Lex grips onto the steering wheel tight, turning his head to question Charlie, ignoring both me and Kate.

  “So you skinny dipped with what’s his face, yet in Cabo when I asked you, you get all prude on me?”

  “Oh my god!” she shouts back in frustration, throwing her hands in the air like a child. “Firstly, I didn’t skinny dip. I was wearing a bra and panties. Secondly, sitting in a Mexican jail is not on my bucket list. And Noah, you better believe I’m calling your mom!”

  “What?!” I yell back. “Mom doesn’t need to know. Leave her out of this.”

  Kate shushes everyone in the car, attempting to creating a zen environment. “Look, let’s forget this night happened. We’re all grownups here. Let’s thank the Lord that nothing more happened . . . it could have been worse.”

  “How?” Charlie shoots back. The steam is shooting out of her ears. “Tell me how could it be worse than getting a phone call that your cousin and best friend were arrested for public nudity? Do you know that you’ll have to go to court? And I bet you expect me to represent the both of you since I’m a lawyer.”

  “I’m not pregnant,” Kate tells Charlie.

  Charlie falls into silence. I thought Kate would throw me under the bus, but instead, she saved me and buried herself under Charlie’s overbearing ways. The car pulls into the driveway and as soon as it stops, I quickly get out and follow Lex’s lead. Charlie is not shy about lecturing Kate.

  “Are you fucking kidding me? You fucked him bareback, and do you even know how many women he’s been with?”

  I stand beside Lex as he removes his keys from his pocket. “Sounds like you guys had fun tonight.”

  “Too bad Charlie doesn’t see it that way.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her,” he tells me, followed by a disturbing smirk.

  “Oh man, that sounds dirty.” I cringe. “Any chance I can sleep in Ava’s room? Her loud snoring is exactly what I could use tonight.”

  “Trust me, Noah, your cousin is headstrong. Don’t be surprised if you find me on the couch because she’s on a ‘men and their stupid dicks’ rant.”

  “The Lakers are playing tonight. I’ll join you.” I laugh, trying to forget this night happened.

  And in the short distance, I see Kate rolling her eyes at Charlie. The mouth on my cousin. She’s going on and on about how irresponsible Kate is and what was she thinking taking me out tonight. No wonder Charlie is a lawyer; her ability to argue is why she is so damn successful, plus a huge pain in the fucking ass.

  We leave them out on the porch while Lex grabs us drinks and a bag of Doritos.

  I tell him I’ll be back down and head to the shower. I make it quick, not wanting to miss a second of the game.

  I know at some point I’ll have to tell my mom; I can’t hide this forever. But for now, I need to unwind. And a repeat of the Lakers game is just what I need.

  Charlie enters the room and sees the both of us sitting in the recliners. She seems to have aged tonight, her face withdrawn with dark circles staring to shadow her eyes.

  “I’m calling it a night,” she says, defeated.

  “Yeah, you look tired,” I say, watching the screen as Lex yells at the TV.

  “Well, let’s see. I got puke on me when Amelia projectile vomited dinner. After getting her in the bath, I discovered that Ava took the blueberries out of the fridge and left them on the table where Addison decided they would be better squashed into the carpet.” She sighs, continuing on. “Then I get a call that my cousin and best friend were naked and having sex on the beach. To top it off, my bike, which you begged to borrow, is sitting in Malibu waiting to be collected.”

  “I’ll collect your bike, but we weren’t having sex,” I answer back in my defense.

  “You know what?” She points at me. “I don’t care anymore. Do whatever the hell you want to do, Noah. Men and their dicks . . .”

  And just like Lex said, the dick rant began.

  Chapter 7

  Charlie was far from forgiving the next morning. Purposely waking up the household early, banging on pots and pans, and running the vacuum just to annoy me. The girls had entered my room several times, and I vowed that one day I would wake up early enough to beat them to the chase. Since I’ve been here, I’ve stopped going to the gym and running each morning, something I did almost every day back at home.

