“Yes, but I’m not Carrie. I’m so sorry you lost someone you cared about, but you need to let it go and live. I won’t live with a ghost.”

  “There is no room in my life for a ghost, baby. Yet you’re just as vulnerable as she was. I don’t want to lose you, but I won’t have your life placed in jeopardy. That’s not fair to you on any level. While I am still arrogant, I’m not the same man I was fifteen years ago. You’re far too important to me.”

  “You said you loved me.” The ache was worse than before, my mind fuzzy from just thinking about leaving. How had things changed so dramatically in just a few short days?

  “My God, woman. Can’t you see how much I do love you? That’s the reason I’m willing to let you go. Nothing can happen to you. Nothing. It would kill me.” He rubbed his thumb across my jaw, his nostrils flaring as his actions became rougher.

  “Does that mean you want me out of your life?” The ache in my stomach and heart shocked me. I wrapped my fingers around his shirt, allowing my expression to demand an answer.

  “My beautiful creature. I don’t want you going anywhere, but through your eyes, I was reminded of the reason I fell in love with Carrie in the first place. Because she had nothing to do with this life. Nothing. She was a taste of innocence. You’re a taste of everything. The way the sun comes up in the morning, the first second as it crosses over the horizon. You’re the stars as they make their beautiful ascension every night, sparkling like a field full of fireflies on a hot summer night. And you’re the intensity of a roaring fire, flames searing every stick of wood. I have no right to keep you in a gilded cage. You deserve to fly free. In other words, it’s your choice. But not until this is finished. Until then, you aren’t safe. The question is: What do you want?”

  His possessive nature would never change, and what the man was offering was already killing him. He’d shown me more passion than I’d ever experienced in my life. I hadn’t just been awakened as if from a deep slumber. I’d been brought to life for the first time, breathing the same sweet air that he did.

  “I don’t want to leave you, Phoenix. Your world is crazy and dangerous, unpredictable and violent, but when I’m in your arms, everything is exciting. I don’t know what will happen between us or in the future, but you did ask me to marry you. It would seem you suddenly have memory issues. I did say yes. Do you need me to refresh that memory?” I teased, trailing my finger between his buttons.

  The low-slung growl remained, the sound electrifying. “What I need is for you to learn to obey me. No more secrets. No lies. Period. If you need something, you ask. If you want honest answers, you ask. But you will obey me. Now, remove your clothes.”

  He issued a deep-throated growl as he pulled me tightly against him. The rich, evocative scent of him was almost overwhelming, tingling every part of my body. As always when I was with him, I was lightheaded, a raging forest of fires sparking deep inside.

  The road wouldn’t be easy, danger lurking just beyond the horizon, but the old saying was right.

  The heart wants what it wants.

  CHAPTER 21

  “To fear is to expect punishment. To love is to know we are immersed not in darkness, but in light.”

  —Mother Teresa

  Whitney

  Punishment.

  The thought wasn’t nearly as daunting as it had been before, almost as if in accepting the necessary discipline, I was asking for forgiveness. Maybe I was. His command was stern but fair. I didn’t fear his anger or the pain I was fully aware I’d experience. I was content in knowing that the release of my frustration and uncertainty would be welcome.

  As crazy as that would sound to someone else.

  “I’m not kidding, Whitney. I will not have you disrespecting me in front of my men, my family, or anyone else for that matter.” No longer was there any anger in his voice, just a stern level of heat that created a series of tingling sensations.

  My skin was already on fire, my mind spiraling to dozens of filthy thoughts. Every deep syllable coming from his mouth yanked on my arousal. After what I’d been through, that alone should be a clear indication I was certifiable. I dragged my tongue across my lips in a blatant attempt to convince him to allow me to slide.

  The smirk on his face told me that wouldn’t happen.

  “Fine.” I couldn’t help myself, my defiance brimming the surface. He shook his head, and I had a feeling I’d pay for all my indiscretions in one painful round of discipline.

