“Then say it.” He walked around to face me.

  “I just did.” I took a deep breath, trying not to look at him because when I did, all I wanted to do was to feel his arms around me. Maybe for protection. Maybe for the closeness. Maybe. Maybe.

  Hell, what did I know any longer?

  “Does it make you feel any better?” How could he grin and look so damn good with everything that had happened?

  “Not in the least. I blame you.”

  He chuckled. “You’re allowed to.”

  “You’re right. I can do anything I damn well please. If you can, I can. What about Adan’s death? The enemies who crashed?”

  “We found nothing worthwhile except they had to be Turks. If I had to guess, I’d say we weren’t the anticipated targets.”

  “They had no intention of allowing Adan to live.”

  “That’s my guess.”

  “You’re usually right. Damn you.”

  “Does it pain you so much to say so?” he asked. He crowded my space and every time he did, I was blown over by a rush of desire that was totally inappropriate.

  “Yes. I’ll never say it again.”

  He fingered my face, tracing the various injuries that no longer bothered me, but they continued to drive him crazy. I liked that a little bit too much. “My bet is you will. One day.”

  “Don’t hold your breath.” I laughed but the sound was bitter.

  “I’m sorry about Marco’s friend.”

  “I am too. Thank you for keeping him safe.”

  Jago continued stroking my face. “He’s a good young man. He’ll make a damn good soldier. One day. After college. Maybe.”

  I tilted my head. “Oh, he’s going to college now?”

  “With encouragement, I hope that he’ll choose an education over this life.”

  “You shock me.”

  “I do? I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  At least I could be playful. I jabbed him in the stomach. “You should. I won’t give out but so many.”

  He took our drinks away, placing them on the kitchen table. I watched his actions, laughing softly to myself at seeing the bowl of fruit. Apples and oranges. Bananas and a pile of grapes. When I snagged a juicy grape, he lifted his eyebrow.

  But when I pressed it against his lips, he chuckled, but accepted. Before chewing, he gathered me into his arms, capturing my mouth.

  I pressed my hands against his shoulders, almost instinctively pushing him away. Wanting this was bad. Or so I’d wanted to tell myself.

  Yet his hold was warm and inviting, forcing me to relinquish the grip of fear. I rolled my arms around his shoulders as he pushed the grape inside my mouth. Using my tongue, I slipped it back into his. Finally, he crunched down on the sweet fruit, never releasing his hold on my lips.

  Kissing him was a pleasure, maybe a sin, but I wanted to taste him and feel him close to me.

  Jago managed to ground me, another startling reflection of the woman inside who’d always searched for a hero.

  I’d found one and he certainly represented the bad boys everywhere with flair.

  The kiss was as sweet as the juiciness of the grape.

  At least at first.

  But when he kept his firm hold on my mouth while raking his hand across the bowl, I sputtered into the kiss.

  Fruit was tossed in every direction and I was able to catch some of the carnage as he laid me on the table. He pushed his body between my legs, which I promptly wrapped around him, intertwining my feet.

  The intimate action became much rougher, needier.

  Hungrier.

  I kissed him as if this was the last one we’d experience, our souls melding together as he thrust his tongue inside.

  Everything was so off kilter, but in the strangest of ways, being with him was right. As if I’d found my soulmate. Maybe I’d think differently in the morning, but for right now, I was content with sharing the moment.

  He dominated my tongue, sucking on it while grinding his crotch against me. The feel of his throbbing cock had the same effect it always did. I was euphoric while chastising my longing.

  Yet it only grew stronger.

  Day by day.

  “Ahem,” a voice said from the other side of the room.

  Jago didn’t react right away, but when he finally broke the kiss, he was wearing a mischievous grin. We both turned our heads toward the interruption.

  “Emiliano,” I breathed.

  “Sorry to interrupt, but I thought you’d like to know Antonio is out of surgery. The doctor said he’ll be just fine.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Thank you,” Jago said for both of us.

  Emiliano grinned. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

  Stifling a giggle, I pushed my hands against Jago’s chest. “Oops.”

  “We’ll have a lot of those.”

  He acted as if he didn’t want to let me go. “I want to go see Antonio tomorrow. Is that possible?”

  “My wife is now asking me? I might have a heart attack.”

  I smacked him. “I’m serious.”

  He allowed me to sit up and sighed, his brow furrowing. “Fine. I’ll take you. But you will be careful and no shopping afterwards.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

  How many hospitals would I be forced to visit during my life?

  The answer was sadly easy.

  Way too many.

  They reminded me of death and I wasn’t certain if there was anything that could change that. At least Jago had kept his promise, now walking with me as we moved along the corridor. I’d seen people rushing, a code blue announced, and nurses scurrying around with one emergency or another.

  They were all just forceful reminders of how precious life truly was.

  Maybe I’d taken it for granted for most of my life.

  No longer.

  I planned on living every day to its fullest.

  As long as I could be released into the wild every once in a while.

  The sights.

  The smells.

  The look on people’s faces. As I walked through, I shuddered every few seconds.

