She took a breath and met Dex’s eyes. “Maybe you’re not off base,” she conceded. “I simply don’t know. In my heart and soul, I can’t bring myself to believe the man I once loved would rather kill himself than face whatever demons he had together. But we were struggling somewhat in making ends meet and...it’s possible that he could have resorted to drastic measures behind my back to do what he thought was necessary to stem the tide—” Her voice shook. “If that’s true, I won’t shirk from my responsibilities as a law-abiding citizen and loyal resident of Kauai to make things right in any way I can.”

  “You already have by cooperating with me,” Dex said, placing a hand upon hers, causing Katrina to react favorably as she found her other hand overlapping his. She felt the connection throughout her entire body and maybe right into her soul.

  “I can do more,” she insisted, releasing his hand reluctantly. He continued to caress her other hand, which was torturously appealing. “If Joseph was dealing in drugs to bring in more money, the one person who may know about it is Gordon, whom he seemed to confide in.”

  Dex nodded, taking his hand back and standing. “Why don’t we pay the bartender a little visit and see what he can tell us...”

  Katrina agreed as she got up, while at the same time fearful of what Gordon might have to say about the man she once believed she would spend the rest of her life with. Instead, he was gone and she had to deal with the aftermath alone. For better or worse. Or might she be able to somehow come out of this on the right side of the track with the help of a DEA agent who seemed as much dedicated to her health and well-being as his job and getting to the truth?

  Chapter Eight

  There was no getting around it as they headed out of the tropical gardens and its impressive offerings. Dex liked touching Katrina. She had such soft hands and he could only imagine the softness of the rest of her body. Not to mention, she clearly had a heart of gold. Any man would be lucky to have her as the love of his life. Joseph Sizemore had her in the palm of his hand and allowed her to slip away. Or had it been outside of his control? Did the man purposely end his life through drugs and drowning? Or, as contended in the notes left for Katrina, had someone murdered Sizemore? If so, was it because he no longer wanted to play ball with traffickers? Or had he gotten on someone else’s bad side?

  Dex was eager to get this resolved. He knew that was even more important to Katrina. She deserved some closure. Whether that put Sizemore in a positive or negative light, at least she could move on with her life knowing the truth. Then maybe she would be more open to starting over and having a new relationship to work on. Dex would love to be on the receiving end of that affection. But could it work when his career as a DEA special agent had him crisscrossing the states within his jurisdiction, leaving not nearly enough time to put his all into a romance with a beautiful woman who merited no less in a man?

  When they entered the Kahiko Lounge, Gordon Guerrero was busy unboxing liquor on the other side of the bar. It was obvious to Dex that the bartender didn’t particularly care for him, based on their exchanges. He didn’t sense that the man was interested in pursuing Katrina romantically. But maybe as a friend to her and Sizemore, Gordon hoped to protect Katrina from getting hurt. Or was it more about wanting to make sure his cousin’s wife had a place to return to after her maternity leave was up? As it was, Dex had run a criminal background check on Guerrero in relation to their drug-trafficking probe. Other than a DUI five years ago, he saw no red flags that suggested he was dealing in drugs on the side while bartending.

  “Hey,” Katrina said, walking up to the counter.

  “Hey.” Gordon stopped doing what he was doing. He regarded Dex uneasily.

  “Can we talk to you for a moment?” she asked.

  “Yeah.” He leaned against the counter. “What do you need?”

  “Information,” she put out solidly.

  “What kind of information?”

  “Did Joseph ever mention anything to you about money problems?”

  Gordon shrugged. “Yeah, I suppose, from time to time. Comes with the territory. Why do you ask?”

  “Because I need to know if he was in any kind of trouble,” Katrina answered bluntly.

  “Trouble?” The bartender grabbed a clean glass and a cloth to dry it, which Dex interpreted as a sign of nervousness. Or was it guilt by association?

  She peered at Gordon. “Do you know if Joseph was selling drugs at the lodge—or somewhere else?”

  “No, not that I know of.” His brows descended. “Why would you think that?”

  “Because he had drugs in his system at the time of death,” she replied, “according to the medical examiner. Joseph was also quite worried about our finances. If this resulted in his trafficking drugs, I need to know. So does Dex here...” Dex cringed when he thought she might blow his cover. Instead, Katrina merely said truthfully, “Someone has been stalking me. I believe it’s the same person who’s been leaving me notes, indicating that Joseph was the victim of foul play. As a PI, Dex has learned that the authorities are looking into drug trafficking on the island. Maybe even taking place at the Maoli Lodge. If you know anything about this and Joseph’s involvement, you need to tell me, Gordon.”

  “If it’s true, it’s only a matter of time before the police piece it together—” Dex decided to up the ante “—and bring down anyone who is an accomplice to the trafficking of drugs on Kauai soil...”

  “Joseph never indicated to me that he was dealing drugs,” Gordon maintained, sneering at him. “Whether he was using or not to get through the day, he wouldn’t have disrespected the land or you, Katrina,” he emphasized, “by going down that path.” The bartender drew a sharp breath. “But Joseph did confide in me that he was short on funds and needed to buy some time till business picked up, since he wasn’t able to get anything more from the bank. I suggested he try calling a local moneylender I know...”

