Decebel was shaking his head as he answered gently, "No, baby, I don't. I wish more than anything that I did."

  "Then how can you say that to me? How can you want to taste my blood?"

  Decebel tried really hard not to touch her but it was impossible. He could no more keep his hands from her than he could stop the tide from rolling in. He took her hand and rubbed his thumb gently across it.

  "My wolf knows its mate. He remembers you. Even if I didn't want to stay here with you, even if I didn't want to remember you, remember the love I had for you, he wouldn't let me walk out of this room. If I leave your side even for second, he gets feral."

  "Why?" Jen asked, genuinely not understanding.

  "There is nothing more dangerous than a dominant male Canis lupus when his mate is injured and helpless. But I need you to understand, my wolf is not the only one who wants you, Jennifer. I want you. I need you to help me remember."

  Jen was hurting and her body was desperately fighting to sink back into oblivion, but with the help of Decebel's blood, she was able to hold off the compulsion. She watched in utter disbelief as a tear escaped Decebel's eye. His jaw clenched and though he looked vulnerable, nothing about him looked weak or any less threatening.

  He continued to stroke her hand as he talked. "I need you to remind me who I am." Decebel met her eyes, knowing the next words out of his mouth were going to be difficult ones.

  "They...they know what will break the curse."

  Jen's eyes widened. "Then why are we sitting here discussing me somehow trying to fill in your memories?"

  "Because love is what breaks the curse." Decebel watched as Jennifer's breath became shallow. He didn't want to hurt her, it was the last thing on earth he wanted. His wolf was angry that he was causing her pain and pushing at him to give him control. "I want to love you, Jennifer. I want to love you more than anything. But wanting it and doing it are not the same when it comes to the curse. I look at you and I feel something. You draw me in and I long to be near you – not just my wolf, me, the man longs to be close to you."

  Jen was shaking while she listened to the man she loved more than anything tell her he didn't love her. Oh, he wants to love her, well loddie-freaking-dah. She wants to get up off the damn bed and hit him with a 2x4, but, as she always says, wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up first.

  She didn't realize she had tuned him out until she heard “Blood Rites” and “break the curse” in the same sentence.

  "Wait, excuse me, say that again?"

  Decebel took a deep breath. It was obvious he was getting frustrated. "I said, Vasile thinks that if we perform the Blood Rites it will pull the veiled emotions to the forefront. And it's the only thing that will save your life. Your wolf needs her mate. She's no longer dormant, and when the bond was severed between us, the darkness in me reached across to you. You won't live just on my blood, Jennifer."

  The pain that was tightening Jen's chest began to turn to anger and disbelief at Vasile's suggestion.

  "He wants us to bond because he thinks it will break the curse? Really? Are you freaking kidding me?" She didn't even bother with the whole saving her life bit, she wasn't going to touch that with a fifty-foot pole.

  Decebel was taken aback by the venom in her voice.

  "You're my mate. Why wouldn't we bond?"

  Jen looked at him in disbelief. Decebel turned his head as he ran his hand through his hair. It was then that Jen saw the markings on Decebel's neck. Markings that hadn't been there before. She reached up slowly, grinding her teeth against the pain, and gripped his chin, turning his head even more so she could get a good look.

  "Your markings changed?"

  Decebel smiled the heart-stopping grin that always made her want to crawl up in his lap and purr. By the slight smirk on his beautiful face, it was obvious he knew the effect it was having on her whether he remembered her or not.

  "Yes, they changed."

  Jen nearly jumped, then groaned at the hurt it caused, as Decebel reached for the hem of her shirt and began to raise it. Her eyes widened as she saw the markings – identical to Decebel's – running along her right side, starting below the waist of her sweats and continuing up. Without conscious thought to what she might be showing Decebel, she continued to pull up her shirt to look at the markings as they traveled up to just beside her right breast. Jen didn't realize Decebel had been tracing the marks with his finger until he caught himself and cleared his throat. He took her shirt from her and pulled it back down.

