I’d become a disillusioned, angry man who’d parlayed disappointment and anger, bitterness and hatred for the system I’d once loved into words on a page.

  Words filled with anger and remorse, using the emotions that were pent up inside to sell books instead of healing my fractured soul. Until I’d believed I didn’t have one any longer.

  Those words and that rage had made me a lot of money, but had left me cold, dead inside.

  I’d gone from being a law-abiding savior to an assassin without thinking. Did I have any regrets?

  No.

  None.

  Maybe I was more like the killer than I’d care to admit to anyone.

  Exhaustion had become my way of life, not excitement. A dull ache that never wavered. Never left.

  The moment she’d walked back into my life, I’d begun to feel something once again, something other than the darkness eclipsing my soul.

  As the hunger grew, so did my need to protect her.

  At all costs.

  No matter the consequences.

  CHAPTER 19

  Alexia

  My life had been fraught with misery.

  I’d tried to deny it, years of doing so and I’d believed I could hide the pain that tormented me every day. Yet now I knew better. I’d be lying to myself if I said I was remotely happy or even content. That simply wasn’t true.

  How did I know?

  Because the moment I’d walked up to Maverick’s table, the swell of emotions had been overwhelming. Even with the increasing danger and the confirmation that the killer was still out there, all I could concentrate on was the handsome author.

  I dove into the water and the rush of cold was thrilling, jolts of current dancing across my naked skin. What had prompted me into craving time in the pool was beyond me. Now I was glad I’d made the decision.

  I’d pontificated basic bullshit about being taught to live again, even a little recklessly. I’d done nothing remotely careless in my entire life. In fact, it had been structured from morning until night. No room for error. Or emotion.

  After spending months of fading into bouts of depression, discovering cold hard structure had pulled me from the great depths of hell. The Python Killer hadn’t taken my life, but he had taken my heart and soul.

  Maybe tonight I was reclaiming a tiny portion of it.

  As soon as I swam up from the depths, breaching the surface of the water, I expected to see Maverick standing there waiting. Maybe with an admonishing look on his face. He was nowhere to be seen. I turned in a full circle, churning up the water as I did. I thought I’d seen him walking out.

  Yes, I had.

  My heart thudded several times as my pulse ticked inside of my clenched jaw. I twirled again, now racing toward the set of stairs.

  Another rush of emotions tore through me as I was jerked backward through the water.

  And directly into a set of strong arms.

  “What are you doing?” I smacked my hand against his chest, shaking my head from seeing the wide grin on his face. He could be the most difficult man I’d ever known, but he could also be extremely playful.

  The combination kept my mind at odds.

  “Did you miss me?” he asked, cradling me against him.

  He truly thought he could tame me. What were the odds that was possible? And why was it that I wanted him to try?

  “You are a terrible man. You should know better than to sneak up on a woman like that.”

  “Sneak up. This is my house. My pool. I’m not in a habit of sneaking up on anyone.”

  He swung me around again while the water lapped over us. In the shimmer of the moon, his features were more pronounced.

  I felt comfortable in his arms, protected. He would never allow anything to happen to me. The man was also fighting demons furrowing deep inside. The two of us had been brought together by tragedy, drawn together by my curiosity and entangled by a series of emotions neither one of us could control.

  In truth, I’d never wanted to be as close to anyone as I did with him. Never.

  His smile slowly faded as he eased me to my feet, one hand cupping my jaw while he slipped his arm around my waist. I was light on my feet as he jerked me close, crushing the full weight of his body against mine, but in the water, we were equals.

  Only he was a giant even though I was standing on my toes. I rolled my palms up and over his shoulders, clasping my fingers together. His hold was so possessive, but I adored his actions and the way his fingers dug into my skin.

  As he lowered his head, the tickling sensations from his hot breath created a swooning moment. We were out under the stars, the almost full moon creating a stunning light show. Warm breeze tickled our skin, tousling our hair and creating goosebumps at least on my arms. His were too rugged, too muscular to display the hint of chill in the air even on a perfect humid night.