  Dex’s mouth turned down. “You mean a loan shark?”

  Gordon’s chin jutted. “Yeah, I guess.”

  “Did Joseph get in touch with him?” Katrina demanded.

  “I believe so.”

  “We need the person’s name and address,” Dex told the bartender, making it clear it wasn’t a casual request. Gordon wasted no time in giving them what they needed.

  After leaving the lounge, Dex told Katrina, “I’ll go talk to the loan shark and see if Joseph borrowed money from him with a high interest rate.” Though far from advisable, if true, it would at least make it less likely that Sizemore turned to trafficking drugs for profit to fund his business or drug habit.

  “I’m coming with you,” she said firmly.

  “Not sure that’s such a good idea.” As a DEA agent in an official capacity, Dex was hesitant to bring a civilian into the case. Especially Sizemore’s widow.

  “I have to beg to differ there.” Katrina gave him a hard look that indicated she meant business. “Joseph was my husband. I need to find this out for myself—with or without you.” She sighed. “I’m sure you understand.”

  As it became clear to him that she was as stubborn as he was, perhaps more so, Dex didn’t fight it. “Yes, I think I do. Just be prepared for whatever may come out of this,” he warned in the nicest manner possible.

  “I could say the same to you, Agent Adair.” She steeled herself for any pushback. “Let’s just get this over with.”

  Dex grinned, liking this unflappable side of her. He imagined that would come in handy under other more intimate circumstances. But for now, they were on a mission to either clear her late husband of any wrongdoing relative to the drug-trafficking probe or discover that Sizemore had dug himself an even deeper hole that could well have cost Roxanne her life.

  * * *

  KATRINA HAD VOLUNTEERED to drive, seeing that she knew the island better than Dex, to get to the loan shark’s office more quickly. He surprised her by agreeing to ride along. Now she was on pins and needles, wondering if Joseph had leveraged the lodge itself in borrowing against it, potentially defaulting and putting her livelihood at risk. Though in her mind the books were balancing each month, what if Joseph had hidden his loans from her and had a separate set of books that had her well under water, even with the insurance payout that had seemingly given her the necessary breathing room to continue operating the lodge effectively with enough left over for savings.

  I can’t freak out about this, Katrina mused, willing herself to keep her thoughts in check as she drove down Maluhia Road. At least not until they spoke with the moneylender and determined whether or not Joseph had followed through in contacting him. And assessed what he might have done had his house of cards come crashing down upon him. Along with her.

  “How are you holding up?” she heard Dex’s deep voice ask with concern.

  “I’ll reserve comment on that for now, if you don’t mind,” Katrina told him, figuring there was no need to sugarcoat some of the emotions she was feeling at the moment in speculating whether or not the man she was married to had gone too far in making poor decisions. Better to wait and see just what she might be up against, as though the allegation of drug trafficking at the lodge wasn’t bad enough.

  “I don’t mind at all,” Dex assured her from the passenger seat. “But just so you know, however this goes, you’re in the clear and I won’t let the investigation impede your ability to run the Maoli Lodge and look ahead.”

  “Mahalo.” Katrina appreciated his kind words and couldn’t help but wonder what was in the cards for him in looking ahead. Did he ever plan to settle down? Or was his world of going undercover and tracking down drug offenders never to change? Was there anyone special in his life who he’d failed to mention in their mutual flirtation now that his true identity was out in the open? She glanced his way and decided to just ask boldly what was on her mind. “So, in your real world, Dex, do have a wife or girlfriend waiting back home for you to finish your latest assignment? Or is that confidential information?”

  “Not confidential.” He grinned at her. “There’s neither a wife nor girlfriend waiting for me anywhere,” he responded succinctly. “There was someone special once in my life, but it never came even close to us walking down the aisle.”

  “Oh...?” She wondered whether or not he got cold feet. Maybe Dex wasn’t the type to commit.

  “She cheated on me and seemed to think it was no big deal.” He shook his head with a look of betrayal. “In any event, that was the name of that tune.”

  “Sorry about that,” Katrina said sincerely. Though things were less than perfect between her and Joseph, she had always been faithful to him and believed the same was true from his side. Or could she be way off base here too about the man she was wed to?

  “It happens,” Dex muttered. “Lessons learned and all that.”

  “I’m sure there’s someone out there for you.” Did she really just say that? Katrina had always worn her heart on her sleeve. But was she telling him that she was ready, able and willing to take up with him—at least while he was around? If so, would she be able to put the past behind her as he seemed to be willing to do?

  “You too,” he countered surely, as though reading her thoughts, and added tellingly, “All you have to do is be willing to go the extra mile...once you’re ready for that—”

  Katrina allowed that to sink in, knowing her first step in that direction was to find out if Joseph had poisoned the well in destroying what was once their dream together. Only then could she truly turn the corner in regrouping. “I’ve gone a few extra miles for the time being,” she quipped, while driving onto Kipuni Way in Kapaa, a town on the island’s east side that was known for its Sleeping Giant Trail for hikers and the 151-foot Ho’olalaea Waterfall.

