Copyright © 2022 S.J. Black

  All rights reserved

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

  ISBN-13: 9781234567890

  ISBN-10: 1477123456

  Front Cover by S. Jahne

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2018675309

  Printed in the United States of America

  Contents

  Copyright

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Epilogue

  thank you

  SONG LIST

  for

  MAKE ME

  Seventeen Going Under - Sam Fender

  Only Us - Laura Dreyfuss, Ben Platt

  Easier said - Kacey Musgraves

  When It’s Over - Amber Olivier

  All Night Parking (with Erroll Garner) Interlude - Adele

  Last valentines - Pinkpantheress

  Hallucination - Years & Years, Regard

  Cut You Off - Little Mix

  Avenue - H.E.R.

  To Love a Man - Celeste

  Remind Me - Tom Grennan

  CHAPTER ONE

  HUDSON

  “Have you ever fallen in love?”

  The barbed question floats in the air, drawing attention from the crowd around me. They look with interest glazed in their curious expressions. Has Hudson King ever fallen in love? Does he hold someone dear to his heart? Is there a lady that softens his notorious armor?

  They all want to know.

  The world waits in anticipation and I glance towards the crowd, hoping to see a familiar face.

  But she’s not there.

  Why would she be?

  She’s nothing but a ghost that won’t stop haunting me.

  The journalist - Katy something, gives me a saccharine smile. I can barely find the motivation to the lift the edges of my mouth.

  I need to smile more, Cecilia tells me. It’s not good for optics to growl every answer out.

  So here’s me trying.

  Fucking A.

  I give her a tight smile. “Who hasn’t?”

  Katy chuckles, motioning to the crowd. “Oh, well, a lot of us haven’t found the one yet. Am I right ladies?”

  The crowd whoops, applauding in agreement. She lifts a pointed eyebrow. “What we really want to know is if the Panthers quarterback has a special someone in his life? Is there someone to come home to?”

  “Well, how can I when gorgeous woman in front of me won’t let me take her out for a date?”

  Katy blushes, fanning her face. “Oh, God, I can’t with you!”

  I lift her hand to my lips, granting her a chaste brush of a kiss. This throws the audience into an enthusiastic uproar.

  “I’m ready when you are,” I say jokingly.

  Throw in a charming grin. A seductive wink to Katy. And the image is sealed.

  The studio audience hollers wildly, applauding. I glance over to Cecilia, giving her a pointed look.

  How’s that for optics?

  ——

  "Show off."

  Cecilia walks with me with a proud grin. "I mean, that was immaculate. Couldn’t have trained you better myself.”

  I shrug off my blazer, throwing it at an assistant. We make our way inside our car. “Drop Cecilia off.” I nod to the driver.

  “Excuse me, we still have press interviews to prep for.”

  “Didn’t you see me out there? I smashed it. We can take the evening off,” I sigh, leaning my head back.

  “That’s not how it works,” she purses her lips.

  “Come on, Cecilia, gimme a break,” I break out with a charming grin.

  She bends a little, frowning. “Where are you going?” she frowns.

  “Out.”

  “Specific,” she snorts.

  “Out with friends.”

  “I gather that but where?”

  I meet her curious stare. Some things are better kept private. Even from my publicist.

  When I don’t respond, she narrows her eyes. “Hudson, don’t do anything that makes my job harder.”

  “Wouldn’t dream of it,” I wink.

  ——

  I enter The Hive, an exclusive nightclub, taking the VIP booth as Trevor and my teammates trickle in. They’re already drunk. I hand the waitress a hefty tip; tonight doesn’t need to get out to the papers.

  Discretion is key.

  “I’m so done with this season,” Drew says. He’s on the Panthers team. A tight end.

  “You will be when we kick your ass,” Trevor grins, eyeing the women in the club. He spots a petite blonde in the middle on the dance floor, motioning to the managers to bring her over. They do this a lot. Pick and choose random girls. Bring them to the table. Take them to the hotel. Fuck them until you're too exhausted to move. The usual way to block out unpleasant thoughts. Alcohol and lots of nameless pretty girls.

  It’s all I can do to push her out.

  Her.

  I swig back the drinks, eager to let the alcohol numb my heart.

  This interview was a fucking nightmare.

  I kept thinking about her.

  Her.

  The girl who pushed me away.

  Why can’t you fucking forget her?

  What’s wrong with you?

  “Brunette, twelve o’clock,” Drew shouts to me. “She’s got eyes for you.”

  "You sure you're not drunk?"

  "I am but she definitely wants you, King."

  “Bring her over,” I say blearily.

  I don’t remember much about her face. Full lips. Tits on display in a tight red dress. She grins at me, whispering seductively in my ear as I drink back the champagne.

