Lady Kilbourne was present when Selina was teasing Malcolm about his cousin, and she added her bit as well. “I do not know why Malcolm pretended to be superior in that regard. One of his uncles was sent away with a keeper to a remote Cornwall property because he was always inebriated. Any attempt to sober him up always failed, and when he appeared at a dinner party having forgotten that he was—underdressed for the occasion, if you catch my meaning, we gave up on him altogether. He quite happily drank himself to death, although Lord Kilbourne did insist that we visit him twice a year before he died. That was quite unpleasant, I can assure you. He was unused to feminine company and was always overly affectionate in his dealings with me. And he insisted on calling me Kitty, no matter how many times I explained to him that was not my name.”

  “You are making that up,” Malcolm said to his mother.

  Lady Kilbourne looked surprised. “Indeed I am not. You were three when he died, so of course you would not remember him. And he is not the kind of relative one brags about.” Lady Kilbourne turned to address Selina who was struggling to keep from giggling. “My dear, it is not too late to reconsider. You have yet to meet your future sister-in-law, you know.”

  “I thank you for your concern, ma’am, but I am not so fastidious as Malcolm.”

  “And it is a good thing, too,” Lady Kilbourne said. “You might not have consented to marry him if you had been.”

  Malcolm looked at his mother reproachfully. “Are you quite finished tearing my character to shreds in front of my fiancé? Or do you have any of my childish misdeeds you’d like to bring to her attention?”

  “I am sure you have Selina telling you a thousand times a day how wonderful you are. It does you no harm to hear otherwise,” Lady Kilbourne told her son.

  “Well, she’s only told me about nine hundred times today, so if you would give us a little privacy I’m due to hear more,” Malcolm said to his mother, motioning her toward the door.

  Lady Kilbourne rose from where she’d been sitting, saying if her company was so unwelcome she would go in search of Lord Kilbourne. “Because he has yet to tell me even once today how wonderful I am,” she said, on her way out of the room.

  Malcolm barely waited for her to exit before scooping Selina into his arms and twirling her around the room. “Jeremy,” Selina protested breathlessly. “What are you doing?”

  Malcolm did not answer her, but kissed her instead, until she was even more breathless. “My mother was right, you know. If you had any sense at all you would realize you could do much better than me. I don’t even meet the qualifications on my own list.”

  “Do you mean you have vulgar relations and that you have no musical talent?” Selina asked, wide-eyed. “We must call off the wedding immediately.”

  “I would not say I have no musical talent,” Malcolm said.

  “Well, you may not say so, but I heard you sing at church yesterday,” Selina said.

  “Wretch,” Malcolm said, and hugged her tighter. “Perhaps I should not have mentioned the list after all.”

  “No, it is good that I know what I am getting into before we are irrevocably tied. I am beginning to see the value in these lists of yours,” Selina said, drawing away from Malcolm and looking thoughtful.

  “The whole thing was a horrid idea,” Malcolm said, trying to pull Selina back into his arms.

  “But I would really like to know what you think of the Corn Laws,” Selina said, her expression solemn, but with laughter lurking in her eyes. “I have begun to realize that you are not serious enough, which augurs an unsteadiness of character.”

  “You have been speaking to Cassie,” Malcolm said. “Has every stupid thing I’ve said or done been announced to the entire world?”

  “Perhaps I can borrow the list Julia gave you while pretending to be me,” Selina said, ignoring Malcolm’s remark. “You would not still happen to have a copy, would you?”

  “My dear girl,” Malcolm said, beginning to look fierce, “I am done with all lists but one. It is a list of things that need to be done, and at the present moment there is one item that heads the list. Unfortunately, it has to wait until our wedding night.”

  Selina smiled up at Malcolm. “That sounds like your most interesting list yet.”

  The End

  Suzanne Allain was never sure what she wanted to be when she grew up, and she’s still trying to decide. She’s worked in the computer and travel industry, as an editor and publisher, and as an assistant photographer. She also occasionally finds time to write. To find out what she’s doing now, please visit www.suzanneallain.com.

 

 

  Suzanne Allain, Mr. Malcolm's List

 

 

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