‘I never had a dog either,’ said Darcy. ‘But when we were younger our gran had a dog, and we helped with the next-door neighbour’s dog too. I’m not too sure I would have remembered everything about training a puppy.’

  She started to look a bit nervous as they approached the cottage. ‘Do you think she’ll like it?’

  He couldn’t help but be amused by her worry. ‘I think she’ll love it. Do you think it’s a good idea taking her back and forth between here and the kennel?’

  Darcy frowned as they pulled up at her door. ‘I’m not sure, but I am sure the rescue place know what they are doing. Maybe they’re scared she’ll be overwhelmed. Or maybe it’s me they’re actually keeping an eye on, and not Ruby.’

  ‘I wouldn’t be at all surprised,’ he admitted, getting out of the car and walking around to help retrieve all the items from the boot. ‘She’s been in the shelter for three years. Maybe that’s got something to do with it. Maybe it’s a harder adjustment for a dog that’s been there a while.’

  Darcy opened the back driver’s door and couldn’t hide her smile as Ruby jumped down and sniffed the air around her.

  ‘If it’s possible,’ murmured Arturo, ‘I think she’s a bit confused.’

  ‘She will be, if she’s always been a city dog,’ said Darcy. ‘She’ll be smelling the sheep, cows and horses from the farm nearby. I did warn my neighbour I was getting a dog—just in case there were any issues.’

  She’d told the farmer. She’d told her neighbour, but she hadn’t managed to have that conversation with him.

  ‘Dogs aren’t supposed to be on farm land, are they?’

  ‘Not unless they belong to the farmer, or are on a lead,’ said Darcy, still watching Ruby smell the air.

  She opened her front door as Arturo approached with the bed and food. ‘C’mon Ruby, come and have a look inside to see what you think.’

  Arturo watched in fascination as Darcy put out some food, just like Jen had told her to, and set up the bed for Ruby. He’d never imagined Darcy having a maternal side, but it seemed he’d completely missed it. Even if her maternal side only came out for dogs.

  Ruby had a good sniff around the cottage, making herself at home, eating some food, drinking some water, then licking the glass wall.

  Arturo had settled on the sofa, Darcy beside him as they watched Ruby. ‘I can live with smears,’ she said as she put her head on his shoulder. Ruby turned at her voice, came over, looked at them both, then jumped up on the sofa, sprawling herself across them.

  They couldn’t help but laugh, rubbing her head and patting her belly, and watching the dark red dog hairs coat the space around them.

  ‘Going to need to get a better vacuum cleaner,’ Darcy sighed, but the smile was still wide.

  ‘So,’ Arturo started gently, ‘the commitment side—it doesn’t bother you?’

  She took a moment, opened her mouth and then just smiled. ‘It’s supposed to, isn’t it?’ Her eyes were wide as she turned to Arturo. ‘But...’ She shook her head. ‘For the strangest reason, it just doesn’t.’ Her brow wrinkled, ‘I mean, if you’d suggested this to me a few weeks ago—or put this down on paper for me—I would have been horrified.’

  ‘So, what’s changed?’

  He had to ask, because it was clearer and clearer to him that he had to find out where he could fit into Darcy’s life. If he could fit into Darcy’s life.

  She took in a shaky breath and looked at Arturo. ‘I guess, in the space of a few weeks, a lot of things have changed.’

  ‘Because of your sister’s bucket list?’

  ‘I guess so,’ she said reluctantly. ‘Or maybe it was just the right time.’ She sighed. ‘The right time for everything. To look at my life. To decide why I was where I was. To let something like a bucket list push me out of my comfort zone.’

  ‘Am I out of your comfort zone?’ He wasn’t sure what he wanted the answer to this question to be. ‘I have to be honest. I kind of hoped when you’d looked at the commitment thing on your bucket list, you might have considered something other than a dog.’

  Her mouth dropped open. She continued stroking Ruby, almost using her as a comfort blanket. ‘Honestly? You are? You terrify me.’

  There. She’d said it. Was this his cue to make a graceful retreat and say nothing?

  He shook his head. ‘I’d hoped... I’d hoped that once we got back home, we would have a chance to talk. To see what we wanted to happen next.’

  Darcy closed her eyes for a second. ‘But you’ve been gone the last few days.’

  He cringed inwardly. ‘I have. I was taking care of one last job.’

  ‘What do you mean, one last job?’

  He chose his words carefully. ‘My job really isn’t conducive to having a relationship with someone. I had one last thing to see through—something that my father had sought for many years. I’ve finally managed to return it to the rightful owners.’

  She looked at him carefully. ‘I would never ask you to give up a job that you love.’

  ‘I know that.’

  But the look in her gaze was panicked. ‘We’ve only known each other a few weeks. How can you make a decision like that?’ She put her hand to her chest. ‘Based on me? Based on having a relationship with me that we’ve not even discussed yet?’

  ‘Should I have waited?’ Now he was feeling panicked. Maybe he hadn’t thought this through.

  She threw up her hands and Ruby jerked. So she placed them back carefully, and spoke in a low voice. ‘I told you I hadn’t been to a wedding in a while. It was...difficult.’

