“His name is Theo?” my mom interrupts with a purr. She leans against the edge of my counter top, batting her surgically implanted eyelashes. “Do tell me more.”

  I release a heavy sigh, knowing she won’t give up until I share some details. “He’s not my usual type.”

  “You mean boring and mediocre looking, like Stefan?”

  “Come on, Mom. Stefan was a nice guy.”

  “So’s my gynecologist,” she remarks in a dry tone. “Doesn’t mean I want to become roommates with the guy for half a decade.”

  Unable to resist, I laugh. “There’s something about Theo that I really like. I’m couldn’t tell you why I was so drawn to him initially, because he was seriously grumpy and didn’t want to engage in any conversations with me. But then he kissed me, and it was like the dam between us burst. The sparks have been intense ever since.”

  My mom claps her hands with the zest of a cheerleader. “Oh, Sterling! Maybe he’s your soulmate!”

  I tell myself it wouldn’t be nice to laugh when I recall how many times she's declared a man to be her soulmate. I almost feel sorry for her, knowing she still clings to the hope of such a thing after she thought she’d be married to my father forever. “Mom, have you ever had an experience of déjà vu with such clarity that you couldn’t deal with it? Like, you feel as if you’ve been in that exact same situation before?”

  Swatting a hand through the air, my mother giggles. “Babe, my life is one big case of déjà vu. Especially now that I’m working with Aaron Sandwell on yet another film. Fans deemed us the ultimate power couple after No Regrets, so now they want more of us together.”

  “That’s different. This was…just eerie. Theo took me to this park and I literally passed out when I felt as if I’d been in that exact same spot before. I almost wonder if…I don’t know…maybe I’m somehow connecting with a real person…reliving their experiences.”

  “Sterling!” she scolds, her eyes growing wide. “This has something to do with that girl you used to dream about when you were little, doesn’t it? Are you dreaming about her again?”

  “I never stopped,” I admit, tipping my chin downward.

  She lets out one of her overly dramatic breaths. “This would be a better conversation to have with your aunt Constantine. She’d be able to tell you why those things happen. She spent time in India when she was your age, learned all about karma and that kind of thing from the Hindus and Buddhists. She may even understand why you would have a connection with that girl.” With one hand on her hip, her gaze darts around the open space, landing on the blue velvet chair. “Sterling, where in the fresh hell is the rest of your furniture? Where do you and this captivating carpenter sit when he comes over? Where do you eat?”

  Heat spreads down my neck as I remember sitting half-naked on the counter top while Theo fed me the remains of the charred chicken between steamy kisses. “I’m waiting until the house is finished so I can buy something that fits the space.”

  “That’s ridiculous. Let’s go pick something out. You can’t except to maintain an adult relationship with a man when your house is more barren than a college dormitory.”

  As I try to come up with an excuse to turn her down, there’s a blunt knock on the door. Eyes wide with panic, I resist the juvenile idea to tell my mom to hide. Instead I point at her on my way to answer the door. “Please try to behave. I’ll never talk to you again if you scare him away.”

  Her green eyes sparkle with mischief. “I swear on my Golden Globe I’ll behave.”

  I nearly forget I’m only wearing a robe until Theo’s eyes darken on my cleavage. “Glad I decided to come by early,” he growls, wrapping his arm around my waist and yanking me closer before I can protest. I completely forget my mom is behind me when his lips meld with mine and his fingers slips beneath my robe to caress one of my breasts.

  Then my mom clears her throat. “This must be the carpenter.”

  Theo jerks away like he’s been electrocuted. Laughing, I tug my robe back into place before wrapping my fingers around his. I can’t exactly blame myself for getting carried away, considering how he sexy looks in a black short sleeved shirt and khaki shorts.

  “I promise you’ll survive what I’m about to drag you into,” I whisper before leading him inside.

