“I know the feeling. When you handed that photograph to Johnny at the airport, and I saw Tony, it was like instant immersion into a former life.”

  “Immersion’s a good word.” He drank some champagne. “Mmm. You should try this. It’s like velvet.”

  But she remained still. “You loved your grandfather, didn’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then why do I sense so much sadness?”

  “You know the old saying, act in haste and repent at leisure? That’s me. But I don’t want to talk about me tonight.” He lifted his wineglass. “I’m dining with a beautiful woman and don’t want anything to spoil it. Here’s to an unforgettable evening.”

  She lifted her glass to touch his, and then sipped. “Oh—” She smiled. “That’s really good.”

  “Isn’t it?”

  The waiter brought their meal and a basket of freshly baked croissants. Maurice didn’t usually serve these with dinner, but he knew how much Carson loved them.

  “You have to try one of these. They literally melt in your mouth. I’ve eaten a dozen of them in one sitting before.”

  She took a bite. “I believe you.”

  While they ate their meal, he saw the dance band assemble across the room. A man in a turtleneck and jacket took over the mic. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he said in heavily accented French. “I’ve been told we have a very special guest in the restaurant tonight. Monsieur Lundgren, it is up to you to choose our first number before the dancing starts.”

  Carson chuckled. Trust Maurice to pull this. He glanced at Tracy, whose smile haunted him. “Go on. I’m curious to know what you pick.”

  “How about, ‘Yesterday When I Was Young’?”

  Many people in the restaurant clapped because they knew the song, too. Once the man started to sing, Carson’s eyes slid to Tracy’s. Their eyes didn’t leave each other until the singing was over.

  “I first heard that song before I was sent to the hospital,” he told her. “Remember the opening lines about being young and the taste of life sweet on the tongue, of treating life as if it were a foolish game?” She nodded. “All of it burned through me like a red-hot poker. That’s what I’d done, and now that time was gone.

  “I looked back at my own life, knowing I could never return to those times. I felt older than my grandfather who’d passed away. Opportunities had been missed. Too late I learned that the now of life is the essence.”

  Her eyes filled and she reached across the table to squeeze his hand gently.

  “Let’s dance.” Carson stood, and reached for her to join him.

  They gravitated to each other on the dance floor. When he pulled her into his arms she whispered, “You’re still young, Carson.”

  He drew her tighter against him without saying anything. They danced every dance. He forgot the time, the place. Carson needed the warmth of her lissome body. With each movement he inhaled her sweet fragrance and felt every breath she took.

  “I need to be alone with you, Tracy. Let’s get out of here.” He felt a tremor shake her body as he led her back to the table. Once he’d left some bills, he ushered her out of the restaurant to the car.

  A few residue clouds obscured the moon. Except for his coughing, they drove back to the ranch in silence. It was after eleven, but there was no way this evening was over. Maybe she wouldn’t like it, but he pulled around to the rear of the ranch house and shut off the engine.

  “This is my home. I’d like you to see how I live. I want you to come in and be with me for a while. If that doesn’t—”

  “It’s what I’d like, too,” she broke in. He sensed she wanted to be with him. What surprised him was how forthright she was. That’s the way the whole night had gone.

  He got out and went around to help her from the car. “The guys live upstairs. I have the back of the house to myself.”

  They walked down the hall to his bedroom, where Buck had done some remodeling for him. His grandfather’s former room had been turned into a suite with its own sitting room and bathroom, but Carson wasn’t thinking about that right now. He started to help her off with her jacket, but the moment he touched her, he couldn’t help kissing the side of her neck.

  “So help me, I promised myself I wouldn’t do this, but I don’t seem to have any control when I get close to you.”

  She twisted around until she faced him. That beautiful face. “Neither do I.”

  “Tracy—”

  Carson lowered his head and covered her mouth with his own, exultant that at last he was tasting her. The singing line of her mouth had been tempting him for days. By some miracle she was kissing him back and she went on giving kiss after kiss. Like their dancing, they couldn’t stop. It felt too wonderful to love this way.

  He’d been empty for too many years. He wanted to go slow, but he didn’t know how. She wasn’t helping him. This merging of lips and bodies was so powerful, their desire for each other took on a life of its own. Carson didn’t remember picking her up and carrying her to the bed. But there she was, lying on the mattress, looking up at him with a longing he could hardly credit was for him.

  After crushing her mouth once more, he lifted his head, but he was out of breath. “I brought you here to...to do this...and to talk.”

  “I know,” she half moaned. “That’s why I came. We have to talk.”

  “How are we supposed to do that now? Do you have any idea how much I want to make love to you?”

  “That makes two of us.” Her voice trembled. “Don’t hate me too much if I confess that I wanted you to kiss me to see if what I was feeling was real.”

  “You mean I was an experiment.”

  “Yes. But so was I to you—be honest about that.” Her eyes beseeched him to understand. “After Tony, I—”

  “You don’t need to explain anything to me,” he cut in. “I’ve been wondering about that, too, but no longer. It’s real, all right.” He buried his face in her fragrant hair.

