"Don't damn us, butterfly. I'm not nearly the monster you make me out to be." He leaned in farther and kissed the tip of my nose. It took all I had not to pull back and slap him. I wouldn't survive the beating to follow, and he'd not done anything but point out the truth. Lucky meant something to me. Bravo. He'd hit the nail on the head. I wasn't giving him the satisfaction of a heartfelt response.

  "Right. So tell me about this job, so that I can get to it." I pulled back and pushed his hand away, done with him touching me.

  He lifted an eyebrow, as if a little surprised that I would deny him anything. If I couldn't, I would deny him everything... I’d almost come to the end of my dedication to my family. I was teetering on the edge of running away and starting a new life, but something held me in place. I wasn't sure if it was my Grandma or the memories of a time when my father wasn't a villain. Whatever it was, I prayed it would soon subside. I wanted out. Needed it. Desperately.

  "I have Zachary Banks in the shed out back, at the edge of the property. Do you know who he is, love?" His eyebrow rose sharply as he studied me with his dark gaze. Something about the way he asked the question let me know I should know the answer. And I did. Everyone knew who Zachary Banks was. He was up and coming, but in a way my father would never be. Worse, he was the competition, which wasn't at all welcome in my father’s world.

  He motioned for someone else to come into the room, and without turning around, I knew it was Dante.

  My father's favorite goon was head over heels in love with me, and I felt nothing but mild disgust toward him. I could tell the minute he entered a room, thanks to the overbearing scent of his cologne. It was most likely used to cover up the smell of the weed he smoked on and off all day long.

  "He's the boss for the Banks crew just sixty miles from here." Dante answered for me.

  I didn't let my gaze move from my father, but simply nodded. I knew who they were, and my father knew that I knew. Dante, however, had no clue, as usual.

  "Right, Dante." My father turned his dark gaze toward the large oaf. "You're up for a turn. Selene is to watch and make sure you do it right."

  "Do what?" I asked with no emotion in my voice.

  "Remove the problem that is Zachary Banks, butterfly." He smiled and touched the side of my face before motioning for us to get out. "Report back when it's done."

  "Fine." I walked out of the room without waiting on my makeshift companion. He was a mix of terror and tragedy, but he didn't scare me, not in the slightest. If Rafael Delgado had done one thing, it was to teach his daughter, me, to fight like a man and scream like a woman.

  Killing someone point blank would be a first for me, and though I wanted to believe myself dark and cold, I wasn't. Not in the slightest. Too much of my mother and my Grandma lived in me. Too much of me hoped that Lucky and I would get back together. He would be appalled at the idea of me standing by idly and watching a man die.

  Though Zachary Banks was a bastard much like my father, his money was made in ripping people's futures to shreds. He was too afraid to dive into drugs for fear that my father would come after him.

  Guess he changed his mind. Bad bet to take.

  "If you want to pull the trigger, you know I don't mind." Dante moved up beside me, his dark hair and dark features making him every girl's wet dream. At least until they found out that he often resembled the bogey-man under their beds. He was deadly and didn't put up with shit, unless it was from me. Even there, he had his limits, but I'd yet to push hard enough to really test them. I wanted to--I wanted to so fucking bad sometimes, but I was far too smart to start a war in my own house. Besides, nothing was much worth fighting for anymore.

  "I don't." I pushed the large double doors at the back of the kitchen open and walked down the long stairs toward the back of the property. It was early fall and the leaves had just begun to fall. The colors were beautiful and beckoned me to get on my bike and ride deep into the belly of the forest. There was peace there, but I wasn't ready to accept it. Not yet.

  "You alright? You've been a little off lately. We've all noticed." Dante reached out and clamped his strong fingers around my shoulder, squeezing softly.

  We stopped just outside the shed, and I turned to him, nodding. "I'm fine. Let's get this over with."

  "Alright. Just stand back behind me a little bit. No need to get blood on your pretty white blouse." His eyes moved down me, and I stifled a shiver. He wanted one thing more than anything else. Me.

