“They need to release you.”

  “That’s the word I was trying to think of. Yes. They need to release me.” He was picking up steam. “We’re no longer the twenty-something newlyweds who didn’t know how to apply for a credit card. You know what my dad said about our decision to stay here? He and my mom thought that this was my wild-hare dream—coming to California. He said it reminded them of when my brother took off to backpack around Europe for the summer. Dillon got the wanderlust out of his system, and then he came home and buckled down. He was ready to run the dealership they put him in when he was twenty-one.”

  “The difference between your brother and you is that this isn’t just a wanderlust break, and you’re not going back to run the dealership they want to put you in.”

  “Exactly. My parents didn’t expect that.” Trevor moved his arm so that he could wrap it around my shoulder and draw me closer. “It’s still the right thing.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “We should be joyful and confident. Isn’t that what your verse says?”

  I pulled back and looked at him, confused. “My verse?”

  “The framed verse by the sink. You would think we both would have it memorized by now after reading it so many times. We’d looking forward to becoming all that God had in mind for us all along. Something like that.”

  I let the thought settle on me. “You’re right. We are becoming more of a family. It’s a different version of us, but we’re still us.”

  “I think we’re more us than we’ve ever been.”

  I patted his broad chest. “By the way, you did a great job with Audra at dinner. I did not see those questions coming.”

  Trevor chuckled, causing his chest to rumble. I sat up and smiled at him. “If the school Todd teaches at needs a sex ed teacher, I’d write you a recommendation.”

  Trevor took my comment in a different direction. It’s funny how we’d been married for so long yet I still said things that to me didn't have a deeper, more amorous meaning, but he heard an invitation every time.

  The interaction between us that followed left no place for me to talk about how I felt when Audra asked if her seven siblings were in heaven. That conversation would have to wait for another time. I was fine with letting it rest.

  The weather remained beautiful through the next week. We were busy at Peggy’s Pies and everyone, including Mr. Sanchez, seemed to be in a good mood.

  Mr. and Mrs. Thompson said they might take me up on the invitation to come to my apartment for lunch one day. I had told them how I was fixing up the patio and had planted some jasmine.

  “We’ll wait until summer,” Mrs. Thompson told me on Friday morning that week. “That will give your jasmine a chance to grow, and we can sit outside when the weather is nice.”

  “Okay, I’m going to hold you to that, Mrs. Thompson. We’ll get a date on the calendar.”

  Right before I left on Friday afternoon, I told Mr. Sanchez that I had some ideas about how he might make some changes at the diner. Our dinner at Ruby’s had inspired me to say something about the idiosyncrasies at Peggy’s Pies that had bugged me since my first workday.

  “If you ever wanted to move the bench in the waiting area over to the other side, up against the window,” I suggested, “it would help a lot with the traffic flow. The way it is now, whenever anyone opens the door, they walk right in and bump the legs of the people waiting on the bench. If someone comes in with a walker or wheelchair, it’s even more crowded.”

  “Humph.” He looked at the bench and the two possible places for it going back and forth, then back and forth again. “What else?”

  “I wonder if you could have the toasters cleaned out at least every day. Maybe even a couple of times during the morning shift. It always smells like burned toast when you walk in. Probably bread crumbs have fallen through to the bottom of the toaster’s tray and burned there.”

  “Is that all?”

  I decided to go ahead and toss out my last idea.

  “Have you considered making and selling little pies? You know”—I made the shape of a small circle with my hands—“the size of a tart.”

  “Why?”

  “Because customers look in the case at the pies, and they say they couldn’t eat a whole pie. Then they walk away, even though they really wanted one.”

  “Never done it that way.”

  “I know. But if you had pies that would feed two people, I think you would have steady sales from the Ivy Glen folks. I could ask some of them if they would buy a little pie to take with them, if we offered that size.”

  “No.” Mr. Sanchez shook his head. “Don’t ask them.”

  “Okay.”

  “Is that all?”

  “Yes.” I offered him a smile. “For now.”

  “Get outa here.” He was presenting himself as his joking, grumpy persona. The older clientele loved it when he told them to get out. I had a theory that some of them enjoyed being around someone who was grumpier than they were.

  I told Trevor about my suggestions on Saturday morning when he was getting ready to go to the car lot. His uncle’s green Cadillac had shipped out the day before, and he had two dealers coming that afternoon to cherry-pick the lot before he started negotiations with an interested buyer. It felt like a good day for fresh starts and spring cleaning.

  “How did Mr. Sanchez take your ideas?”

  “For him, pretty well, I think.”

  “They’re good ideas. It’ll be interesting to see what he does.”

  “Mom?” Audra came out of the bathroom dressed as if she were going to school. “Can I go to work with Dad this morning?”

  “May I,” I corrected her.

  “May I go to work with Daddy, and then you come pick me up at lunchtime?”

  I looked at Trevor. He shrugged, indicating it was fine with him.

  “Sure. Any particular reason?”

  Audra looked at Trevor as if she wasn’t sure if she could tell the reason. Then she seemed to throw caution to the wind. “I wanted to go to the car lot because Carlos always brings in churros on Saturday mornings.”

