Jon gave his findings to the admiral without her present, but she was allowed to watch it on video. She wondered if the pretence of confidentiality was for her or Jon.

  “This is a woman who has suffered a major loss, who has not yet allowed herself to grieve.”

  “Is she depressed?” asked Orsaya.

  “She hasn’t allowed herself to be depressed yet.”

  “So you think the worst is to come.”

  “Maybe,” then, “Yes. Probably.”

  “And what is this worst?”

  “Well, depression. Possible suicidal thoughts.”

  “Suicidal thoughts?” Orsaya asked, sharp-voiced as ever.

  “Wish-I-was-dead type thing.” Jon shrugged. “It’s normal in situations like this.”

  “I should go and jump in the void and stay forever,” Katida suggested.

  “Possibly. But she won’t do it. She’s a strong-willed woman. She would have done it by now if she’d been going to.”

  From the way the admirals looked at each other, they thought that was what she had done.

  What had she done exactly? Thought about her ship and her crew. That wasn’t a crime.

  “Thank you,” Galenos said eventually, and they waited until he was gone before they called Kari Wang in.

  “I don’t know if you are aware,” Galenos said, “but yesterday you took the Eleven and its whole fleet into the void.”

  Fleet was a joke. One alien ship no one knew how to work. One royal yacht. One understaffed captured fleet ship. Another undergunned captured fleet ship. Two media ships and a space station.

  “One doesn’t enter the void by mistake. It takes preparation—and a trigger—to do so,” Kari Wang said. The safeguards were there for a reason. No one, alien or human, would allow such a dangerous maneuver without safeties in place. And on the Eleven, how could a nonlinesman like her enter the void anyway?

  “The danger seems to be in coming out the other end,” Admiral Katida said. “It’s probably quite safe going into the void.”

  Admiral Galenos said, “These are alien ships. We don’t know why they do what they do or how they do it. What were you thinking about before . . . before the incident?”

  He couldn’t very well say before his soldier pushed her off her chair, could he? Not that Lambert was a soldier.

  She tried to be honest. “I was thinking about my crew.” She looked at them all. They looked back. She couldn’t read any of the expressions. “I was disappointed. None of the crew here are real soldiers. For most of them, the lines are their life, or were until they failed certification. Naturally, I’d be disappointed.” She said it defiantly. “I had a good crew. They were soldiers.”

  Orsaya and Katida nodded. Kari Wang thought MacClennan might have, too, but he was better at hiding it.

  “Disappointed. Is that all?”

  She knew what Galenos wanted to hear. “I was thinking I might get an old ship and jump into the void and stay there forever.”

  “Forever is a very long time,” Katida said.

  If that had been the void, what was the point? It hadn’t felt a long time at all. “It won’t happen again.”

  “How can you be sure of that?” MacClennan asked.

  She thought carefully before she answered. She didn’t want this ship. They knew that. But she also needed them to know that she wasn’t going to sabotage it either. Or their puny fleet. It was a matter of honor.

  “There is a perception that diving into the void is final. That it solves everything because effectively you die. Lambert says we went into the void,” and she still wasn’t sure they had, but something had scared Lambert. And there was Mael’s reaction. “But I didn’t notice a thing. Since nothing happened for me, there’s no point to doing it, is there?”

  She let them think about that.

  “Also, I would not deliberately take a whole ship crew with me.” And definitely never multiple ships. “If I go, I go alone. Now that I understand the problem, I will endeavor to ensure it doesn’t happen again.”

  She hoped.

  The ship had to learn that people indulged in occasional melancholy. That didn’t mean it had to take everything literally.

  Galenos tapped the table in front of him, a slow tap, tap-tap. “Depression is hard to recognize sometimes. It can strike without warning and with ferocity. It is not something you can control.”

  “Isn’t the danger that I might take the ship into the void? What can I do?”

  Orsaya and Katida looked at each other. “What else can she do?” Orsaya asked.