  She didn't know what to say. Part of her was happy beyond belief, part of her was ticked off that it happened while her mate didn't have a clue who the bloody hell she was, and still another part of her was pissed because of the location.

  "Why did it have to be there?" she groaned.

  Decebel narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Why does it bother you to be on your side?"

  "Fane freaks out anytime someone sees Jacque's marks."

  "As he should," Decebel growled.

  "Oh, keep your panties on, Decebel. I'm ticked because I imagine, if you ever remember me, that you will be even worse than Fane about it. Which means I no longer get to wear bikinis. So, so not cool. Do you know how old a one piece is going to make me look?"

  Decebel was shaking his head at her when he spoke. "You just found out that we have yet another confirmation that we are mates, and you're concerned about bathing suits?"

  "You'll get used to it," Jen said absently. She closed her eyes briefly, trying to gather her strength.

  "You need to rest," Decebel told her, his words a command.

  Jen opened her eyes and cut them up at him without moving her head. "I will rest after I have said my peace."

  "Are you always this unreasonable?"

  "No," Jen smiled sweetly, "usually I'm worse." She held his stare – something only Vasile was allowed to do. "I won't bond with you." She ignored the growl coming from Decebel's chest. "I won't perform the Blood Rites with a man who doesn't even remember me. If I understand correctly from Jacque, the act of performing the Blood Rites is even more intimate than sex."

  "You are my mate." Decebel was trying to keep his calm, he didn't want to scare her. "You bear my marks, we share a mental bond, my wolf knows you, and you love me."

  His last words were a slap in Jen's face.

  "I love my Decebel, MINE! You are not him. So, don't you dare try to use my love as leverage to get what you want."

  "I want YOU!" Decebel stood up from the bed and was fighting the phase. His eyes were glowing bright amber. "You are mine, Jennifer, and if the Blood Rites are what will save your life, then that is what we will do."

  "I'm not a bloody possession, wolf. And if I were, I sure as hell wouldn't belong to someone who doesn't know who I am." Jen hated that there were tears running down her cheeks, hated that someone had that much power over her.

  "You act as if it's my fault that I don't remember you. I wouldn't have been cursed if you hadn't asked me to save your friends. I let you talk me into leaving you, my mate, to die. You must make me weak if I would leave you to that fate. I can't imagine choosing anyone over my mate, ever."

  Jen's mouth had dropped open when Decebel had said she made him weak; he had spit it out like it was disgusting. Her hands were balled into fists and she thought she might break a tooth from clenching her jaw so tight. But he wasn't done. He obviously felt like he hadn't stomped on her heart enough.

  Decebel knelt down on her side of the bed, getting within inches of her face. He was shaking with rage as he ground out his words.

  "I won't give you up. I won't go back to a lonely, dark existence. I won't let your selfishness take your life from me, take my mate from me. I don’t remember how we were before, maybe I gave into your every whim, maybe I cowered under your obviously Alpha nature, but no more. I am your mate, it is my job to protect you – even from yourself."

  Jen could hardly breathe as she listened to Decebel, her mate, her love, dictate to her and call her selfish and completely disregard her feelings. She was about to tell him to get the hell out of her room, without hitting him. But he just couldn't leave it at that. He had to continue to be an asshole dominant who thought everyone should bow to him.

  "I may never be the man I was before the curse, I may never be the man you loved, and I may never love you. But fate gave you to me and we will learn to make the best of it."

  Nothing on earth, not her weakness or pain, not the blood she could feel beginning to flow from her nose and ears, not even her love for this wolf could have stopped her.

  Jen pulled her hand back and slapped Decebel as hard as she could across his face, a face that she longed to look at for the rest of her life. She shook as tears poured from her eyes. She could hardly see as she reared back and slapped his stunned face again. He just knelt there, the shock of her actions still not penetrating his mind.

  "GET OUT! GET THE HELL OUT NOW! I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN!" Jen took a deep breath as she leaned forward and tried to push Decebel away. She screamed as she felt a sharp pain in her side, like a knife sliding into her. She was trying to talk around the gurgling in her throat – she realized blood was bubbling up from her stomach.