  “Oh?”

  “They’re like doughnuts.”

  “I know what churros are.”

  “They’re so good. Do you want me to bring one home for you?”

  “No, that’s okay.” I kissed the top of her head, thanked her for thinking of me, and sent her out the door with Trevor.

  It felt strange to have the morning to myself since this was a rare Saturday when I wasn’t scheduled to work all day. My first instinct was to open the windows and start cleaning. I began with the kitchen counter and moved on to wipe off the windowsill. When I picked up the round glass dish I had placed in the window a few weeks ago, I looked at the contents and tried to decide what to do.

  In the dish were the roses Trevor had given me for Valentine’s Day. The seven rosebuds hadn’t opened. I had done everything I thought I should do by cutting the stems’ ends at an angle, dissolving an aspirin in the water, and putting them where they would get light.

  They never bloomed.

  I had plucked the rosebuds and placed them in the dish on the windowsill so I could still enjoy them. They had dried up now, still in their original rosebud shape. I was about to toss them in the trash when I felt a warmth pressing against my chest.

  Seven.

  They never bloomed.

  I can’t throw them away and just forget about the love that gifted them to me.

  I knew what I needed to do. With the gentle pressure still resting on my heart, I took perhaps the bravest step I had ever taken during the entire process of our secondary infertility.

  I went outside to our slowly-becoming-beautiful patio, and I said goodbye to the seven little possibilities. The souls that Trevor believed were waiting for us in heaven.

  I released them.

  My ceremony was simple. I stood beside the potted jasmine plant and thought about Mrs. Miller’s admonition to “plant the sweet things” from my past into my new life. I plucked a petal from each of the buds and tucked them into my apron’s pocket. Then, digging my fingers into the warm earth, I placed the rosebuds in the soil and said goodbye to what might have been but never was.

  In that spontaneous, holy moment, I felt they released me. I hadn’t failed. I had tried. That was enough. I was enough. Our little family of three was enough.

  Chapter 18

  The evening of the Daughters of Eve zing thing party, I took a small ring box out of my top dresser drawer. That jeweler’s box had made my heart go zing the day Trevor pulled it from his pocket, went down on one knee, and looked up at me as if I were the only woman he would ever love for all his days.

  Carefully opening the lid, I looked at the seven dried rose petals. I had tucked them in the box on Saturday, one from each of the buds I had pressed into the soil at the base of the jasmine plant. The sight of them brought a sense of melancholy. I didn’t feel fresh pain but rather a soft touch of nostalgia.

  I closed the ring box, put it in my purse, and pulled a sweater from the dresser drawer in case Jennalyn had set up our place of gathering in the backyard. Slipping into the bathroom, I checked my hair in the mirror one more time and added another layer of gloss to my lips.

  “I’m going now.”

  Trevor and Audra were watching a movie, and both called out “Have fun” without looking up.

  “I will. Love you both.”

  I was at the door when Trevor hopped up from the couch. “Why don’t you take the Mercedes?” He fished the keys out of the bowl on the counter. “It’s a nice night to put the top down.”

  “Are you sure?” I knew Trevor had added me to the insurance for this particular car because he thought it would be fun for me to have one last chance to enjoy a “fancy” car before all the sales for the lot had gone through.

  He placed the keys in my hand. “Sure. Why not?”

  “Okay.” I kissed him and gladly took the keys to the silver Mercedes convertible. Smiling as I strolled to the parking area, I noticed that a sprinkling of tiny white flowers had begun to bud on the jasmine bush.

  I paused long enough to draw in a deep breath. My nostrils caught only a wisp of their fragrance. I knew the heady scent would soon fill the air every time we came or went from this place that had become a haven for us.

  After settling into the driver’s seat, I adjusted the mirrors and the steering wheel. The engine started with a purr. I pushed the button and watched the top go down. I couldn’t stop smiling. I had forgotten how much I loved the feeling that came with driving a classy car.

  My senses were on high alert as I drove to Jennalyn’s. I kept checking to make sure the car behind me wasn’t too close. I parked in her driveway and twice pressed the remote on the car alarm after double-checking that the top was up all the way and the windows were secure. Funny how I rarely worried about those details in my little white sedan.

  The other Daughters of Eve were already there when I went inside. We exchanged hugs and smiles, and I felt happy. Calm and happy. These were my women. We had a lot of catching up to do since our last gathering under the protective trees in Jennalyn’s backyard.

  I joined the others on the sofas and added my dish of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts to the treats on the coffee table. A client at Trevor’s work had given him a big bag, so I had filled a bowl and brought them with me.

  “Are those what I think they are?” Christy reached for one of the dark chocolate balls and popped it in her mouth. “These are so good. They are the only nuts I like.”

  “You probably would like other nuts if they were covered in dark chocolate like that,” Jennalyn said.

  Christy shook her head and reached for a second one. “Nope. Only macadamia nuts. I think it’s because they remind me of my honeymoon.”

  Listening to the background music that floated around us, I turned to Jennalyn. “I feel like I’m in a forest.”