  Never happening. Ever.

  Dante pushed the door to the shed opened and flipped on the light. I walked in just behind him. An older man sat in the middle of the room, his business suit stained with dark crimson liquid. He lifted his head and squinted through two black eyes.

  He must have realized why we were there, because he began to thrash about, screaming as best he could around the gag.

  Dante, being the sick bastard he was, reached out and pulled the gag down so that we could hear him pleading for his life.

  "Please. Please, just listen. I didn't sell those fucking drugs. Rafael knows this. He knows that I would never cross him." He let out a shrill cry as Dante lifted his gun.

  "Not what we heard, bitch. Stop crying like a little girl and die like a man." Dante's voice was like ice.

  Die like a man? Did real men die quietly and with dignity? Not any of the men I'd seen drop beneath my father's dark shadow. They'd all done just like Zachary was doing—like I would have done. They begged.

  "Then you heard wrong. I might be a devious bastard, but I'm not stupid." His face shifted a little as he glanced over at me. "Please. I have a wife and two girls. Pretty girls, like yourself. I didn't..." he let out a sob and dropped his head toward his chest. His whole body shook. "I didn't do this. I swear I didn't."

  "Look up. I want to see your eyes when I shoot you," Dante barked, but the man kept his head down.

  The soft whisper of his prayers tore me in half and tears blurred my vision. What were we doing? What was I doing there?

  And that’s when I jumped in. “Stop it right now!” I shouted. “Let him go!”

  Dante looked at me. “I knew you were too soft.”

  “You’re right. I can’t do murder. I won’t.”

  “You really want me to let him go?”

  I touched his arm. “Yeah. Please.”

  “He’s scum.”

  “He’s a human being.”

  “You’re not the son your daddy wanted.”

  “Guess not.”

  “Being a girl makes you weak.”

  “Guess so.”

  “What will your daddy say?”

  “I don’t give a fuck. I’m done with his tests.”

  I started to reach for Dante as the gun went off twice.

  Oh my gosh! Dante shot him!

  Everything was a blur. My senses were numb. Turning, I walked from the shed like it meant nothing, but inside my soul shattered. How in the world could I be a part of something so malicious and cruel was scary.

  Dante chased after me. Like a lion stalking its prey, he jumped and knocked me to the ground. He jumped on top of me and held the gun to my head.

  My stomach lurched. Was I next?

  I pleaded for him not to kill me.

  He softly stroked my hair. “I care about you, Selene.”

  “Funny way of showing it,” I spat.

  He lowered the gun and looked at me. “We’re not going to tell your daddy you chickened out. Got it? Far as he knows, you watched…and didn’t try to stop it.”

  “I passed?”

  “You passed, now get up.”

  He held out his hand and helped me up. I stared into his cold eyes. The eyes of a cold-blooded murderer.

  “Are you going to be okay?” he asked.

  “Hell, what’s one more nightmare, right?” I said in a sarcastic tone.

  “Don’t look at me like that, Selene. Just go along with everything I say.”

  “And then what? Just go on and live my life?”

  “Yeah. And if you open up your pretty, little mouth, then you’re dead too.”

  “Living in fear is not living.”

  “Shut up with the bullshit. And do what’s expected of you, Princess.”

  “You’re a monster,” I said, wiping tears from my face. “I was willing to jump into your world, but not at this cost. It’s way too much. Murdering people in cold blood is wrong. I want out!”

  “There’s no getting out now. And what would your father think of this pathetic display right now?”

  “He can go fuck himself! I’m done!”

  “You just need time to process all of this. And your father will flip if he knows you failed. So I’m going to cover your ass. Because you’ve done so well in all the other tests.” He pushed a strand of hair out of my eyes. “You owe me, Selene. Don’t think I won’t collect.”

  I took a trembling step backward.

  “Now, get the hell out of here,” he said. “Spread your wings, little butterfly. And think about how you’re going to pay me back.”

