“Have you lost your ever-loving mind?” I stand up too as Sarge is yelling at me.

  “I was just enjoying the real-life porno you were putting on for me Sarge. What did you think I would do? Go running out of here with my tail tucked between my legs. I don’t think so. Go ahead, you finish with her and I’ll finish with my hand while your brothers watch.” I stop and look at the men standing at the bar and Stealth has gone quiet for a change.

  “Woman, I swear, you are going to be the death of me.” Sarge stomps over to me and stops in front of me and I can’t deny that the sight of his hard cock has my panties wet. He leans down and grabs my ass and I jump so Sarge is holding me around his waist now and I don’t give him a chance to say anything. I take his mouth and he opens for me and our tongues are fighting a war for dominance. Just his taste makes me want to give into him, but not today. Today I’m in charge. A moan escapes us both. Sex has never been a problem between Sarge and me. He lights a fire in me that no one else can touch. I have given into his dominance many times but today I have no give. I need control. I need to let Sarge feel I am his equal. I feel us moving but I couldn’t care less where Sarge is taking me. I am plundering his mouth and moving up and down his torso trying to find some friction. I need a release and I will get it anyway I can. I bite Sarge’s lip and my back hits a wall. “Don’t ever think for a minute that you can make me jealous and don’t ever put on a sex show for my brothers or you won’t like the consequences.” I laugh and drop back to the floor. I see we are in the hall close to the bathroom.

  “I wasn’t the one playing games. I was just enjoying the little demonstration of how to deep throat a cock. Honey, I could have you ready to shoot your load down my throat in half the time and never break a sweat. I know just how you like it, asshole.” I don’t know if this is a real argument or foreplay. With us you never know.

  “As you could see, you are replaceable and nothing special, doll.” Sarge’s words just spur me on. I don’t know how this man can piss me off and turn me on at the same time. One minute we are at each other’s throat and now I am pressed up against a wall and Sarge has my legs feeling as if they are made of Jell-O, my panties are soaked, nipples hard and begging to be lavished with attention and we are close to having sex here in the hall for everyone to see and I couldn’t give a damn care less. I run my hand down his shaft and give it a firm squeeze and then back to the tip slowing and double pumping the head. I need this man inside of me. Sarge grabs my ass again and I climb his body like my life depends on it. “Yes,” I purr. Sarge grabs my ass and gets a good grip without saying a word and opens the bathroom door with his other hand and walks us in. I bite down on Sarge’s lip and he lets out a low growl. I glimpse a look at his eyes and the fire in them goes straight to my clit. Sarge always likes a little pain with his pleasure. Sarge surprises me by letting my legs fall but still holding me close and then he spins me around and my hands fall to the sink in front of me. I look at Sarge standing behind me through the mirror in front of me. He has met his limit and I know this is going to be a hard fuck and that is exactly what I need. Both our eyes are filled with lust and desire.

  “Hold on to that sink like your life depends on it,” Sarge says in the deep voice that makes me want him to just hurry the fuck up and quit talking. Sarge is busy yanking my shorts and panties down my legs. I step out of them and Sarge taps my leg and I widen my legs apart. “This is going to be hard and fast. I have things to do and if you are around later then you will get yours.” My blood goes cold and it’s like a bucket of ice-cold water was dumped on my libido. Sarge is treating me like the sluts around here that fall to their knees at his command. I turn and catch Sarge by surprise. “What the hell bitch? Bend your ass back over.” I push him back with everything in me.

  “It’s time you learn I’m not a club muffin or your fuck doll. I don’t get mine, then you don’t get yours.” I don’t raise my voice or let any of my anger show. Sarge will not see how much I care or how much he has hurt me.