  She was gasping for breath as she tried yelling again, but it only came out in a weak broken voice. "Don't come back." She looked him dead in the eyes when she spoke her last words before she passed out. "I don't want you."

  Decebel reached for Jennifer as her body fell forward. Her blood once again soaked his shirt. As he held his mate in his arms, he realized he had gone too far. He had been the selfish one and now he'd possibly lost her for good.

  Chapter 18

  His heart began to squeeze in his chest and breathing became difficult – Decebel didn't even notice when the door flew open with a bang and the room began to fill with people.

  "What the hell happened to her?"

  Jacque and the others had just arrived in the house when they heard the screaming. At first Vasile told everyone to wait, that it wouldn't be wise to interrupt them, especially if Decebel wasn't in control of his wolf. But as soon as the yelling stopped, Jacque had had enough. With Fane on her heels, she burst in the room just in time to see her best friend slump forward, blood pouring from all sorts of areas where blood should definitely not be pouring from.

  Alina, Sally, and Jacque all stepped forward to take Jen from Decebel and all jumped back at the same time when he snarled in warning.

  Vasile's voice rose above the snarl. "Release her, Beta. NOW."

  The power of the command had Decebel handing Jen's body over even as he tried to fight the compulsion.

  "Peri," Vasile turned to look at the fairy, "bind him."

  "You think that wise?" she asked him.

  "He isn't safe. Bind him."

  Peri nodded once. "So be it."

  She walked around to the other side of the bed where Decebel still knelt on the floor. His shoulders slumped in defeat and he didn't fight her when she placed her hand on his chest and murmured unintelligible words.

  "It is done," she announced, then walked out of the room to leave the wolves to care for their own.

  After they had gotten Jen back on the bed, all the ladies went to work. Sally placed her hands on her friend again and cleared her lungs. Meanwhile, she looked for any other damage, making sure to not leave any part of her unexamined.

  When she took her hands away, she began to slump back, but strong arms were there to catch her.

  "I got you, Sally mine," she heard Costin whisper in her ear as he placed her in a chair. Sally looked up to watch Alina, Crina, Jacque, and Cynthia clean blood from Jen and change her clothes. She was breathing, her heart was beating – But for how long? Sally wondered solemnly.

  Several hours later, as darkness descended, Jacque and Sally sat next to an unconscious Jen. Every once in a while, Jacque would run a warm washcloth across Jen's forehead, needing to do something.

  "What do you think happened between them?" Sally whispered, not knowing why she felt the need to be quiet.

  "I have no idea. But Decebel's a dominant Alpha wolf, which means he's prone to saying stupid things."

  Sally chuckled weakly at Jacque's words. Knowing she really wasn't joking made it even funnier.

  "She won't last without his blood."

  "I know," Jacque answered, then continued tightly, "She won't live without the bond."

  "Their bond is..." Sally paused, trying to find the word, "powerful."

  "Knowing Jen, she probably told him she wouldn't bond with him if he didn't remember her." Jacque looked back at Sally. "If she told him that, that explains him going ape shit, and of course our meek little Jen sat here quietly and said 'yes, dear'…Not," Jacque finished sharply.

  Nineteen Days Post-Curse

  Days went by and still Jen remained unconscious. Decebel remained bound by Fae magic and Jacque and Sally rarely left Jen's side.

  Five days after Jen and Decebel's blowout, Jen awoke. The first thing she saw was Jacque's emerald eyes, quickly followed by Sally's honey brown ones.

  "Hey there," Jacque whispered.

  Jen rolled her eyes, and unfortunately even that hurt. "Don’t talk to me like I'm a toddler, Red. And, Sally, get that damn goofy grin off your face."

  She heard Sally chuckle from somewhere behind the curly red head blocking her sight.

  "I would ask how you're feeling, but it must be better than before if you have the energy to boss us around." Jacque smiled and winked.

