“I’m going to miss you so much,” she muttered before realizing she had spoken her silent thoughts.

  His hands moved to grip her cheeks, so he could see in her eyes. “I’m going to miss you, too.”

  Zoe’s eyes moistened as she nodded, kissing him once again. She picked up her pace as their impassioned kiss overwhelmed them both. She couldn’t and wouldn’t address the huge elephant in the room, the one that said this is it. No more excitement. No more passion. No more Masen. She felt the wetness on her cheeks but refused to acknowledge it. Instead, she continued to make love to the man she clearly would never get over.

  ~*~

  They had been exploring the cove for a while now and were in an area that was almost completely enclosed. The water beat down on the sand in a steady rhythm, sweeping against the rocks that surrounded them. It was stunning. She stepped ahead of him slightly toward the mouth of the cove to get a closer look at the water. Suddenly, he yelled for her to stop. She turned to see what was going on and he was already snapping pictures of her. She covered her face and turned quickly. It was the end of the day; her hair was a mess and she was wearing only a pair of jean shorts with her bathing suit top. Definitely not picture ready.

  “Zoe, baby, please. The lighting is perfect right now.”

  “Why don’t you let me take your picture then?” She asked glancing at him.

  He laughed. “Baby, no one touches this camera.”

  Zoe rolled her eyes as he held his Leica to his chest. She had been schooled this morning, in extensive detail, the differences between Masen’s Nikon and his Leica, when she had mistakenly told him to just grab one, it didn’t matter. Zoe had learned quickly that Masen took his cameras very seriously.

  “Zoe, please,” he said much softer.

  She frowned for a second and then took a couple of steps further. The wind blew her hair back as a lone tear slipped down her cheek. She wiped it away and looked over her shoulder, giving him an expression that reflected the seriousness of the situation. The depth of her feelings for him and the sadness she was experiencing in that very moment, knowing they would not be together. He snapped a few shots and brought his camera down, letting it fall against his chest. In four long strides he was in front of her, sweeping his hand underneath her hair and tilting her head back as he kissed her with passion.

  “It’s getting late, Masen. Let’s go back to the cabin,” she whispered against him.

  He nodded and took her hand in his as they left the small enclosure. His heart was aching and he sensed hers was as well. It had never been difficult to end the flings he had before meeting Zoe. It shocked him that he was so melancholy about this one ending.

  “I’ll get dinner ready,” she smiled as they entered the cabin.

  He nodded and watched her. “How about we take a walk on the beach first.”

  She stopped and turned to him. “Let me… change first.”

  “You’re beautiful right now but sure.”

  “I feel dirty,” she said scrunching her brows.

  He laughed. “I like dirty.”

  She shook her head and laughed as she went into the other room and changed into one of the island skirts that she had picked up while shopping with Summer. When she came out of the room he sighed and smiled simultaneously.

  “Come on, beautiful,” he said, reaching out his hand to her.

  The sun was slowly disappearing below the horizon. There was just a small sliver that still appeared tinting the remaining sky amber and purple, a beautiful array of colors that uplifted the mind and body. The birds were long gone, retired for the evening, leaving only the sounds of the waves rolling onto the shore, dark and mysterious, yet lovely and inviting. The night breeze gently lifted and dropped Zoe’s skirt as she and Masen walked hand in hand along the shore, unable to speak about tomorrow but unable to stop thinking about it.

  “Zoe,” Masen stated, clearing his throat.

  “Yes,” she replied, looking up at him.

  “What’s, ummm,” his free hand ran though his hair as he breathed in deeply.

  “What’s, what?” Zoe stopped walking, curious.

  “Can I ask you what your last name is?”

  Zoe smirked and started walking again. “Sure. It’s Macintosh, Zoe Macintosh.”

  “That’s really pretty. It fits you.”

  “Well, thank you,” Zoe giggled and curtsied.

  He grinned before continuing. “What do you do in New York?”

  She tilted her head to the side, confused with this line of questioning as he had avoided all talk about personal information. In fact, she remembered him specifically saying to her that they shouldn’t know very much about each other. She had agreed, thinking that might make it easier when they parted ways. She wasn’t so sure about that anymore. She smiled and swung their connected hands as they continued their trek along the shore.