  In being with him, I could allow a little of the world to fade away, content with understanding that I couldn’t control everything, including portions of my own destiny. I’d tried so hard to keep everything in order, but the messiness was everything I’d craved.

  And everything I found in letting go with this man.

  This handsome, dangerous, powerful man.

  I was thrown into another moment of being completely lightheaded when he crushed his mouth over mine. The holding pattern was scintillating, awakening every sense, including ones I hadn’t known I had.

  He lifted me off my feet and without needing to be told what to do, I wrapped both legs around his. He spun us around once again and the way his cock pressed against my stomach formed several circles of light in front of my eyes.

  Teasing him, I pushed the tip of my tongue against his lips, but he was having none of my trying to take control. When he thrust his tongue all the way inside, I moaned into the kiss. I’d never felt so light, so on air as I did at that moment.

  The kiss became a passionate roar as his actions became rougher, needier.

  I tangled my fingers in his hair as he explored every centimeter of my mouth. When he finally broke the kiss, I was far too lightheaded to do anything but take deep breaths. He pressed his forehead against mine while rubbing his hand down my back. Tiny prickles of electricity tumbled through every muscle straight into my core.

  I was on fire, every muscle aching with need and longing. His chest rose and fell, his cock throbbing as it tickled my stomach.

  “God, what you do to me.”

  “What do I do?”

  He lifted his head, his eyes hooded. “Make me fucking crazy.”

  I slipped my hand between us, wrapping my fingers around his thick shaft, the tiny whimper escaping my throat bringing another smile to his face. I rolled my hand up and down until I created friction.

  “Crazy, huh?” My murmur was barely audible, but he heard every syllable.

  “Be careful or I’ll need to teach you all over again who’s boss.”

  “You just think you are.” I squeezed his cockhead until he let out a rough growl. Now the look in his eye was primal, a man whose hunger knew no bounds.

  “I know I am.” He grabbed my fingers, squeezing them while guiding the tip between my legs. As he rolled his cockhead up and down my slickened folds, I threw my head back, studying the sky as several breathless moans slipped past my lips.

  He didn’t waste any time. The moment he thrust the entire length of his cock inside I let out a sharp cry. Without hesitation, he fisted my hair, forcing me to stare into his eyes. He shifted his hips back and forth until he was fully seated inside before pulling almost all the way out.

  His playful side was one I adored, but not tonight. I needed his big, fat cock buried deep inside. He wasn’t letting me off that easily, yanking my head down, forcing my back into a deep arc and my breasts completely exposed.

  There was nothing like the heated sensations of his hot, wet mouth as he wrapped his lips around my aching nipple.

  I clawed his arm, every inch quivering as he sucked and nipped my tender tissue. He took his sweet time, rubbing his lips to my other breast, dragging the tip of his tongue along the underside before swirling it around my fully taut bud.

  “You taste so sweet,” he muttered and plunged into me again. The swell of water rushing over us made me laugh.

  There was no reason to be nervous around him, not after everything we’d been through, but I found myself anxious. Maybe because as he continued getting closer, I was forced to face the strong set of emotions threatening to dredge up memories.

  With his fingers still firmly entangled in my hair, he eased back until I was looking him straight in the eyes once again.

  “So fucking beautiful.” He whispered the words as if just experiencing our connection for the first time. He wasn’t about to let me go, his hips moving as he rocked against me. Together, we developed a rhythm, bucking just enough the water lapped over our heated bodies.

  His eyes never left mine as if he was searching my soul for something only I could provide.

  Forgiveness.

  I clamped my legs against his, gripping his shoulders as he fucked me. I’d never felt such tremendous pleasure in being with a man.

  He wasn’t gentle, the passion exploding between us. My body responded, the ache building as another series of electric vibrations danced all the way to my toes. I was blown away when an orgasm rushed up from the depths of my being.

  “Oh. Oh… My… God.”