  "It's the one thing in life that brings me pleasure, but don't read too much into it." Jen gently turned her head to look around the room, trying to be inconspicuous – yeah, that didn't work.

  "He's not here."

  Jen felt her heart drop at Jacque's words. Jacque must have noticed the distress on Jen's face because she quickly added, "I mean, he's here, just not in this room."

  "Why do I give a damn where the bloody hell he is after the mean-ass things he said to me?"

  "Hey, Jen, how's that stop-cussing commitment going for you?" Sally asked sarcastically.

  "I'm dying, Sally. I don't really give a damn about what bad words might come from my mouth. In fact, I know what I want you two brats to put on my tombstone. 'Jennifer Adams, 1993 to 20 -" She paused. "Is it 2011 yet?"

  Jacque nodded. "Yeah, New Year's has come and gone. Turns out it doesn't stop for werewolf curses and dying mates."

  "Huh," Jen muttered. "Go figure. Anyway, 1993 to 2011. 'Here's to all you werewolves. Come on, raise your glasses. All you flea-infested fur balls, you can kiss my ass.' Then put dot, dot, dot, followed by, 'Put that in your pipe and smoke it'."

  Jacque and Sally were trying not to laugh considering their friend was in fact dying, but, seriously, only Jen would request something like that on her tombstone – and mean it.

  "Jen, I refuse to put that on your tombstone." Jacque shook her head at her precocious friend. "And I refuse to discuss this because you aren't going to die."

  "Well, I'm not doing the Blood Rites with that jerk."

  "Decebel is still inside there, Jen. He still loves you and wants you."

  "Oh, he wants me, he made that perfectly clear. But the insufferable ass also told me that he may never love me again, but we would just have to make the best of it."

  Jacque turned to Sally. "See, told ya. Dominant male – poof! – stupid words."

  "I know he hurt you. And you have every right to want to castrate him. But deep down, Jen, you love him. He's yours just as much as you are his. Please think about it. We love you, we don't want to lose you," Sally pleaded.

  Jacque and Sally both wiped away tears as they watched Jen close her eyes in obvious frustration.

  "Can I be alone, please?"

  The girls knew Jen must really be hurting if she wanted to be by herself. Jen hated being alone.

  "We'll be right outside the door. We love you, Jen."

  Jen nodded. "I know. I love ya’ll too."

  As Jen lay there looking up at the ceiling, she felt a tear slide down her cheek as she listened to the painful howl of a wolf – her wolf. She wanted to hate him. She wanted to never see him again. However, the truth was she was dying without him, and not just because she hadn't had his blood, but because it was tearing her apart inside to not have him near. The only thing that kept her from crying out for him was her pride. Okay, so that would be a really stupid reason to die. She could imagine what Jacque and Sally would put on her tombstone:

  'Here lies our stubborn friend,

  Though she loved him and really tried,

  She met her all too early end

  Because of foolish pride.'

  Yep, that's about how it would go. And still she lay there with her lips shut tight and pain in her heart. Tears caressed her cheeks where loving hands had once done the same.

  "He won't eat, Vasile." His mate's voice was filled with worry.

  "He's pining for her. I think if she dies, he will die as well, regardless of the Blood Rites." Vasile wasn't trying to be disrespectful of Jen's situation, he was just stating what was.

  "You need to talk to him. You need to fix this."

  "Luna, I'm Alpha, not God."

  "Oh, now you want to act like you can't do everything? Now is not the time to back off. Jen, just as Sally and Jacque, is like a daughter to me. I won't lose her. Go deal with this Vasile. Now."

  Vasile looked into Alina's eyes and saw the determination there. He also knew that if he did not heed her words, he would pay for it.

  "Okay, Mina. I will talk to him."

  She let out the breath she had been holding, kissed her mate gently, and then pushed him in the direction of the door.

  Vasile found Decebel in a small shed behind the house the Fae were letting them stay in. Peri had used her magic to make the shed warm on the inside when Decebel had been placed in there, still under the binding spell.