When im gone look for me.., p.23
When I'm Gone, Look for Me in the East,
p.23
A few years back, His Holiness writes the following:
Therefore, as I have a responsibility to protect the Dharma and sentient beings and counter such detrimental schemes, I make the following declaration: When I am about ninety I will consult the high Lamas of the Tibetan Buddhist traditions, the Tibetan public, and other concerned people who follow Tibetan Buddhism, and reevaluate whether the institution of the Dalai Lama should continue or not. On that basis we will take a decision. If it is decided that the reincarnation of the Dalai Lama should continue and there is a need for the 15th Dalai Lama to be recognized, responsibility for doing so will primarily rest on the concerned officers of the Dalai Lama’s Gaden Phodrang Trust. They should consult the various heads of the Tibetan Buddhist traditions and the reliable oath-bound Dharma Protectors who are linked inseparably to the lineage of the Dalai Lamas. They should seek advice and direction from these concerned beings and carry out the procedures of search and recognition in accordance with past tradition. I shall leave clear written instructions about this. Bear in mind that, apart from the reincarnation recognized through such legitimate methods, no recognition or acceptance should be given to a candidate chosen for political ends by anyone, including those in the People’s Republic of China.
Listen without distraction: one day the light that is Little Bat may cycle back to this world, he who is well along the path toward mastering full-knowing. In turn, one day this light is to go in search of Uncle, just as one day someone is tasked with hunting for my brother, the Redeemer Who Sounds the Conch in the Darkness. Who knows what can be found if only one is open to seeing?
And now? Can you hear all the universes glimmering in your heart? Are you ready to drop the world’s bait? What would happen if we each renounce the need for a grand narrative and simply vow to be present for each moment along the path? Yesterday I am an old man sitting in an ocean of grass. Tomorrow I am an infant growing in the billion-billion-armed cave of night. I am. I am not. I am again. Maybe one day someone might come seeking me.
Do Not Seek an Easy Victory but Always Prefer a Defeat That Advances Your Learning
DEFENDER: Sing, Bodhisattva of Heavenly Wisdom, in just this way on the subject of impermanence and nothingness.
QUESTIONER: And what would you claim on the topic of impermanence and nothingness?
DEFENDER: As my thesis, I state as given that whatever is produced is impermanent, just like a jar or a sound. I claim that my subject, Love, is not impermanent because it is not a product.
QUESTIONER: A clarification: if Love is not a product, then what is it?
DEFENDER: Love is not a product, like a jar or a sound. Love is a force.
QUESTIONER: The tides are a force. When they rise unexpectedly beyond the scope of human foresight, they sweep away entire civilizations. Yet the tides are a product of the moon’s pull on the earth.
DEFENDER: There is no perversion. Love is neither created nor destroyed. It exists at all times and in all dimensions. Love is not something we create—it is something that wells up in us, like sap in a tree. It is an element in the fabric of the universe. Even on that distant day when sentient beings no longer exist, Love carries on. Perhaps our personal relationship to Love is impermanent, but Love itself is not.
QUESTIONER: The Buddha teaches us that nothing is permanent. All is impermanent. Human suffering arises in part from our craving for permanence.
DEFENDER: It is not established. If nothing is permanent, then that is a permanence. If nothing is absolute, then that is an absolute.
QUESTIONER: The cosmos itself is impermanent. If Love is an element in the fabric of the universe, then one day it too shall cease.
DEFENDER: The universe may cease to exist, but it does not follow that the fabric of which it is built should also cease. Love exists with or without us. Our purpose is to testify and witness its power, and in doing so we strengthen it. If a house is burned to the ground, the house and its effects still exist. True, the wood’s material appearance is transformed into ash, but ash, like wood, is still elementally carbon. Love also changes over time and space. At times it can seem to disappear, as when one brother turns against his twin. But when this happens, it is because we close ourselves off to Love, like turning off a tap. Reopen the tap, and what always exists is known again, new and stronger. What the Buddha teaches us: when the only hope is a boat and there is no boat, we will be the boat. Time is irrelevant. There is only the present moment. Make of yourself a light that is unwavering.
Acknowledgments
In researching this work, I owe many thanks to many individuals across the globe. Often after sharing with me their knowledge, guides, scholars, and religious figures would generously put me in contact with others, who in turn would introduce me to still others. It is with deep gratitude that I thank the following people for sharing their time and thoughts. Please note that all shortcomings or errors in depicting the life of a follower of the Dharma are strictly mine.
I spent one of my most memorable birthdays ever in the Gobi with “Jojo” Munkhzolboo Purev and Oogii of Tseren Tours—they introduced me to “The Whistle Song,” which still brings me deep peace. Thanks also to the various guides and horsemen who showed me the regions where Chinggis Khaan was born.
