I drop to my knees, bury my face in my hands and shout my heart out.

  “Jagger!!!”

  The music stops, and a door opens.

  “Jagger...” I mutter, my palms on the floor, my face down, my eyes stinging with tears.

  An arm slides around me and scoops me up as the other slips beneath my knees. He carries me into his room and lays me on his bed. I roll to my side. The room is barely lit. There are books, guitars, a desk, his computer and his mixers.

  The mattress dips behind my back.

  Fully clothed, he spoons me, his arm looping around my waist.

  He’s warm.

  His touch is tender.

  “Talk to me, Violet,” he murmurs in my hair, and I roll to my back.

  He props up onto his elbow, and studies my eyes, his features stunningly mature.

  “You feel better now?” he asks, and I nod.

  “I’ve never been in love before,” I say, my voice straining with emotion. “When I was a teenager, I thought I’d find someone my age to have a crush on, experience what everyone else did, yet it never happened to me. At eighteen, my life had ended before it began, and I’ve never learned how to deal with this kind of emotion. Do you understand?”

  He nods, his eyes shimmering in the soft light.

  “I thought I’d get a grip on what I feel... for you. It wasn’t my intention to push you away. I regret I did. I am the woman I wrote about, but I’m also the girl, who’s captive inside me. She’s eager to see the world through her innocent eyes. There is so much I want to see, learn, and experience...”

  I pause and smile.

  “Swimming and blow jobs are not the only things new to me... I want to carve my own path, and for that to happen, I have to leave a lot behind, and I don’t always know how to do it. In the meantime, I don’t want to hurt anyone, yet I already did, and I’m perfectly aware I’ll get hurt too... That’s why before we make each other bleed, I want to make sure you understand... I feel for you more than I felt for anyone before, and I connect with you in ways I’ve never experienced before, but it will not be easy for me. It scares me as much as it draws me to you. I am that woman in my story, and you are that man. Okay?”

  His eyes glisten, flooded with emotions. I run my fingers over his face and turn to him as he slowly tilts his head.

  His soft breath tickles my face and then his thumb slides across my lips, and then I taste his kiss.

  Perfect, pure and passionate. He parts his lips, his tongue lovingly claiming mine.

  He rolls his fingers down my neck, and slides his palm inside my dress, cupping a breast. He moves his hand back and forth, gently squeezing and kneading my mounds while thrusting his tongue into my mouth.

  A strap goes down, and then the other one, the top of my dress crumpling at my waist.

  He grabs the back of his T-shirt and pulls it over his shoulders, and then he crashes his bare chest against my naked breasts, and my whole body shudders with pleasure.

  My hands go into his hair as he moves his lips along my jawline and then down my neck, and on my breasts. I push my chest up and smoothly unfasten his belt.

  “This is so much more than I thought...” I murmur, and he smiles.

  He lifts the bottom of my dress up and pulls my panties down, his fingers brushing my cleft. Wetness trickles down between my legs.

  He keeps stroking me, the cold touch of his ring against my pulsing flesh throwing me into a spinning spiral.

  “Jagger?” I call him, slipping into a trance.

  I gasp and moan and run my palm over his groin.

  “That’s good, baby,” he says with a raspy voice, and I tilt my hips up.

  He slides his fingers into me and strokes me slowly, the pleasure washing my core.

  He looks down at me and shakes his head, and then he pushes deeper, and I’m tugging at his jeans, grabbing him.

  “You tell me when you want me, baby...” he says, and I almost come.

  “Now. I want you now,” I say in one breath.

  His jeans fly off him. He rips a foil with his teeth, expertly rolls a condom down, and slides on top of me, smoothly entering me. My mouth drops open, my eyes pulling wide. Slowly he goes in all the way, stretching me and filling me.

  “Oh, fuck...” I mutter, spreading my legs wider.

  He stills for a moment and starts kissing me, and my walls begin to clench around his girth, squeezing hungrily.