  When my mom greets him with a cat-like smile, Theo’s expression turns blank. I know from experience her perfection can be intimidating. I didn’t get a chance to ask if the director had released her after she’d already spent time in hair and makeup, although I suspect that’s the case since her dark waves and bronzed cheeks appear camera-ready.

  I coil myself around his bulging arm and giggle. “Mom, this is Theo.”

  She slinks over to him with her hands held out, expecting a hug. “I’m delighted to meet you, Theo.”

  He awkwardly bends long enough for her arms to wrap around him. “Ma’am,” he chokes out when she releases him with a kiss on the cheek. His eyes snap over to me. “You didn’t mention you’d have company today.”

  “That’s because she didn’t know,” my mom tells him. “I wanted it to be a surprise. And don’t you worry, I’m only in town for the day. You two lovebirds can enjoy a quiet evening alone.”

  I squeeze his bicep and flash an apologetic smile. “I’ll swing by your place after I drop her at the airport.”

  “That’s not what I was implying, Sterling,” she scolds in the same voice she used when I was a little girl. “I'd love it if Theo would spend the day with us so I can get to know the man who’s apparently swept my fiercely independent daughter off her feet!” She tilts her head at Theo with one of her award-winning smiles. “We’re going furniture shopping and could use the help of someone who knows a thing or two about good craftsmanship. We can go for a late lunch afterwards. It’ll be my treat!”

  I glance up at him, mildly amused by the way he squirms. “Sure,” he grunts.

  “Lovely!” My mom pats my arm, eyeing my robe like she’s just realizing it’s several seasons behind. “Babe, go get dressed. In the time it takes you to get ready, Theo and I will get to know each other a little better.”

  Part of me doesn’t want to leave the room, curious how much information my mom can actually extort from him. But being the obedient daughter I’ve always been, I tug on his arm until he bends low enough for me to kiss his cheek. “Sorry,” I mouth with a sympathetic look before hurrying back to my room, knowing every second I’m away he’ll be tortured.

  Theo takes us to see a Desert Storm veteran who makes custom furniture superior to anything else we could buy in town. After we put in a large order, the three of us spend a leisurely afternoon in a chic steakhouse downtown called Number 4 where red velvet drapes, dark leather booths, and dim lighting afford us the kind of privacy my mom appreciates.

  When Theo and I drop her at the airport, I release a deep breath, wondering when I’d last taken any kind of breath. My mom had spent far too much time drilling Theo with uncomfortable questions before I finally pulled her aside and warned her she was crossing a major line.

  “But he’s so much older than you,” she’d said, cupping my face in her hands. “I don’t understand how someone so talented and handsome has gone this far in life without any kind of partner the way he claims.”

  In the end, she respected my request and shifted the conversation to her hectic life and stories of my childhood. It was a chance for Theo to see her as the often flaky yet sometimes nurturing mother I know her to be. Thankfully she stuck to one glass of champagne since she had to report to the set early in the morning and didn’t want puffy eyes. There’s no telling how it would’ve gone if she’d been in a celebratory mood, like the night she won her first Oscar and called me the next afternoon, having no idea how she’d ended up in the Hawaiian home of a billionaire.

  “I’m so, so sorry,” I say as Theo merges my BMW onto the highway. When I comb my fingers through the thick hair on top of his head, I don’t miss the subtle way he leans into my hand like a stray animal starved for attention. “I swear I had no idea she was coming today. And she’s a lot to process, I know. I hated how she drilled you about your family. I should’ve stopped her sooner.”

  He doesn’t say a word in response, doesn’t look my way. Joining my hands in my lap, I press my lips together as tears of frustration and disappointment sting the back of my eyes. Although he was a good sport all day, flashing my mother deep smiles that showcased his enduring dimples, I sense he’s done with me. I can’t really blame him, considering we haven’t even declared ourselves to be a couple and he was already ambushed into meeting my drama queen of a mother.

  I decide to give him an easy out. “If you’re too tired to hang out tonight, I totally understand. We probably both need to take a step back after today, slow things down a bit.”

