‘You don’t remember anything about me?’

  You shake your head.

  Waller sighs. ‘I can’t get my head around that, I really can’t.’

  ‘So tell me. Are you a cop?’

  ‘I’m secret service,’ he says. ‘MI5. A spook, if you like.’

  ‘So you’re now arresting me?’

  ‘MI5 doesn’t arrest people, Rob. And why would I arrest you? You’ve been working for me for almost three years.’

  You frown. ‘So I’m an MI5 agent?’

  He shakes his head. ‘No, you’re a police officer. A cop. An inspector with the National Crime Agency.’

  ‘That’s not possible.’

  ‘Why do you say that?’

  ‘The cops took my DNA and fingerprints at the hospital. If I was a cop, they’d have had a match. But they didn’t. My DNA and fingerprints aren’t on file.’

  He sips his wine. ‘You’re a very special sort of cop, Rob. For the last three years you’ve been working undercover, initially for the NCA and then for us.’

  ‘I’m an undercover cop?’ You shake your head in disbelief. ‘That’s just not possible.’

  He smiles. ‘As I said, you’re a very special sort of cop. You trained as a forensic accountant in the private sector but you were headhunted by the NCA to work in their fraud department. You were fast-tracked in as an inspector, and you never walked a beat or handed out speeding tickets. After about a year of doing forensic accounting for the NCA, they decided to go more pro-active and use you undercover. They set you up with your own firm offering financial advice to high net worth individuals. And the fact that you spoke Russian meant that you appealed to Russian clients.’

  You nod. ‘I discovered that I speak Russian.’

  ‘Fluently,’ says Waller. ‘Your mother was Russian.’

  ‘Is she still alive?’

  ‘I’m sorry, no. She passed away while you were at university. Cancer. Your father died a few years later. Also cancer.’

  You nod. So you’re an orphan. There’s no feeling of sadness, no sense of loss. You don’t even know what they looked like. It’s as if they never existed.

  ‘This must be awful for you,’ says Waller. ‘You’re hearing this for the first time so it’s as if it only just happened. Emotions that you dealt with in the past must be resurfacing.’

  ‘Not really. I mean, I hear what you’re saying and I’m filing the information away, but it doesn’t mean anything to me emotionally. There’s no sense of loss because I have no memories of them at all. It’s the same with my wife and children. I saw the photographs in the house so I know what they looked like, but I have no memories of being with them.’

  ‘Because they don’t exist, Rob.’

  ‘No, I get that they’re dead. But I have no memories of meeting my wife, I can’t remember proposing to her or getting married, I can’t remember our kids being born. There’s nothing. Not a single memory.’

  Waller holds up a hand. ‘No, I mean they really never existed. You never had a family. They were a part of your legend. Your cover. The NCA put together a whole backstory for you, including a deceased family.’

  Your jaw drops as you struggle to understand what you’re hearing. ‘So I was never married?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘And no kids?’

  He shakes his head. ‘No.’

  ‘So am I actually Robert Johnston?’

  ‘No. That’s your cover name.’

  ‘But you call me Rob.’

  ‘You insisted on it, right from the start. You said it was important that you always reacted to the cover name so you became Rob Johnston. You stopped answering to your real name.’

  ‘Which is?’

  ‘Phil. Phillip Dodds.’

  You can’t stop yourself from grinning. ‘My name is Phil?’

  ‘Your name is Phil but you told me never to use it with you. You said I was always to refer to you by your cover name. Your NCA colleagues did the same.’ He frowns. ‘Why does that seem to amuse you?’

  ‘There was a nurse at the hospital who called me Phil. She said I looked like a Phil.’

  ‘Maybe you do,’ says Waller. ‘But you said you wanted to get out of the habit of reacting to your real name. And you were right. Reacting to the wrong name when you’re undercover can be fatal, especially when you’re dealing with the Russian mafia.’

  ‘And that’s what I was doing? Working with the Russian mafia?’

