Love utley love letters.., p.23

  Love, Utley: Love Letters Book One, p.23

Love, Utley: Love Letters Book One
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  “Mom and Chelsea made them,” I say quietly.

  Maddox stares at the pile of jerseys. The red and yellow frosting is bright, even in the dimly lit restaurant.

  “Babe.” His voice sounds scratchier than it did a moment ago.

  I lift a shoulder. “They made them while wearing their new jerseys.”

  A big arm slings around my shoulders and pulls me toward him.

  My chair starts to tip, and someone — Max — on the other side of me, presses it back down.

  “Christ, man, you almost knocked her over,” Max snaps.

  But Maddox is busy pressing his lips against the top of my head.

  Bent over, I reach into the container and take out the cookie with the number nineteen piped on it. Max’s number.

  I pass it over to Max as Maddox finally lets me go.

  “What’s this?” Max stares down at the cookie.

  “My niece made it for you. She googled your number and said you’d probably play for the Biters soon anyway.”

  Max looks up at me, then back to the cookie, then over to Maddox. “Kiss her again.”

  ONE HUNDRED TWO

  MADDOX

  I don’t often listen to my little brother, but in this case, I do as he says and pull Hannah back to me. Only this time, I press my lips to hers.

  “You’re the fucking best,” I tell her, with my lips still against hers.

  “I didn’t do anything. When I got home from work yesterday, they were already decorating them.”

  “Doesn’t matter.” I kiss her once more, then let her go.

  Waller is leaning over the table, reaching into the container.

  I yank it away.

  “Hey!” he complains.

  “These are mine.”

  “Max got one,” Waller argues.

  “That one had Max’s number on it.” I look over and see Max taking a photo of the cookie.

  “We can make more.” Hannah tries to pacify me. “I brought these to share.”

  “Yeah, you should share,” Tony says with his mouth full.

  When I turn to look, he shoves the last bite of a cookie into his mouth.

  “You’re such a shady fuck.” I narrow my eyes at him.

  He lifts his other hand, showing off the second cookie he stole out from under me.

  Waller snatches it out of his grip. “Shady fuck for the win.”

  Hannah places her hand on my thigh. “There’s still more at the house.”

  I hold the container against my body and look down at the little football jersey cookies.

  They’re good. Like really good. Like this family should’ve owned a bakery instead of a flower shop.

  I take out one with my number on it and hand it to Hannah. “You can have this one.”

  She smiles at me, and I know she’s biting down on a laugh, but I don’t care.

  No one has ever done anything like this for me before.

  I pull out a cookie with a giant heart on it, then set the container down, letting the vultures swoop in for more.

  My throat has to work twice as hard to swallow the buttery, sweet cookie.

  All of them, Hannah’s mom and Hannah’s little niece, they’ve all found their way into my heart. And I’m not letting any of them go.

  ONE HUNDRED THREE

  BRANDON

  My hands tremble on the bar top.

  This lying, scheming, traitorous whore.

  Rage slithers down my spine.

  For years. For fucking years, I’ve been sucking up to that bitch. Giving her time. Letting her get comfortable around me.

  I’ve given up so much for her.

  I’ve been so nice to her.

  For fucking what?

  For her to spread her fucking legs for Mad Dog Maddox?

  I pick up my cocktail and tip it back, swallowing the expensive liquid.

  I narrow my eyes at the table across the dining room, watch him put his filthy mouth on her.

  I don’t want to stay.

  I don’t want to sit here and fucking watch this.

  I don’t want to act like a fucking doormat as they walk all over me.

  “Want another?” the bartender asks, only paying me attention once my drink is empty.

  I slide my empty glass toward him. “Yes.”

  I think about the way Maddox rubbed his fucking car in my face.

  I think about him stepping out of her office after that tacky party.

  I think about her telling me she had a boyfriend.

  Nearby laughter scrapes across my nerves.

  I came here by chance. I’d read an article about how great it was. Saw the photos of the beautiful women seated at the bar, figured I’d come take my shot.

  I clench my teeth as I pull my phone out of my pocket.

  I’ll take my shot, alright.

  Opening the camera, I act like I’m reading something, but I slide my fingers across the screen and zoom in.

  ONE HUNDRED FOUR

  MADDOX

  Tony grins at me over Hannah’s shoulder as he hugs her goodbye.

  It’s dark outside, but not so dark I can’t make out his stupid expression.

  “Okay. That’s enough.” I slap my hand down on his shoulder.

  “It was great to meet you.” Hannah smiles at Tony as she pulls away.

  “Alright, say goodbye to Max, then we’re out of here,” I tell Hannah.

  She furrows her brow. “Isn’t he coming with us?”

  At the table, I stopped her from ordering a ride by telling her I’d drive her home. But she knows I rode here with Max, so it’s a safe assumption.

  “Waller is gonna drive him back. He lives closer to our parents’ place than I do. Plus, I brought the car so he wouldn’t fit anyway.”

  “Oh.” She hesitantly opens her arms toward Max. “Sorry I stole your ride.”

