“I’m not,” I finally said. “She had to work, and I was curious.”

  “Interesting,” the women said in unison.

  “Besides, Carolyn is a submissive.”

  Both women laughed and shook their heads.

  “She’s a switch,” Tanya said. “And I don’t feel bad for telling you. That’s not a secret at the club. I’m guessing she just didn’t want you to feel bad.”

  Carolyn?

  A switch?

  Now there was something new. Apparently, even my best friend could be full of surprises.

  “I’m sure she’ll tell me when she’s ready,” I said.

  “I’m sure she will,” Tanya grabbed Heather’s hand and squeezed it. “And what about you? What did you think about the club?”

  What did I think?

  It was wildly overwhelming, but in a good way. It was naughty and fun and wonderful. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to jump right in, but I hadn’t had the experience I’d thought that I would have. Most of me assumed that I would walk in, get some inspiration for my book, and walk right out.

  Something had changed, though.

  Raiden had been right about my incessant comments regarding spankings. I was curious. I did want to know more. It wasn’t just blind curiosity, though. I wanted something – someone – specific. I wanted him.

  “I’m glad I came,” I said. “I met some interesting people, saw some interesting things. It’s all still very new to me. I have a lot to learn.”

  “Have you tried the beginner’s class?” Tanya asked. “It’s on Wednesday nights. You might like it.”

  “I haven’t,” I said.

  “There are a couple of teachers. They rotate sometimes, but the lessons are kind of the same. They offer an introduction to BDSM and explain the lifestyle,” Tanya said. We were alone in our corner of the restaurant, so she wasn’t worried about being overheard or having anyone notice what we were talking about.

  “Maybe I’ll check it out,” I said. “I like learning.”

  “What else do you like?” Heather asked.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Well, you saw a lot of things at the club. What sorts of things excite you?” Tanya clarified. “Do you like rope play? Voyeurism?”

  “I’m not sure,” I admitted. “There’s a lot to learn about.”

  “Well, I’m sure Raiden will give you a hand when you come to the class,” Heather said. She took a sip of her drink. “He’s an excellent instructor and knows so much about guiding new submissives into the lifestyle. Hell, he’s great at guiding Doms, too. He has a way with people. That’s for damn sure.”

  “Raiden?” I choked out, and I must have blushed, because both women’s eyebrows immediately went up.

  “He’s one of the teachers at the newbie class,” Tanya said. “But I’m guessing you already know him.”

  “Yeah, I know him.” They were going to find out the truth sooner or later. Besides, my reaction had obviously been kind of obvious. “He, uh, he’s putting some bookshelves into my house for me,” I whispered.

  “I’m sure that’s not all,” Heather said.

  “Like I said,” I whispered. “It’s complicated.”

  “With Raiden, it certainly is,” Heather commented. She looked at Tanya for a second, as though trying to decide whether she should say anything else, but she finally settled on what she wanted to tell me. “Raiden is special to the members of the club.”

  “I know,” I said.

  “Maybe you do,” she said. “But I’d like to reinforce that idea.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She means you need to be careful,” she said. “This,” she gestured between us. “This kind of thing can’t happen with Raiden. You can’t go out just to see if you’re interested in something more.”

  “That sounds like quite the commitment,” I nodded. “Isn’t going out with people part of the fun of discovering who they are? Casual lunch dates between friends can happen.”

  “Not with Raiden,” Tanya said. “He’s been hurt before.”

  “I know all about that,” I said. “But he’s moved on.”

  “Moved on?” Tanya asked.

  “Yeah,” I thought of the female voice I’d heard when I called him on Sunday. “I talked to him the other day, and he was with someone. I think he’s dating someone.”

  I didn’t want to gossip, but I also didn’t want them to think I was pursuing him.

  Because I wasn’t.

  Because it wasn’t meant to be.

  “What day did you call him?” Heather was careful.

  “Sunday.”

  “Around 5:30?”

  “Yes...”

  I didn’t like where this was going.

  How did she know what time I’d called at?

  If she knew, then chances were that there was more to the story, and if there was more to the story, than I was being an idiot, and I didn’t like that idea.

  Raiden was...

  Heavenly.

  I didn’t like the idea that I had somehow misjudged his intentions so horribly and made a big ol’ mistake. Maybe he wasn’t really dating someone.

  Maybe I’d been wrong.

  “He was at a training for the instructors,” Tanya said.

  “I was there with him,” Heather explained. “Honestly, it was probably my voice that you heard.”

  My stomach suddenly hurt. Was it supposed to be in knots over a guy? I didn’t think so, but it suddenly was totally, definitely, completely in knots over a guy.

  Yep, I was an idiot.

  And I’d somehow managed to embarrass myself horribly in front of these women.

  “Oh,” I managed to squeak out the word.

  “You know,” Heather said thoughtfully. “One of the key elements of the kink life is talking and communicating. Have you told Raiden that you’re interested in him?”

  “Sort of.”

  “That means no,” Tanya pointed out. “There’s no room for vague in this lifestyle.”

  “It’s complicated,” I repeated, embarrassed that my voice came out whiny.