  “Do you like it?” She grinned. “I put on the chirping birds and babbling brook mood music because I decided I wanted to stay inside tonight. I thought the woodland music would give us a bit of the enchanting springtime feeling we had in the backyard. What do you think?”

  “I feel like I’m back at the spa where I used to work,” Christy said. “The speakers in here are amazing. The birds sound like they’re all around us.”

  “It’s the perfect zing-thing music,” Sierra said. “Although the sound of the running water is doing a Jedi mind trick on me. I’ll be right back.” Sierra made a hasty dash to the powder room. She called over her shoulder, “Tess, don’t divulge any details until I come back.”

  “Okay,” Tess responded. “I’ll save all the juicy details.”

  Christy looked intrigued. “Now you have my attention.”

  Tess kept a straight face and plunged a round cucumber slice into the yogurt and fresh dill dip Jennalyn had made with herbs from her backyard garden.

  “This is so good!” Tess dabbed the corner of her mouth with one of the bright floral napkins that added to the springy floral theme of the get-together.

  “Anyone else want iced tea?” Jennalyn reached for the pitcher in the center of the coffee table. “This one is new. It’s peach flavored.”

  “That sounds good,” Christy said.

  I nodded when Jennalyn looked at me and then helped myself to one of the pastel-colored macarons lined up like a row of springtime tulips on the tiered serving tray. “These macarons are so good.”

  “I bought them at a bakery,” Christy said. “It’s a place my aunt really likes. The pale yellow ones are my favorite.”

  “Favorite what?” Sierra asked, returning to the group.

  “Macarons. I was saying that I like the yellow ones.”

  “I had a pink one,” Sierra said. “It was strawberry, I think. Or maybe it was raspberry.”

  “You better have another one so you can figure it out.” Jennalyn slid the dainty tiered tray across the coffee table so it would be closer to Sierra.

  Christy turned to me. “By the way, before I forget, Emily, do you think you could give me a ride back to my parents’ place? Todd dropped me off here, but my mom borrowed my car today, so I need to pick it up.”

  “Sure.” I wanted to say something on the bragging side like, “Only if you don’t mind riding in a convertible.” But no sassy words came out. They would have been imitation sassy words because it’s a little silly to brag about a borrowed car, and a used one at that.

  “Okay, Tess,” Sierra said. “Tell all. How did your date go? Where did he take you?”

  “We just went for coffee.” Tess leaned back, her tall glass of peach tea in her hand, her long, thin legs crossed. She was wearing a floral, blousy top and skinny jeans. Her long hair was twisted up on top of her head in a feathery bun. She looked like she was striking a pose for a clothing magazine.

  “Well?” Sierra asked.

  “I had a jasmine green tea, iced. He had a hazelnut latte. He paid for his; I paid for mine.” Tess’s expression didn’t reveal how she felt about any of the details as she continued the report. “We sat outside by a noisy street. He kept his sunglasses on. His phone buzzed nonstop. He asked me to excuse him as he sent at least three text messages.”

  “This isn’t sounding very promising,” Sierra said.

  “After fifteen minutes of awkwardness, he said he had to return a call to his agent and walked away. I sat there for another ten minutes, watching him on his phone call in the parking lot. Then he got in his nice car and drove off.”

  “No!” Jennalyn spouted.

  “Yes.”

  “That’s terrible!” Sierra said.

  “What did you do?” Christy asked.

  “I finished my iced tea and went home.” Tess uncrossed her legs and kicked off her shoes, using her toes to release the straps from across her ankles. “Worst date ever. Although I’m not sure I can even call it a date. His mom wanted us to meet. She’s one of my clients. We met. End of story.”

  “I can’t believe how rude he was.” Sierra followed Tess’s example and slipped her feet out of her shoes. “Are you going to tell us who he was? If he was calling his agent, he must have been an actor, right?”

  “I’ll never tell.” Tess’s expression made it clear that she wasn’t kidding. She kept her client list top secret and apparently maintained the same privacy policy for her clients’ sons. Even if they deserved to be called out for their behavior.

  “How do you feel about it now?” Christy asked.

  “Fine.”

  “Really?” Jennalyn asked.

  “Yes, really. I’m not interested in being involved with anyone right now. Especially someone like him. I kept my promise to his mom. I’m glad I did that.”

  We all sipped our peach tea silently. I tried to imagine what I would have done in a similar situation. Not that anything like that had happened to me or would happen to me.

  Tess reached for one of the yellow macarons. “The thing is…”

  Our attention was fixed on her, waiting. She hadn’t shared a lot in our past gatherings. I wondered if this might be a spilling-of-her-heart moment like I had experienced when I shared my story.

  “It’s just that…” Tess put the uneaten macaron on the flowery napkin resting on the arm of her chair.

  “That what?” Jennalyn asked.

  “Did any of you ever feel like the possibility of being pursued was more enjoyable than the possibility of being caught?”

  “Yes.” Sierra looked around to see if the rest of us were going to chime in. When we all kept our thoughts to ourselves, she dove in and told us about a guy named Paul. She had met him at the airport in London, and she was hopelessly caught up in the dream of what might happen between them.

  Tess leaned forward, listening.