Rubbing his taut stomach, his gaze skipped to the kitchen. “That pasta smells delicious.”

  “I’m still not as good of a cook as Gigi was, but my daughter claims I make a mean manicotti. It’ll be ready in fifteen minutes.” She started for the refrigerator. “Pinot Grigio okay?”

  “I’ll drink anything,” he said. “I was sorry to hear Gigi had passed all those years ago. She was an interesting character, and helluva cook.”

  “At least she died peacefully, in her sleep.” What else could she say? Her mom had only been gone two years before she lost her sole remaining family member. She’d taken Gigi’s death hard. Liz had been the only one around to keep her afloat.

  Her fingers worked against her bare neck, desperate for the comfort of the necklace from the kids. She must’ve forgotten to put it back on after her last shower. While she opened the bottle of wine, she heard him slide one of the stools out from underneath the island.

  “Will I be meeting your daughter tonight?”

  “You certainly don’t waste any time.” She spun around, setting her hands on her hips, eyebrows raised. “If I invite you for dinner a second time, can I expect you to ask for my hand in marriage so you can leave me at the altar?”

  He lowered his chin, eyes heavy with guilt. “I was merely hoping to find out if she’s as beautiful and witty as her mom.”

  Her cheeks warmed even more as she busied herself by filling two wine glasses. In all the years she’d been with Matt, he’d never complimented her that way. “My children are witty alright, but that’s a trait they inherited from their father.” She handed him a glass. “As for their appearances, Gavin is a doppelgänger of Matt, and Gwen looks a lot like Bella.”

  Ben shifted in his chair and averted his eyes away. “Gavin and Gwen,” he commented before taking a sip of his wine. “Is there a correlation between the fact that we’re listening to a musician with your son’s name who was married to a woman with your daughter’s name? I seem to remember you had a bit of an obsession with Gwen Stefani.”

  “You’re quicker than my children,” she admitted with a soft laugh. “I’m not sure if they ever figured that out, even though I still listen to this record all the time. The kids would probably be weirded out if they knew their namesakes had procreated.”

  His lips shifted into a smirk. “I’m still a fan of grunge rock too.”

  She was struck with a fond memory from their childhood. “Do you remember when Kurt Cobain died?”

  “You cried,” Ben recalled with a glimmer in his eyes. “A lot. You were already bummed when Nirvana had pulled out of the ‘Palooza lineup because your mom got us tickets.”

  “Then we saw the Beastie Boys rip up the stage, and I fell in love.”

  He wiggled his eyebrows. “You mean you fell in love with Adam Yauch.”

  Belly fluttering, she laughed with caution. The handsome agent was still a bit of a stranger, but she was dangerously close to falling in love with him all over again. “They’re still one of my favorites,” she confessed. “I was even more torn up when Adam died.”

  An awkward silence settled between them as the needle lifted off of the vinyl. Wine glass in hand, she hurried over to flip it around. “Anything new on Nicole?” she asked over her shoulder.

  “We’re still looking into anyone who may have a reason to want her to disappear.”

  She turned to him. “Like me?”

  Frowning, he shook his head a little. “You told me you didn’t wish her any harm. Was I not supposed to believe you?”

  “What about Tom?”

  Ben’s blue eyes locked with hers as he leisurely took a sip from his glass. He then set it back down on the island and shrugged. “What about him?”

  “Isn’t the husband usually the first suspect?”

  “I know you were never a fan of his.” Head tilted, he draped his arm over the back of the stool. “But do you have another reason to suspect he would do something to his wife?”

  “You remember what Tom was like in high school. He always had serious anger issues,” she said, hoping to plant a seed of interest in his mind. “When Matt mentioned the sheriff had reached a dead end trying to locate Nicole through her cell phone, he said Tom was angry. Maybe he was angry because they were too close to the truth.” She gulped more wine for courage. “And…let’s not forget he was there the night Bella went missing.”