  I barely slept. The entire night I had reoccurring nightmares that a cast of crabs had invaded my pants and had bitten my dick off. I kept waking up in a sweat, checking to make sure everything was intact, to then fall asleep and have the same nightmare.

  After showering and changing into my suit pants and collared dress shirt, I follow my usual routine by styling my hair and applying aftershave. I didn’t feel like shaving today, allowing my five-o’clock shadow to remain on my face.

  Tired and irritable, I make my way down to the kitchen, my stomach growling in the process. Even with the copious amounts of drinking last night, I crave something deliciously oily. I wonder what the chances are of Charlie frying up some bacon?

  Kate is already at the table, fiddling with her cell. She had stayed the night instead of driving back to her hotel room. Lifting her gaze away from the screen, she spots me entering the room and mouths something about Charlie which I can’t quite understand. Ignoring her for just a moment, I grab the pot of coffee and pour myself a mug along with a piece of toast that sits on a plate beside the coffee maker. I’m a coffee addict at the best of times, but this morning, it tastes like fucking heaven.

  A second later, my cell vibrates in my pocket. I remove it and read the text Kate just sent me.

  Beware the wrath of a woman that didn’t get laid by her husband last night.

  Oh c’mon! I didn’t need to know this shit. I shoot her an annoyed look, responding to her text immediately.

  Fuck you very much.

  “I don’t know what it is you guys are talking about, but know this: I’m tired,” Charlie tells us with her back towards the table, making a sandwich which she slides into a brown paper bag.

  “Good morning, cuz, you look very nice this morning.” I smile, trying my best to get back into the good books with her.

  “Cut the bullshit, Noah, I look like death. I just got my period so death is an understatement.”

  “See this, this right here is the kind of information I am NOT interested in. It would explain why the both of you are crabby. I’ve heard about girls being in sync,” I say with a mouthful of toast, unaware of the minefield I just stepped into.

  “Did you also hear that period pain is like a thousand knives being stabbed into your vagina?” Charlie adds, taking a seat beside me. “And that it’s extremely awkward when your tampon fills up and you’re running to the toilet with what feels like a grenade between your legs?”

  Kate does nothing to save me. Instead, she bows her head trying to hold in her laugh, almost choking on the banana she’s eating. Lex walks into the kitchen, pulling a small suitcase with him. He told me last night he had to be in Boston for three days. Also told me that he is glad I’m here, so someone could help Charlie. Not that I’ve been much help. Addison soiled her diaper the other day and I almost threw up in my mouth trying to find Charlie while carrying her so she could change it.

  “Good morning, everyone,” he announces. “Good morning, my beautiful wife.”

  Kissing her on the cheek, she mumbles something before sliding the cup of coffee across the table to him where he takes a seat. The girls were watching TV, something about a little girl with a whiney voice that spoke in Spanish.

  “What did I miss?” Lex asks, taking his cell out of his pocket.

  “Aunt Flow is visiting. Everyone is shitty and tired. Aside from that, you’re off to Boston to meet the Mackenzie group, right?”

  “Yes. Did Margaret email you the presentation?” Lex questions Kate.

  Kate scrolls through her Blackberry, shaking her head in response.

  “Honestly, Kate. These older assistants you’ve been hiring are not as switched on as the younger ones,” he chastises.

  “Oh, really?” Charlie questions with a raised eyebrow. “Perhaps you should find someone younger, like Montana perhaps? Maybe give her a call, see what she’s up to.”

  You could cut Charlie’s sarcasm with a knife. Lex puts his phone down and looks back at Charlie oddly. I don’t know what’s going on or who Montana is, but I really want to slide out of my chair and hide under the table, pretending that I don’t exist. Charlie is one hell of a moody bitch.

  “No comment?” she asks, waiting for Lex. “I didn’t think so. Now, since we’re all here and we have approximately two minutes before Dora the Explorer finishes, we need to set some rules in this house.”

  “Like not talking about menstrual cycles?” I tell her.

  Lex nodding in agreeance.