  “You better think about that move doll. No one woman owns me. I can have another bitch in here on her knees before you can dress and walk out that door. Maybe you could learn a few things about how to treat a real man instead of those pussy-ass cowboys you like to lead around by the nose.” Sarge is pissed but so am I. I am imagining him with steam coming out of his ears like the old cartoons I watched as a child and it makes me laugh. I think that is the only thing keeping me calm right now. “You think I am not serious right now, Micah?” I bend down and pick up my shorts and panties and then wink at Sarge. Classy, my tank and bra never came off. I move out of Sarge’s reach and toward the door.

  “I wasn’t planning on getting dressed.” The look on Sarge’s face is priceless. I open the door and strut my ass right out of there. If Sarge can wave his cock in everyone’s face, then I can take a chance someone gets a look at my ass. Like I said, no one rules my world. I take time to get dressed outside the door and then I slip out the side door. Time to kick rocks again and try to forget that sexy-ass biker.

  I slow down and stop at the gate and wait for Shield to come around to my side of the truck. “I tried to tell you to come back another day, but you wouldn’t listen. Why do you insist on chasing Sarge?”

  I look at Shield. “I can’t believe you are saying this to me. I don’t chase men.” I take a deep breath, so I don’t take this out on my friend. I’m just frustrated from all the things that Sarge has put me through today. “Shield you have always been my friend and I don't want you to think this is anything against you or your club. I just thought that Sarge and I could have an adult relationship between the two of us. I don't want to fence him in, and I don't expect to be the only woman that he fucks, but I thought we had the understanding that when push comes to shove, we were in each other's corner. I know that I got out of hand at the bar the other night. I let my jealousy overcome my better sense but today was about letting him know I was sorry. I'm not like most women Shield; you should know that. I haven’t been dreaming about my wedding or my children or the man that I'm going to fall in love with. I just thought that Sarge and I had come to an understanding that we could have something between us and no matter what, still be friends. After that little show in there, I know that Sarge is trying to push me away. He succeeded. I don’t want the heartache that comes along with him so I’m stepping off. We can just leave it like it is, no more explanations, no more hurting each other, and just no more nothing. I value your friendship Shield and I hope I still have it, but I can’t come around here anymore. I don’t need to be around Sarge if he is determined to hurt me just to keep me away from him. Job accomplished.” I feel like crying, but no one ever sees me cry. I am not a crier.

  “Alright Trouble, just take care and if you need anything you have my number.” I smile at Shield because he really is a good friend.

  “Do you think I can just go back to being plain old Micah? I’m not trouble or doll or honey, I’m just Micah.” I need a drink or ten. It’s a good thought but I won’t drown my sorrows in a bottle. I won’t let myself cry. I won’t let myself try to fix this. I am stronger than that.

  “Only for you Micah. You know at one time I thought about asking you out on a real date but then I witnessed the attraction that you and Sarge had and I knew I would never interfere, but you deserve better than being treated like a one-night stand.” Shield is undoing me by his sweetness. “Take care Micah.”

  “Later Shield.” I put my window back up. Sarge walks to the gate shack and the gate opens. I drive away slowly and never look back in my mirror.

  4

  Sarge…

  I slam the door to my room and lock the door. It’s not that I think anyone would come in without knocking but it’s just an extra buffer. I don’t know why I let Micah rile me up so much. I know I cut her deep with my actions and words. She can talk all the big words she wants but her eyes give her away. Pushing her away is the best thing that I can do for both of us right now. I need to concentrate on getting the Rebellions 4 Blood where we need to be. Micah needs to find herself a man that she can wrap around her little finger and settle down like Callie and Maddie, her two sisters. She deserves a good life.

  I realize I have changed since I was a snot-nosed eighteen-year old kid. Back then I had stars in my eyes and the only thoughts I had was to go in the Marines, make a better life for Callie and myself, get Callie away from her dad’s motorcycle club, put a ring on her finger, and put my baby in her belly. I thought it was the easiest plan ever. My determination got me through boot camp and the beginning of my tour in the sandbox. It was weeks away from Callie’s graduation and her eighteenth birthday. I made a promise to Chief that I wouldn’t push for a wedding until after Callie was of legal age and had graduated from high school.