  He rubbed the flat of his hand down my back and I’d be damned if the ruthless man didn’t crack his hand against my bottom not once but four times. The combination of pain and pleasure rolled through me like a freight train. The single orgasm swept into a tidal wave, leaving me breathless and no longer able to feel my toes.

  He wasn’t interested in stopping, still fucking me as he took long strides toward the edge of the pool. His touch was enigmatic, the warm breezes adding to the rush of heat already turning into a wildfire. With no effort, he hoisted me onto the edge of the pool, running his fingers along the insides of my legs.

  Every sound guttural, primal and hungry, he lifted and bent my knees, spreading me wide open. My skin was covered in tiny prickles, every muscle jumping involuntarily from his light touch. For a rough and tumble man, I’d learned he could be very gentle.

  “Touch yourself,” he commanded. “Pinch your nipples for me.” He rolled the flat of his hand down one leg, rubbing my arched foot. I had my toes pointed, struggling to breathe normally. For some insane reason, I suddenly had a sense of embarrassment. As if anyone could see us here.

  When I didn’t respond immediately, he blew across my pussy lips, the action creating a wave of tingles so powerful I couldn’t breathe. I’d never been one to let myself go, enjoying a moment of passion with anyone. Other than in the dark. Other than behind closed doors.

  And I’d never acted out on my darker desires. It had seemed wrong, filthy, and sinful.

  But with him, everything was amazing and I longed to please him. In doing so, I sensed another level of freedom. Yet I closed my eyes, now biting down on my lower lip with enough force I tasted blood.

  With my head lolled to the side, I brushed the tips of my fingers down both sides of my neck. Almost immediately I was rewarded with a seductive growl. He continued to tease and encourage, floating the rough pads of his fingers along the sensitive insides of my thighs.

  Ticklish all over, my body spasmed and I tossed my head from side to side. It was impossible to keep from laughing even as I rolled my index fingers around my already taut nipples. The wash of emotions and electric vibrations was amazing, pushing me further away from the suffocation I normally experienced.

  I was finally able to let go, enjoying the moment of wickedness. After taking a deep breath, the shame washed away, leaving only the stark sense of desire that he so easily had dragged out of me. All sound seemed to fade, the sweet peace of pleasure incredible.

  As soon as I finally pinched my nipples, he lowered his head, darting his tongue around my clit. He took his time, indulging in a sweet feast while I twisted my hardened buds until the pain drifted into utter pleasure.

  Maverick held me in place, his strong fingers digging into my skin. So dominating. So possessive. For all the times I’d insisted I’d never want a controlling man, here I was savoring every moment.

  His tongue plunged deep inside, his lips working my pussy lips as he pinched my clit until I moaned. The sound floated away, somehow captivating me. Being here with him meant more to me than he could understand.

  Two fingers became three then four, all flexed open as he pumped with wild abandon. When he hit my G-spot, I jerked up from the pool deck, gasping for air. I’d never experienced such crazed sensations. I’d also never felt so alive and on fire.

  Fingers. Tongue. Lips. They were a perfect orchestration, working together in a beautiful symphony. The man knew exactly how to play me, already knowing every inch of my body. I was floating free, lost in a sweet bliss that I never wanted to end.

  But my body had other things in mind, betraying me only minutes later. An orgasm swept up from my toes, forcing a series of strangled sounds from my throat.

  Stars in vibrant colors floated in front of my eyes and the beautiful fog allowed me to fade away into a surreal moment.

  He refused to stop, his tongue doing masterful things to my pussy. There was something to be said about being lost in a man’s art of pleasure. He buried his entire face into my wetness, licking and sucking every drop of my juice. Within a few seconds, another climax rushed into me.

  “Oh. Oh. Yes!” I smacked my hand across my mouth, laughing after hearing the animalistic cry.

  All the while, I was serenaded with his gruff sounds, keeping me excited and on the delicious plateau. When I finally came down from the extreme high, he pressed his lips across one leg then the other before easing me back into the water.