  “I love that...” he purrs and rolls his hips, burying himself deeper.

  My hands latch on his ass as I eagerly lift my hips. Propped on his arms, he drops his eyes to where our bodies connect.

  “I’m so fucking wet...” I say.

  “That... you are,” he says smiling.

  “Please...”

  His smile withers away, as he wraps an arm around me and starts thrusting into me.

  “Oh, fuck... Jagger.”

  The tension builds inside me. He slams harder and tightens his grip on me, his eyes connecting with mine, giving me a glimpse of his irresistible power.

  “That’s so good,” I murmur before my eyes go vacant, and my nails drill holes in his arms, my body shaking, uncontrollably.

  My scream rips into the air, and his palm goes over my mouth, his breaths coming faster, his growling filling my ears, his hips almost breaking mine. He pumps me hard, and my core clenches, my body breaking under his.

  A few moments pass by before he slows down, and his hand slides off my mouth.

  I take a long breath.

  He is fucking heaven.

  The weather is perfect. It’s warm and breezy. The air is dry.

  “Where are we going?”

  “Do you have a swimsuit, darling?” he asks, taking me in.

  His eyes change colors as the sun plays hide and seek, going in and out of immaculate clouds. Drops of gold light glint in his forest eyes.

  I study them for a moment, my stare spurring a secret smile on his lips.

  I climb into his Jeep Wrangler, and his eyes dip to my shorts.

  “What?”

  “I like ‘em,” he says, motioning to my legs rather than the shorts.

  “Thank you.”

  I get settled in my seat.

  “I’ve never seen you driving,” I say.

  “That’s because you don’t know much about me.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Seriously.”

  “Is this your car?”

  “It sure is. Paid with cash,” he says slipping his sunglasses up his nose.

  I examine him furtively as he backs up slowly and pulls away from my driveway. He fashions ripped, dark-blue jeans, and a slim fit, white T-shirt, that sets off the ink on his right forearm. His tousled hair runs long on his neck. I examine his beautiful profile, straight nose, sexy, angled jaw and high cheekbones.

  “Anything else you’d like to know?” he asks throwing me a quick side glance, flashing a beautiful smile.

  I wish I could shake off the spell.

  “Um... How’d you made your cash? Traded something?”

  “Yeah... Pussy,” he tosses back at me, chuckling softly.

  “Ha, ha... Very funny,” I say and look away, hiding my grin.

  “I made good money last year in Europe.”

  “DJ-ing?”

  “Yup.”

  “Why’d you stop?”

  “I didn’t. I came back to play some clubs, and then I got caught up with my parents, and I promised I’d stay until the end of the year.”

  “Are you going back?”

  “Probably,” he says casually, his eyes trained on the road.

  I go quiet, and a few moments tick by. His fingers cuff my thigh.

  “What’s the problem now?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Are you gonna tell me or just pout?”

  “You said you’re going to leave, so I’m sad. Is that a good enough answer for you?”

  He looks at me for a moment.

  “I didn’t say, I’m gonna leave you, did I?”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “I don’t know. It could mean a lot of things. Some good. Some bad. You said you wanted to experience life? There you have it. This is life. Messy and unpredictable,” he says, glancing at me over the rim of his glasses, his lips curling into a soft smile. “You want to plan everything?” he asks.

  “I guess not,” I mutter, not totally on board with his idea about life.

  “You don’t sound convinced. Would you like to pick baby names while we’re at it?”

  “You’re such a smartass,” I say, and this time I pout.

  His chest rocks with laughter.

  “I didn’t even fuck you properly... And by properly, I mean as much as I wanted... or needed.”

  It’s my turn to throw him a smile.

  “It may be funny to you, but it’s not to me,” he says, a playful grin rolling on his lips.

  “You fucked my face... That counts as fucking,” I add, and giggle.