  We were ambushed while on maneuvers and that night when we were back at our base camp, I had one too many beers. Mix that with a hot willing body of one of the female soldiers and I was weak. I cheated on my girl and I did it again the next day. I wasn’t a virgin, but I had been without a female since I started sitting on Callie’s sofa. I took responsibility for my actions and told Callie on the night of her graduation. I was supposed to be back stateside for her ceremony, but all leave was canceled due to escalating violence. I told Callie over a damn face-to-face conversation on her computer with her friends listening. I tried to explain, but how do you explain something like that? Callie refused to forgive me, and I don’t blame her. There is still a part of me that loves her. The biker she is with, Devil, doesn’t deserve her but then neither do I. I don’t do relationships anymore. If I couldn’t be true with the one woman I have ever been in love with, then no one else has a chance.

  I don’t give false hopes to anyone, so I am up front with my expectations and I thought Micah understood that. I let Micah get under my skin. Micah and I have a sexual attraction that I have not felt in a very long time. I know if I let my guard down that we could have something more. I just can’t let that happen and this is better. I will fuck Micah out of my mind before the little thing works her way into my heart. That’s a mistake I will never make again. Never ever will I let that happen.

  I know I won’t be able to sleep until I get a muffin to take care of the release I still need. I go in the bathroom and start the water when I hear a knock on my door. It’s a light knock so I know it’s Rainey. I don’t hesitate to open the door. “You up for a long shower?”

  “Sounds like my kind of night,” Rainey tells me with a salacious smile on her face. She walks in and I slam the door and lock it again. This is going to take a while. Rainey walks around me and into the bathroom. My kind of woman, willing and she’ll know to leave when we’re finished, and she won’t have any hurt feelings. I follow her into the bathroom, and I know this fuck is going to be hard and relentless.

  5

  Four months later

  Micah…

  It has been a grueling four months. This will more than likely be my last circuit to follow. I think it’s time for me to bow out of this rodeo thing. It doesn’t have the appeal it once did. It’s time for Blaze and Sheba to have all the pampering I can give them. They have been with me from the beginning and I said I wouldn’t be training another horse like I did with them. They have been committed to making me look good for too long. Blaze is a sixteen-year-old thoroughbred and Sheba is a fifteen-year-old quarter horse. They’re not too old, they are both getting better times than they did last year but I want them to have many more years with me. They’re my babies, my confidants, and it seems like my best friends at times.

  Somehow this time away from the ranch, and everyone I care about, has been therapeutic. I care too much where Sarge is concerned. I need time, distance, and a little clarity on my feelings. I’ve never put my feelings under a microscope before and thought them out. I’ve always went on instinct and then dealt with the consequences if I was wrong. I need to grow the hell up and be a little more responsible. I said a little, just so that is clear. My aunt Deb would be ashamed of some of my behavior in the past months. Not the walking out on Sarge with my butt as bare as the day I was born, no that would have gotten me a ‘hell yeah’, but the way I was trying to find a reason to see Sarge. I was not raised to chase a damn man. I was raised to stand my ground and never let them see you sweat. If I heard it once I heard it a hundred times, ‘Any man worth his salt doesn’t have to be chased. He’s with a woman and makes sure everyone knows it and he doesn’t need any other woman.’ Aunt Deb was burned by her husband in a power struggle over our family’s horse ranch. Aunt Deb had to choose between my mom and her husband, and he lost. She’s never remarried again. In our family loyalty is always the center of everything. There’s no loyalty or respect between Sarge and myself, so there can never be anything between us.

  I’m not trying to change myself for anyone. I will always be strong-willed with a sharp tongue. It’s in my genes, but I want to know when to say enough is enough and it’s time to get off the merry-go-round instead of digging in. I am determined, so maybe my stubbornness will come in handy for a change.