  After a long stretch of silence, he finally speaks. “You and your mom are close.”

  Relief washes over me. With someone like him, a change of subject is usually a good sign. Maybe he’s not quite ready to run yet. “We’re not as close as you’d think. She was gone a lot when I was little, filming on far away locations like London and Greece. I usually only got to visit her on set during the holidays.”

  “Never really had any kind of relationship with my mom. And my father…” He works his jaw with a mournful shake of his head. “Let’s just say he was an asshole.”

  Pain crackles through my soul. As someone who has worked with juveniles for several years, I know all too well what he’s implying. I remove his right hand from the steering wheel to kiss his knuckles, then twist my fingers around his. “I’m sorry, Theo.”

  “I ran away when I was seventeen,” he continues, “lived with my mom’s aunt in Seattle for a few months and finished school before I met with a recruiter. I vowed I’d never return to Mankato, never set foot in this state again. There are too many painful memories here. Too many ghosts.”

  Ghosts? I think, wondering if he means it in the literal sense. Squeezing his hand, I swallow the lump of emotion growing in the base of my throat and silently plead for him to continue.

  His eyes dart between me and the road. “For the first time since I decided to move back, I can finally say I’m glad I did.” His hand tightens around mine. “Being with you makes the dark shit hurt a little less.”

  13

  JACKIE - 1986

  The day after J.R. told his dad what Diane thought she heard in the strange man’s backyard, J.R. isn’t waiting for me after school like he’s done every day since school started. I rush home to call him, but no one picks up at his house. I practically pounce on Diane when she finally arrives home from the arcade.

  “Did you see J.R. in school today?”

  She tosses her ratty old backpack onto the couch and glares back at me. “Why? Jealous that we go to the same school and you’re still in elementary?”

  “Did you see him?” I repeat in a growl.

  “No. But it’s not like we have any of the same classes.”

  I pace on the avocado green carpet in the living room as I wonder what to do next. I could sneak over to his house and see if he’s okay since his dad is probably at work. But what if his dad is home, guarding J.R. to make sure he doesn’t leave? Maybe I could go to a public phone and call the police, say I’m a concerned citizen who’d heard yelling at his house. But it could make J.R.’s dad even more angry. What if he suspects J.R. called them?

  Diane watches me with her hands on her hips. “What are you freaking about?”

  “Someone needs to check on him. You don’t know how mean his dad can get.”

  “Did you try calling him?”

  “Yes, Diane,” I snarl. “No one answered.”

  She begins chewing on her nails. “I’m sure he’s fine.” Her eyes strain with worry. “Maybe he has the flu or something.”

  For the first time in my life, I want to punch my sister. I want to see her cry. I want her to be equally as scared and angry as I am that J.R. is missing, and no one is doing anything about it. Sometimes she acts like everything’s a big joke. She thinks she’s too smart to have gotten J.R. into trouble.

  “If something bad happened to him, it’s all your fault!” I yell, storming off to my room.

  I ignore her for the rest of the night and only leave once to grab a slice of bread, and three other times to call J.R.’s house.

  The last time I call, it’s nearly eleven.

  I’m greeted by his dad’s deep voice, gruff with irritation. “Hello?”

  I hang up.

  On Friday, I walk around school like a zombie and have a hard time staying awake in my classes. I’d only slept a couple of hours after calling J.R.’s house. I was desperate enough for help that I waited for the sounds of my mom returning from work, but the trailer remained silent.

  It ends up being the longest school day on record. To make it a little more painful, the fifth and sixth graders are called into the gymnasium for an assembly at the end of the day when I’m even sleepier from a second helping of the school’s square pizza slices at lunch. I find a quiet spot in the far back corner of the bleachers where no one will bother me. Maybe the teachers won’t notice if I doze off a little.

  The thud of my heart shakes me wide-awake when two city police offers enter the gymnasium with J.R.’s dad right behind them.

