Chapter 5

  When Noah arrived at the park the next day a few minutes before two in the afternoon, he found Charlie sitting on a bench

  Noah’s heart leapt and pounded so hard he thought his chest might explode. He prayed whatever Charlie wanted to see him about was good news. For him. For them.

  Charlie had his head down, like he found his shoes quite fascinating. He looked up only when Noah was almost in front of him.

  His chocolate brown eyes widened and then lit up. “Noah.”

  Noah smiled just a little. “Hi.”

  “Can…can you sit next to me?”

  He sat on the wooden bench very close to his lover. Close enough to feel his warmth. “It was good to hear from you.”

  Charlie nodded. “I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while, but…it’s been difficult. Did you call the house?”

  “Yeah.” Noah winced. “Some other guy answered the phone. Who was that, Charlie?”

  “It’s not what you think.”

  Noah met his gaze. “What do I think?”

  “I’m not seeing someone else. I wouldn’t.”

  “Okay.” He swallowed. “Who was he then?”

  “He’s my cousin Drake. I told you about him, remember? I hadn’t seen him for several years, even before my parents’ accident.”

  Noah did remember vaguely in the back of his brain. “Yeah. All right. What’s he doing at our…your house.”

  Charlie grabbed his hand as though he expected it to be snatched out of reach. “No, our house, Noah.”

  He wanted to believe that was true. But they still had a lot to talk about. “Why is he there?”

  “He showed up one day on the doorstep. We’ve always had the same house, so it was easy enough to find. His stepdad kicked him out and he has nowhere to go. He’s only eighteen.” Charlie’s grip on Noah’s hand tightened to the point it was almost painful, but Noah didn’t protest. “If…if he stays, I told him you have to agree and he has to get a job or go to school.”

  Noah nodded. “Well, I’d have to meet him first. But…why did you want to meet, Charlie?”

  Charlie blew out a shattered breath. “Can we try again?”

  Noah’s pulse jumped and found he was holding onto Charlie’s hand as tightly as he was to Noah’s. “Are you asking me to move back in with you?”

  “Yes.” Charlie shut his eyes briefly, but then opened them and gazed into Noah’s eyes. “I know I haven’t been the kind of partner you deserve. I’m just so afraid all the time.”

  “Afraid of what, sweetheart?”

  “You’ll leave me.”

  “Leave you? Charlie, never. I love you so much.”

  “I know you do. But, love doesn’t have much to do with it. My parents loved me and they left me.”

  “Sweetheart, they died.”

  A single tear rolled down Charlie’s cheek. “You…what if you die? I don’t think I can handle that.”

  Noah released Charlie’s hand but only so he could pull him into his arms, very close, so close his lover was nearly in his lap. “Charlie, I can’t promise you I won’t die. Everyone does. No one can escape that. We can’t know when any of that will happen. We could both be a hundred years old.”

  “It won’t be any easier than.”

  He leaned his head against Charlie’s. “No, it won’t. Harder maybe. But the point is, I don’t think it’s going to happen any time soon and we can’t live our lives afraid of something that probably isn’t going to happen for years.”

  Charlie just nodded.

  “And I’m not going to leave you any other way. I didn’t want to leave this time.”

  “I know, I just…I’m stupid sometimes. I’m so screwed up I don’t want you to see me like this. I can’t even handle day-to-day shit.”

  “You aren’t stupid. You’re one of the smartest people I know. You handle numbers better than anyone I know.” Noah smiled. Then he grew serious. “You can’t beat how you’re feeling, the anxiety, the depression, without help, Charlie.”

  Charlie leaned back a little and pulled a card out of his jeans pocket. He handed it to Noah. “I wanted to tell you maybe I should call him again.”

  “I think that’s a great idea. We can go to counseling together, too. We didn’t try that last time even though we talked about it.”

  “Yeah.”

  “You can’t shut me out every time you feel bad or off or sad, Charlie. We’re supposed to be partners. They may not let us get married legally but the words for better or worse still mean something to me. These past few months of you shutting down on me have been hell. I didn’t know whether I was coming or going. Or what you wanted me to do.”

  Charlie sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. I just feel so helpless sometimes. Noah?”

  “Yes?”

  “I want…do you think you could sell your house?”