  “You wanna go somewhere private?” I murmur huskily into her ear. She nods eagerly. "I thought you'd never ask, Hudson." Her fingers trail my chest suggestively.

  I take her hand, moving towards a private members room, paid for by the highest clients.

  What are you doing?

  She’s not Mabel.

  Stop trying to replace her.

  I shake my head, growling under my breath. These thoughts are fucking killing me.

  The girl kisses me on the mouth as I lay back on the couch. Her kisses trail down my chest until she unzips my pants, releasing my hardened cock. I don’t look at her as she takes me into her warm mouth. Leaning my head back, I close my eyes.

  My thoughts drift.

  Back to her.

  My body thrums in pleasure at the memory of her.

  Imagining her.

  Mabel.

  My muscles contract, my climax building up suddenly. I push the girl away, grabbing her by the back of her head, roughly capturing her lips with my mouth. She moans softly. But the sounds are nothing like the woman I want. I can’t stop imagining a different woman, a different life.

  Grabbing her by the hips, I flip her over on her stomach. She giggles, pushing her ass against my hardened cock.

  “You’re insatiable,” she says in a voice that’s too high-pitched.

  Nothing like her.

  Without another word, I align my cock against her dripping entrance and push to the hilt. She gasps loudly, arching. I fuck her hard, pounding her cunt until my release builds up. The girl moans, uttering spilled gasps of praise but it's not what I'm thinking about. Chasing my release, I close my eyes, picturing a pair of wide brown eyes and that rosy small smile.

  Fuck!

  I pull out, spilling over onto her back.

  Damn it, Mabel.

  I can’t let you go.

  CHAPTER TWO

  MABEL

  Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

  I’m late.

  LATE.

  I quickly take my place behind three other interns, hoping to blend in before Val Stern catches my poor punctuality.

  “One thing about this internship? It’s going to make or break you all.”

  Val Stern gives us all a sharp look. There are four grads who’ve made it to Synergy Elite Management after college. I turn to the girl next to me, both of us wincing in solidarity.

  We’re probably wondering if we’re about to burn into dust.

  “Just because you’re part of the Synergy team, it doesn’t mean you get to relax. We work hard to represent our clients and expect premium results. The highest and the best. Nothing less. Got it?”

  We murmur in agreement. Val crosses her arms, nodding to our desks. “Okay, scram.” She narrows her eyes at me. “Except for you, Woodcock.”

  Shit.

  She noticed for sure.

  I follow Val into her office, closing the door at her request. She motions for me to sit and I
try not to fidget.

  Calm and collected.

  That’s the spirit.

  Her green eyes glitter with amusement. “So, how are you finding it?”

  She’s talking about the placement, Mabel. Not your tardiness.

  Wake up.

  “Good. Great. Love it!”

  Okay, overkill.

  She scoffs under her breath, swivelling on her chair. Her gaze cuts to the huge view that overlooks LA. It’s an office view to die for and shows that Val is the highest earner in this company. I mean, the view alone probably cost more than a five bedroom Mountford house.

  “Great to hear,” she drawls.

  Something’s off.

  I tilt my head, watching her carefully. “Is everything alright?”

  “Not quite.”

  I think my heart rate just went up.

  “Oh?” I say in a light voice.

  Her tight emerald eyes darken. “There’s something you should know.”

  I wait for her response. Dread seeps through my veins. This doesn’t sound positive no matter how I spin it. I knew I shouldn't have overslept. Now I'm going to face a terrible probation period. I’ve barely started yet I feel like I’ve been pulled into my disciplinary exit meeting.

  “There’s going to be a merger,” she murmurs.

  “A merger?”

  “A merger with our competitor - Maverick Elite.”

  “I wasn’t aware we were being bought out,” I frown.

  “We weren’t. Synergy wasn’t in the market but Maverick Elite were,” she fiddles with a pen on her desk. “The parent company were persuaded to purchase Maverick and merge with our division. They had been considering upscaling. Someone gave them a push. Do you want to know who suggested it?”

  I swallow down a lump in my throat.

  Val smiles without humor. “It seems you already know the answer to that.”

  I smile tightly. “I’m not sure I follow.”

  “Look, I just wanted to give you a heads up considering Hudson King wouldn’t let me agree to a joint representation unless you were explicitly made aware of it -“

  “I beg your pardon?”

  Val frowns. “You…seriously don’t know?”

  “Know what?”

  “My apologies, I thought…I thought you knew; he wanted Synergy to represent him alongside Maverick Elite. Specifically, he asked for you to be present in all meetings going forward.”

  I’m going to be sick.

  He seriously…

  He didn’t.

  Of course, he did.

  Don’t you remember his last words? He made that promise for a reason. He always gets what he wants.