Bhutan Travel was instrumental in helping me find my way in both northern India and Bhutan, and for introducing me to the knowledgeable and generous Karma Phuntsho, who chatted with me one afternoon; years later I ran into him in India, because it is indeed a small world. He is the founder of the Loden Organization, which supports social entrepreneurship and Bhutan’s cultures and traditions. See www.loden.org for more information or to make a donation.
Early in the process, Anne Hansen introduced me to John Dunne, who in turn led me to Michael Jerryson, who then suggested I contact ErdeneBaatar Erdene-Ochir—thanks to all for their expertise and for elucidating the more complicated aspects of Tibetan Buddhism.
Similarly, Isadora Wagner at West Point led to Richard K. Wagner, who in turn directed me to the American Center for Mongolian Studies in Ulaanbaatar, where I encountered Temple MFA grad and jack-of-all-trades Narantsogt “Natso” Baatarkhuu, who then identified Davaapurev Sainkhuu, a lama at the Gandan Tegchenling Monastery, as someone I should indeed contact. Natso in particular was a tremendous resource and an amazing reader of the work. Additionally I am indebted to him for his translations of various Mongolian idioms scattered through the text.
Fellow seeker Kelly Parks Snider put me in touch with Richard Davidson, who led to Dr. Barry Kerzin, whose thoughts on various sutras were tremendously inspiring.
Another early reader of the work was my friend and colleague Ron Kuka, who teaches at the University of Wisconsin–Madison, where several of the folks listed above also make their homes. I thank UW-Madison for funding that made possible many of my travels and interviews.
Finally, here are some Mongolian organizations that support Mongolian scholars, arts, and literature. Please see their websites for more information or to donate to their causes:
American Center for Mongolian Studies (www.mongoliacenter.org)
Mongol American Cultural Association (www.maca-usa.org)
The Mongolian Society (www.mongoliasociety.org)
Again, I thank these individuals and organizations for their help. To them, the various sanghas of which I am a member, and to anyone I may have overlooked—wishing auspiciousness to all!
Bibliography
Dreyfus, Georges B. J. The Sound of One Hand Clapping. University of California Press, 2003.
Fremantle, Francesca, and Chögyam Trungpa. The Tibetan Book of the Dead. Shambhala Publications, 2000.
Kahn, Paul, tr. The Secret History of the Mongols. Cheng & Tsui, 1998.
Miles, Jack, ed. The Norton Anthology of World Religions. Norton, 2015.
Ajahn Munindo, tr. A Dhammapada for Contemplation. Aruna Publications, 2010.
Powers, John. Introduction to Tibetan Buddhism. Snow Lion Publications, 1995.
Reeves, Gene. The Stories of the Lotus Sutra. Wisdom Publications, 2010.
Stewart, Stanley. In the Empire of Genghis Khan. Lyons Press, 2002.
Thanissaro Bhikkhu, tr. Dhammapada: A Translation. Dhamma Dana Publications, 1998.
Thurman, Robert A. F. Essential Tibetan Buddhism. HarperSanFrancisco, 1995.
Weatherford, Jack. Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World. Broadway Books, 2004. Much of the description of Chinggis Khaan on this page–this page comes from this source.
Films
Cave of the Yellow Dog, 2005, dir. Byambasuren Davaa
The Eagle Huntress, 2016, dir. Otto Bell
The Little Buddha, 1993, dir. Bernardo Bertolucci
My Reincarnation, 2011, dir. Jennifer Fox
The Story of the Weeping Camel, 2003, dir. Byambasuren Davaa and Luigi Falomi
Unmistaken Child, 2008, dir. Nati Baratz
On this page, Uncle’s “favorite poet” is Rumi. The excerpts are from Rumi: The Big Red Book, translated by Coleman Barks (New York: HarperOne, 2011).
A handful of images (e.g., this page: “rising up rooted like a tree”) were inspired by Rilke’s Book of Hours: Love Poems to God, translated by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy.
A Note About the Author
Born in Saigon and raised on Boston’s north shore, Quan Barry is the author of the novels She Weeps Each Time You’re Born and We Ride Upon Sticks (winner of the 2020 ALA Alex Award and one of NPR and Time magazine’s Best Books of 2020) and of four books of poetry, including Water Puppets (winner of the AWP Donald Hall Prize for Poetry and a PEN Open Book finalist). Barry is the 2021–2022 writer-in-residence at Forward Theater. She teaches at the University of Wisconsin–Madison, where she is the Lorraine Hansberry Professor of English.
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Quan Barry, When I'm Gone, Look for Me in the East