  “Violet! No, no...” he says, waggling his finger at me. “Let’s establish some rules, baby. Okay?”

  Shifting in his seat, he runs his fingers over his groin, his eyes darting between the road and me.

  “No dick stories unless we’re in a room or space where I can fuck you. All right? Otherwise, we’re gonna end up in a ditch.”

  “Okay,” I say, playing a naughty smile.

  I go silent, and his hand comes to my thigh again.

  “So... You liked it?” he asks with his soft, bedroom voice, studying me over the rim of his glasses again.

  I glance at him, grinning ear to ear.

  “I’m talking about fucking your face.”

  “I know what you’re talking about... You just said no stories. You’re breaking your own damn rules.”

  “They’re mine. I can do whatever the hell I want with them.”

  He looks at me again, unable to wipe off his smile from his face.

  “Hmm?”

  “Was I good?” I ask.

  “Mm-hmm. Your passion made up for the lack of experience. You need a lot of practice, though,” he says, his cheeks, flushed.

  “I knew you were going to say that,” I say, shaking my head, and we burst into laughter.

  “The thing is, not only did I like it, a lot, but I got off thinking about it,” I confess.

  “That’s good.”

  “It was also the first time I’d ever done it. ”

  He slides his eyeglasses down his nose and looks at me.

  “You’re joking...” he says.

  “Nope.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Were you raised in a cult or something?”

  “No. I have strict parents. That’s all,” I say, flat, as if I’m not talking about my life.

  “Do you have siblings?”

  “An older sister.”

  “How did she turn out?”

  “Good. She’s a nurse, married. Her husband is an accountant. They are trying for children.”

  “You two get along?”

  “We’re okay, but things changed after my divorce. I had a fall out with my parents. They’re not talking to me, so she’s pretty much the only one who’s still in touch with me. It’s not perfect, but we’re doing our best.”

  “You think they’d like me?”

  I glance at him.

  “Your parents,” he says, serious.

  My eyes widen with surprise.

  “If they’d be true to their hearts, I’d say yes. Otherwise no. I don’t think so. On the same token, I’m not so sure your parents would like me.”

  “I think my dad would like you a lot,” he says, and I smile.

  “For the wrong reasons, I guess.”

  He nods, grinning.

  “What about your ex-husband? Did he love you?”

  “I don’t know. He probably did... in his own way,” I say, hesitant and conflicted. “We were a bad match, but we didn’t know it then, and no one in our circle dared or cared to point it out.”

  “People usually stay away from other people’s problems,” he says.

  “I guess.”

  “He didn’t like to fuck,” he says bluntly, steering the wheel and entering the highway.

  That... wasn’t even a question.

  “How can you say that?”

  “It’s the truth. I don’t know many men who don’t like blowjobs, but the ones I know, don’t really enjoy fucking either.”

  “Maybe he’s one of those men who can’t touch their wives that way.”

  “Or maybe he’s touched someone else that way. Someone on the side,” he says,

  “Well, even if he did, I never felt like he was cheating. He never gave me a reason to suspect him.”

  I cringe inwardly realizing how stupid I sound.

  “Just because he didn’t make you feel like he was cheating, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s still cheating. And it’s not that hard to cheat if you keep that part separated from your family life.”

  “How do you know all this?”

  “I’ve seen it,” he says, serious.

  We lock eyes for a moment.

  “What about you?” I ask.

  “What about me?”

  “What was your experience with women?”

  “Good,” he says, playful.

  “Don’t fuck with me, Jagger,” I say, not smiling.

  “There were women... in my...”

  “Recent past,” I say and arch an eyebrow.

  He gives me a cute smile.

  “Lots of them?” I ask.

  “Not as many as you think,” he says, but I’m not buying it.

  “Should I repeat the question?”

  “Okay... There were some.”

  “Should I worry about diseases?”

  “No, I worry enough. I’m not an idiot. I’m clean. Should I worry about babies?”

