He repeated the lies over and over, but he couldn’t be fooled.

  “If you don’t like them, I can return them,” she said, quietly. “I didn’t mean to—”

  “No,” he said, finally looking up at her. “I don’t want you to return them. I like them very much.”

  Her smile didn’t reach her eyes and he knew his reaction had disappointed her. He’d see that fake smile often if they were a mated couple, and the thought both sobered him and confirmed they were doing the right thing.

  He never wanted to be the man who took away her joy.

  ***

  Jared took another drink of his beer and listened as everyone around the picnic table erupted in laughter. Leah fit in perfectly with his coworkers, and she seemed to really like Isabelle and Michelle.

  Unfortunately, he’d been in a bad mood since they’d left his apartment.

  The ride to Lucky’s was quiet, but it lacked the compatibility they usually shared. As he worked the grill, he tried not to dwell on the mugs, or the fact that Leah meant something to him, but he couldn’t help it.

  His plan had backfired. Instead of easing his lust and pushing her out of his system, she’d managed to tear down another one of his carefully constructed barriers. The mugs were a nice gesture, but there was a reason he only used disposable plates and cups. He couldn’t risk planting roots…or falling in love.

  “Oh my god, Jared, that was the best barbeque I’ve ever had,” Michelle said.

  “Dude, as usual, you are the master,” Gabe chimed in.

  “Thanks for cooking,” Lucky added. “You’re truly talented.”

  “Is there more?” Izzy asked.

  Everyone laughed and started to clear the table.

  Leah leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his bicep.

  “You were right,” she said quietly, “the pan is empty.”

  He set his beer down and glared at her, but her smile remained.

  “I loved it,” she continued. “Thank you for bringing me.”

  “You guys make a great couple,” Michelle said.

  “Definitely,” Isabelle agreed.

  What the fucking hell?

  He knew he’d made a mistake in bringing her. They weren’t a couple.

  It was just sex.

  Leah smiled, stood and carried their trash to the garbage can. Why didn’t she say anything? Did she believe they were a couple? Is that why she bought the mugs?

  “Who wants dessert?” Izzy asked, placing Leah’s cookies and a round chocolate cake on the table.

  Suddenly, he couldn’t take the happy anymore.

  “We are not a couple,” he yelled as he stood. “We’re not even friends. It’s just sex.”

  Two bears growled, and everyone stared at him with anger and contempt before turning their sympathetic gazes on Leah. To her credit, his mate remained calm and didn’t seem the least bit surprised by his outburst.

  “Well, I guess that’s my cue to leave,” she said, carefully. One half of her face rose in a nervous smile, but she didn’t cry, yell or run. “It was wonderful meeting you all. Thank you for inviting me into your home.”

  “I’ll drive you,” he said.

  She nodded once, and he ignored everyone’s stares as he followed her across the lawn and out the wooden gate on the side of the house. Instead of holding open her door, he hopped in the driver’s seat and reached across the bench to lift the lock lever. The layer of tension he’d lost earlier started to return, and he reveled in the familiar feeling.

  He was doing the right thing.

  Her car was parked on the street, and he pulled up behind it and left the engine running.

  “Look, Leah, this has been fun, but—”

  “You’ve been in a bad mood all day,” she said, facing him. “Is this because of the mugs?”

  Shit!

  He hated the way she could read him. It was time to take it up a notch.

  “No, it’s because I’m done fucking you,” he said, looking her in the eyes. “It was fun, but it’s time to move on.”

  “You’re lying,” she said. “Don’t ruin what we have over something stupid. If the mugs bother you that much, they can go back to the store.”

  “It’s not about the mugs,” he roared. “We don’t have anything. It’s just sex.”

  “It’s more than that and you know it,” she said. “Jared, I love you. If you’d stop hiding, and recognize your fears, you’d realize you love me, too. That’s why I’m the only one you and your bear can agree on.”

  “Don’t be stupid,” he said, his voice hard, “and don’t pretend you know anything about my bear. You don’t love me; you just love fucking the bad boy. It’s fun to tell your friends how you suck my cock and lick my tattoos in exchange for my tongue on your cunt, but that isn’t love, sweetheart, and if you think it is, you have more things to worry about than me dumping you.”

  “I guess you’re right,” she said, tightening her hand around the door handle. “Good luck finding someone to replace me.”

  She exited his truck and when she slammed the door, he sped away and left her on the curb. His bear roared in protest, but he didn’t go back, and he didn’t go home.

  She’d issued a challenge, and he fully intended to prove she meant nothing to him.

  ***

  The following day, Leah greeted Jared and the woman he’d brought into the restaurant with a smile, and led them to their table as if nothing were amiss. His blatant move to prove he didn’t love her was laughable, but it still hurt, especially when she considered how far he would go with the woman to make a point.

  She glanced at her watch and silently swore. She still had to endure his presence for another thirty minutes before she could go home. The time clicked slowly by, and three groups of diners entered the restaurant, causing her to make the trek past his table more than once.

  As if she hadn’t been embarrassed enough, the last group contained three rowdy men who decided to negatively comment on her weight.