  Max takes the hug. “I didn’t want to ride with that sap anyway.”

  Those fucking cookies have everything inside me rattled, so I shouldn’t be surprised when the sight of my brother hugging my girl like she’s family twists my insides even further.

  Tony bumps his shoulders against mine. “I’m gonna take it personally if you don’t invite me to the wedding.”

  I roll my eyes. “Like you’d stay away even if I didn’t.”

  Tony smirks, then starts to back away down the sidewalk. “I call shotgun.”

  “Fucker,” Max grumbles as he lets go of Hannah. “See you tomorrow,” he says to me before he turns and sprints past Tony.

  Draping my arm around Hannah, we wave to Waller, then turn and head in the other direction.

  Hannah leans into my side, “I could’ve gotten a ride so you could spend more time with your brother.”

  I turn so I can press a kiss to her hair. “You’re sweet.”

  She leans into my side. “I’m serious.”

  “I know.” I kiss her again.

  I can’t get enough.

  I need to have all of her, all the time.

  We reach my car, and instead of opening the passenger door for her, I turn her so her back is to the car, then I crowd her until she’s pressed between the vehicle and my body.

  Hannah reaches up, placing her palm against my cheek. “You okay?”

  I love and hate that she can read me so easily.

  “I’m driving you home because I’m following you in and spending the night in your bed.” I lift my hand to hold her cheek the way she’s holding mine. “I’ll set an alarm and leave early, but I need to spend time with you. Okay?”

  She nods against my palm. “Does this mean I won’t see you again for a few days?”

  I trace my thumb across her soft cheek. “I’ll be gone a week.”

  The side of her mouth pulls into a sad smile. “Oh.”

  “I know. I’m starting to wish I hadn’t agreed to it, but I told Max I’d go to Arizona with him and help him move. He’s been living in the dorms this whole time since it’s free, but he’s decided to move into the Football House for his senior year.”

  “Aww.” This time her smile is real. “That’ll be a nice thing to do together.”

  “Yeah, well, I told him he’ll owe me since he never helped me move.”

  Hannah snickers. “Wasn’t he a child when we were in college?”

  “Excuses.” I lean closer. “I’m pretty hurt about it, actually. Probably need some kisses to make me feel better.”

  She bites her lip, mischief in her eyes. “I bet if we yell real loud, they’ll hear us. Then Max could come give you some kisses.”

  I slide my hand from her cheek to the front of her throat. “Silly Rabbit.”

  I press my lips to hers.

  ONE HUNDRED FIVE

  HANNAH

  Walking up to the house, I can see a soft glow coming from Mom’s window upstairs, but the rest of the lights in the house are out.

  Maddox keeps his hand on my back as I unlock the door.

  He held my hand the whole ride home, his fingers clutching mine like I might roll out of the car if he let go.

  It was sweet but unnecessary because I wasn’t going to let go anyway.

  It’s only been a couple of weeks since I first saw him in the interview, but those weeks have changed my life.

  It should be crazy. Impossible. Unlikely.

  And maybe with anyone else, it would be.

  But the first time Maddox was in my life, it was just for one week, slightly less. And from that, he consumed my thoughts for years. A decade. More.

  Mon Petite Lapin.

  I have to swallow as I bend down to take off my shoes.

  Since reuniting, Maddox has done nothing to make me doubt his sincerity. But tonight, seeing the wine label. Understanding what it meant. Having the proof of his feelings for me right there, tangible in front of me… it was everything.

  It was the solid evidence I needed that he never forgot about me either.

  I leave my purse, with the empty container inside, on the bench by the front door and take Maddox’s hand again.

  Quietly, in the dark, we walk across the living area back to my bedroom.

  In my room, I turn on the side lamp and gather my pajamas.

  I don’t waste time in the bathroom as I go through my nightly routine, and when I return to the room, Maddox is lying on the far side of my bed, facing the door, with the blankets pulled back so I can see he’s in his boxers and Henley.

  “Comfy?” I ask as I turn off the lamp and climb into bed with him.

  “Not yet. Your bed sucks.”

  I snicker because, compared to his, it’s true.

  Maddox hooks an arm around my waist and pulls me so my back is to him. “But nothing is more comfortable than sleeping against your warm body.”

  I wiggle against him, shifting down a few inches so I can use his bicep like a pillow. “Pretty sure you’re the warm one in this relationship.”

  The arm over my waist pulls me snugger against him — his forearm across my stomach, his hand tucking between me and the mattress. “You have those cold girl hands, but you’re warm where it counts.”

  I huff. “Why does that feel like a dirty joke?”

  His hips shift behind me. “Hush, woman. If you don’t want me fucking you in this squeaky cot, you won’t remind me about the heat of your damn mouth right now.”

  “Cot?” I laugh.

  “Bunny, this mattress is sized for children.”

  “It’s a full,” I argue.

  “So we agree.”

  I shake my head. “You’re being like ‘The Princess and The Pea’ right now.”

  He squeezes me tighter. “I don’t know what that means.”