  “I work as a receptionist at Webster, Inc.”

  He chuckled. “You do, huh?”

  “Yeah,” she gave him a curious look. “Do you know of them?”

  His brows furrowed for a moment as he debated once again whether he would or should tell her who he was, more specifically who his family was. His primary concern was that if he didn’t he could end up pursuing her only to find out she wanted nothing to do with him because of his family. He glanced down at her curious face and smiled reassuringly, not wanting her on edge.

  “My family has an account with them.”

  “Really? Wow! What a small world. What’s their name? Maybe I know them.”

  “My, umm, my family is,” he took a deep breath. “My father is Rodrigo Pelletier.”

  Zoe stopped moving and glanced up at him, her eyes wide and mouth agape. Rodrigo Pelletier was an entrepreneur who, although no one could prove beyond a reasonable doubt, was clearly connected to the Mancini crime family. From what Zoe recalled, he seemed to mostly dabble in sky rises and other construction. It was well known that if anyone opposed him they often had ‘changes of heart’ or disappeared altogether. Zoe had suspicions that Mr. Pelletier was laundering money for the mob or worse, using his construction sites to hide people, dead people. She had often worried that the Webster’s were involved in some way, as Mr. Pelletier’s account was their most prestigious. Summer had laughed when Zoe told her about her theories and advised Zoe that she’d seen way too many mob movies. Zoe wasn’t convinced though. She was wracking her mind trying to recall if Mr. Pelletier had children. She never saw one mentioned but then he could have kept them out of the press. She was having a difficult time trying to imagine Masen a part of that family. He seemed like the complete opposite of them.

  “Zoe,” Masen questioned.

  Zoe blinked and tried to get her composure. “I’ve never seen anything mentioned about Mr. Pelletier having a son. How can that be?”

  “My mother sent me to a boarding school in Boston when I was eleven. She never wanted me around any of it. She didn’t know who my father worked for before they were married and once I was born she wouldn’t leave him. My mother had family in California, so when I was fourteen I left Boston and moved to Malibu. That’s where I discovered photography and where I learned to surf.”

  He squeezed her hand and started walking again. He could sense something different about Zoe and was starting to worry about her response. In truth, Zoe was overwhelmed. In her mind all she could see was Masen the surfer, the photographer. She couldn’t consolidate this new information. Her father would have a coronary if he found out that the man his daughter loved was connected to the mob. She gasped slightly at that last thought. Did she love him?

  “I know my father’s reputation and I’m not like him, Zoe. I swear to you I’m not.”

  “I know you aren’t.”

  He stopped walking and pulled her close to him. “I’ve never told anyone before. I wanted it to be you.”

  She smiled and leaned up on her tip toes to kiss him. “I’m glad you did.”

  “But,” he let the word linger in the air.

  Zoe sighed and dropped her feet. There’s always a ‘but’, she thought to herself. She looked down and frowned, waiting for what else he was going to say. Trying to figure out in her head how much worse it could be. He brought his finger under her chin and forced her to look up at him. This was the hard part for him. The part he never did.

  “But, I really like you, Zoe. You’re different than anyone I’ve ever been with. I’ll be moving back to New York to start working with my father and umm, I thought maybe we could see each other while I’m there.”

  “Masen,” she scrunched her brows.

  As much as Zoe was excited at the prospect of continuing a relationship with him, his family scared the crap out of her. Is that what she wanted? To be connected to the mob? What if things didn’t work, would they kill her for knowing too much? Do they do those things still? With a heavy heart she let out a hesitant sigh.

  “I’m really sorry, Masen, but I don’t think we should see each other again,” she finally said, looking up at him. “I just can’t be tied to the mob. I know that it’s not you per se but what your father does.” She shook her head. “I don’t want that kind of lifestyle.”

  He nodded and gave her a small smile as he turned them around so they could start walking back toward his cabin. He needed to get his bearings again. He had hoped for a different response but he understood her reasoning. He just didn’t like it. Deep down he knew she was right but that didn’t stop the pain her response inflicted on his heart. He brought her hand up and lightly kissed her wrist. She turned to him and he could see her unease. He smiled and moved a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

  “I wish I had my camera to capture just how beautiful you look right now,” he stated, trying to change the subject.

