myself to undue levels.”

  “Maybe not, but you know really bad things can happen to good people for no real reason. Or that bad people can have a softer side.”

  “If you’re from Boston, how did you end up with Dimitrios?”

  “Long story, but my uncle is his best friend. My family vacationed in Greece because of my father’s job and we spent time together when I was a kid. Dimitrios made an impression on me. When my parents were killed while in Kolonaki, assumptions were made, things got ugly, and I was placed under his protection.”

  “You mean he held you hostage.” Wow. Her story was almost too rough to believe.

  She wrinkled her nose, twisting her lips. “Not exactly. As I said, a very long story. I wanted to hate him for who he was, blaming him for my parents’ murder, but as I got to know him, I realized he wasn’t that kind of man. He was kindhearted and the hero I’d pegged him as being as a kid.” A look of sadness crossed her face.

  “I’m so sorry about your parents.” That didn’t make it any easier to understand how she could love the man, but it was as obvious as she’d claimed to see in me.

  “They were very special and their deaths still hurt. But what I’m telling you is that there are tragedies everywhere, every day, to good people who’ve never done anything wrong in their lives and bad people we all think deserve their fate. My parents were madly in love. My dad knew the moment he laid eyes on my mother that she was the one for him and he pursued her. When you find something like that, you can’t give it up without a real fight.”

  She’d even fisted her hands for emphasis. “Hold on. I’m not in love with the man.”

  “Right. Whatever you say. Just don’t shut down your heart because of the lifestyle. We do normal things. Trips to the beach. Dinners out. Don’t tell anyone because Dimitrios would beat my butt, but we even hold hands while walking down the street doing nothing more than window shopping. He loves the same movies I do. He adores my terrible food.”

  We both laughed. “That sounds wonderful. I don’t think Havros has a romantic or domestic bone in his body.”

  “Really?”

  “Well, the night snorkeling excursion was kind of fun.” I tapped my lip. “Okay, so the dinner he made was pretty romantic as well.”

  “Girl. See?” We were both laughing as the door was opened and in walked Havros.

  Willow opened her eyes wide. “I’ll catch you later. Just think about what I said.”

  “I will. Thanks for the talk.”

  She headed for the door, even patting Havros on the chest before walking out.

  “We need to talk,” he stated.

  I’d seen the man’s armor melt away the moment he’d thought I was unconscious. I’d been jarred from the fall, but I’d known everything he’d done. When he’d picked me up in his arms, I’d witnessed such careful actions, such concern in his eyes that I’d felt as if everything had just been a bad dream.

  Now I was reminded it could be a nightmare. But without knowing exactly what was going on, I couldn’t be certain of anything.

  “About?”

  “What you’re hiding from me.”

  I felt myself opening my mouth, but I had no clue what he was talking about. Because of my confusion, I said nothing.

  He didn’t like that very much. His gaze was heated, his jaw clenched so tightly I would bet he was grinding his teeth. When he raked it down the length of my body, a series of vibrations jetted from one end to the other.

  “I’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready.” With that he walked out. Where had the man who’d been so concerned gone?

  I leaned against the window, unable to make sense of his change in demeanor. I padded toward the door, my high heels still inside his car from what I remembered. He’d carried me up the stairs, insisting that I was staying here tonight. His overt caution made me more nervous than before.

  Maybe he was right and we needed to talk, really converse about truths and lies. Whatever he believed about me holding back from him, he was doing so himself. If he knew who and why, then putting me in danger was…

  No, I wasn’t going to listen to the nagging inside my brain. It was already too muddled as it was. I smoothed down my dress, hating the small tear in the side from the fall. As soon as I reached the door, the rush of adrenaline I’d had before was crashing, my body shaking as a result.

  When I walked out, I was surprised to find no one in the living room. I’d half expected his entire family would be waiting to grill me on my secret. I only had one, but what did it matter to the Nomikos regime? No one was in sight.

  Including Havros.

  I walked through the house, finding him in the kitchen. He had a drink in front of him, both his hands placed on the kitchen island, his head down.

  He sensed the moment I walked in, lifting his head slowly. There was such pain laced in his expression I was certain he was hurt or had heard bad news.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, merely taking a single step into the room.

  “Why don’t you have a seat?”

  I started to, but remembered seeing ice cream in his freezer. It sounded nuts even to me, but I suddenly had an intense craving for some. I always did when I was nervous. He seemed perplexed as he watched me open the freezer door, finding the carton I’d seen the night before.