  I let my eyes close as I snuggle into him farther. “Another book we’ll have to read together.”

  His big body expands behind me as he yawns. “Deal.”

  “Thanks for inviting me to dinner tonight,” I tell him. “It was nice to meet Max and your friends.”

  “You’re welcome.” His voice rumbles against me. “I’m glad you could come.”

  Silence settles around us, and my body relaxes into his.

  Sleep creeps in around the edges of my awareness, and I breathe in the scent of him, agreeing that his arms are the most comfortable place on earth.

  “Babe?”

  “Mm-hmm,” I hum.

  “Remember when your mom asked why I never got engaged?” His voice rumbles against my back.

  “I remember,” I whisper.

  “Because none of them were you, Hannah.” His voice is deep. Gravelly. “I never forgot you. Even when I tried, I never forgot.”

  ONE HUNDRED SIX

  HANNAH

  BB Wolf: Have a nice Friday, Little Bunny.

  Me: Thanks, in the elevator now.

  Me: What are your plans for the day?

  BB Wolf: Hitting the weight room with Max and his housemates this morning. Prepare yourself for my eventual death.

  Me: Maybe remember that you’re retired and you have nothing to prove.

  BB Wolf: Never. I’d rather die in my hotel than accept defeat.

  Me: This is why women live longer.

  BB Wolf: Maybe. But also, I think nature knew we wouldn’t be able to survive without our women, and that’s why you live longer.

  Me: I don’t know how you can be so sweet and so stupid at the same time.

  BB Wolf: It’s one of my many talents.

  The elevator doors slide open, and I smile as I step off onto my floor, typing the last text while I walk toward my office.

  Me: I’m at the office. Please try not to die today.

  Slipping my phone into my purse, I return hellos as I walk down the hall.

  It’s only been a few days since I saw Maddox.

  Since the dinner.

  Since we fell asleep together in my small bed.

  Since I woke up alone.

  Just a few days, but still far too long.

  When I first found out Maddox was the new owner, all I wanted was for him not to be in the office. But now I dread the days he’s not here.

  I drop all my stuff on my desk and turn back around, heading to the break room.

  I didn’t bring lunch today, figured I’d eat my feelings with some takeout, but I still need my coffee.

  Donut Guy is in his usual spot, but other than him, the room is empty.

  Maddox has made me coffee a few times, and it’s always been in the same handmade mug, so I select that one from the cupboard and set it on the counter.

  I pour my coffee, then turn to get my creamer from the fridge and jump.

  Brandon is there. Standing at the fridge, his cotton candy drink in hand.

  “Oh, hey, Brandon.” I press my hand over my heart. “You startled me.”

  “Oops.” His tone is flat, and instead of saying more — bothering me like he usually does — he turns and walks toward the door.

  Well, that was uncomfortable.

  The part of me controlled by society feels a little bad about telling him I have a boyfriend. But the rest of me realizes that’s fucking nonsense.

  He’s done nothing to be considerate of my boundaries.

  He’s never taken one single hint that I’m not interested.

  He’s pushed himself into my space more times than I can count.

  He’s been a constant annoyance and, worse than that, a threat since I started. Because women in the workplace are so easily labeled as difficult to work with. We’re chastised for being too sensitive when a man says something grossly offensive and inappropriate to us. We’re meant to laugh with them when they make derogatory comments about other women in front of us. We’re supposed to put up with so much motherfucking shit from men and not do anything about it for fear of losing our jobs. All while the worst men can’t rub two brain cells together to consider that maybe they’re the hard ones to work with. That maybe they need to take a moment to think before they speak. Their egos are the largest hindrance to progress. That maybe their biggest worry is absolutely trivial compared to our biggest worries.

  I heave out a breath and remind myself I won’t stay here much longer.

  Brandon’s behavior didn’t really get any worse after Maddox bought the company; it’s just that Maddox is everything Brandon isn’t. And it shows just how predatory Brandon has been.

  Pulling my half-and-half out of the fridge, I turn toward my coffee.

  Toward my memories of Maddox.

  Toward thoughts of a man who respects women.

  And I forget all about Brandon and his hurt little feelings.

  ONE HUNDRED SEVEN

  MADDOX

  “How much shit are you buying?” Max asks when I hang up the phone.

  I’d just given directions to the delivery truck on how to get into the garage.

  “Lots of shit,” I answer, wiping sweat from my forehead. “Now mind your business and do another set.”

  ONE HUNDRED EIGHT

  HANNAH

  My mind is focused on what I’m going to order for lunch when my email alert sounds.

  Checking it, I see a message from my manager asking me to come to her office.

  With a sigh, I push back from my desk and stand.

  Usually when she asks to talk to me, it’s because she’s about to hand me a big project with a short deadline. Love that for me on a Friday.

  Grabbing a notebook and pen, I roll my neck out as I make my way down the hall.

  I didn’t hate my bed before, and when Maddox is crammed onto the mattress with me, I love it, but since then, I’ve discovered I don’t sleep as well without him.

 
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