  “What’s happened to us proves there’s life after death. Until I met you, I didn’t believe it. Oh, Carson.” She covered his face with kisses.

  * * *

  HE FOUND HER mouth again, starving for her. “Now we have to believe it, because it’s evident we’re both hungry for each other. There’s been an awareness between us from the first instant. Whether it’s an infatuation that will burn out, only time will tell, but at least we can admit to what we’re feeling right now and go on from here.”

  A tortured look entered her eyes. “We can’t go on. This has to end tonight and you know it.”

  “Tonight?”

  He rolled her on top of him, searching the depths of her eyes. “We’ve only just begun and we have three more precious days and nights together. How can you say it has to end now? How do we do that, Tracy?”

  “Because we can’t afford to start something we can’t finish.”

  “Who says we can’t?” he cried fiercely. “It already started Friday evening. Don’t you know I don’t ever want you to go home? You can’t! Not when we feel this way about each other. For two people to connect the way we have is so rare, we have to hold on to it and nurture it. If I’ve learned nothing else, that’s what war has taught me. Can you deny it?”

  “Carson!” she said in genuine shock. “I couldn’t possibly stay.”

  “That’s because you’re afraid.”

  “All right, yes. I am, for too many reasons to mention!”

  “So am I. Petrified. This is new for me, too.”

  “We’ve only known each other a few days.”

  “That’s the whole point, isn’t it? How can we really get to know each other unless you stay? In order to give us a chance, I’d like you and Johnny to live in the cabin for as long as you want, until Christmas, even. That way you’ll have seen all the seasons come and go except spring—which is enchanting. With weather like ours, it’s important you experience it. By then, we’ll know if you’re ready to pack your bags or not.”

  She knew the “or not” meant he was talking about marriage, but he didn’t say it in order not to scare her over something she wasn’t ready for yet. With her, it would have to be all or nothing. He’d marry her in the morning, but he was going to give her plenty of time to get used to the idea.

  Carson groaned when she started to ease herself away from him. He reached for her, but she slid to the edge of the bed and stood up. “If it were just me, I might consider staying on in Jackson at a motel for another week to see more of you. But we’re talking about Johnny, too.”

  He got to his feet. “Exactly. He needs time to get to know the real me and see if he likes the man who’s not just a cowboy. He’s told me several times he doesn’t want to go home. Whether he really meant it or not, he said it, and that’s a start in the right direction.”

  She shook her head. “It just wouldn’t work.”

  “Of course it would. We need to see where this leads.”

  “It might lead nowhere!” she exclaimed. “You could end up not liking me. We might find out we’re not good for each other.”

  “Johnny may end up despising me, and you may discover you’re bored and hate this lifestyle,” Carson agreed. “But that’s the risk we’ll have to take because a fire’s been lit, Tracy, and you can’t ignore it.”

  “I’m not. I’m only trying to think with my head and not with emotions or hormones.”

  “That would be impossible. They all work together. I know we have to head for the Harrises’ cabin, but before we walk out of here, I want you to think hard about something.” He grasped her upper arms. “Will you listen?”

  “Of course.”

  “I let my grandfather down when he was alive, but now that I’m back, I intend to keep this ranch going for my own sake as well as to honor him. The only way you and I can be together is for you to come to me. If you let fear take over, you’ll be throwing away something precious. Are you willing to take that chance?”

  “You make it all sound so easy, but it isn’t. For one thing, I have my career.”

  He folded his arms so he wouldn’t crush her in his arms again. “The Teton School District would welcome credentials like yours. Johnny could attend any one of six elementary schools. He’ll make friends there and with the neighbors. We’re only fifteen minutes away from town.”

  “Carson, I couldn’t just stay on your property for six months.”

  “Then pay me rent like you do your landlord in Sandusky.”

  “But you built these cabins for tourists. Johnny and I would be taking up one of them. It wouldn’t be fair to you and your friends after all the work you’ve done to make this into a dude ranch.”

  “I’ve already contacted the architect to build another one.” The house of glass near the river.

  “Your friends will hardly welcome the news that the family you invited here has decided to stay on. You three have started a new business together and don’t need that complication.”

  He grimaced. “I’d hardly call you a complication, Tracy. But I know why you’re throwing up all these excuses. For you to stay here will cause a major earthquake in the Baretta family. Don’t bother to deny it, because I know it’s true.”

  “They’d have a difficult time if Johnny weren’t there.”

  “Your family could come out here for visits. They’d always be welcome.”

  “They’re very set in their ways and don’t travel often.”

  “What’s really wrong that you’re not telling me?”

  She lowered her head. “They wouldn’t approve.”

  “I get it,” he fired back. “But their son has been laid to rest and their daughter-in-law has the right to get on with her life the way she sees best.”

  “You don’t know what they’re like.” She raised anxious eyes to him. “My in-laws are good Catholics.”