  “Do you think I could ever forget?” With a thoughtful look, Ben shook his head. “He was in Minneapolis for business over the weekend—his alibi checks out. He was able to provide receipts, witnesses.”

  Doubt weighed heavily on Mia’s shoulders. Someone with Tom’s resources could easily bribe their way into an air-tight alibi. “So that’s it? You simply let him off the hook without any further investigation?”

  His blue eyes warmed with empathy. “This must be especially unsettling for you, Mia. I know the details of your accident last year.”

  Dread rocketed down her spine. How deep had he dug into her past? Had she been that serious of a suspect? “Sounds like you know every pathetic detail of my life since we last saw each other.”

  “I wouldn’t call anything about your life pathetic.”

  A sudden burst of irritation licked at her insides. She wasn’t going to let him judge her for what she’d been through. “Hardly fair you know so much about me when I haven’t heard a damn thing from you since you walked out on me seventeen years ago!” she spat, marching up to him. Rage consumed her with the force of a raging forest fire. “What else did you learn from my file? Did it tell you that I overdosed on pain meds after the accident? Did it tell you about my dark battle with depression, and the fact that I haven’t been able to leave the house for more than a handful of hours at a time?”

  The muscles in his jaw jumped. “Nothing about this situation is ideal, Mia. I don’t like the fact that I was forced to dig into your background. But I’d like to think I still know you. And I’ve been trained to read people by their mannerisms…the way they speak…the expression in their eyes. When I first came to your door this afternoon, I saw a lonely woman who, despite her struggles and unimaginable heartache, is fueled with enough self-confidence to tell a federal agent who was once her lover to go fuck himself. I liked what I saw. A lot. I wish we’d been reunited under different circumstances. Truth be told, I wish I hadn’t let all those years lapse between us. I wish I would’ve stuck around after your mom died so you wouldn’t have ended up in a shitty marriage with that prick.”

  Air whooshed from her lungs. She hadn’t realized how much she’d wished that too until the words had been spoken aloud. “Yet here we are.”

  “Yet here we are,” he agreed solemnly. He paused to lick his generous lips. “I returned to California after I left you to earn a degree in homeland security. I guess I was still haunted by the fact that no one knew what happened to your sister. My mom passed away twelve years ago, my old man thirteen. I don’t have any family left, except for an elderly aunt in Louisiana who’s hardly anything more than a stranger.” He hooked Mia around her waist, hauling her close and paralyzing her breath. “My closest friend is my partner with the bureau’s husband, and I only see him a couple times every month. I live in a two-bedroom apartment in D.C. near Capitol Hill. I’ve had a few serious relationships, but I’ve never been married, and I don’t have any kids. I told myself there isn’t room for anyone else in my life. I’m always on the road, traveling all over the country for work.” Their lips were tauntingly close when his sky-blue eyes dusted over her face. “Truth is, I never really got over you.”

  With a hard swallow, Mia struggled to regain her breath. “You’re the one who left, dammit,” she breathed out. “Why are you telling me these things?”

  “Because I’m still in love with you,” he answered before pressing his mouth against hers.

  Ben’s resolve smashed to bits when she’d mentioned her overdose. He couldn’t prevent himself from touching her a moment longer. He had royally screwed up when he’d left her, and he owed her everything. She surprised him by throwing herself into the kiss with greedy nibbles of his bottom lip and deep strokes of her tongue against his. He feared she’d never forgive him, even though he believed his reason for leaving had been noble. From the way she consumed him, hands eagerly wandering and groping, he was certain she still loved him despite his mistakes.

  Unlike when they’d fooled around all those years ago, she kissed with confidence and ease. He warned himself to stay disciplined, and block any lingering thoughts of how she’d slept with Matt for almost two decades. He yearned to tell her the real reason he’d left all those years ago, but his mind turned blank with the silky slide of her body against him, the urgent press of her soft lips. She tasted of wine, and smelled like the same rosemary and mint shampoo he’d remembered.