  “Okay, guys,” the ringleader said. “Fatass is going to lead us to our table now.”

  “Show us the way, thunder-thighs,” another added.

  “That’s too much jiggle with that wiggle,” the third added.

  She placed their menus on the table and noticed one of the waitresses alerting her boss to the problem. He was a good man, and he always took care of his staff.

  “I don’t usually fuck fatties, but if you pay me a hundred bucks, I’ll pop your cherry.”

  The sound of a chair skidding across the hardwood floor echoed around the eatery, and Jared was by her side a second later. The three men looked up and froze, and several other patrons stared at the scene unfolding with rapt attention. Jared was always a formidable sight, but tonight he seemed bigger, and more badass than usual.

  “Apologize,” he roared. “Now.”

  The three men didn’t move and Jared took a step toward the table. She reached out and gently placed her hand on his chest. He turned his dark gaze on her, and once again she felt his heart beating wildly beneath her hand.

  “You would stop me from protecting you?” he growled.

  “I’m not yours to protect,” she said, calmly. “Go sit down, Jared. My boss is on the way, and your date looks worried.”

  He didn’t listen, but he didn’t engage with the men, either. He waited for her boss to tell them to leave, and then he escorted them to the door and returned to his table.

  Fifteen minutes later, her shift was over and she couldn’t get out of the building fast enough. All she wanted to do was go home, turn on the TV and forget about Jared and his date. Unfortunately, the temperamental engine in her car decided to give up completely, and it wouldn’t even make a sound when she turned the key.

  She had no choice but to walk home.

  As she walked, her mind wandered, and she stopped paying attention to her surroundings. When the huge truck pulled up to the curb and inched along beside her, fear dowsed all her thoughts of Jared until he started yelling at her.

  “What the hell are you doing?” he roared.

  When she heard his voice, anger replaced her fear and she yelled back.

  “Walking, duh.”

  She kept moving forward, and he continued to inch along the curb.

  “Get in the fucking truck!”

  “No!”

  “Leah,” he growled in warning.

  “Don’t you have a date to worry about?” she snapped back.

  “I don’t care about her and you know it,” he admitted. “Now, get in the truck.”

  She stopped walking and glanced between him and the road in front of her. She didn’t want his help, but she still had a long walk ahead of her and her feet hurt from standing for the past nine hours.

  “Fine,” she said, exasperated, and got in the vehicle.

  “What happened to your car?”

  “I don’t know…it finally died, I guess.”

  He nodded, but he didn’t say anything else until he stopped in front of her apartment building. The tension in the cab was palpable, and the small victory she’d felt when he’d admitted feeling nothing for the woman was short lived when she remembered the comfortable silence they used to share.

  “I know I hurt you,” he said, “but I warned you in the beginning that I don’t do commitment. It’s better to hurt a little bit now, then to continue this charade and hurt a lot later. I’m a bad man, Leah, and you deserve someone decent and kind, and… You deserve someone like you.”

  “A few fights doesn’t make you a bad man, Jared. We can move past that.”

  “Leah,” he sighed, “it’s more than just a few fights. When I was fifteen, my parents kicked me out because they didn’t want me anymore and I had nowhere to turn for help. I had to learn to survive as both a man and a bear, and it wasn’t always pretty. I’ve killed, sweetheart, and sometimes I even enjoyed it. The fact that I’ve done jail time isn’t just a rumor, and it wasn’t for manslaughter. I’ve got a record a mile long, and I don’t regret most of what’s on it. I’m trash, and one day you’ll thank me for letting you go.”

  It was the first time he’d shared anything personal, and though she knew it was meant to push her away, it only made her love him more.

  “That’s not true,” she said, moving across the bench. “I know you’re a good man, and I don’t care about your past—”

  “You don’t care?” he roared. “What the fuck is wrong with you? My past defines me. It will stay with me forever. If I have kids, it will plague them, too. You’re too young and naïve to think it doesn’t matter, but I’m not. It matters, and this conversation is over. We. Are. Over.”

  She was only six years younger than him, but she didn’t argue the point. The way she felt about him had nothing to do with naiveté and everything to do with love, but in that moment she knew she’d never be able to change his mind. She moved back to her side of the truck and gathered her belongings.

  “Okay, you win,” she said. “It doesn’t matter how much I love you, or the fact that I’m willing to accept all of you without judgement. The only thing that matters is you, and the way you view yourself. Even though you’re an asshole most of the time, your friends and coworkers still love you, I still love you, but you keep everyone at arms-length and refuse to let them in. You’re standing in your own way by denying yourself even the tiniest bit of happiness, and I hope one day you figure out that it’s not worth it. Despite your past, you deserve to love and to be loved in return.”

  She opened the door, and looked at him one last time. His hands gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were white, and she had a feeling he’d be searching for a replacement part in the morning.

  “Goodnight, Jared.”

  He didn’t say a word, and she closed the door and watched him speed away. Probably for the last time.