  He chuckled. “Yeah, I can see that.”

  Four blocks later, Katrina pulled into the parking lot of a place called Cash to Give, wondering if she was about to encounter another disappointment in her marriage and roadblock in her business.

  “You ready for this?” Dex asked in earnest.

  “I have to be,” she replied squarely, wanting to get it over with. Or was that even possible at this stage?

  “Then let’s go,” he said without further ado.

  They stepped inside the small, cluttered office with a dirty picture window. A sixtysomething, thickset, deeply tanned man with short thin gray hair in a brushed back style and a salt-and-pepper beard fade was seated at a computer desk that included file drawers. When he saw them, he leaned back in his black leather chair and said, “Aloha. How can I help you?”

  “Are you Philip Shepherd?” Dex asked.

  “Yeah, that’s me. Who are you?”

  “DEA Special Agent Adair,” he said, flashing his ID. This surprised Katrina, but she instinctively understood that it was meant to intimidate him into cooperating. “This is Katrina Sizemore. We need to know if her late husband, Joseph Sizemore, contacted you for a loan.”

  Shepherd rubbed his stomach. “Afraid I’m not at liberty to give out confidential information between me and my clients, assuming he ever was one.”

  “I’d rethink that if I were you.” Dex leaned over the desk menacingly. “I’m investigating drug trafficking on Kauai. If any loaned money turned out to be used to buy or distribute illicit drugs, that makes you an accessory. That means the feds will rain down on this place and if you have any skeletons in the closet, trust me, we’ll find them...”

  “Okay, okay—no need for this to go that far.” Shepherd sucked in a deep breath. “The man’s name doesn’t actually pop out at me. Give me a moment to look him up.” He started typing on his laptop. “Spell that for me?”

  Katrina volunteered in doing so, adding, “He would have gotten in touch with you within the past year or so,” she assumed.” She hated to think that Joseph had reached such a stage of desperation to seek money from a loan shark.

  “Hmm...” Shepherd muttered. “Nothing’s showing up. You have a picture of your husband?”

  “Yes.” She took out her cell phone from a shoulder baguette bag and pulled up what was probably the last picture of Joseph. It was taken at the lodge, in the lobby, where he actually posed for her. How could she have known that he was hiding things from her even then? Katrina held the small screen up to the moneylender. “That’s him,” she uttered.

  Shepherd needed only a moment, before saying, “Right, I remember him now... He never took out a loan.”

  “Why not?” Dex asked dubiously.

  “Said he needed fifty grand. I told him no problem, but after I explained what I expected in return in terms of interest and date of payback in full, the man balked.”

  Katrina wrinkled her brow. “Are you saying Joseph never took out a loan from you?” she questioned to be sure.

  “Yeah, that’s what I’m saying,” he reiterated and eyed her musingly. “Your husband had second thoughts, said instead he would cash in some stocks that you weren’t aware he had to cover his debts. Then he left. Never saw him again.”

  Back in the car, Dex said, “If what Shepherd said was true, it should be easy enough to verify the sale of secret stocks to help cover debts.”

  Katrina was a mixture of emotions. She felt relief that her husband had apparently not followed through on taking money from a loan shark. Better still, it suggested that Joseph had not gotten himself involved in drug trafficking to make money. But the fact that he had invested in the stock market without bothering to tell her was frustrating in its own right. “How could he have not told me about the stocks?” she griped aloud.

  “Maybe he wanted to wait and see how they did first before letting you in,” Dex indicated, which Katrina knew was his way of trying to ease her sense of betrayal.

  “Nice try, but it won’t fly.” She tightened her grip on the steering wheel. “If Joseph had that much of our money invested in stocks, I had every right to know about it.”

  “I couldn’t agree more,” he made clear. “That’s not the way a marriage should work. On the other hand, if the return was enough to help keep the lodge running, this would seem to exonerate Joseph of trafficking drugs for capital.”

  “You’re right.” Katrina loosened her fingers on the steering wheel. “I suppose I should be thanking him for not committing crimes to prevent us from going under,” she said sarcastically.

  Dex faced her profile. “You should be pissed. No excuses for what he did. He screwed up. Having never run a lodge such as yours, I can’t begin to know the pressures one must be under to succeed in the competitive hospitality business in a resort setting. Apparently, though, selling stocks does seem to take suicide off the table. And, as of now, the murder angle is not holding water either, as the notes maintained, the drug use notwithstanding.”

  “I feel relieved about that,” she had to admit, in spite of her disappointment in Joseph on so many other levels. Not the least of which was his uncanny ability to pull the wool over her eyes in some of his actions and inactions. But that didn’t mean she would ever want to see him be the victim of foul play. “I just want to put this behind me. Hopefully, the stalker will leave well enough alone and not continue to harass me with unfounded allegations.” She considered her earlier sense of being watched. What did this person hope to gain, other than fill her with doubts about Joseph and what he may or may not have been up to, placing her in danger? Or was there some other angle to this yet to unfold?