  ‘It didn’t seem difficult when we were in bed together, or did I miss something?’

  As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them.

  She flinched.

  ‘Was it difficult because you realised you’re still in love with your ex?’ He was angry now, but kept it from his voice. He wanted to know why Darcy didn’t seem as dedicated to this relationship as he was.

  She shook her head. ‘I’m not. But it gave me a chance to reconsider a number of things. Including the part I played in our wedding not taking place.’ She kept shaking her head. ‘I’d never done that before. I’d just moved on. Not wasted too much time thinking about it.’ Now she met his gaze. ‘Shouldn’t that have partly told me what I needed to know?’

  And now she’d started talking it seemed as if she didn’t want to stop. ‘You know the part that gripped me most about your sister’s wedding?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘The way Dante and Cara looked at each other...’ She brought her clenched hand up to her heart and shook her head. ‘I would never have looked at Damian like that, nor he me.’

  Tears were trickling down her face. Damian. Arturo even hated the name. ‘Your sister’s wedding was beautiful. But I probably shouldn’t have come. The last thing I wanted to do was spoil things for you because I was facing up to what I should have, years ago.’

  That made his heart clench further. The last thing he wanted was her to feel guilt.

  ‘But it also made me face up to a whole lot more.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Like I don’t know if I’m ever going to be ready for a happy ever after. How can I, when I constantly think that my sister can’t?’ Her voice was shaky now. ‘When all your relatives started talking to me, wanting to know everything about me, wanting to know if I’d be the next Mrs Fabiano, I just felt swamped. Just like when I saw your family home. I don’t mix in those circles. I never have. How can I do it now? I don’t even speak the language. How could we even contemplate having a relationship when we are so far apart?’

  ‘Money isn’t everything,’ he said quietly.

  She sucked in a deep breath. ‘I know,’ she agreed. ‘But look at us, Arturo. Look at where we are. You have a job that’s dangerous. You deliberately live far from home. I get the impression you haven’t had much at stake in your life before this—’ the tears were really flowing now ‘—and that’s wrong. So wrong.’

  ‘I didn’t have anything to live for before,’ he said quietly, and he realised that he actually meant it.

  Another tear streaked down her cheek. ‘You have so much to live for, Arturo. You’re wonderful. But you need to realise that for yourself.’

  She rested her hand on Ruby again, giving her a gentle pat. ‘This?’ she said. ‘This is about as much as I can do right now. This is where I feel as if I can be safe. I know she’ll break my heart in a few years, but I’ll be ready for that.’ She looked at him with tear-filled eyes. ‘I’ll make sure I am.’

  This was all going so wrong for Arturo. He wanted to wind the clock back a few weeks—when they were sitting in the bar at the hotel, flirting, and everything was shiny and new.

  There was silence for a few moments, then Arturo stood. It was the only thing he could do right now because his heart was breaking. ‘Things have moved quickly between us,’ he started.

  ‘Too quickly,’ she interrupted.

  He hated the fact he was saying these words. He wished none of this was true. But if he really loved Darcy, if he really wanted what was best for her, he had to put her needs first, and put his own feelings aside.

  ‘This isn’t the way things are meant to be,’ said Arturo softly. ‘This isn’t the way I want things to be between us. I love you, Darcy. I’m not sure when, or where, but at some point in the last few weeks I’ve met someone who’s made me question choices in my life. Who has made me look at myself and let me know that I need to make changes to move on with my life.’

  He took another breath. ‘But I can’t solve everything. You need to believe that you’re worthy of a happy ever after, Darcy. You need to believe it, and reach out and grab it.’

  When she didn’t answer, he knew he had no other option available.

  ‘I’m sorry it’s come to this,’ he said, hearing his own voice crack. He wanted to fix this. He wanted to make everything okay. He wanted more than anything to make his relationship with Darcy work.

  But she didn’t want that. And even though it was breaking his heart, he loved and respected her enough to put her wishes before his.

  ‘Good luck with Ruby. She’s found a wonderful owner.’

  Darcy tilted her chin upwards. ‘I think she’s found me.’

  And with a final nod he turned and headed out of the door. Out into his own car, away from the cottage in the country that held his person, and his heart.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  NOTHING HURT AS much as this. Not the acknowledgement that some of the things Arturo had said to her were true, and not the fact that she finally had to face up to her own truths. Her own life.

  She’d been hiding away for the last five years.

  The bucket list had been the kick in the butt that she’d needed badly. It had pushed her out of her comfort zone and made her examine her life. How could Laura have been so insightful five years ago?

  Because at the end of the day, that was what all this came down to. Laura.

  Darcy had shut herself off from the majority of her friends and family in an illusion of getting on with her new working life and buying and renovating a house.

  All of it was the ultimate act of avoidance. While she avoided her parents and her sister, she was away from everything that reminded her of Laura. Part of the triggers of the wedding had been around the fact it was the last major event she’d attended with her sister.

  It wasn’t around Damian. It had never been about Damian. It was about remembering Laura in her bridesmaid dress. Remembering the paleness of her skin, and the way she’d trembled while they all waited. It was about the fact she’d fled for five days to Edinburgh and had felt horribly guilty about that ever since.