  ‘Some of them are mafia. Some of your clients are regular Russians. Business took off when Putin invaded Ukraine. Wealthy Russians were desperate to get their kids out of the country before they were drafted and that meant getting money out to support them. Word that you were able to get funds out of Russia without the authorities knowing soon spread and that’s when the oligarchs started to get interested. At that point the NCA realised that their operation was growing like topsy and they reached out to us.’

  ‘So what was I doing?’

  ‘Basically moving money. Lots of it. Using offshore accounts, crypto currencies, Hawala transfers, whatever it took. We were particularly interested in the pro-Putin oligarchs who were using you to get around sanctions. We were almost ready to start prosecuting them when you had your accident. Our first thought when we heard about the car crash was that you were the body in the boot so it was something of a relief to discover that you are alive and well. And you really can’t remember anything?’

  ‘Nothing since the crash.’

  ‘And you definitely don’t remember me?’

  You shake your head. ‘Nope.’

  ‘But the lady who has been helping you? The nurse? You remember her?’

  ‘I remember everything that happened since I woke up from the coma. I don’t have a problem forming new memories. When I went back to the house in Beckenham it felt familiar but I have no memories of being there.’

  ‘That’s not good.’

  ‘The doctors say that it should return, but so far it hasn’t.’

  Waller rubs his chin thoughtfully. ‘Maybe we could do something to jog your memory.’

  ‘Such as?’

  ‘Many of our initial interviews were recorded at Thames House. We had an operations room there and you visited several times.’

  ‘Thames House?’

  ‘MI5’s headquarters, by the river. I’m going to suggest that we go there now. Visiting the building might help with your memory issues, and I could show you the interviews we recorded.’

  ‘Why was I recorded?’ you ask. ‘Isn’t that something you do with criminals?’

  ‘Some of the material you had was complex and frankly at times I had trouble following you. By recording the interviews we made sure that nothing could be misinterpreted.’

  His eyes tighten a fraction and you suspect there’s something that he’s not telling you, and then realisation dawns. ‘Also you’d have it on record if something happened to me.’

  Waller smiles. ‘These are very dangerous people that you are - were - dealing with, as you’ve discovered. So yes, there was an element of needing it on the record.’

  ‘Was the plan for me to give evidence in court?’

  ‘We were hoping to avoid that. To be honest, the exercise was more about seizing their funds than putting them in the dock.’ He smiles. ‘Anyway, what we have to do is get your memory back so that we can tie the investigation up.’ He looks at his watch. ‘We can drive to Thames House now. We’ll run through a few tapes and see if it helps.’

  CHAPTER 31

  You look around as you walk into the reception area of Thames House with Waller but nothing feels familiar. You have to go through a security check and as part of the process you have to put your right hand on a scanner and when you do you get a green light and your photograph flashes up. You’re given a card with your photograph and the word VISITOR attached to a black lanyard. The fact that they have your prints and picture on file is proof that you’ve been there before but you recognise nothing.

  Waller takes you up to the third floor in a lift and along a grey corridor to a windowless room which has nine large monitors on one wall, two work pods with triple screens, and two small sofas either side of a coffee table. A young blonde woman in a grey suit is sitting in one of the pods. ‘Can I get you a tea? A coffee?’ Waller asks.

  ‘Sure, yes. A coffee.’ He looks over at the girl in the work pod. ‘Laura, can I get you something?’

  ‘An iced Americano would hit the spot, Martin.’

  ‘Do me a favour and run the initial interview video by Rob, will you?’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘I’ll leave you in Laura’s capable hands,’ says Waller and he heads for the door.

  You go over to the work pod. Laura is in her late twenties, her blonde hair is tied back in a ponytail and she has a sprinkling of freckles across a button nose. You hold out your hand. ‘I’m Rob,’ you say.

  She smiles and shakes your hand. ‘Actually we’ve already met,’ she says. ‘We both went to Reading University. Different years, obviously.’

  ‘I went to Reading University?’ you say. ‘What did I study?’