  And I craved it.

  His firm hand.

  The way my skin exploded in heat.

  The wetness between my legs.

  Phoenix continued to finger my chin, the light touch stifling the air in the room. Then he pushed me away, heading toward the set of French doors. “Don’t disappoint me.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “I want to make certain the lesson is well received,” he said. I could swear there was a slight grin on his face.

  “What does that mean?”

  After pulling something from his pocket, he held it into the light. His switchblade. “I think a switch will do the trick. Now, ordinarily I’d require you to cut it, but on this gorgeous evening, I want to do it myself. When I return, I want you completely naked over my desk. Is that understood?”

  I knew exactly what he was looking for, the respect that I’d skated around since the first time we’d kissed. “Yes, sir.”

  He seemed amused instead of pleased, but accepted my gesture, the stern look remaining on his face as he opened the door. “I don’t think I need to say it, but do not leave this room under any circumstances.”

  “I won’t. Sir.”

  When the door was shut, I took a deep breath. I’d yet to receive a return call from Elizabeth and I was nervous, uncertain if I was hopeful that she’d find something or not. If she did, I had a feeling Phoenix would be on the first plane to Miami.

  I was second guessing myself more than I had before. If only I could go back and have a long discussion with my father. Maybe the answers I was hoping to find wouldn’t be there, the reason why he left not something he could tell me.

  Or maybe I was just mind fucking myself.

  I moved toward the doors, the darkness crowding out the light. He’d disappeared, which pushed another wave of butterflies into my stomach. Swallowing was already becoming difficult, the anticipation killing me. While the ugly fear that I’d fought since almost being taken had passed, the apprehension of knowing that this war that had been started was far from being over was gut-wrenching.

  As I started to remove my clothes, the lightheaded feeling became worse. There were several reasons, including that my panties were already soaked, so much so the scent was wafting into the air. But I did as I was told, my hands shaking as I slowly removed the dress. He’d spanked me before. Why was it bothering me more than it had then?

  When I was fully undressed, I threw another look toward the closed door then a gulp of my wine before moving the glasses out of the way. Then as I leaned over, I tried to control my breathing. Nothing in my life had ever prepared me for the knowledge or acceptance that I craved a man’s firm hand, surrendering to his needs.

  Especially one so dominating and sinfully tempting.

  Seconds turned into minutes, and I was suddenly struck by the horrible thought that something might have happened to him. Was this going to be the way my life went, worrying about him every time he left the house?

  The answer was easier than all the others I’d asked myself.

  Yes.

  Resoundingly yes.

  Cringing inside, I gritted my teeth, trying to be the patient girl I knew he wanted me to be. After another full two minutes had passed, I pressed my face against the cool wood, counting to ten.

  Then twenty.

  When I finally heard the door, I sucked in and held my breath.

  “Did you miss me?” Phoenix asked as he brushed his fingers down my spine. His arrogance was shining through, keeping me close to a delicious edge. When he pushed his hand between my legs, I shivered visibly.

  The single hard crack on my bottom forced a yelp.

  “When I ask you a question, you will answer it.”

  His voice was darker, more seductive and my mouth was suddenly very dry. “Yes, and yes, sir.”

  “Mmm… Better.” He pulled my legs further apart, patting me on one thigh before rolling his finger around my clit. “My beauty is already wet, glistening in the light. I think you crave and thrive on pain.”

  “I don’t know about that, sir.”

  “We will find out.” When he placed the switch on his desk next to me, I knew my eyes had grown very wide. In the shimmer of light, I was able to see areas of green on the thick switch.

  I was both horrified and fascinated. He quickly returned it to his hand, moving behind me with a new quickness to his step. I cinched my eyes shut, trying to do everything in my power to block out the twinges of nervousness. But as soon as he brought the switch down, I was mortified that my pussy reacted first, trickles of my juice sliding between my thighs.

  Only then did I lurch up off the table from the extreme pain. My mind was fuzzier than before, my ears ringing.