  She wasn’t a bear, but she instinctively knew he was meant to be hers, and the finality of his departure made her heart ache. Tears filled her eyes, but she didn’t let them fall until she was safe inside her apartment.

  Even though he’d warned her ahead of time about not committing to a relationship, she’d started to believe he’d changed his mind. They were so good as a couple, and when they were together, he’d treated her like she’d meant something. It was one of the reasons she’d bought the mugs, which turned out to be a huge mistake.

  Now all she had to do was figure out how to live with a broken heart.

  Chapter Five

  Jared peeled out of the parking lot and raced toward the forest at the edge of town. The shifters in Liberty were lucky enough to have two places to roam in their bear forms, the nature preserve on one end of town, and the forest on the other.

  He gripped the steering wheel so tight it cracked in his hand, and the stupidity of that action fueled his rage. He wanted to hit something, to fight, and not just with his fists.

  He saw the tree line ahead and he aimed for the biggest, fattest trunk. He stepped on the gas, determined to hurt physically so the band around his heart would disappear.

  At the last minute, he rejected his plan, and turned the wheel sharply. The tires bounced over moss, ivy, rocks and dirt, but he saved everything except a taillight on the passenger side.

  The crush of the plastic echoed in the cab, and some of his anger dissipated. He’d done a lot of damage in his life, but he didn’t usually try and destroy his personal property.

  This wasn’t about the truck.

  It wasn’t. It was about pain.

  As soon as he left Leah behind, the tension in his body returned full-force. The more distance he put between them, the more his tension grew. Being around her made him feel grounded, calm and…loved. How was he supposed to live without her?

  You’re not, asshole. That’s why she’s your mate.

  He didn’t deserve a mate. She said she didn’t care about his past, but one day she would wake up and realize her mistake. Once he marked her, it would kill him to let her go, and her joyless smile would return for the rest of their lives.

  He couldn’t do that to her.

  He parked the truck on the side of the road, jumped out of the cab and walked into the forest. The shift into his bear form happened in an instant, and he liked the fact that the magic allowed him to change without taking off his clothes.

  He sniffed in the crisp forest air, and then he ran.

  The need for physical contact drove him hard. He rushed tree trunks head-on, turning at the last minute to collide against the bark with his ribs, and tried to make jumps he knew were impossible for his large bear form. Branches and bark scrapped his body and tore at his flesh, but he didn’t care.

  He ran, and tumbled, and fought with nature until his battered and bruised body rolled down an embankment, and landed in a ditch lined with rocks on the side of the road. He tried to get up, but he lacked the strength to move, so he closed his eyes and let the healing process begin.

  A few hours later, the rays of the sun warmed his fur, and he opened his eyes and surveyed his surroundings. Even though he’d travelled for most of the night, he’d paid no attention to direction, and he’d ended up only a couple miles from his truck.

  He stood on all fours to lumber back to his truck when he noticed the house across the street. The huge lot was surrounded by a white wooden fence, and the same style posts were used to make the railing on the porch that wrapped around the house. White shutters and trim detailed the light blue home making it look like something out of a fairy tale.

  A For Sale sign in the yard caught his attention, and with three bedrooms, and two baths, it was the picture-perfect place to start a family. His bear grunted in satisfaction, and the man had the urge to smile again. Though the feeling frightened him, it didn’t feel like it would suffocate him like it had before.

  Instead, he felt hope.

  Suddenly the weight of his past lifted and he realized Leah had been right. Again. He’d given his past too much power, and in return, it threatened every aspect of his life.

  He kept his apartment nearly empty, because he never intended to plant roots. Except for the furniture, which he would leave behind, everything would fit in the back of his truck. He never let people close, because his parents, and so called friends on the street, had broken his trust nearly twenty years ago. He fought to stay alive so often, he forgot how to live without using his fists.

  The truth was, he wanted a home and a family.

  He wanted to live in a story book home, and have a mate and children. He wanted friends to invite over for a Sunday barbeque, and he wanted to lose the urge to fight all the time. He wanted to plant roots, and open up a business showcasing his secret barbeque sauce. He wanted all of those things, and he wanted them with Leah.

  His past may have sucked, but he wasn’t his parents. He was capable of love, Leah had shown him that, and he knew he would never forsake his family. He may have done evil things in the past, but he wasn’t evil. Except for fighting, which was an excellent way to manage his tension, he didn’t purposely look for ways to hurt people. If he did, Leah would have dumped him first.

  Shit! I am so fucked!

  His bear roared in triumph and he ran down the street in his bear form. It was the shortest path to his truck, and he needed to get to the vehicle as soon as possible.

  His whole life was about to change, and he couldn’t wait to get started.

  ***

  A few hours later, Jared poked his head into Gabe’s office and rapped his knuckles on the door. Gabe worked the floor every night with Lucky, but he always came in early to do paperwork without the distractions of the club.

  “Hey, can I talk to you?”

  “Sure, come on in,” Gabe said.

  Even though no one else was in the building, he entered the small room and closed the door behind him.

  “Your dish is in that bag,” Gabe said, pointing to the shopping bag on the end table.