  As he lifted her into his arms and carried her through the open door of her bedroom, its contents spun around him with dizzying flashes of light. She’d always been his world. His everything. And he was finally being given the opportunity to consume her in the way he’d dreamed as an awkward sixteen-year-old, then yearned as a young Marine fresh out of the military. Not a damn thing could stop him from making it happen.

  He set her down on the king mattress and she rose onto her knees, tearing at his button-down. Among the gentle sounds of the lake lapping the shoreline through the open windows, buttons pinged into the headboard. She tugged at his shorts, his boxers, rendering him naked. Her hands were everywhere at once, testing his restraint.

  Needing to feel her supple skin against his before he embarrassed himself, he pulled back to draw her dress over her head. His eyes greedily drank in her glorious beauty like a man left for dead in the desert. She hadn’t worn a bra, only a tiny pair of white underwear that dipped below her full hips. She’d put on some weight, probably after having children, and he appreciated the extra curves it provided. In the light of the full moon spilling down the tall windows above her bed, the golden glow of her naturally colored hair down to her elbows became highlighted, the gentle angles of her delicate face and full swells of her generous breasts accentuated. Her dark eyes shone like deep pools of decadent chocolate, beckoning him to claim her. Everything about her fulfilled his deepest, darkest fantasies.

  “I love you, Mia,” he whispered, tears thick in his throat. He reached out to stroke a hand along her lovely cheek. “Always have, always will.”

  Tears shimmered in her eyes as she turned her face into his hand, dropping a soft kiss against the palm of it before drawing him back down to her lips. He wanted her to feel the depths of his love, to make her bask in divine pleasure. He wanted to give her everything. What had the beautiful siren done to him? It was the first time he could remember completely letting his guard down, and letting someone see him for who he really was. It was the first time he’d let someone in without giving a damn about the impression he was making. He was relenting the discipline he’d learned in the academy. Relinquishing all control.

  With a garbled moan, he laid her back on the mattress and removed her thong. He then took a heavy breast in his mouth, sinking his teeth into her soft flesh and using his hands on her. She responded with breathy sighs and the rise of her hips seeking his touch. “I want to feel you, Ben,” she whispered. “All of you. I’ve waited far too long.”

  Before he lost his mind, he gladly sank into her. A tidal wave of pleasure belted into him as he gave every piece of himself to her, kissing the hot tears that fell from her eyes before reclaiming her mouth. He became lost in her warmth, and blinded by her beauty when she dropped her head back and cried out. She drove him to the brink of insanity and back. He was drowning in her, and never wanted to come up for air.

  When she broke for him, he broke right along with her, riding the final bolt of pleasure until it fizzled to an end. His hammering heart gave a jolt as he rolled onto his back at her side, sweaty and spent. He’d finally found his home.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Mia opened her eyes with the squeak of door hinges. The swallows chirped outside her window in their usual gleeful morning chatter as light spilled into her bedroom from the attached bathroom. Ben emerged from a cloud of steam with one of her fluffy gray towels wrapped around his waist, thick blond hair wet from a shower. Beads of water streamed down his toned, muscular chest. She’d been thrilled to discover he was still a fan of physical fitness, and had marveled at the way all those glorious muscles had twisted and flexed as he made love to her. Once again, it was a treat to behold his rippling arm and shoulder covered with the skilled illustration of a brilliant phoenix.

  He flashed an adorably youthful smile. “Good morning, beautiful.”

  A flush spread up her spine when she realized she was still naked. She pulled the rumpled bed sheet over her chest and sat upright. “I’m a little rusty on dating culture,” she admitted. “I don’t really know how to do this morning after business.”

  “Me neither,” he said with a chuckle. “But it’s not like we’re strangers.”

  Since he lived in D.C. and wouldn’t be in town for long, she assumed it was nothing more than a one-night stand. But sex with him had been a long time coming, and she wouldn’t mind doing it again if given the chance. “I had fun. I’m glad you came over.”

  One of his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “Fun? That’s it? Am I being dismissed?”

  “Were you hoping for a meaningful speech on how our paths must’ve crossed again for some deep-seated reason, and how you’re the best I’ve ever had?”