  Just like when he’d been on the evening news, J.R.’s dad is well dressed in a suit and tie, and carries himself like he’s someone of great importance. I hate that he’s handsome and looks so much like his son. I hate the way Principal Fredrickson greets him with an excited smile and a big handshake, like he’s some kind of famous person. I hate him for being here when his son might be all alone at home, and in pain.

  It’s the first time I’ve believed in real monsters.

  An excited chatter echoes throughout the building until Principal Fredrickson steps in front of the crowd, yelling into a microphone for us to settle down. Eventually, it’s quiet enough to hear a pin drop.

  “Boys and girls,” Principal Fredrickson begins, his shiny bald head reflecting the gymnasium’s lights, “as everyone is all too aware by now, three young women from our community have gone missing. While we continue to pray for their safety, and hope they find their way back home, these police officers and this detective are here to tell you how you can help with their search as well as ways to stay safe.”

  He hands the microphone off to one of the officers. I’m unable to focus on what he’s saying because I’m too busy staring a hole into J.R.’s dad. It’s the only time I can remember totally hating someone’s guts before I’ve met them. I’m the only one in the gymnasium who knows his secret, that he’s not as charming as he’d like everyone to believe. He’s cruel to his own son, and all the adults in this community are trusting him to help save other kids.

  The bitter taste of bile fills my throat when he takes the microphone from the officer. “I’d like to add to the stranger-danger bit,” he tells us, gesturing with with his free hand the way President Reagan does on TV. “While it’s certainly okay to ride with a family member or a trusted friend of the family, you should never get into a car with anyone else. Even if it’s someone from the community you’ve seen every day of your life, or a neighbor you don’t know all too well. Travel in groups and obey the curfew. Mayor Perkins put the curfew in effect for your safety. The young men in this room are tasked with protecting the young ladies of this community in any way possible. It’s our hope that we can put an end to these unexplained disappearances, and keep everyone in this room safe.”

  The deep roll of his voice causes goosebumps to break out along my arms. I cradle my stomach, worried I’m going to lose my lunch when he continues speaking.

  “As far as the old adage—‘if you see something, say something’—goes, it’s more important than ever that you contact local law enforcement if you observe anything unusual, or even if you remember anything you may have seen involving Becky, Heidi, or Shannon before they went missing. Someone knows something that can help us track them down and bring them back home to their families. Thank you for your cooperation. Be safe this weekend and make good choices.”

  My stomach lurches when he hands the microphone to Principal Fredrickson. How can he stand in front of us and say those things after he punished his own son for trying to report the very kind of thing he mentioned?

  The only bit of comfort I get from seeing J.R.’s dad with my own eyes is that it means J.R. hasn’t gone missing-missing like Becky and the others. Surely his dad wouldn’t be here talking to us if, like with the girls, J.R. has completely disappeared without an explanation. Surely he’s safely tucked in bed at home, hiding whatever injury his dad gave him this time.

  I shudder when I wonder what exactly his dad may have done.

  I may be in way over my head.

  Once we’re dismissed, I stay glued to the bleachers, watching J.R.’s dad talk with Principal Fredrickson and the officers. He says something that makes all three of them laugh. One of the officers even pats him on the shoulder like they’re old pals.

  It might be the perfect time to tell J.R.’s dad what I know about Becky’s dad doing stuff to her with other responsible adults around. At least J.R.’s dad couldn’t hurt me. And like he said, once they learn Becky’s dad didn’t treat her right, maybe it’ll somehow help them find Becky.

  But I can’t find the courage to stand and walk over to the man who broke my friend’s arm and gave him a black eye. I can’t look him in the eye while he’s pretending to be anything other than the monster his son knows. I don’t know how to pretend everything is okay when I want to scream at him and demand he take me to his son.

  No one notices me tucked away in the corner when the four men leave the gymnasium.

  I’m sick with worry by the time I make it outside and J.R. is nowhere to be seen.

  Tears sting my eyes as I run all the way home, gulping in icy air with every ragged breath.