  I’d taken Emiliano as well as four soldiers Jago had appointed and we’d had a conversation with a dozen or so of my father’s soldiers.

  Correction. My soldiers. I’d explained to them everything that had happened, daring them to defy me or to challenge my decision in aligning with Jago. None had, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t occur in the future. I’d done my best to be a drill sergeant once again, laying out all the horrible things that would happen if they tried to undermine me.

  Jago was right. The entire situation was skating close to a cliff and we could be staring down into an abyss.

  We’d been accompanied by several soldiers, some remaining outside the hospital while two walked behind us. Antonio’s room had also been made secure, fear of his death weighing heavily on my mind.

  Emiliano had been ordered to stay with Marco, who remained in his room. At least Bella hadn’t been further traumatized, even trying to make me laugh over breakfast.

  But the weight of everything continued to be a heavy burden. The shipment was going out that night. I’d learned all about it and the worth. If things went well, the money earned would filter through my father’s company. I could make that happen.

  If and when I was allowed back into the office.

  “Are you sure you want to go in there alone?” Jago asked.

  “He’s my soldier. Whether you want to believe this or not, you’re not the most popular guy on the block.” We’d stopped just outside Antonio’s room. Even with a gunshot wound, he hadn’t been placed in intensive care. That meant his condition was stable and not as bad as I’d originally thought.

  Some good news.

  “Moi? I thought everyone loved me,” he retorted.

  “Dream on.” I laughed and patted his chest. “I’ll only be a few minutes. Promise.” I glanced at the soldiers leaning against the corridor walls, the two men heavily armed and prepared for anything. They stood straight as we approached, nodding to Jago first, but showing their sign of respect to me as well.

  “I’ll hold you to that. We have some work to do before tonight.” Jago brought me back to the moment, his gentle touch of brushing my hair over my shoulder creating shudders.

  “Always business with you.”

  “After tonight, we’ll cut back.”

  “Right. I don’t believe a word coming out of your mouth.” I raked my finger under his jaw before taking a step away. “I’ll just be a few minutes. He needs to know he has our full support.”

  “Understood.”

  But did he? Had Jago ever showed compassion to his men, or had he just tossed them aside, reminding himself and everyone else that injuries and death were merely a part of the job they’d signed up for?

  Had my father ever visited anyone in the hospital? I didn’t remember a single time, but he’d taken up a vigil when my mother had been shot.

  Shot.

  He hadn’t told me for months what had really happened to her, merely telling me she’d been involved in an accident. The hurt would remain for the rest of my life.

  I took a deep breath and pressed my hand against the door. The doctors and nurses knew better than to interrupt us. I’d sensed fear when we’d walked by the nurses’ station.

  Was it from my father’s reputation or Jago’s?

  As soon as I walked inside, I was struck by the number of machines and hoses. An IV, a heart monitor, blood pressure monitors, and something else I wasn’t certain of was monitoring.

  Antonio had appeared like every other soldier, big and buff. Now he appeared more fragile. Just like life.

  Sighing, I slowly moved toward his bed, studying the private room. From what I knew about blood pressure, the numbers appeared normal and his breathing was only mildly labored. I pulled a chair closer, trying to remain as quiet as possible. Since he was asleep, I had no intention of waking him.

  My arms and legs felt heavy as I eased to the vinyl cushion, immediately uncomfortable. It wasn’t only because the chair was ridiculously stiff, but more about the rapid beating of my own heart.

  I was a mess. There was no other way around it. This wasn’t a life I’d ever wanted, yet here I was. After staring at him for a few seconds, I closed my eyes. It had been a long time since I’d prayed. I’d stopped believing when my mother had been killed. But now, I said a silent one for all of us, not only Antonio.

  At this point, it was obvious we all needed a little guidance, and maybe some divine intervention.

  Images floated across my mind, including the single time I’d been allowed to enter my mother’s hospital room. I’d only learned later that my father had insisted I have a moment to say goodbye. If only I’d known then maybe I would have told her how I felt.

  How much her love and guidance had meant to me.

  A single noise drew my attention and when I looked up, Antonio was staring at me. Was he really seeing me? I didn’t know the man, but it struck me that he had no one keeping vigil. From what Jago had told me, no one had tried to visit him.

  Why?

  Was he so entrenched in his job that he’d followed the unwritten rule to keep weaknesses at bay? Or had he simply lost everyone he’d cared about?

  I was determined to make him feel like family. Somehow.

  “Antonio. You’re awake.”

  He shifted then winced, licking his lips. I noticed they were chapped. “What…”

  “Don’t try and talk. You had surgery. A bullet. But you’re going to be fine.” My words were choppy, my tone of voice one I didn’t recognize.

  Blinking, he turned his head just a few degrees, staring at the room as if in a daze. I could only imagine. “Are… they… dead?”

  “They? If you mean the assailants, then yes. Jago took care of that.”

  “Ummm…”

  “You helped keep Marco alive.”

  “And the kid?” His voice was strained and one of the monitors beeped.