  “Decide that the New Alliance is the cause of all her problems and choose to bomb them out of existence.”

  “Start feeling defensive and accidentally turn on the defense system.”

  “Crack, and take it out on anyone and everyone in the vicinity.”

  “When you ladies have finished scaring the rest of us,” Galenos said. “What can we do to prevent it?”

  Orsaya waved a hand as if that was foregone. “Keep her out of the Captain’s Chair.”

  It wasn’t that comfortable a chair anyway.

  “Other than that?”

  “Make her aware it might happen and have her watch it.” Orsaya leaned forward. “Can we stop talking about the dangers now and talk about the good things. The ship accepted her.”

  She hadn’t accepted the ship. She didn’t plan to, either.

  “It followed her orders, even though it had a level-twelve linesman on board.”

  The conversation shifted to how much Kari Wang’s prior captaincy had contributed. To the changes in brain activity observed since she had taken on the role. To whether or not they could use current captains to take on other alien ships.

  “You can’t take a captain away from her ship.” What did they think they could do? Switch captains and ships around as if they were disposable items. The blood that surged up made Kari Wang’s arms and legs ache. She made a conscious effort to smooth her hands, but she couldn’t stop the bite in her voice. “Surely you understand how cruel that would be.” She thought of Edie Song on the Gruen. “Not to mention, for most of us, it is, effectively, a demotion.”

  Katida pounced on the words. “Demotion? How?”

  “These ships can’t go anywhere. They’re stuck.”

  “They can move.”

  “But only as a group, which means to all intents and purposes they’re so much junk. Static storehouses, if you like.” Even the Eleven was although she felt disloyal thinking in those terms. “People will soon realize that. If you work your way up to captaincy, you don’t want to be left minding the store.” Even if it was an alien store.

  Katida sat back. “That’s an interesting way to put it.”

  It was the truth.

  “Let’s not tell Lambert she said that,” Orsaya muttered.

  Everyone laughed, except Galenos, although Kari Wang couldn’t see any reason to.

  “When you were thinking about your crew, just before you went into the void,” Galenos said. “Did the ship feel different?”

  “No.” She wouldn’t have noticed even if it had. She’d been too busy missing her crew. She still missed them.

  THIRTY-FIVE

  EAN LAMBERT

  ENTERING THE VOID again scared Ean. He was terrified he would be stuck there forever. He had to get over it, and the best way to do that was to go back into the void.

  “I know it’s stupid,” he told Radko, as they waited for a voice lesson with Gospetto. “I trust the lines.” At least, he wanted to. “But what if it happens again? What if I can’t get us out this time?”

  Radko, who’d listened silently through his outpouring, said, “It’s a perfectly understandable reaction. I’d be worried, too.”

  “I have to go back in.” He didn’t want to.

  “The sooner the better,” agreed Radko. “What’s our plan?”

  He wished she’d tried to talk him out of it.

  “We need to keep you as safe as we can.” Radko swapped from her left leg to her right leg. “We probably shouldn’t tell the admirals. You’re too valuable to waste.” She put the last word in air quotes.

  “I’ll be wasted if I don’t get over this.”

  “I know,” she said. “That’s why we need to do it fast. So you don’t have time to think about it. You’ll need someone to pull you out, if they can, which means you’ll need Rossi.”

  Ean wasn’t sure which was worse. The worry that he might drag Rossi into the void with him, or the fact that he’d have to admit a weakness to Rossi in the first place.

  “You’ll need Kari Wang because she controls the ship.”

  “She’s not going back onto the Eleven.”

  “Ean, you have no choice about that. She’s got the whole of the New Alliance behind her. And if she’s helping you, she won’t be going into black depressions, will she?”

  Suppose she couldn’t help herself.

  “She’s not going—” He couldn’t keep repeating the same thing over and over. Particularly since no one was listening to him. As Orsaya had said, the ship had accepted her. She was dangerous. He’d find a way to stop her damaging the ships and the people on it.