  “No, like your personal life ruining your chance at success,” she answers back.

  “How does that affect this household?”

  “It affects Lex,” Charlie points out.

  “Explain?”

  “Lex’s business cannot afford to have single men like you with a reputation for running naked around LA. Haden may run the company, but ultimately, Lex owns the business.”

  “What I do in my personal life does not affect my work,” I quip, quick to defend myself. “I take pride in my professionalism, Charlie. I work hard, and yes, I play hard. But that doesn’t mean I mix business with pleasure.”

  “He’s right, Charlotte, and if you knew what my executives got up to . . . you’d . . .” He trails off, Kate dragging her finger across her throat, motioning him to stop right there.

  “What are you talking about? Of course it affects your business. A nice, well-rounded man in a steady relationship shows commitment.”

  “God, Charlie, what do you want me to do? Become a priest?” I complain.

  “No. I think you need to start getting serious. You’re twenty-eight, Noah. When Lex was twenty-seven he owned several companies and was set for life,” Charlie says.

  Kate interrupts the conversation, “Yes, he did. But Charlie, Lex was a manwhore. Granted, he was miserable and missing you, but nevertheless, he was far from being a nice guy. He only got that far because he threw himself into his work to forget how much he hated life.”

  “Thank you, Kate. I’m trying to block out his manwhoreness and prove a point to Noah.” Charlie adds with sarcasm.

  “Hey.” Lex winces. “Can we stop talking about me being a manwhore? I’m offended.”

  “Oh please.” Charlie rolls her eyes. “You loved it.”

  I am done with the nagging, ready to pull out some lame excuse about an early meeting just to be able to leave the house.

  “Noah, you need to settle down. You don’t have forever to get married and start a family.” Charlie isn’t afraid to speak her mind. “You’ve had enough time to be Mr. Rebound or whatever they call you. Time now to find your lady. No more messing around.”

  “My lady?” I laugh. Lex joins in, shaking his head.

  “You know what?” Kate adds, “Charlie has a point. You’ve fucked more women than most guys. I once read that twenty-eight is the age to start planning for the future. You don’t want to be forty looking for a wife. You’re only one step away from a lifetime prescription to Viagra.”

  “Forty?” I scowl. “C’mon. That’s the new thirty. I’m not interested in a relationship.”

  “So there’s no one at all you see yourself settling down with? If you could have any woman in the world, who would you settle down in a relationship with?” Kate asks. Charlie and Lex wait in anticipation.

  On top of the kitchen table sits a trashy entertainment magazine. On the front cover is Scarlett Winters, an actress that is heavily in the tabloids due to her Oscar-winning roles and sometimes controversial love life. I won’t argue that she is the most stunning woman on this planet. Platinum blond hair with hazel eyes covered in long, luscious, black lashes. Her body is amazing. Implants, perhaps, but amazing curves. And her ass . . . to fucking die for. I mean, that booty would look fantastic sitting on my cock.

  “Scarlett Winters,” I say in one breath.

  “The actress?” The three of them say at the same time.

  I nod, blissfully looking at her face on the front cover.

  “So if the universe delivered Scarlett Winters to your doorstep, you would settle down with her?” Kate asks.

  “Uh huh.” As if that would ever happen. An A-list Hollywood star wanting a relationship with a non-celebrity. I could possibly fuck her, I know that much, but a relationship? I fucking wish. I imagine waking up next to her every morning. I’d be in fucking heaven, tapping that ass every fucking chance I got. I have a better chance of winning the lotto or even pigs flying and landing on the moon.

  “I don’t blame you,” Lex grins. “She’s quite something.”

  “Well,” Charlie says, annoyed, “if it’ll get her off the market so my husband has no chance, I’m in.”

  “You’re in what?” I ask, confused.

  “Kate and I will get you a date with Scarlett Winters. It only takes one date. Sprinkle that Mason charm on her and before you know it, we’ll be hearing wedding bells. I have the perfect plan already.” Charlie smiles with satisfaction.