  Tears dripped down my face as I jogged around the house and got on my bike. I had no clue where I was going, but I couldn't stay there. I might turn into the black nothingness that lived around me if I did.

  I would sooner die.

  Chapter 2

  Lucky

  I took an ass kicking for Lena and survived. When I was well enough, I found out she checked out of the hospital. But she’d left me a note on my bedside table. She said she was breaking up with me for my own good and to stay away. She said she came in when I was sleeping and kissed me goodbye. I actually remember hearing her sweet voice. When I went home, she refused to see me. She wouldn’t answer my calls, texts, or emails. I was cut off so completely, I might as well have died.

  A few months later, I ran into her at the grocery store. She said it hurt too much to talk about it. And that I should leave her alone. She barely made eye contact. I was sure her dad told her to stay away from me. I didn’t get why she was listening to him. Lena always had a mind of her own. She never listened to anyone. I wanted nothing more than to throw my arms around her, but she ran off as fast as her legs could carry her. I didn’t chase her. That was never my style.

  I caved in once and called her on her landline when I knew she was the only one in the house. Hearing her voice felt like bliss. She told me to never call her again. Her cold words were like a punch to the gut. So I left her alone. And I’d never felt lonelier in my life.

  ***

  I should have been more excited about the big day, but I couldn't stop thinking about Lena. Something must have happened to her. Why else would she be at the center of my thoughts? It had been more than a year since she turned her back on whatever was starting with us. It was more than obvious that I'd fallen in love, but she'd only wanted a playmate.

  When things got rough-- she ran. Typical. Everyone woman in my life did. Hell, my own mother checked out at my birth, which was probably for the best, seeing that my father was a vicious bastard.

  I tried to hold it in like it didn’t hurt. I kept my emotions to myself. But rage has a way of exploding. I went to the gym and pumped iron. I punched in a few walls. I threw myself into random tasks. I drank to numb myself. And yeah, I slept with other women.

  Maybe I didn’t cry, but I sure as hell felt the pain.

  ***

  It had been a tough year but in some ways, it was worth it. The morning I was finally going to be a full-fledged member of the Stone Wolves.

  I took a deep breath and turned to look at my best friend, Dane. His foot crunched through the sea of beer cans on the floor.

  “How much did you drink last night?” he asked.

  “Lost count. Passed out.”

  "You alright, brother?"

  “Please don’t worry about my drinking habits,” I said.

  “Drowning your sorrows isn’t going to solve anything, Lucky.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

  We both stepped outside.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  "Yeah, I'm good." I reached my arms to the sky and stretched as a loud yawn escaped me. The day was quickly moving by, and soon it would be time for me to ride out to Pike's Peak. The patch ceremony was held on a dusty patch of earth in the middle of nowhere. It was beautiful out there, and I'd spend a whole lot of time sitting under those old oak trees, trying to figure out what the fuck happened between me and my girl.

  She would always be my girl, whether she wanted to or not.

  "You thinking about Selene?" Dane's voice pulled me from my reverie, and I glanced over at him.

  “Feelings are for pussies,” I said.

  “Stop it. I’m your best friend. Not one of your biker buddies.”

  “Why would you ask me that question anyway?”

  “You left your laptop open.”

  “Oh no!”

  “Oh, yes. You composed a long winded e-mail, professing your undying love to her.”

  “I didn’t.” Okay, I knew I did.

  “You did.”

  “Go check, please.”

  “Sure.”

  A couple minutes later, he looked at me.

  “So what was the damage?” I asked.

  “You wrote up some sugary prose, that’s for sure.”

  “Great,” I said sarcastically.

  “And when she didn’t answer you back, you said things no lady should ever have to hear. Then she responded. And you two started arguing.”

  “Shit. I was drunk. I don’t remember.”

  “You told her she destroyed your heart.”

  I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “Never ever write love letters at three a.m. when you’re drunk as a skunk. Did I sound drunk?”

  “Yeah. Wasted.”

  “Then she knows I was drunk.”