  “We’ll need the other two captains in on it.”

  There were only two other captains as far as most people were concerned. Ean wondered sometimes what the captains of the two media ships thought, or Captain Song. Or even the manager on Confluence Station.

  “Hmmm,” Radko said. “Too many people to keep it a secret. We need a cover. Maybe say you’re doing an experiment—” She hesitated, and they heard the ticker tacker of Gospetto’s shoes as he hurried down the corridor toward them—plastic toes were in on shoes. “Why don’t we say that you heard something while you were in there? Maybe bring a couple of other linesmen in. Do an experiment for real. Use people we know. Like Fergus and Tai.”

  That was going to make Abram, Katida, and Orsaya think they had something. It was almost like lying. Ean blew out his breath. They’d be disappointed when they found nothing.

  “We should ask Mael if he wants to take part in it, too,” Radko said. “I’m sure he doesn’t like the void any more than you do.”

  Radko thought of everything. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

  “You’d survive, Ean. You’re resilient.”

  Bendable, like pseudorubber.

  “I meant that as a compliment.”

  “You want to be careful, or I’ll make your hair stick out again.”

  “No, no, no,” Gospetto said as he reached them and heard the last part of the conversation. “What have you done to your voice now? Do my lessons mean nothing?”

  “I’m sorry,” Ean said meekly.

  * * *

  RADKO must have worked while Ean had his lesson with Gospetto, for when they were done, Radko said, “Tai’s on duty, but everyone else is available. Sale will collect Captain Kari Wang after her meeting with the admirals. Mael, too. Rossi.” She shrugged. “I’ve left him to Fergus. You’ll need to let Wendell and Helmo know.”

  “So soon?”

  “You don’t need time to think about it.” Radko fixed him with a glare. “Go and explain to Helmo that you’re taking the ships back into the void.”

  He’d prefer to wait until they were about to do it, but one didn’t argue with Radko.

  “Right.” He took a deep breath.

  “Go.”

  So he went. All the way to the bridge, where he realized he should have requested permission before he came, but by then it was too late, he was there.

  “Linesman Lambert requesting permission to come onto the bridge.” One day Kari Wang would make him do that on the Eleven. If she remained captain of the Eleven, and that was one thing both Abram and Michelle were adamant about. They couldn’t order a change of captain.

  “Permission granted.” Ean heard it through the lines, straight from the Captain’s Chair.

  “We’re planning an experiment with the lines later.” Did he sound as nervous as he felt? “We’re going to take the ships back into the void.”

  Helmo looked as if he could see right through him.

  “For how long?”

  Ean couldn’t help his shudder. “Not for as long as last time.”

  “I see,” and it seemed to Ean that Helmo did see. “Have you invited Linesman Mael to join you?”

  Ean nodded.

  “Let me know before you start, please.”

  Ean nodded again. “Thank you.”

  He left and waited until he was two corridors away before he took out his comms to call Wendell. His hands were shaking.

  Ean was halfway to the shuttle bay when Helmo caught up with him. “Ean.” He held out a small bottle. “Give this to Mael. It might help.”

  Helmo did know what they were doing, and why. Ean took the bottle awkwardly. “Thank you.”

  * * *

  SALE arrived with Tinatin in tow as well as Kari Wang and Mael. She shrugged at Ean’s raised brow. “She’s convinced we’re doing dastardly deeds. Brainwashing him or something. I nearly told her that we didn’t need him close to brainwash him, but she’d believe that. She thinks Lancia does horrible things.”

  Ean was Lancastrian, and he thought Lancia did horrible things.

  He looked down at the gray uniform he was wearing. Once, it had been something to fear. Now the uniform signified his home. The only family he had.

  Line one from the Eleven chimed chidingly in his head. The lines were his family.

  They were, too. Ean bowed in the direction of the ship lines. “Thank you.”