  Phoenix brought the switch down four more times and the whooshing sound it made going through the air was oddly welcoming. Maybe it allowed me a split second of preparation. I clamped my fingers around both edges of the desk, digging my fingernails into the wood. My legs were dangling off the massive desk, my toes just touching the floor.

  I’d never felt so much like a bad little girl, my mind thrown by the fact my mouth was as wet as my pussy.

  As anguish tore through me, sweeping down both legs, I gasped for air. His breathing was nearly as ragged, his longing to take me stronger than before.

  I sensed it.

  I felt it.

  He exuded the kind of hunger that was usually felt by animals of the wild kingdom. I reminded myself he was a predator.

  As he snapped his wrist again, bringing the freshly cut switch down on my upper thighs, I issued several moans. Then I pushed up from the desk, trying to catch my breath.

  “Be a good girl,” he said as he pressed his hand down on the small of my back. Then he rolled his fingers to my bottom, gently caressing my skin before sliding his finger down the crack of my ass.

  “I am a good girl, just not around you.” Stars floated in front of my eyes, the sensations building to a frenzy.

  “I missed fucking that tight little hole of yours.”

  The buildup of heat on my bottom was intense. He brought the switch down six times and my breath was stolen. When he pressed his hand between my legs, rolling his thumb across my clit, I almost came.

  “Don’t you dare come yet, my omorfiá. If you do, I’ll start the spanking all over again. I know you don’t want that.”

  “No, sir.” I bit my lower lip, trying to keep from my body from reacting to the extreme pleasure. When he sank his fingers deep inside, my muscles clamped around the thick invasion, pulling them in even deeper. My stomach did flip-flops, my pulse racing more than it was before.

  Everything about the man was controlling but I sensed everything about tonight was different. He was wired, his entire demeanor darker. I’d seen more emotion in him than I’d thought possible from the ugly fear that he might have lost me. The way he was plunging into my tight channel was forceful, driving the point home that I belonged to him.

  That I had from the first time I’d seen him.

  I opened my legs wider, bucking against his fingers. He knew my body so well that when he sensed I was coming, he stopped, pulling his fingers out completely. When he leaned over, rubbing them across my mouth, I parted my lips without being told.

  “That’s a good girl. Clean them for me.” He pushed them inside, every sound he made pulling on the darkness he thrived on.

  I dragged my tongue up and down one then the other, but the pleasure was quickly taken away, Phoenix pulling his fingers from my dark cavern. When he resumed the spanking, my moans were ones of bliss, not agony.

  “My perfect beauty. So bad yet oh-so good.” He laughed softly as he delivered four more.

  Every part of my body was drained, the intensity of longing leaving me hot and wet all over. When he rolled the rough pads of his fingers around in soothing circles, I fell into a beautiful place of peace.

  Phoenix planted his hands on either side of me, leaning over. His hot breath nearly scalded my neck, the rumble of his deep baritone creating a wave of blistering need. “You wear my marks well, my beauty. Perfect in every way. Now, I’m going to fuck my bad girl in the ass. Just like you deserve.”

  A smile crossed my face as he unbuckled his belt, the sound filtering into my ears. I pushed up from the desk, glancing over my shoulder. He was such a gorgeous man to look at that I couldn’t resist the opportunity.

  “See something you like, sweetheart?”

  “Maybe.”

  He narrowed his eyes as he peeled away his trousers, not bothering to remove them. This was dirty fucking, sinful in every way. When he gripped my bruised bottom, pulling my legs open even wider, it felt as if I’d been yanked into suspended animation. I was so wet, my pussy clenching and releasing several times, and I wanted to beg him to fuck me.

  The second he thrust his cock past my swollen folds, I let out a strangled scream, half laughing after doing so. Had any of his staff members heard me?

  “My wicked woman. It will be amazing to tame you.”