  “Sweet and tangy,” he murmured as he nuzzled against the side of my neck.

  “You can’t have both.”

  “You don’t think so?”

  “Nope.” I pushed against his shoulders, offering a salacious look. He wasn’t the kind of man to lose a competition to anyone. Without a second thought, he captured my mouth, holding our lips in position for several seconds.

  But soon he thrust his tongue inside, battling with mine to prove me wrong. The taste of me on his lips was sexy as hell. He enjoyed the small win, the kiss becoming a passionate roar.

  However, I sensed by how his cock throbbed, pulsing erratically that his patience was waning. The powerful man needed satisfaction.

  I was proven right.

  As soon as he spun me around, I gripped the edge, pushing up as he kicked my legs further apart.

  The next series of hard smacks was jarring, but every sensation was powerful. I was still lightheaded, incapable of focusing on anything. Just the way he wanted me. I was still lingering in the feeling of being fucked long and hard when he thrust his cock back into my pussy.

  My muscles clamped around the thick invasion, pulling him in even deeper. He pulled me away from the edge, gripping my hips as he fucked me like a wild animal. I was crazed with desire, so much so I could barely breathe. He knew exactly what he was doing to me, keeping me on edge then slowing down, cracking his hand on my bottom once again.

  The heat building between us was insane, so intense I had difficulty catching a full breath. He wasn’t interested in stopped or allowing me to collect myself.

  Water pounded over us, the brutal thudding as he drove in hard and fast a powerful aphrodisiac. I was lost in the moment, engaged in the warmth of his scent and the rush of heat from his touch.

  Maybe that’s why I didn’t notice when he pressed his cockhead against the crack of my ass. I barely realized what he was doing when he rolled the tip up and down. And only when he’d driven inside my darkened hole by an inch did I finally respond.

  Stiffening, I clawed the edge of the pool as I rose onto my toes. He kept one hand gripping my hip and pulled hair from around my shoulders with the other.

  “Relax, baby girl. Just relax. I’m going to make you feel so damn good.” There was no stopping him, not that I wanted to. He pushed another inch inside, allowing me to catch my breath for a few seconds.

  The pain ripped at my breath but was short lived as pleasure rolled through me. He took his time pushing in an inch at a time. When he was fully seated inside, he pressed the full weight of his body to my heated skin and the vibrations were off the charts. We moved together as we’d done before only, I had no illusion about who was in charge. He wasn’t about to allow me to have any control.

  He pulled out, driving into me again. And again. When he finally gripped my fingers, I lolled my head on his shoulder, staring up at the stars.

  They were even more beautiful tonight, allowing me to feel that reckless abandon I’d wanted so desperately to have in my life.

  For a little while, we were as one, rocking together as if we were meant to be. This wasn’t love, but it was something even stronger, more sustainable because above anyone else in my life, I knew I could trust him.

  That was something special and no one could ever take that away from us.

  Including the monster.

  I was aware the moment he was ready to surrender to his own needs, every muscle in his body tense. As his actions slowed, I did what I could to rip that little bit of control away from him by squeezing my muscles.

  Until his body stiffened and he erupted deep inside.

  CHAPTER 20

  Maverick

  Lunging toward the phone, I caught it on the fourth ring. “Maverick Callahan.”

  “You’re out of breath, Agent Callahan. Perhaps it’s because you’ve been spending too much time with your buddies, hiding your sorrows in a bottle of booze.”

  “Who the fuck is this?” I moved around my desk, paying close attention to every sound.

  “Don’t play coy with me, Agent Callahan. You’ve wanted to talk to me. I’ve granted your wish.”

  I laughed on purpose and motioned to my assistant, pointing toward the phone as soon as I did. She’d capture the call so hopefully we’d gather the location of where the motherfucker was hiding. “Ah, yes. Just another pathetic little man.” Still chuckling, I paced my office, trying to act as if his call didn’t bother me in the least.