  “Don’t look at me that way. This entire night has made me anxious. I’m having some ice cream. Would you like some?”

  He laughed halfheartedly. “Not really in the mood.”

  “What are you in the mood for?” I pulled out two drawers before remembering where I’d seen the silverware. “Oh, I know. Interrogating me.”

  “That’s not what we’re doing here.”

  “Isn’t it?” I found a bowl and flipped open the lid on the ice cream. As I started to dig some out, I felt his eyes pinned on me. His entire body was tense, more so than mine was. I continued scooping out a few spoonfuls, finally snapping the top back into place. Instead of sitting down like he wanted, I placed the ice cream back in the freezer and stood in the corner where the counters met.

  He half huffed and pulled out one of the barstools, sitting with his back against the island. He said nothing as I took a few bites, his eyes colder than I’d seen them since the beginning.

  “So ask,” I finally said in between bites. The way he was staring at me was unnerving.

  “Would you like to finish your dessert first?”

  “This is actually dinner. Would you like a bite?”

  “No, I don’t think I would.”

  Unable to resist the temptation, I scooped out a bite, shifting the spoon toward him. “Take a bite. A lick.”

  It was impossible to tell if I was pissing him off, but I couldn’t seem to help myself around him. He cocked his head, staring at me as if I’d lost my mind. That had already occurred. I moved the spoon closer. And closer. Finally, irritated by his stubbornness, I pressed the thick cream against his lips and started laughing.

  I thought he was going to choke as he caught most before it dropped onto the counter. When he lifted his head, I expected to see anger, but he was smiling like some kid while licking his lips. The moment was sweet and meant more to me than it should. Guilt replaced the slight giddiness and I headed to the other side of the kitchen, grabbing a napkin.

  The beautiful blip in time died seconds later as his smile turned into a scowl and he snatched the napkin from my hand.

  “I’m not going to say I’m sorry,” I told him.

  “I wouldn’t expect you would. That’s not your style.”

  “What does that mean?’ He looked away and I pushed as usual. “Havros. What does that mean?”

  He tossed the paper aside, acting as if the drift into frivolity hadn’t occurred. “Tell me about how your mother died.”

  “What?” The question was gut-wrenching, like a sharp knife being driven into my heart. I had the spoon midair, ready to take another bite. I slowly lowered it, nausea taking over. “Why do you ask?”

  “Because she died mysteriously with almost no mention of how in every scrap of documentation we’ve read.”

  “We.”

  “My brothers and I.”

  “Oh.” I put the bowl on the counter, licking drops off my lips. There was no way of lying to him. Tears threatened to well in my eyes, but I refused them. “She was murdered.”

  “While you were staying in Italy.”

  “Yes.” The old sadness returned. So had the nervous tic I used to get on the side of my mouth. I pressed my fingers against it, praying the memories wouldn’t be so strong I started to cry.

  “How?”

  “Are you seriously asking me about the murder itself, as in the gruesome details?” Nothing he’d said should appall me, but he had to know how much the question hurt.

  “Not the details, Kara. Just the basics. I’m not a monster.”

  “That remains to be seen.” I threw my hand out, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair. Remembering is painful. My mother was going shopping. She had a driver who doubled as her security. They went to a couple locations. When they returned from one store, the moment the man started the engine, it blew up, killing both. Okay? Happy now? Or would you prefer to hear I was supposed to go with her, but I’d been a bad girl, slipping away from the compound to see a boy I’d met the night before and wasn’t allowed to join her.”

  His eyes flashed. “That’s terrible, Kara. I’m very sorry.”

  “Yes, it is and that was also a long time ago. Why did you ask? What does it matter now?” He was fishing far too close to the truth.

  “Was the person responsible ever caught?”

  I couldn’t believe he was going down this horrible trail. “No. Although my father insisted he knew who’d done it.”

  He continued to stare at me, now saying nothing.

  Frustrated, I raked my hands through my hair. “He’d been a direct opponent of the Cosa Nostra while serving his time. That’s what I called it anyway. Everyone knew he’d ruffled a few feathers during his tenure. He had the ear of the president of the Italian Republic. They were buddies. I can’t tell you how many times we were invited to the man’s house for dinner the years we were there. I was just twelve at the time, almost thirteen. I wasn’t really told much, but I had eyes and ears.”