“You were hardly the first guy to ghost me. What was I supposed to think?”

  “I was trying to protect you. When I finally wrapped my head around my feelings and worked up the courage, I called—”

  “For a hookup. I remember.” And that still hurt.

  “No. If we’d ended up in bed after working things out, that would have been the cherry on top. But I just wanted to explain. I wasn’t braced to hear that you were already seeing someone else.”

  She raised a brow. “From what I heard, you were ‘talking’ to Hannah Jamison.”

  Matt shook his head. “She was talking to me. I’d turned her down flat. I wasn’t interested.” He shrugged. “I never exchanged more than a few words with her until the night you announced your engagement. After that, I didn’t see the point of waiting for you anymore.”

  “You’re lying.” He had to be, because if he wasn’t, she’d made a far bigger mistake than marrying the wrong guy.

  He shook his head. “I wanted you in a way I’d never wanted anyone.” He slammed back his water like he was suddenly nervous. “But I get why you misunderstood, since you got shafted by a bunch of guys like Zy—”

  “He and I have made peace. He didn’t spend the night with me to be mean. He was lonely.”

  “That didn’t give him the right to roll into town, chat you up, slide you into bed, then jet. You didn’t matter to him.”

  Madison flushed and looked away. “He was a mistake.”

  “I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. I’m telling you I left after our weekend feeling like I’d fucking die without you, but I had no idea how I was going to keep you while saving you from myself. And I didn’t know how to explain, so I left you to make assumptions that I was like every other bastard who’d blown through your life with an itch to scratch. It was fucking wrong. I know you’d never given as much of yourself to any man as you had to me that weekend.”

  She fought back tears. “I hadn’t. Ever.”

  “I’m sorry. I hurt you. I took everything and demanded more. I left you raw and open. Then I disappeared. So when Todd showed interest, you hoped he would help you forget me.”

  Madison nodded. Three years ago, she’d never imagined the life-and-death consequences of that choice. Now she felt stupid and ashamed. “Todd wasn’t even my type. When he asked me out, I almost said no. My uncle encouraged me to reconsider. Todd seemed so into me…and I used him to assure myself that you were the problem. You were the reason we weren’t together. I was fine. The fact someone educated, rich, and urbane wanted me was proof.”

  God, she hated to admit that. She’d give anything to turn back time, refuse Todd, then return to Louisiana with her dad at the end of their getaway, like they’d planned. Instead, she’d stayed stubbornly, determined to feel better about herself…and to show Matt she didn’t care.

  He gave a self-deprecating shake of his head, face full of regret. “I spent the weekend you got married blindingly drunk. I woke up Monday morning with my head hanging over the toilet, feeling like death warmed over. I’d missed a weekend of emergency calls. They gave my mission to One-Mile because everyone else was already on an op. He didn’t have time to prepare. He had a newborn, he’s my best friend, and he got shot because I couldn’t get my head out of my ass or the chip off my shoulder to tell you how I felt. Thankfully, he only sustained a flesh wound, but…I can’t forgive myself for nearly getting him killed.”

  His guilt was almost tangible. She felt it like a knife to her chest. “Oh, Matt.”

  “The silly bastard doesn’t blame me. He should.” Matt scowled. “After I got the news from a sobbing Brea and saw your wedding photos in full color, I got in the shower and cried until I ran out of hot water. I hadn’t shed a single goddamn tear since my mom left.” He looked on the verge of shedding more now.

  Madison’s own eyes stung. Her throat tightened. This was the real Matt. The raw Matt. His heartbreaking confession only made her feel more awful.

  She took his hand. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  “It’s my doing.”

  “Not all of it. I should have cared less about protecting my feelings and more about being honest with you. Maybe if I had told you I loved everything about our weekend—”

  “After Dad’s girlfriend offed herself, I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to believe you.”