  “Yes, we’ve heard that,” Heather said.

  “I mean...it’s just that Raiden and I have a lot to talk about.”

  “Well, you took the first steps. You came to a club so you could learn and seek out a partner or partners. You put yourself out there. That has to count for something,” Tanya said kindly.

  We ate the rest of our breakfast and the conversation shifted casually to other topics as we ate. They let me off the hook as far as Raiden goes. Neither woman seemed intent on pushing the matter, and for that, I was grateful.

  Tanya and Heather invited me to come hiking with them sometime – as friends, they assured me – and they told me all about their pet puppies. We talked about our hobbies and interests and even about our jobs. I told them I’m a consultant, sticking with the same lie I’d told Raiden. I didn’t know how to tell them the truth about that one. We made plans to meet up for brunch again the next week, and when the bill came, Heather paid.

  “That’s not necessary,” I said, reaching for the check, but Tanya placed her hand on mine.

  “Let Heather pay,” she said gently. Those three little words held more than just a request. She was letting me know that not only was Heather in charge, but that it would make Heather feel good if I let her pay, so I did.

  “Thank you,” I said. “This was really nice.”

  “And it was nice to get to know you better,” Heather said.

  Being around people who were so wildly honest and kind felt incredible to me. It wasn’t every day that I met people who didn’t seem afraid to go after what they wanted or to express themselves in new and different ways. Both Heather and Tanya had really made me feel like they cared. They cared about getting to know me and they cared about me finding answers and perhaps most of all, they cared about their friends.

  I liked the idea that Anchored was more than just some place where people went to hook up or show off. It really was a sort of haven where people could go be themselves, and where they could express themselves safely. Nobody was going to judge any of us for body size, personal style, or kink preferences. Not at Anchored.

  After brunch, I just felt like I really, really wanted to go back. I’d been on the fence for awhile, but maybe I would give the newbie class a chance. Maybe I’d give it a try. After all, what could go wrong? At the very least, I could stand to learn safety tips for playing in public, and apparently, Raiden was a very good teacher.

  The three of us were walking out of the restaurant and had just reached the lobby doors when I heard someone call my name. Instantly, I recognized the voice.

  Julie.

  Shit.

  I cringed, hoping she wouldn’t actually come over, but Heather and Tanya both turned to see who knew my name.

  “Do you know her?” Heather asked as Julie came scurrying toward us. She was obviously on a business lunch. Heather and Tanya were small business owners who were both dressed in beautiful maxi dresses with matching necklaces. Julie was in a suit with her hair pulled tight in a low bun, and she had heels on.

  “I...”

  “Blair,” Julie said, grabbing me and hugging me. She completely ignored Tanya and Heather. “I read the pages that you sent to me last night, and they’re fabulous. A young woman who goes to a sex club as a way to meet a husband? What a cool twist! My favorite part was how nobody at the club knew anything. They were all clueless buffoons who thought she was really interested in what they were doing. It was crazy!”

  Julie kept talking, but the air around me had changed to ice. Yeah, Tanya and Heather had both heard every word she’d said, and what was worse was that Julie had completely missed the point of that scene in my story. My character had been looking for ways to discover herself, and she had followed someone to the club, and then she’d sneaked in. She’d been amazed at what she’d discovered. Everyone else did know what she was doing, which was the total opposite of what Julie had said. Shit.

  Okay, maybe it was time to find a new editor, or at least have a very serious talk with Julie about reading carefully before assessing my work. Shit. I got that she was excited, but that hadn’t been the point of the scene. Did I need to clarify what I had written? Or did I need to start praying that a hole would open up in the bottom of the floor and swallow me up before my embarrassment could kill me?

  “Oh, that’s Pete,” Julie looked over her shoulder as a man waved to her. “I’ve got to go. Talk later.”

  She left before I’d even said anything, and I felt two hands on my shoulders: one on each.

  “Outside. Now,” Heather hissed in my ear.

  Shit.

  Chapter 12

  Raiden

  It was Thursday, and I still hadn’t gotten the paid deposit from Blair, which meant I was starting to worry. Had she changed her mind on the bookshelves? Had something happened that meant she’d chosen to go with someone else? Kissing her had been a mistake, maybe, but I still didn’t really think so.

  I still thought it had been the right choice. At least, at the time, it had felt right and good and wonderful, and I had enjoyed it. I’d liked kissing her.

  My assistant knocked on my door, and I looked up.

  “What’s up, Ida?” I had four different projects to bill, organize, plan, and schedule that morning for both myself and my team. I didn’t exactly have a lot of time to waste chatting, but Ida was essential. She was one who made sure I showed up on time, got my messages, and actually left the office once in awhile.

  “I have to start by apologizing,” she said. “You asked me the other day about invoicing, and I told you we didn’t have anything.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  She held up a little piece of paper and a check.

  “Miss Blair Hopper stopped by the other day to pay her deposit. I meant to set it on your desk, but I set it on mine, and then something was placed on top of it, and...” She shook her head. “I’m really sorry.”

  “It’s okay, Ida,” I took the invoice.