  “No. I don’t want kids, at least not now, and if I ever do, you’ll probably be talking to a different person than I am right now.”

  “Good.”

  “We were talking about you and women...”

  “Damn. We should’ve gone somewhere closer, so you didn’t have all this time to interrogate me.”

  “Where exactly are we going?”

  “Hamptons. My parents have a beach home there.”

  “Are you kidding me?” I ask, unable to conceal my surprise.

  “It’s not big.”

  “Oh, my God!”

  “Good?” he asks, grinning.

  “Yes. Of course, it’s good. So we have enough time to talk,” I say, stifling a smile.

  “I don’t like to talk about it,” he says.

  “Well, then we have a problem. I don’t like secrets. I need to know the truth no matter how bad it is.”

  “You’re so full of it,” he says, cocking an eyebrow. “You can’t handle the fucking truth.”

  “Well, you may be right, but we should at least try not to hide stuff from each other.”

  “Nobody’s hiding anything.”

  “Why don’t you want to talk about it, then?”

  He gives me a full mouth grin.

  “Because I know for a fact it will upset you.”

  “Why would upset me? It had happened before we met. Were you upset about my husband?”

  “Yes, a little.”

  “Okay... Well, I’m not going to be upset. I promise.”

  “Yeah...You say that now, and the first time we argue, you’ll throw it back at me. You got pissed when I told you I lived in Europe. No. I’ve learned my lesson. Past is the past.”

  “I’m sorry. You’re right, but it wasn’t because you lived in Europe.”

  He waves me off.

  “Yeah, okay...”

  “Look, I know you have a sway with women, I’m not blind. I bet they throw themselves at you, and you’re too good in bed not to have enjoyed them.”

  “You haven’t seen much of me in bed.”

  “I really don’t need to. You want me to remind you?” I say playfully. “I write the sex column for Rapt, and I have a street Ph.D. in blowjobs, threesomes and getting men hard,” I say with self-deprecating humor, and he starts to laugh.

  “Your writing is pretty good.”

  “Don’t change the subject. Humor me.”

  “You’re like a dog chasing a bone... Fucking relentless, man... Why is it so damn important?”

  “It would help me understand why you want me instead of doing what you’ve been doing and keeping all your options open.”

  “Okay... It’s really simple. I’ve never felt much for anyone either,” he says, and his smile dies out. “I had my first woman when I was really young, and yes, I didn’t have to chase them. In the beginning, they were older than me, and we had a lot of fun. As I grew older, they started to be closer to my age. They were really hot, but they didn't have much inside. They weren’t stupid. They were just empty. No depth, no substance, no feelings. Maybe that was my luck, I have no fucking idea, but that’s what it was. Then, last summer, I spent a couple of months in Ibiza working as a DJ. The place is crazy... The best males compete for the hottest females. It doesn’t get more competitive than that. I landed enough hot tail to learn. You can rub it any way you want, and you can ogle it until you get pink in the eye, in the end, it’s all the same. And it’s dry as fuck. Sometimes it’s stupid as well and full of pretense. There’s a rush at a primal level, and I felt it. You get excited, and you’re horny as fuck, and you run high on that need to score, but once you do it, the wake-up call comes. You’d rather flip a switch and fall off the planet than face that person again. So that’s what it was, and that’s what set my view on this shit, and then I came back here, but things didn’t get any better.”

  “Oh... So I’m sort of an accident.”

  “No, not really. I’ve never been with a woman like you before, and you’re not an accident...”

  He pauses for a moment.

  “You’re the one I fell for,” he says serious, without looking at me, and then he steers the wheel, turns right and exits the highway.

  13

  The house is far from small. It has an open kitchen and a large living room, three bedrooms and three bathrooms, water views streaming in almost every room, a fireplace, and a patio. With the cottage style furniture, white linen curtains, the state of the art kitchen, and hardwood floors it can easily grace the pages of a lifestyle magazine.