  God, what a terrible situation. “Still, I should have listened to my intuition. The day I married Todd, I stood in the dressing room, staring at myself in my designer wedding dress I could never have afforded, with a crush of press outside clamoring to see DC’s fairytale couple tie the knot. They’d written us as having a sweet, whirlwind love story… But I had so many doubts. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I didn’t really know him. His behavior felt performative, like he knew how he should treat me and what he should say, so he went through the motions. I didn’t love him. I told myself I would eventually. I convinced myself that someone who seemed so sure of us must have everything figured out. I only had doubts because I was hung up on you.”

  She shook her head and closed her eyes. “When I asked him why he’d proposed, he claimed I was different. Special. I was desperate to believe him. After all, he was one of DC’s wildest bad-boy bachelors, and he’d chosen me. But the day we got married, all I wanted to do was run.” Madison drew in a shuddering breath. “I cried the entire morning before our wedding. I had to have an emergency depuffing facial and three touch-ups from the horrendously expensive makeup artist. I dragged my feet for nearly an hour before walking down the aisle. My dad offered to whisk me out of the completely full church and take me home. But I married Todd because I couldn’t have you. Not long after, I found out that he’d proposed because the extravaganza of our wedding overshadowed the fact he’d gotten a seventeen-year-old girl pregnant.”

  Matt raked a hand through his hair. “And he cheated on your honeymoon, too. Jesus…”

  “It’s almost over, and I hope I never have to see Todd again. As soon as Deke and his contact finish this negotiation, I won’t.”

  “But the damage we’ve inflicted on ourselves by not being honest isn’t.”

  He was right, and maybe that was the saddest thing of all. Regret steamrolled her.

  “I wish…” she muttered, then stopped. They couldn’t go back and make different choices.

  “Me, too. All we can do is give us another try.”

  She’d love that, but was he insane? “Matt, there’s a ruthless family out there who would kill you without blinking for even helping me, much less trying to share any kind of future. And it’s not just them. Senator Pershing knows people everywhere. He has a blackmail book. He knows everyone’s dirty little secrets—law enforcement officers, prosecutors, judges. He collects favors, then waits to cash in when the time is right… He’s cutthroat. He can twist people into doing whatever he needs because he sees their brightest hopes and darkest fears, then uses them ruthlessly. He’s the one who convinced me to say yes to Todd’s proposal. He read me like a book. And he used my dad’s debts against me, telling me how much better off he would be with the Pershing power and name behind him… I can’t drag you into this mess more than you already are.”

  “You can’t stop me.” When she opened her mouth to object, he held up a hand. “You’re not obligated to do a damn thing with me beyond accept my protection. Let me make that clear. But you can’t tell me how to feel, and I’m not walking away from you because you’re afraid for me. So if you still think you don’t matter to me, think again.”

  Madison sat back against the sofa, blinking and stunned. “But—”

  “I know your objections. I’ve sorted through them. Even if the Pershings eventually win and we only have right now, I’ll take it. You’re worth the risk.”

  Those words filled her heart and crushed what was left of her resistance. “Matt…”

  “I’m not letting fear, the past, or those corrupt assholes take another moment from us. If it weren’t for your in-laws and the danger, would you want to pursue something with me?”

  After he’d been so painfully honest, she couldn’t lie. Besides, he had to know. “I already told you that I only want you.”

  “I only want you.”

  Those words melted the ice around her heart. Madison barely managed not to spring from her seat and throw herself into his arms. Something forbidding on his face stopped her. “Then what’s wrong?”

  “There’s something else I need to tell you. It might change your mind.”

  Madison couldn’t imagine what that would be. “If you can accept the danger in my life, I can’t think of anything else that would make me not want you?”

  “I’m a Dominant.” He smiled bitterly, like he totally expected that to weird her out. “Jack just pointed it out to me. I spent most of the afternoon reading and thinking and…he’s right. That’s why I am the way I am with you. If you’re willing to deal with that, I can try to downshift—”

  “Don’t.” She lifted a trembling hand to her chest. “Don’t change a thing.”