  “There was something else,” she said.

  “What is it?”

  Ida held up a familiar pair of shoes, and I choked back a laugh. That was thoughtful. Apparently, Blair was more kind-hearted than she let on. She’d gone out of her way to make sure that I not only had the deposit for her shelves, but that I had my shoes, too.

  “Thank you, Ida.”

  After a few more muffled apologies, Ida took off. I figured she was just happy that I didn’t yell at her. Yelling at people never accomplished anything, in my opinion. It definitely didn’t accomplish anything you wanted accomplished. Besides, finding out that Blair had come by was a relief.

  It meant we could move forward, and I’d get to see her again, and maybe I’d even have a second chance to talk with her.

  The truth was that I couldn’t get her off my mind. There was zero way I could get her out of my head. She was kind and interesting and funny. Yeah, she hadn’t exactly been up front about her job field or anything like that, but we could get to that later.

  What mattered most was the fact that she’d given me the go-ahead to start moving forward, and I’d have the chance to work with her on her house.

  I went over the rest of my invoices and finished my paperwork for the day, and mid-afternoon, I finally had a chance to call her. She answered on the first ring. Instantly, I knew something was wrong.

  “Blair? Are you okay?”

  “I’m totally fine,” she said. She sniffled. Then, “I’m glad you called.”

  “You sound like you’ve been crying.”

  “Nope.”

  A lie.

  Shit.

  Why was she doing this again?

  Was the girl incapable of telling me the truth?

  “Blair, try again,” I said. That time, I put my Dom voice on. Nobody could resist that. I had half a mind to drive to her place and give her that spanking she had been asking about, but I knew that wasn’t really appropriate. It wasn’t the time or the place for something like that.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “It was just a long day.”

  Seriously?

  It was just after lunch. What could have possibly happened so early in the day to make sweet Blair totally break down?

  “What’s up, Raiden?” I could tell she was trying to past on a smile, and it just made my heart hurt.

  “I got your invoice,” I said. “I’m sorry for the delay. My assistant misplaced it, so I just saw it this morning.”

  “It’s okay,” she said.

  “It’s not okay. I hope you weren’t worried.”

  “A little,” she said. “I thought maybe you’d changed your mind.”

  “I hadn’t.”

  “Okay.”

  “Blair?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m coming over.”

  “To talk about the project? My house is a little messy, but if you’re in a rush, I guess it’s okay.” She sounded nervous now, but no longer sad, and I pictured her looking around her house to decide if it was clean enough to entertain guests.

  I chuckled.

  “Not about the project,” I said. “About you.” I wanted to see where we were at. I wanted to talk to her. We’d gotten off on the wrong foot several times over, and I was ready to talk to her face-to-face and settle the score. I wanted her. I wanted to give this thing between us a try. There was something there. I could feel it, and I knew she could, too.

  “Me?” Her voice was a squeak.

  “Yeah.”

  Hesitation again.

  Then a sigh.

  “Listen, Raiden, there’s some stuff you need to know about me. You can come over, but...it’ll just be to talk, okay?”

  “You mean I can’t pull you over my knee and paddle you?” I joked, feeling a little lighthearted at the idea of getting to see her.

  A hesitation again.

  “When I’m done telling you this, you might want to,” she said.

  Chapter 13

  Blair

  Heather and Tanya had played hardball, but they’d also given it to me straight: Raiden was their friend. I could be honest with him and tell him that not only was I writer, but I was a writer drafting a BDSM story, or they would.

  Those were the options.

  They gave me until Saturday night. If I hadn’t told him by then, they would share that information with him at the club, they said. Neither one of them had cared about the fact that I was a writer. They hadn’t cared that I wanted inspiration from the club. They didn’t care about anything except for the fact that I hadn’t told Raiden I was a writer.

  “It’s a big part of who you are,” Tanya had said. “You’re keeping that from him, and he’s going to feel tricked.”

  That had been what worried them both the most: that he might feel wrong by me, or tricked, or betrayed. They worried that he was going to feel like I’d only come to the club to sneakily get information out of people.

  “This isn’t going to be some big dramatic event,” Heather warned me. “You’re going to be honest with him. He’ll give you a chance, but you have to start off right. Don’t keep this from him.”

  Now he was on his way. I’d been wringing my hands, worried about how I was going to approach him. After all, he hadn’t called me and scheduled any follow-up visits. He hadn’t called to set a day when we could start the work...

  Nothing.

  And yet, there we were.

  When his truck pulled into space in front of my house, I watched as he got out of the vehicle and strode confidently up to the door. I opened it before he could even knock, and he pushed his way inside, grabbed me, and pulled me into a tight hug.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t call,” he said.

  “It’s okay.”

  “I thought you didn’t want me around,” he told me. “I thought not paying your deposit was your way of getting rid of me. I didn’t want to push.”

  Shit.

  I’d made him feel bad.

  Here I’d thought he was the one avoiding me, when it had really been just one big, messy misunderstanding. Apparently, there really was a decent reason for wanting kink to be communication-based. Without it, you could miss out on a lot, including a lot of good stuff.