  ‘Economics,’ she says. ‘Followed by a Masters in Financial Risk Management.’ She frowns. ‘Is that part of your memory loss? You can’t remember going to university?’

  ‘I can’t remember anything before the accident.’

  ‘That’s awful.’

  ‘Tell me about it. Anyway, pleased to meet you again.’

  ‘Why don’t you sit down and I’ll run the video of the first taped interview. It’s from three years ago. It was your first visit to Thames House.’ She gestures at one of the sofas and you sit down as she taps on her keyboard.

  A CCTV image fills one of the monitors on the wall. It’s you, sitting at a table. Across from you is Waller, at least you assume it’s him because you can only see his back. There’s a blonde woman sitting next to him and again you assume it’s Laura. There’s a time and date stamp running along the bottom, with MI5’s logo with a winged mythical beast - half winged lion, half fish - at the centre. For some reason you know that the beast represents the service’s association with the UK’s armed forces - the lion’s head represents the British Army, the fish’s body represents the Royal Navy and the wings represent the Royal Air Force. It feels so strange that you can remember so much detail about a logo while having no recollection of ever being interviewed by Waller and Laura.

  It’s definitely you on screen. You’re wearing a dark blue suit and a light blue shirt with a yellow tie. There’s a bottle of Evian water by your right hand. You can’t quite hear what you’re saying but then Laura boosts the volume and your voice fills the room. ‘So the platforms we usually use for crypto are Coinbase, Binance and Kraken. Coinbase is like the Apple of crypto exchanges, very user friendly and generally safe. Binance has lower fees but the guys we’re generally dealing with aren’t pinching pennies. My personal favourite is Kraken, mainly because of its enhanced security. They recently acquired NinjaTrader which is a US futures trading platform which allows us to move money through crypto into futures and derivatives.’

  You’re speaking quickly and with authority, and it’s clear you know what you’re talking about.

  Waller asks you a string of questions and you answer them quickly and with authority. Everything you say makes sense to you. You do know about cryptocurrencies and futures and derivatives and as you listen to the recording more detail comes to mind. For a brief moment you think that your memory is returning but then you try to remember your childhood and your university days but you draw a complete blank.

  The on-screen Waller starts passing photographs to you. There are a dozen or so and he asks you which of the men you have personally met. You divide the photographs into two piles. You tap one of the piles and say that you have had meetings with all of them. Waller discards the other pile and then spreads the remaining pictures across the desk. He asks you to identify the men and you do. They are all Russians. Waller asks you to run through the financial dealings you have had with them and one by one you pick up the photographs and describe how you have moved money for them, through offshore trusts in the Cayman Islands. Liechtenstein, Belize and the Cook Islands, controlled by holding companies in Luxembourg and the Netherlands. You do it all without referring to notes. It’s clear you have a phenomenal memory which makes it all the more frustrating that you have absolutely no recollection of having had the conversation.

  The ‘you’ on the monitor is still in full flow when Waller returns with a tray. He takes it over to the sofa and places it gently on the table. There are two hot coffees and an iced Americano, and a selection of Danish pastries and muffins. He carries the iced coffee over to Laura who takes it and thanks him.

  You pick up one of the hot coffees and sip it carefully. It tastes bitter so you open a sachet of sugar and stir it in.

  ‘Ah, so you have a sweet tooth,’ says Waller as he drops down next to you on the sofa.

  ‘Apparently.’

  ‘So that feels like the first cup of coffee you’ve ever drunk?’

  ‘No, I’ve had several coffees since I woke up from the coma. So I know what it tastes like. But I have no memory of ever drinking coffee before the car crash.’

  ‘So everything you eat and drink, it’s like the first time?’

  You nod again. ‘I thought I might be vegetarian but my fridge is full of meat.’

  Waller frowns. ‘Why did you think you might be a vegetarian?’