  “Seriously?”

  “I love everything about the way you touch me.”

  “Because you’re submissive?” Matt pulled at the back of his neck. “Sorry. Jack pointed that out, too.”

  Madison flushed. Embarrassing that their host had figured out her kink, especially since she’d never told anyone. “Yeah.”

  “You don’t seem at all surprised. You knew?”

  She nodded. “I’ve known for a long time. You didn’t know that you—”

  “No. Pictures of men restraining and disciplining their women have always turned me on, but a lot of things did. I shied away from those images because it seemed like something my dad would relish, whether his partner wanted it or not.”

  “Your desires…the way you are with me…they aren’t the same. He’s not being a Dominant; he’s an asshole.”

  “Jack explained. The book I read filled in the gaps.” He frowned. “How did you learn so much about this stuff?”

  Her blush deepened. “I read a lot of romances. The super-spicy ones.”

  “With Dominant heroes?” His voice tingled its way down her spine.

  She nodded breathlessly. “Yes.”

  “Hmm. In your books, they take their woman in whatever sinful way they want?”

  “Yes.”

  “Does that idea arouse you?”

  She’d had fantasies about a Dominant lover for a decade. “Yes.”

  “Would you like me to do that to you, Madison?” He pinned her with his dark, direct stare.

  Her breath caught. Her heart surged. Her sex clenched. “More than anything.”

  “Do you trust me?” He stood and held out his hand.

  This time she took it, slipping her fingers in his. “With more than my life.”

  “Then come with me.” He helped her to her feet. “I hope you’re really well rested after that nap. I want you naked and tied down. I want you panting and begging. And I want to turn you inside out and watch you scream your throat raw while you admit you’re mine.”

  Oh, god. “Matt…”

  “I’m here, and you’re going to need that trust, honey.” From his pocket, he pulled out a purple scrap of fabric held together by an elastic strap. “Blindfold. You good with that?”

  The possibilities made her tremble. “Yes.”

  “Good.” He slipped it on.

  The padding hugged the delicate bones around her eyes and plunged her into near darkness. Madison felt the edges of the soft covering as her other senses took over. She focused on the heat of his fingers clutching her shoulders as he spun her around. When he settled her back against his hard chest, his manly, woodsy scent enveloped her.

  Desire spiked. Sweet heat bloomed between her legs. She felt both dizzy and alive at the thought of putting herself in his care, on needing him for every step and breath she took. Her excitement sharpened.

  “Where are you taking me?”

  “Patience. I got you. But before anything else, I need you to think of a word—not one you’d use every day, but something you won’t forget. I want you to use that word if anything I say or do upsets or scares you, okay?”

  “You want to know my safe word?”

  “Exactly.”

  She’d read tons of romance novel heroines choosing theirs, but she’d never once considered what she might pick if she ever found herself with a man determined to make her swoon by enforcing his silken will. Her thoughts bounced. Her blood sizzled. Her insides danced. “Um…library.”

  “Library?”

  “It’s one of my favorite places. Every time I walk in and see people immersed, and I smell books…”

  “You get excited?”

  The mirth in his voice made her smile. “Not that kind of excited, but yeah.”

  “Library it is. If you say that word, everything stops. Then we talk.”

  “Okay.” She tried not to squirm in impatience, but she ached for him—and only him—to fulfill her deepest fantasies.

  “I’m going to lead you forward. I’ll tell you when to stop.”

  Madison tried not to shake as he guided her down the hall toward that mysterious door that had been locked when she’d tested it before her shower. She had imagined all kinds of uses for the room, from cleaning fish to feeding bad guys’ bodies to the gators. But it belonged to Jack Cole, who clearly knew more than a few things about BDSM. She suspected now the room had a completely different purpose.

  “Stop.” After he pulled her to a halt, she heard the scrape of a lock, followed by the door creaking. “Inside.”