  It didn’t matter that Fizz and her parents had been with Laura those five days. It was because when she’d returned five days later Laura had looked worse than ever. And in those final two months she’d had to deal with putting a house on the market and packing it up, rather than spending every minute with her sister.

  She knew that none of her family blamed her in any way. But she blamed herself. And even though she’d allowed that to beat herself up, and consume her with guilt, it meant that she didn’t need to concentrate on the other part.

  The part that told her Laura had contracted a horrible disease that couldn’t be cured and there was nothing that she or anyone else could have done about it.

  Accepting that would have meant eventually moving on. It would mean stopping thinking of every single thing Laura had missed out on. Accepting that would mean realising that she was worthy of a happy ever after. Arturo had seen it more clearly than she had.

  And moving on was the plan that her sister had for her.

  It seemed it was time to decide if that was the plan she had for herself.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  IT HAD BEEN five days, and Arturo couldn’t bear it a second longer. The more he thought things through and processed, the more he came up with a million other ways he could have handled it and sorted things between them.

  He wanted to see Darcy. He wanted to phone her or message her or go to her house, but he wasn’t sure how she felt. And that made his heart ache.

  After days of pacing, he finally decided to take the bull by the horns and try a neutral venue.

  Jen looked up in surprise as he walked into the rescue centre. He gave her a cautious smile. ‘I came to see if Darcy was here to pick up Ruby.’

  She frowned slightly. ‘She changed her day. She had her yesterday, and Ruby’s going home day is on Sunday.’

  He swallowed, thrown for a few seconds by the change of plan. ‘Did she say why she had to change?’ he ventured.

  It seemed that Jen took pity on him. ‘Something about a bucket list. The last thing on it.’

  His skin prickled. The last instruction on the bucket list.

  Find somewhere peaceful...to reflect on what you want out of life.

  But where would Darcy go? Did she have somewhere in her home town of Bath that she’d consider a place to contemplate the world? Or maybe some place she’d gone with Laura? He tried to think of anywhere in Edinburgh. But there could be a million places. Up at Arthur’s Seat with a view of the city. The Royal Botanic Gardens or the Princes Street Gardens. Maybe even a trip to Rosslyn Chapel. It could be any of them.

  He was feeling desperate now. ‘Did she happen to say where she was going?’

  Jen gave him a sympathetic look. ‘Something about returning to a place. I think she said it was in Rome.’

  He froze. ‘Rome?’

  She nodded. ‘She said she’d definitely be back for Sunday and couldn’t wait to take Ruby home permanently.’

  Every beat of his heart was pumping the blood around his body more quickly, an adrenaline response for what he had to do next. There was no question about it. If he didn’t do this, he would regret it for the rest of his life—because that would be a life without Darcy in it.

  And he didn’t want to accept that, not without taking that one final step.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  IT WAS A totally different experience being here alone.

  It didn’t help that it was the middle of the night. And while the Trevi Fountain wasn’t exactly quiet, it wasn’t busy either. It was two in the morning, and there were a few late-night stragglers, and some tourists who’d obviously heard of the best time to visit.

  Once the taxi had dropped her, she’d taken a short walk to the place they’d bought carry-out coffee and cake, then taken it back along to the night-lit fountain, which was every bit as stunning as it had been a few weeks ago.

  But her heart didn’t sit quite right.

  She settled on the steps and looked up at the star-filled sky. ‘Okay then, Laura. You’ve got me questioning what I want out of life. Is there a right answer to this question, or can I sit here and tell you that I still don’t know?’

  She dropped her head as she said those words because she knew that wasn’t true. Her heart was telling her exactly what she wanted. But the steps were just too far.

  As a few more people moved away she stood up and went closer to the fountain, taking a coin from her pocket. She’d already made one wish here, and it seemed like she might have blown that one.

  Was it really worth making another?

  She closed her eyes and spun around, ready to throw the coin over her shoulder, but her spinning was off-centre and she knocked right into someone.

  ‘Sorry!’ she exclaimed, opening her eyes then catching her breath in shock.

  Arturo did not look his usual suave and calm self. His hair was out of place, his cheeks slightly red and his jacket and shirt crumpled. He was a bit out of breath. Had he been running?

  ‘You weren’t here,’ he started. ‘I thought I’d got it wrong. I was about to go to the Colosseum instead.’ He caught sight of the paper coffee cup and bag sitting on the steps just in front of them, and he obviously realised where she’d been.

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘We must have crossed paths,’ she said, her voice shaky.

  ‘That could have been a disaster,’ he replied, his brown eyes fixed on hers.

  There was silence for a few moments then they both started at once.

  ‘I needed to see you again.’

  ‘I wanted to see you.’

  They both paused, looking at each other in the pale light.

  ‘You speak,’ he said.

  She took a breath. ‘Arturo, this wasn’t ever really about us. This was about me. And learning that I have to move on. I’ve spent so long thinking I don’t really deserve to. That Laura was cheated out of so much. That so many of the experiences I’ll have now should have been experienced by her too. I haven’t been able to move on for fear of leaving my sister behind. I guess I’ve spent most of my time worrying about losing someone else.’