  “Sell my house?” Noah hooked a thumb under Charlie’s dropped chin and tilted it up so they were once more looking into each other’s eyes. “Why?”

  Charlie shrugged. “It’s just, it’s almost like you want to have it available if we don’t work out. Or…that’s the way it’s always felt to me.”

  Noah shook his head. “That’s never been the reason. I honestly thought the money would be good to have, as an investment. But if it really bothers you, babe, we’ll sell it. Nothing is more important than you.”

  Charlie smiled. “Will you come home with me now? I want to be with you.”

  “What about this cousin of yours?”

  “I told him to get lost for the day. I really wanted to talk you into coming home with me.”

  Noah kissed his lips softly. “Most of my stuff is still at Kev’s.”

  “We can get it later.” Charlie unwrapped himself from Noah and stood, yanking Noah up with him. “Fortunately, it’s not a long walk.”

  Noah laughed. “I know. We used to play in this park as kids. Well, not together. You were with your group and I was with mine, but I noticed you even then.”

  “And I was an asshole even then,” Charlie said with a self-deprecating smile.

  “Let’s go home.”

  * * * *

  It felt nearly unreal when Noah covered his naked body on their bed. It hadn’t been that long, really since they’d made love right before Noah left, but now that Charlie thought about it…It hadn’t been often at all in the last few months. He’d let the despair overtake him and nearly pull them apart.

  Noah placed a kiss on his jaw just before he moved to turn Charlie over onto his stomach. He stopped him.

  “Wait.”

  Noah blinked. “Wait?”

  He smiled and pulled Noah’s face closed to his. Their lips touched, melded together, hot and sweet. “I want to be on my back when we make love so I can see you.”

  Noah’s answering smile was radiant and Charlie caught his breath. Had he really once thought Noah was only average? The man was stunning.

  “You know,” Noah said, as he threaded his fingers through Charlie’s unruly locks, “I remember a time when you cringed when I spoke of making love.”

  “You would remind me of that. I was a real bastard.”

  “Yeah, but my bastard.”

  Charlie raised an eyebrow at him.

  His lover laughed. “Okay, that didn’t come out right, but you know what I mean.”

  He pulled Noah down for another kiss, long and thorough. He slipped his tongue inside Noah’s mouth and moaned. His cock was already aching and if it didn’t get some relief soon…Well, blue balls were no fun.

  “Let me get the lube,” Noah said, inching away from him to grab the lube from the nightstand. When his face appeared over Charlie once more he was frowning.

  “Out of lube?” Charlie teased.

  “No. I was thinking I should be honest with you about something. I don’t want it coming out some other time to hurt you.”

  “Uh-oh. I’m not going to like this, huh?”

  Noah shook his head. “Last night, I went out with this guy from work and—”

  His heart freezing, Charlie burst out, “Oh, my God, you didn’t?”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “Then?”

  “He did kiss me, but I broke the kiss off and told him I only wanted you. The whole night was a mistake, but I was missing you and feeling like shit.” Noah kissed him. “I’m sorry.”

  Charlie bit his lip. “Did you kiss him?”

  “Not really, no. I love you, Charlie. And I want only you.”

  He wasn’t going to let something so minor get in the way. He smiled. “All right. Now, why aren’t you kissing me?”

  “I can’t think why I’m not.” Noah grinned and covered Charlie’s lips with his. He closed his eyes and couldn’t help thinking no one had ever kissed as good as Noah.

  His hand roamed over Noah’s muscular back and down to the man’s perfect buttocks. Almost made Charlie wish he wanted to top. But when Noah’s lubed finger slipped in between his cheeks and inside Charlie, he quickly changed his mind. He spread his legs and rose a little at the penetration.

  “Like that, don’t you, babe?” Noah murmured against his mouth, nipping at Charlie’s lips.

  All he could do was whimper as Noah added a second finger. He’d missed this. Not just the sex but the closeness…the love. He scooted his hand between their bodies and closed it around his aching erection. He pumped his dick even as Noah’s fingers worked their magic inside him.

  “Noah, God,” he breathed. He lifted his legs, holding them up, seeking even farther penetration.

  It was nearly too much…but it wasn’t enough. He knew they were contrary thoughts, but he didn’t care. He just wanted Noah everywhere. And he wanted to taste him.