  “That’d be a good start.” Repositioning the towel around his waist, he lowered to the mattress at her side.“I was hoping we could plan for dinner again. Tonight.”

  “Is that what we’re calling burnt manicotti and sex? Dinner?” Beyond the scent of her shampoo and body wash, she could still smell his dark masculinity. It called to her in a way she couldn’t fight. She dusted her fingertips over the phoenix’s tale, deciding she’d recreate the illustration in a painting. “Gwen will be home tonight.” She dropped her hand and slid off the bed. She couldn’t let herself get attached when history proved he wouldn’t be sticking around. “In fact, she could be home any minute.”

  “We wouldn’t have to meet up here.”

  Before turning back to him, she grabbed an oversized t-shirt from her chest of drawers, and slipped it over her head. “Are you suggesting I swing by your hotel room for a booty call?”

  He flinched. “I’d prefer to think of it as something else, like two consenting adults making each other feel a little less lonely, and finally reconnecting after a lifetime of regrets. Besides, I’m hoping for more than that. I’d like to get reacquainted with you…hear how you’ve been beyond what was in your file.”

  “How long will you be in town?”

  “It all depends on how long the sheriff wants the feds involved in their task force,” he admitted truthfully. “Could be a few more days, or it could be several months.”

  Having figured as much, she nodded. “Gwen’s had a tough week. I’m not going to blow her off for some man I haven’t seen since before she was born.” She eyed him with desire pulling at her belly. “But…she’s scheduled to work all weekend for a big party the resort puts on every year. If you’re still around on Friday, we can meet up again.” Eyes narrowed, she wagged her finger at him. “Don’t expect anything serious to come out of this. Like you said, we’re two consenting adults looking to have a good time, and keep each other company. You won’t get anything more from me. After Matt, I’m not interested in starting a relationship with anyone again—probably ever.” It was a bold lie, but a necessary one that would protect her heart.

  “I can respect that.” With a wry smile, he stood to take her in his arms, kissing her until they were both breathless. Eventually he pulled his head back, eyes gleaming with something that made her believe he’d need another shower. “But you and I both know I’m not just ‘anyone’.”

  After Ben left, Mia was acutely aware of the extra spring in her step. The sex had been phenomenal, and she’d enjoyed his company more than she wanted to admit. She was angry with herself when she’d agreed to meet with him again. It already felt as if her life was turning upside down with Nicole’s disappearance, and he was an unwanted distraction. Worse yet, it was becoming increasingly hard not to tell him everything that had happened when she felt she’d passed the point of no return.

  She made her daughter’s favorite breakfast of bacon and poached eggs with English muffins before Gwen’s early shift at the resort. After putting her plate in the dishwasher, Gwen kissed her on the cheek and thanked her for breakfast. When Mia pulled her in for a firm hug, Gwen stiffened in her hold. “You’re awfully chipper this morning. What’s up?”

  “It’s a new day.” Mia backed away and shrugged. “Have you seen the necklace you and Gav gave me?”

  “You lost it?”

  “I’m sure it’s around here somewhere.” She dropped a kiss against her daughter’s head. “Have a great day, sweetheart.”

  Gwen threw her backpack over her shoulder and rolled her eyes. “Whatever, weirdo.”

  Mere moments after the door closed behind her, Mia was startled by the sound of Gavin’s voice. “She’s right. You’re in an excellent mood.”

  With one hand held over her chest, Mia turned to him with a shaky smile. “What are you doing here?”

  Once again, he wore khaki shorts and the blue polo shirt featuring the Shady Oaks logo. His dark hair was neatly combed, and there was a spark in his green eyes. “You’ll never get rid of me.” Grinning, he sat on the same stool his sister had occupied moments before. “Are you going to tell me why you’re in such high spirits?”

  “I had someone over last night, and I actually enjoyed myself.”

  Gavin’s eyebrows shot upward, and his eyes twinkled teasingly. “Someone as in a man?”