  “She asked you to leave her alone and let her be happy. She just wants what’s best for you. She said you’re a good man, but that you and she are from two different worlds. But she will always love you and never forget you.”

  “Well, isn’t she the sweetest?” I said.

  “Why did you even write her?”

  “I was drunk, sitting alone in the dark, wallowing in…”

  “Self-pity?”

  “I was wallowing in the pile of shit that is my existence.”

  He crossed his arms. “You’re getting all broody on me. Boy, you’re lucky your biker friends aren’t here to see this.”

  I playfully punched him. “Shut up. But yeah. Maybe I was getting all broody. I started thinking about all the good times Selene and I had. I remembered her pretty eyes and sweet smile and wonderful laugh. She was the person I confided in, the person I’d talk to about my day. We used to have these long talks and we’d discuss everything. She put a smile on my face and made me laugh. She was the first person I’d talk to in the morning, and the last person I said goodnight to. We’d text all day in between. And then there was the way we made love. I miss that more than anything.”

  “So you’re thinking about her?”

  I sighed. "Yeah. Absolutely. Not sure I’ll really ever stop." I dropped my hands back down to my handlebars and squeezed tightly. "I just don't get it. Why would she give up on us so easily?"

  "I wouldn't know. I'm too damn focused on my career to talk about women." He kicked the bike again, just it pushing a little with his foot.

  "Hey, get your dirty-ass boots off my baby." I growled and started the old Harley up. I loved it so much, and it had been a good friend to me over the last year when I needed one most. I'd put more miles on the old bike than I should have, but it was cheaper than therapy.

  "Alright, well I'm off. I'll talk to you later. Good luck, buddy. I'm proud of you." He moved closer and extended his hand.

  I shook it and gave him a tight smile. "Thanks, Dane. I appreciate the support."

  "Always, Bro." Dane turned and walked back to his truck as I pulled my phone from my back pocket. It buzzed again and I prayed like hell that it was Lena, but there was no way. Not much had happened since that night, other than my growing a year older. Not having her in my life left it feeling numb and monotonous. I spent the first part of the breakup so damn angry that I could hardly see straight, but after calming a little and moving into the sadness of losing her, I made a decision that changed everything.

  I started to visit her grandma a few times a week. I got to know so much more about my girl than I thought possible. She was so beautiful and kind, and her Grandma was quick to tell me the stories about Lena that reminded me of that.

  Pressing the phone to my ear, I smiled. "Hi, Grandma."

  "Lucky. Aren't you supposed to have left the lodge already, boy? You're going to be late!" Her voice was warm and welcoming, though it sounded like she was going for demanding and strict. She pulled it off horribly.

  I chuckled. "I'm leaving now. I wanted to answer your call."

  "Well, I was just going to leave you a voice mail and say I was proud of you. Go now and we can talk later."

  I shouldn't have asked, but I had to know. Besides, I knew Selene's grandmother had no problem at all filling me in on how my baby was doing. Whether Lena called herself mine anymore was beside the point. She was. Plain and simple.

  "How's my girl? Is she alright? I can't get her off my mind today, Grandma. I'm worried about her."

  "I'll call her, sweet boy. Go do what you need to do, and call me later. I'll fill you in, but you know the deal." She let out a sweet giggle.

  "I sure do. If anyone asks, we don't even know each other." I smiled. "So risqué."

  She laughed again. "Alright, silly. Have fun and know that Lena would be there if she thought it was at all safe."

  "She would be there either way if she loved me, Grandma." I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath. Lena was never one to shy away from the challenge of pulling off an appearance in front of the Stone Wolves and having them never once realize that she was actually there.

  "That's not true, but believe what you will. Be safe."

  I pulled the phone from my ear and tucked it back into the back pocket of my jeans before revving the engine. There wasn't much I wouldn't give to have her there with me for the ceremony, but Grandma was right. Even if Lena and I were still together, which we weren't, she would be putting herself in danger hanging out at a sacred ceremony that belonged to only the Stone Wolves.