  When he nudged her forward, Madison complied. The door closed behind her. She sensed more than saw him flip on a light. Her heart surged double-time. Her nerves jangled. Every sensitive spot on her body silently screamed for his touch.

  “Good.” Matt dragged something across the room, then took hold of her hips and guided her back. “Sit.”

  Once she settled on the padded stool, he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, one on each cheek, then another to the tip of her nose. Madison sank into the sensation.

  She couldn’t see Matt closing in for more, but she felt him with every cell in her body, as if they were connected by some invisible tether. When she tilted her chin to him, he cradled her face, groaned, and laid his lips over hers. She opened to him and lost herself.

  He felt like safety, and he tasted like every desire she’d ever yearned for. Her breath caught. She arched closer. He fitted their mouths together like two pieces of a puzzle settling snugly, irrevocably into place.

  His tongue teased her. She tasted a hint of wine, but he intoxicated her far more.

  When he lifted his lips and stepped away, she felt empty. “Matt…”

  “I’m not done with you—nowhere near. But we need to have one more conversation.”

  Her thoughts raced down a mental checklist of all the chats he might want to have in this moment. She could only think of one. “Limits?”

  “Exactly. The only thing I won’t do is hurt or force you, pretend or otherwise.”

  None of that appealed to her. “That’s perfect.”

  “Tell me your limits.”

  “I don’t like pain. I’ve read books with breath, fire, needle, and knife play. No.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to be afraid. I don’t want dangerous.”

  They had enough of that in their lives already.

  “Bondage?”

  Matt restraining her so that she had to helplessly take any and all of his desires? “Yes.”

  “Impact? I’ll be gentle…mostly.”

  “Yes.” Somehow she knew he would make a spanking feel like the most exquisite pleasure.

  “Do you want me to pull your hair?” He wrapped his fist in the skeins at her crown and tugged.

  She was almost afraid to admit how much. “Yes.”

  Madison felt his smile as his fingers drifted down to her taut nipples, now pushing against the front of her thin cotton shirt. “Do you want me to clamp these?”

  “Yes,” she whined.

  “Do you want me to control your orgasm?”

  That was one of her most secret fantasies. “Please.”

  He licked his way up her neck. “So eager. So sweet. So willing to let me do dark and filthy-dirty things to you.”

  “Hurry.”

  He chuckled something long and low that made her desire surge. “We’re still talking.”

  Madison shook her head. “Why? We’re on the same page.”

  “Are we?” he murmured. “How about anal sex?”

  “I-I don’t know. I’ve never… In fact, I’ve never done any of this.” But even the idea of him filling her in the most forbidden way made goose bumps erupt all over her skin.

  “You’ve never submitted to any man before?”

  “No.”

  “I’ll be the first?” He sounded pleased.

  “Yes.”

  He raked his knuckles over her nipple again, now so sensitive she felt the texture of his skin and the hardness of his bones. Under his slow, tender touch, she dissolved. “Your body likes the idea of me owning and controlling you…”

  “You have no idea.” Madison squirmed. She wasn’t even sure what she needed more—relief…or for him to do his obscene worst.

  “I have a thousand needs to unleash to make my million fantasies of you come true.”

  “I want every one of them,” she gasped.

  Slowly, he walked a circle around her. She felt his stare on her, studying her, inspecting her, hungering for her. Making her tremble with heady need.

  Finally, he stopped behind her and pressed his lips to her ear. “I’m going to take everything you’re willing to give me and still demand more. I’m going to undo you and challenge you. When you unravel for me, I’ll gorge on you. You’ll get so used to the feel of my skin on yours, you’ll physically ache when we’re apart. Then I’ll live inside you here”—he pressed a fingertip to her temple—“here”—he flattened his palm against her chest—“and definitely here.” He cupped her pussy with a hot hand. “When I fucked you this morning, you admitted that I own you. You said I could have you any time, any way, and anywhere I want, didn’t you?”