  Tinatin watched them all mistrustfully.

  Fergus arrived then. He had gone with Ru Li and Gossamer via Confluence Station to collect Jordan Rossi.

  Tinatin’s eyes widened.

  Ean hoped he wouldn’t spoil it by saying something cutting, like, “What’s your problem, sweetheart?” Rossi had no tact.

  Instead, Rossi looked around the ship. “This is cozy. Just us.”

  “And two teams of guards,” Sale said.

  Ean looked at Mael. “Will you be okay with this?”

  Mael shrugged. “Can’t say I’m looking forward to it. But it needs to be done.” His hands were shaking.

  “If you don’t want to do it, Mael,” Kari Wang said.

  “I need to do it, ma’am. I’ll be scared of this ship forever if I don’t.”

  Most of the soldiers nodded approvingly. Except Tinatin, who looked around suspiciously. “What are you going to do?”

  “I’m sorry I put you through this, Mael,” Kari Wang said. “I wouldn’t have if I had realized what I was doing.”

  Mael shrugged. “You didn’t mean to, ma’am.”

  “Let’s get this over with,” Sale said. “You,” to Kari Wang. “In the Captain’s Chair.” She said in an aside to Bhaksir as Kari Wang settled herself, “We should have brought the medic.”

  Tinatin’s voice rose. “What are you going to do?”

  “What are we going to do, sweetheart? We’re going to sing to the lines—you included—while the bastard here drops the ships into the void. And maybe brings them out again.” Then Rossi added maliciously, “If he can. That’s what we’re here for, to give him a lifeline out.”

  “Don’t mind Jordan,” Fergus said.

  “But look what happened last time. Mael went to the hospital.”

  At least it was an improvement on “Mael being arrested,”

  “What if he can’t?”

  “Tinatin,” Kari Wang said. She held up a hand for silence. “This is my ship. I control when it goes in and out of the void.”

  That was the trouble. She couldn’t control it.

  “It’s not up to Lambert. It’s up to me. It’s nice of you to be concerned, but if you want to be part of this, shut up and do what you’re told.” She looked at Ean. “For what it’s worth, now that I understand what I did, and that it’s no solution, I won’t be wishing for it again.”

  He nodded. It wasn’t any consolation, no matter how sincere she sounded, for if she hadn’t known what she was doing the first time, how could she prevent it another time?

  He’d planned what to do on the way over. “I need you to sing to your lines on this ship—and the other ships in the fleet if you can hear them—and to me.”

  “Like we’ve been doing in line training?” Fergus asked.

  “Exactly like that.” Ean took a deep breath. “Let’s practice first. Rossi, I want you around the edges, helping if we need it.”

  “Line twelve, asking a mere ten for help. Unbelievable.”

  “Hah,” Fergus said. “You just admitted it. In front of witnesses. I’m not going to let you forget that, Jordan.”

  “Let’s practice,” Ean said hurriedly, before Rossi could think of a cutting retort. “Start singing. Greet your lines. All of you. You, too,” to Rossi, who might scoff, but he hated to miss line training, and Ean had heard him through the lines on Confluence Station, practicing. He wasn’t going to mention that fact. Ever.

  “Talk to the ship,” he told Tinatin. “Sing line one.” He sang the music for her. An explanation of what they planned to do. “Like this. Sing with me.”

  “I don’t know the words.”

  “Make up your own. Ask it how it is?” He was struck with an idea. “Tell it what happened to Mael.”

  He turned to Mael. “Sing line nine,” and as Mael hesitated, “It’s safe here. We’re not in the void yet.”

  Fergus didn’t need to be told. He was singing to line seven, explaining what was happening.

  Ean opened his own voice, weak as it was, and sang to the lines. Rossi’s voice joined his. The lines surged in strong around him. Rossi’s lines weakened, and he was vaguely aware of, “Shit,” from Sale.

  Line eleven wasn’t even strong today.