  After the trip to get a bite to eat away from the noise this time of day at the arena, I step out of my four-wheel-drive truck. I take my time walking to the pen that I rent for Blaze so she could get some fresh air and have a little time out of the trailer. I have a trailer with a sleeper on it so both of us sleep comfortable, but Blaze doesn’t like to be in the trailer for too long. The pen gives her room to stretch her legs and I can run through some short exercises, nothing too strenuous. I just hate leaving her unattended when I go to grab something to eat and pick up supplies. When I get close to the pen, I see there is another horse in there with Blaze. That by itself is enough to send me into a fast walk, but when I see a man take a crop and hit Blaze, I break out in a full run. I don’t stop until I have climbed over the fence of the pen. When I land on the ground inside the pen, the man is still hitting Blaze. I tackle the man and grab the crop before the shock wears off and I hit the man in his face with all I can and bring the crop up and try to throttle the man, I then jump to my feet and kick the man in the balls. I hope they shrivel up so far inside him that they never come down. I hear the anguished cry from Blaze and I turn and see as the other horse bites my baby. I would never hit an animal like the idiot lying on the ground, but I won’t let it hurt my baby either. I see the gate for the pen, run to it and swing it open. Both horses are fighting with each other now. The man on the ground is up on his feet now and is paying attention to what is going on, but he is still green in the face. I know better than to get between two horses when they are out of control, so I do the only thing I am willing to do, I wave my hands around and start yelling to get their attention. I know it’s a long shot, but it works. I move my body so they can see the open gate and I see there are people around watching, but no one attempts to help me. When I take another step, the other horse sees the open gate and takes off running. I snap my fingers to get Blaze’s attention and she relaxes and doesn’t follow the other horse out of the pen. “Horse out!” I yell so more people will know to watch out. It’s protocol around this circuit. I see the owner already has his horse under control and walking back our way with a line of men with him.

  I walk over and give Blaze a rub on her back and then check the spot on her neck where the other horse bit it. It’s going to require some attention from a veterinarian. I take my phone out of my pocket and group text the circuit vet at the arena, Aunt Deb, and Bill, the man that takes cares of our stock horses here for the bronc riding. I take my denim shirt, that I wear over my tank, off and wipe the wound.

  “I am pressing charges on you bitch. Where the hell do you get off hitting me for your damn mistakes?” I don’t know this man and I have had enough of his damn mouth. I walk the distance between us and get up in his face. I take a stub out of my back pocket and shove it in the big guy’s face.

  “Buttercup, this is my fucking pen for the next thirty-eight minutes. You are trespassing until that time. You assaulted my horse and I was showing what the fuck it felt like, you limped-dick asshole. Press fucking charges on me because I couldn’t care fucking less.” My blood is boiling and if I had my damn shotgun, I would be using it.

  “Pen S107 is mine and that damn horse of yours wouldn’t get out of it so I could run exercises with Toby.” Two things about that statement has me taking a breath before I strangle this man with my bare hands. I smell the stale liquor on him left over from last night and I know the exact kind of man that is standing in front of me. I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn to see Bill and Henry. Henry is our ranch foreman and he is here today to make a few deals on some of our stock horses for the rodeo next year. I don’t like the idea, but it’s Aunt Deb’s deal, not mine. I want to pull away from the rodeo and concentrate solely on our insemination programs. Bill is walking off with Blaze to get her tended to. I turn back around to give the asshole my full attention, but I see the three rodeo organization representatives walking this way. I can’t contain my anger even though I know I’ll pay for it.

  “Listen numb nuts, this is pen N107 not S107. You don’t know north from south? Second, I have a receipt for this exact pen. You nor anyone has a right to mistreat horses or any other animal. My horse was paying for your ignorance. If you weren’t so fucking hung over from your partying last night then you might see the damn signs,” I point to one, “that could lead your sorry ass around this place. I will also be filing charges.” The other men have joined us, and they don’t look happy.