  His teasing only turned me on even more, pushing me to the limits of pleasure. He plunged his cock several times, getting his shaft nice and soaked with my juice. When he pulled out, a moan automatically slipped past my lips.

  “My beauty is hungry tonight,” he murmured.

  “Yes.”

  “Then I guess I need to feed her with my fat cock.” Every filthy word he issued heightened the desire. He rolled onto the balls of his feet, fucking me even more brutally, pushing me to the very edge.

  But I knew he was punishing me for disobeying him. When he pulled out suddenly, I gave him a pouty look, only rewarded with a sly smile crossing his face.

  “You’ll learn, my beauty. Now, open your ass cheeks for me nice and wide.”

  I did as he asked, reaching behind me and pressing my cheeks open. My pussy continued to tingle, an orgasm so close.

  He rolled his thumb around my dark hole several times, his eyes twinkling in their darkness. “Nice and tight for me.” When he pushed it inside, he lifted his head, watching my reaction.

  As usual, the hint of discomfort was quickly washed into sheer bliss. I closed my eyes, still keeping a firm grip on my bottom as he toyed with me. The moment he placed his cockhead against my tight hole, a smile floated across my face.

  “That’s it. Take it like a good little girl.” He pushed an inch inside then another, allowing me to get used to his thick girth. But I knew he wouldn’t go easy on me.

  When he gripped my hips, I arched my back, a series of stars floating in front of my eyes. The moment was incredible, more freeing than I thought could happen. Another blast of pain quickly retreated, replaced with the deep vibrations of utter nirvana.

  “Yes. Yes. Yes.”

  He wrapped one hand around my hair, holding me in place as he pulled almost all the way out, thrusting into me again. My pussy reacted to the thick invasion, clamping several times, the roughness stealing my breath.

  “So damn tight. I could fuck you all night long. Maybe I will.”

  His stamina was unyielding, my entire body aching as he fucked me long and hard. The tickling sensations as beads of sweat popped along my back added to the moment of raw sin. The man would always take what he wanted, refusing to allow me to catch my breath.

  And I loved every second of it.

  As I pushed up from the desk again, meeting every brutal thrust, he allowed his hot breath to slide down my spine. I was tingling all over, no longer able to feel my legs. Only a few seconds later, I sensed he was ready to come. I licked my parched lips, squeezing my muscles and as he erupted deep inside, dazzling vibrations coursed through every muscle.

  Phoenix continued to thrust, every sound he made adding to the wildfire we shared. Then when he collapsed over me, nuzzling into my neck, I sensed his emotions rolling through his body like a tidal wave.

  Lust.

  Anxiety.

  Frustration.

  Love.

  I closed my eyes, more satisfied than I’d been my entire life. Not because this was exciting, the danger keeping me on edge, but because he knew me so well, able to take me to the outer limit of desire.

  There was no place I’d rather be.

  Seconds ticked by. Minutes.

  He entwined our fingers, his cock still throbbing. When he finally pulled away, an emptiness drifted into my mind, my body trembling.

  I knew he was getting dressed and finally eased away from the desk, the ache in every muscle remaining. My bottom was still on fire and as I ran my fingers across the stripes that would be with me for a couple of days, he watched my every movement.

  “You were a good girl.”

  Why were his words strangely appealing? Another flush swept through me, my cheeks on fire as I grabbed my dress. Before I had a chance to grab my thong, my phone rang. We both turned our attention toward the sound, but I sensed his unhappiness.

  “Who did you call?” he asked, grabbing the cellphone himself.

  “My friend. I thought of someplace the package might be.”

  He stared at the screen, his jaw clenching. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I didn’t have the chance, but I was going to.” I expected a burst of anger, but he walked closer, holding out the phone.

  “Answer it.”

  Nodding, I did so without hesitation. “Elizabeth.”

  “You were right,” she said, the tremor in her voice disturbing.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “There were two big guys hanging out near the building. I went to your condo and the door was open. It was trashed.”

  “Shit.” I glanced at Phoenix. “Did they see you?”