  “Adan was killed. By Marco.” I laughed, which was entirely inappropriate, my heavy dose of anxiety getting the better of me.

  “Good.”

  “Good? Well, sadly, he didn’t provide any information that was worthwhile. Back to square one, but you don’t need to worry about that.”

  Antonio turned his head, his pressures returning to stable. There was such a strange look in his eyes, very pointed as if he had something damning on his mind. “You don’t… understand.” He licked his lips and coughed. “Water.”

  “Oh, of course.” I noticed a plastic cup next to a pitcher. There was water inside, so I assumed it was okay for him to have a few sips. I found a straw and poured some water into the cup. “What don’t I understand?”

  I leaned over, holding the cup and positioning the straw against his lips. He took a few small sips. As I pulled the cup away, his eyes bore into mine.

  A strange series of sensations shifted down my spine. His directed gaze held an entirely different emotion than I’d expected.

  Anger? Resentment? I wasn’t certain, but the look was icy.

  “What don’t I understand?” I repeated.

  Surprises were often difficult to handle when they were shoved in your face. His quick movements were in direct contrast to the fact he was lying in bed with a needle in his arm. Suddenly, he jerked up in bed, wrapping his fingers around my throat.

  “Did you honestly believe you could become a soldier? Not a chance, you worthless bitch.”

  I was shocked, unable to move. There was utter hatred in his eyes.

  “The glorious shipment will now belong to true warriors.”

  What the fuck did that mean? I struggled in his hold, ripping at the hospital gown as he held me far enough away, I couldn’t reach his face.

  “That bastard you married has no idea what Fassi has in store for him. He will learn.”

  Without giving me any chance to breathe, he grabbed one of the cords he was attached to and wrapped it around my neck.

  There was no chance of screaming or making a single sound. He tightened the hold and stars immediately flashed in front of my eyes as the air was ripped from my lungs. I slapped my hands against him, but the angle he had prevented me from using my fists effectively.

  He shifted his lips to my ear, taking several deep breaths. “You were never meant to return home. You shouldn’t be here. Your father was the only one who had to die.”

  I coughed and struggled, gasping for air.

  “I was a good soldier, but your father didn’t give a shit. He fired me. Did you know that? He took everything from me and planned on tossing me aside. All that money. All the assistance I provided, the money I made for him. He did it.”

  “So… you… sold… your… soul.” The lights appeared dim, the words I’d managed to issue taking most of the air in my lungs. “They… wanted you… dead.”

  Antonio laughed. “I did what was necessary to survive. That’s what you don’t understand. There is no loyalty. None. But a princess like you wouldn’t have any idea. Would you?” He tightened the cord, determined to kill me.

  With the last of my strength, I scratched his face, managing to thrust my thumb into his eye.

  He hissed, almost losing his hold. That allowed me a split second to shift and kick. The loud crash as everything was tossed from the small dresser echoed in my ears.

  “Bullshit. I will soon be a king. Die, you fucking bitch.” Antonio wrapped the cord again, jerking me off the floor.

  At that point, nothing was in focus any longer.

  But I heard noise.

  Growls and shouts.

  Angry words spoken in Spanish.

  But nothing made any sense.

  Suddenly, air was returned to my lungs and I gasped, clawing at whoever was dragging me away.

  Breathe. Breathe.

  I clawed at whoever was holding me, trying to focus. The scent. All male. The aftershave. Yes, I recognized it. Jago. Oh, God.

  “Fuck, baby. We need to stop meeting like this.”

  Jago.

  He’d saved me.

  Again.

  I was half dragged away and all I could do was claw at my throat. “He… wanted…”

  “Stop. Just breathe. In and out. Breathe.”

  “Fuck the man. Let me put a bullet in his brain,” Navarro growled.

  I heard Navarro’s voice, the anger that spilled from every syllable.

  “Not yet,” Jago told him.

  A loud pounding. Was someone hitting the wall?

  Closing my eyes, I tried to focus on his voice as the ringing in my ears lessened, the stars in my eyes subsiding. When I opened them again, my focus was close to returning.

  “That’s it. I need to do something. You’re going to be right here with Navarro.”

  “What are you… doing?” I looked up into his eyes, still clinging to him, but anger was increasing. “I’m fine.”

  “I’m going to do what I should have done before,” Jago snarled.

  “Leave him. Let the Turks take care of him.” I surprised myself in making the suggestion.

  He cocked his head, taking several deep breaths.

  Then he smiled.

  “Brilliant. Perhaps I’ll give them a call and let them know it’s time to take out the trash.”

  Did I want to kill the bastard myself? Yes. Not because of what had almost happened to me, but because the fuck had placed my family in danger.

  No one would be allowed to do that again.

  As soon as Jago walked into the room, I heard his deep baritone, the authority and danger ingrained in every word, every single syllable.

  “I’m leaving you for the rats, a well-deserved feast. May you rot in hell.”

  For the first time in my life, I not only condoned the actions.

  I prayed to God Jago’s threat came true.

  CHAPTER 36