  An angry laugh escaped his lips. “What would they prefer? That I fly home with you and assure them that while you’re staying on my ranch, you won’t be living in sin with me?”

  The second she blanched, he realized his mistake and gathered her into his arms where she fit against his as if she’d been made for him. Rocking her back and forth he whispered, “Forgive me for saying that. Already you’re seeing a side of me that probably makes you glad you’re leaving on Saturday. I know I sound desperate. It’s because I am.”

  Carson found her mouth and drank deeply. He would have gone on kissing her indefinitely, but he had to cough. After it subsided he said, “Have I told you what a wonderful son you have? Last night he wanted me to stay in your tent. You have no idea what that meant to me.” He lowered his mouth to kiss her again and tasted salt from her tears.

  In the next instant she put her hands on his chest to stop him. “We can’t do this, Carson. It’s midnight. We have to go for Johnny.”

  He drew in his breath. “I know, but I have to have one more of these.” Cupping her face in his hands, he savored another heart-stopping kiss from her lips. Her response told him things she wasn’t ready to admit yet. Carson needed to be able to do this for the rest of their lives. In his gut, he knew that if she didn’t end up being his wife there would be other women to provide a distraction, but he’d never marry one of them.

  Ross had put it into words while they were working on the cabins in April. “You’re probably one of those ‘one woman’ men you hear about. My great-grandfather was exactly like that. A crusty bachelor who came out to Texas from the East to find oil and make his fortune. Big business and politics were the only things on his mind.

  “According to the story, he saw my great-grandmother picking bluebonnets in a field. She looked like a vision and he presented himself to her. It was history from there.”

  Carson had experienced a similar vision when Tracy had walked into the airline terminal. He was ready to make his own history, but he needed this woman and her son for it to happen. They made him want to be a better person because they were life to him.

  Chapter Eight

  “Mom? My stomach hurts.”

  Tracy turned in the bed to look at Johnny, who was still under his covers. Normally he was up by this time, shooting off his cap gun. “You look pale. What kind of treats did you eat last night?”

  “Sam’s mom made popcorn.”

  “Is that all you ate?”

  “No. When she put me in the bedroom with Sam, he had a bag of mini chocolate bars and we ate some.”

  “I bet his mother didn’t know about those.”

  “She didn’t. He told me we had to keep it a secret.”

  “So how many did you really eat?”

  “All of them.”

  “No wonder you’re sick. Do you think you’re going to throw up?”

  “Yes.”

  She pushed the covers aside and jumped out of bed. He started running and beat her to the bathroom in time to empty his stomach. Tracy waited till he was through, then she helped him wash out his mouth.

  “I still don’t feel good.”

  “I’m not surprised. I want you to get back in bed.”

  “But Carson was going to take us all riding this morning. Goldie will wonder where I am.” He burst into tears, the first he’d shed since coming here.

  Just the mention of Carson’s name set her trembling. Last night the Harrises had left the cabin door unlocked. Carson had stolen in and brought Johnny out to the car. Her son had been sound asleep. When they reached her cabin, he’d put Johnny to bed and had left without touching her. For the rest of the night she’d ached for him until it turned into literal pain.

  “I’ll tell him you’re not feeling well. Maybe by this afternoon you’ll feel better and then we can go over to the corral.”

  “Will you tell him to come and see me?”

  “Honey, he has other guests to take care of. In the meantime, we’ll wait to see if you throw up again. If you don’t, I’ll get you some toast and there’s Sprite in the fridge.” The cabin had been stocked with enough snacks and fruit for her to skip breakfast in the dining room. “Would you like to lie down on the couch in the other room so you can watch a movie?”

  “Okay.”

  Tracy took a blanket and pillow from his bed and tried to make him comfortable. She looked through the DVDs. “Do you want The Hobbit or Harry Potter?”

  “I don’t care.”

  That was his nausea talking. When it passed, then he’d ask her questions about her night out with Carson. She popped in the Harry Potter DVD.

  “When are you going to call him?”

  She glanced at her watch. It was quarter after eight. “In a little while. Let’s give him time to eat his breakfast first.” In truth she had no idea what time he ate. She’d phone him at nine.

  “Don’t tell Sam’s mom what we did or she might get mad.”

  “She’s so nice I’m sure she’ll understand. I have to call her to let her know you won’t be riding with her children this morning.”

  His eyes were closed. “Okay.”

  “I’ll only be in the bedroom for a minute.” She hurried in the other room and phoned the front desk. They put her call through.

  “Monica? I’m glad I caught you. How are the children this morning?”

  “That’s funny you’d ask. Rachel’s fine, but Sam says he’s not feeling well.”

  “Neither is Johnny.” In the next breath Tracy told her about the overload of chocolate.

  “That little monkey of mine. I’m so sorry.”

  “You don’t need to apologize, Monica. My son was equally guilty. I think they’ve learned their lesson. I just wanted you to know we won’t be going riding this morning. Maybe not at all today.”

  “I agree we’ll have to give riding a miss. I’ll call Carson and let him know the situation.”