  “C’mon. Scarlett Winters? This is ludicrous.”

  These women had no clue how to even contact her, let alone get me a date with her. Just agree, there’s no way these two could pull this off. Soon, they’ll forget about this stupid dare and carry on with their sad pathetic lives.

  “You need to shake on this, promise us that you’ll settle down once and for all if you start dating Scarlett,” Charlie tells me.

  I extend my hand. “Deal. And do you know why I’m agreeing?”

  The both of them shake their heads in unison.

  “Because it’ll never happen. Do you know how hard it is to get in contact with a celebrity? She has an army of people that you would need to get through. It’s comical, this whole ‘settle down Noah’ plan.” I laugh at my own words.

  “I like to prove people wrong,” Charlie responds confidently. “It’s what I do for a living. So wait and see.”

  I waited, and waited some more. Nothing, of course, happened.

  The next couple of weeks were hectic in the office. I finally met all the team that would be reporting directly to me, a bunch of young kids that had just finished college. Eager young men and women ready to get their hands dirty to climb the corporate ladder. Haden had given me a ton of projects which involved a few interstate trips. I flew into Phoenix for a day then followed a few days later by flying to Sacramento. It kept me busy, and my mind off things back home.

  The hours were long, but Haden ensured we enjoyed ourselves, taking our team out for lunch and challenging us boys on the court. It was late Friday afternoon that Haden called an impromptu meeting, even his wife Presley attending.

  “Sorry about the late meeting, I’ll be away this weekend and won’t have access to work emails,” he tells everyone.

  He confided in me earlier in the day that his mother was in town so he took the opportunity to use her as a babysitter and organize a quick trip to Vegas with Presley. A much needed dirty weekend since they barely spent time alone without their son.

  “I won’t have access to emails either,” Presley adds.

  The group snickers, both Haden and Presley breaking out into smiles like their hands were caught in the cookie jar.

  “Yeah, yeah. I know what you’re all thinking.” Presley laughs. “So, we got some exciting news today. We’ve been approved to increase our budget so we can expand our publishing services.”

  “That’s great news,” I acknowledge.

  “It really is. While we’ve got excellent results in the fiction department, given our geographical presence, why not take advantage of what we have around us,” she reveals.

  “I’m not following you,” Pete, one of our editors, says out loud.

  Haden takes the lead. “Hollywood. There is such a huge demand for celebrity autobiographies. Now granted, it’s a different process for establishing a book with an author. We need to utilize ghost writers and there will be a major push on marketing given the fan base of each celebrity we choose.”

  Haden tells us more about the plan, but cuts the meeting short due to the time. As everyone leaves the room, he asks me to stay back for a moment.

  “So, I had an interesting conversation with Lex the other day,” Haden says.

  “Oh yeah, about what?”

  “About how the first celebrity we will try to contract with is Scarlett Winters.” He follows with an underlying smirk

  I almost choke on my own saliva. “Scarlett Winters?”

  “Yes,” he says. “According to Forbes magazine, she is the most in-demand actress in the world right now. Anything with her name attached means big bucks. I’ve already teed up an interview with her on Monday.”

  “Are you fuc . . . are you serious?”

  Haden breaks out laughing, then follows with, “I’m serious. Presley will attend the interview with you since she manages the team of writers. And plus, I understand that Charlie has a keen interest in you meeting Scarlett Winters.”

  “Look, I don’t want to mix my personal life with business.”

  “I don’t care what you do in your personal life, Noah. Deliver me an autobiography of Scarlett Winters and Head of the West Coast Marketing Division is yours.”

  “You can’t be serious? West Coast Marketing. That’s a huge step up,” I gasp.

  Lex owns three publishing houses on the West Coast including here, San Francisco, and Seattle. I knew the business was doing extremely well financially, given the number of New York Times bestsellers they had published last year. This would be a dream position for me—a major step in my career. As long as I don’t fuck it up. If Haden could run this branch successfully, then I could take on that position with my eyes fucking closed.