  ‘When I was in the hospital, a nurse was asking me what I wanted to eat and I didn’t know how to answer. She asked me if I was a vegetarian and I said that I didn’t know so she brought me a cheese omelette and I enjoyed it.’ You shrug. ‘But when I opened my fridge there were steaks, chops, sausages and bacon, so I’m definitely a carnivore.’

  ‘But you don’t know if you eat your steak rare, medium or well done?’

  ‘That’s right. I think I vaguely know what steak tastes like but I have no memory of having eaten one.’

  He gestures at the screen. ‘And the interview?’

  ‘That’s definitely me, and everything that I’m saying resonates. I know what I’m saying is true.’ You tap the side of your head. ‘That information is in here, but I don’t remember that interview. It’s a very strange feeling seeing and hearing myself, because I don’t remember that meeting at all, but all the information I’m giving you is definitely true. Crypto, offshore trusts, holding companies, I still have all that information.’

  ‘Is watching the interview helping?’

  ‘Not really, no. And I keep thinking about what one of the doctors said. I have to be careful not to create false memories.’

  Waller frowns. ‘False memories?’ he repeats.

  ‘Maybe false is the wrong word. But suppose you tell me my date of birth. I’ll remember it from that point on because I have no problems creating new memories. So at any point in the future if I’m asked for my date of birth, I can answer. But it’s a new memory, not a recovered one.’ I gesture at Laura. ‘Laura has just told me that we were both at Reading University and that I studied Economics and that I have a Masters in Financial Risk Management. So now I can tell anyone who asks where I went to university and what I studied. But I have no recollection of actually being there.’ You gesture at the screen. ‘I’m watching this, and as I watch it I’m committing it to memory. I’ll be able to remember what I said to you, and I’ll remember everything you said to me. But that’s not me remembering what happened back then, I’m just remembering the video. That’s not the same thing. My worry is that by creating new memories from information I’m given now might stop the old memories from returning.’

  ‘Did the doctors say that would happen?’

  ‘No, not really. But they don’t seem to understand what’s happening to me, anyway.’ You sigh. ‘I just want my memory back.’

  ‘We all do,’ says Waller. ‘Until you get your memory back, our entire investigation is on hold.’

  ‘You must have records, surely?’

  Waller nods. ‘We do. But most of the accounts we were looking at are now blocked. The big ones, anyway. And a major part of our investigation was to recover the funds, both from the criminal gangs you were working with, and the Putin-friendly oligarchs. Until we can get access to the accounts again, we’re just treading water.’

  ‘You’re thinking that I locked the accounts?’

  ‘I’m sure of it. They clearly knew what they were doing. They weren’t in your house to steal jewellery or paintings, and they didn’t even look in your safe. They went straight to your computer.’

  You nod. ‘They wanted me to transfer the money to their accounts.’

  Waller frowns. ‘You remember that?’

  ‘No, that’s what the woman called Maggie told me. She said I was there to force Robert Johnston to transfer the money. She said that I had given him the account numbers and that he had done the transfers, but that there had been a struggle and I’d shot him. The money hadn’t been transferred but we had to get out of there before the cops turned up.

  ‘But you are Rob Johnston. You were the one being robbed.’

  ‘I think she felt that if she told me who I was and that she was the one robbing me, that I wouldn’t cooperate. But if I thought I was one of the thieves, I’d help her get the money.’

  ‘This is a total head trip,’ says Waller. ‘It sounds as if you pretended to cooperate but in fact were locking up the accounts. They realised what was happening and threatened to shoot you, you fought back and one of their team was shot. I guess their plan was to force you to access the accounts remotely but the crash put paid to that. Once they realised that you had lost your memory, they had to spin the line that you’re one of them.’

  ‘Do you know who they are?’

  Waller shakes his head. ‘We’ve spoken to the SIO and they’re no nearer identifying the woman who called herself Maggie or the man that was also in the car with you. They have ID’d the body in the boot of your car. He’s a career criminal and an alarms expert. They’re sending his details over. What about the Russians who tortured you?’