  Gasping, he tore his mouth from Noah’s searching tongue. “Noah, please, I want.”

  “I know, baby, I’m giving it to you.”

  Charlie laughed. “I know. I mean, I want to suck your cock.”

  “Now?”

  “Uh-huh.” He grinned and with only a slight adjustment on their parts, his mouth was lined up with Noah’s cock while his lover’s fingers still worked inside him, sending jolts of pure ecstasy rippling through him.

  He opened his mouth and slid his lips over the tip of Noah’s cock, lapping up the pre-cum leaking there. Closing his eyes, Charlie slowly sucked more of the hard staff into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks as he drew it into his throat. His fingers closed over his lover’s balls, rolling them.

  “Ah, fuck, Charlie.”

  Encouraged by Noah’s groans of pleasure, Charlie grabbed Noah’s cock at the base and sucked hard and fast. Noah’s fingers spread him wide, seeking and finding his prostate, making him wild.

  Noah pushed at him to get him to release the throbbing, pulsing member in his mouth, but Charlie resisted, determined to give his lover the best blowjob of his life.

  “Charlie, please, I want to fuck you. This is too much, babe.”

  Charlie nodded and sucked harder still. Noah yanked gently on his hair, then more firmly when Charlie didn’t react. With a loud pop and a scowl, Charlie let Noah pull out.

  “Stop growling, I want to come in this perfect, tight ass of yours.” Noah patted Charlie’s ass and moved him so he was once more on his back.

  Eagerly, Charlie hiked up his legs, holding them tilted up so Noah would have easy access to enter him. He watched as Noah generously lubed his cock in preparation.

  Running his tongue along his bottom lip, Charlie grasped his own hard dick. Noah poised himself at Charlie’s hole.

  “Ready, babe?”

  “Of course.”

  Noah chuckled and pressed in, so slowly Charlie could not wait and he rose up and impaled himself all the way on the man’s thick cock.

  “Ah, geez, you could have waited.”

  Charlie shook his head. “You were taking way too long.”

  “Damn pushy bottom.”

  “Quit bitching and fuck me.”

  Noah smirked, rolled his eyes, and began to thrust, finding no resistance from Charlie. His ass clenched around Noah, welcoming the invasion, drawing him inside.

  His hand worked his own cock furiously as he held Noah’s gaze. Those damn hazel eyes of Noah’s were the prettiest he’d ever seen.

  “I love you, Noah.”

  “I love you, too.”

  And then Charlie was coming, ribbons of pearly white cum covering his hand and his stomach. Noah joined him seconds later, pouring his own release inside Charlie’s ass.

  Resting his head on Noah’s chest a few minutes later, Charlie was content to listen to his lover’s heartbeat return to normal. He wasn’t foolish enough to believe they didn’t have some issues to still work out. But they could work on them together. And he also knew he needed help. He couldn’t do it on his own.

  “Are you sure your cousin isn’t here to listen to us?” Noah asked, amusement in his voice.

  “Eww, he better not be. I’ll kick his ass.”

  “Mmm. This is nice. I’ve missed this.”

  Charlie nodded against Noah’s chest. “Me, too. It’s been a while since we just lay together like this and held each other. It’s my fault, too. I’m sorry.”

  “Hey, no more apologies. What’s important is that we’re together and nothing’s going to pull us apart again. Right?”

  Charlie rose to gaze at Noah’s face. He cupped his lover’s cheek, and leaning down to kiss Noah’s lips, he whispered, “Right.”

  THE END

  ABOUT SHAWN LANE

  Shawn Lane is a multi-published author of gay romances and believes love and passion know no boundaries. Happily Ever After is for everyone.

  She has been published by Loose Id, Ellora's Cave, Amber Quill Press, Dreamspinner Press, and Evernight Publishing.

  Shawn lives in California and holds down a boring day job in a legal department of a giant corporation dreaming of the nights and weekends when she can create new stories.

  For more information, visit smlgr8.blogspot.com.

  ABOUT JMS BOOKS LLC

  JMS Books LLC is a small queer press with competitive royalty rates publishing LGBT romance, erotic romance, and young adult fiction. Visit jms-books.com for our latest releases and submission guidelines!

 

 

  Shawn Lane, Pulling Apart

 

 

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