  Did you really think you could walk away without a challenge?

  He took Cecilia’s offer and you really thought you would never see him again.

  “I…I had nothing to do with this, Ms Stern,” I say carefully. “I never meant to bring my personal life into this and believe me, I was not aware of Mr King's terms.”

  She laughs suddenly, her eyebrows raised. “Oh, my dear! You’re not seriously thinking that I disapprove? I don’t care what relationship you have with him but I do care about y business. Far as I see it, King is co-signing with Synergy. A clear win, if you ask me. I should be thanking you.”

  “No!” I blurt out before collecting myself. “I mean, no, I…I wanted to do well on this internship outside of any connections or my personal life.”

  On my own terms.

  Not Hudson’s.

  Val sighs. “Look, I get it - your pride is important here. But business is business. Don’t fight it, accept the good in the situation. This all helps in your appraisal when we select our permanent employees.”

  My head feels dizzy.

  This is not how I wanted things to go. I wanted to earn my position here. This? This feels like I’ve cheated somehow, cheated in the process by being handed the trophy.

  I need some air.

  “I…I should get back.”

  “Sure,” she motions to the door, standing up. When I head out, I grab my phone and walk out of the office, resting at bench near the building, shaded by some blossom trees.

  “Great,” I sigh to myself. "Just great."

  This wasn’t how I expected my first week to go at all.

  How am I going to gain the respect of my coworkers or bosses if they think I bought my way here? If they think that I got my position through my connections?

  A connection I didn’t even ask for.

  I sigh, fiddling with the loose thread from my skirt.

  “Pull that anymore and you’ll have to wear an invisibility cloak the office.”

  An amused voice breaks me out of my stupor. I glance up to a woman with bright pink hair. She sits next to me, leaning back on the bench with her arms relaxed on the back. She hands me a packet of jelly cola bottles.

  “Want one?”

  I purse my lips. She senses my hesitation, pushing them into my hand.

  "Thanks," I smile, chomping on the sweet. The girl continues eating.

  “So you’re a newbie.”

  I widen my eyes. “You work at Synergy?”

  “I’m in the internship program too,” she says with her mouth full. “Was a little late so thought I’d walk in after you, that way I don’t get too much of a talking down by Val. Strength in numbers.”

  I extend my hand. “I’m Mabel.”

  She takes my hand, shaking it. “Maude.”

  “Huh, I like your name.”

  “You too. Don’t we sound like a couple of old-timers?”

  “Mabel and Maude, now that’s a duo,” I chuckle, glancing at the busy city landscape.

  “You made any friends here yet, Mabel?”

  “Nope,” I pop, taking another cola bottle. “Any friends I would have probably made are going to look at me like the nepotism baby.”

  “Nepotism baby?”

  I squint my eyes. “People will start talking and they’ll say that I got here because of my connection to Hudson King, which isn’t even true considering I literally broke up -“ I stop myself, wincing. “Sorry, I’m venting.”

  Maude tilts her head. “Well, you don’t look like a nepo baby.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Not a compliment. Maybe lose the low confidence."

  I blink rapidly. "I'm sorry?"

  "You have low self-esteem."

  "Um, is that noticeable?"

  "Nepo babies always have confidence. Normally it's unfounded. Play it to your advantage." Maude shrugs, giving me a wink. "It's a tough path to promotion, Mabel. Might as well play the game."

  CHAPTER THREE

  MABEL

  “Is it just me or is Adonis staring at you?”

  Maude baulks, whispering in my ear. We’re tapping away at our assigned desks, answering the brunt of emails that is strictly intern territory. A tedious task and something to take my mind off things - that is until Hudson’s entire team walked through the Synergy doors.

  Now, he’s in Val’s office, surrounded by his manager and lawyers, all the while he stares at me. His attention flickers between where I’m sitting and back to the conversation at hand.

  By the way, he’s annoyingly still as sexy as ever. Where is the justice in the world? Hudson’s physique is broader, filled with more muscle, accentuated by the tight leather jacket that hugs his biceps. His strong jawline and bright blue eyes still capture the attention of every woman in the room and I’m no exception. His dark hair is longer now, sitting just below his ears, giving him a roguish model look.

  I am so whipped.

  And I am so not losing my internship because of him.

  “He’s really cute,” Maude notes, chomping on a bag of chips.

  “They’re all cute.”

  “This one is really, really cute and football players aren’t my type. Did you see how big his hands are?”

  “Maude,” I mutter tightly. “I don’t want to think about his dick size.”

  Cos you’ve already seen it?

  Shut up.

  I’m trying to ignore the elephant in the room.

  But turns out my brain wants to make me painfully aware of his other elephant.

  “Earth to Mabel.”

  “Hm?” I say nonchalantly as possible.