  Zoe crinkled her nose, embarrassed and then nudged him. “We’ll have to do a selfie together because months down the road, I’ll think this whole thing was a dream.”

  He stopped and leaned down, kissing her. He didn’t want to think about what it would be like months from now. He would be in New York working with his father. Would she be with some other guy, settling down, getting married, and having children? He sighed as he kissed her harder. He would not think of that. They still had tonight. He was going to make sure that she never forgot the time she spent with him.

  15 So this is Goodbye

  “M ore, oh God, more,” Zoe screamed out, arching her hips against his relentless assault.

  He grunted loudly, his breath labored as he continued to pound into her. They had been going at it most of the night. In truth, Masen was exhausted and could barely move but when he woke up, after only sleeping for a mere three hours, to her stroking him, there was no way that he would tell her no. Not when his flight left in just four short hours. Every minute counted.

  “Masen,” Zoe moaned out as she bucked her hips against his.

  She couldn’t get enough of him. She had spent the few hours of sleep she had gotten dreaming about him, or the lack of him, to be exact. But, she knew that as amazing as Masen was, the prospect of being a mob moll was not something she envisioned for her life.

  “Zoe,” he whispered reverently.

  She looked up at him and breathed out a gasp. His eyes were closed, scrunched together tightly, causing his brows to furrow. His perfect lips were parted as he panted from exertion. His expression was that of complete determination. His long hair fell forward, the tips dripping with sweat and moving with every thrust he made. He was a vision. He was the epitome of passion and desire. Someone she knew she would not easily get over.

  His eyes shot open, feeling the weight of her stare. They watched one another, saying with their eyes what their hearts and mouths refused to admit. Masen brought his lips to hers; afraid he would say something he shouldn’t. Something he’d never said to anyone. Something he couldn’t say. Instead, he grabbed her legs, drawing them onto his shoulders, feeling her lock her ankles behind him. He hissed as he broke contact with her mouth to see their connection with one another. He pulled back, getting on his knees to better his position.

  “Masen …” Zoe’s words died out as she swallowed thickly.

  Masen reached down and grabbed her breasts in his hands, roughly rolling her nipples between his fingers, all the while pumping his hips rhythmically against her. Unsure what to do with her hands, she reached up and fisted his hair while her other hand found its way to where they were joined.

  “Now, baby, I can’t hold off,” he grunted.

  Zoe screamed as she arched and bucked her hips. Her orgasm washed over her, sending her body into a fit of ecstatic frenzy. Masen hissed out a string of expletives as she tightened around him. He forced himself deep inside her, pushing and grunting until his release finally came. When his body came down to earth, he dropped her legs. His breath labored, as he fell on top of her. After a moment, he rolled to the side and entwined himself with her.

  “That was,” he blew out a heavy breath, trying to control the exhilaration he felt. “I’m never gonna forget it,” he muttered into her hair.

  “I’ll never forget any of this,” Zoe replied against his chest, feeling the rapid cadence of his heart.

  He exhaled and ran his fingers through her now messy and wild hair. He kissed the top of her head longingly, letting his mouth linger while he contemplated his next words to her. He was at a standstill. He didn’t want to broach the inevitable topic of goodbye as he wasn’t sure what exactly he was supposed to do. Generally, at this point he would have already taken the woman he was with back to where ever she was staying and then he would come back, pack and get all his things together in peace, without any awkwardness. With Zoe though, he hadn’t wanted to let her go and now it was too late. He couldn’t drop her off and then get back in time to pack and still make it to the airport.

  “Maybe we should go shower,” Zoe stated, sensing his unease.

  “Do you want to shower with me?” he asked, letting his hands move over her back.

  “If you promise to be good. I don’t think my lady bits can survive another pounding,” she said flatly.

  Masen jerked back and lifted her head up; worried that maybe he had actually hurt her, only to find her smirking. He slapped her ass and arched his brow while she held her satisfied and cocky smile.

  “For the record, you initiated that last pounding. I just finished what you started.”

  “Mmmm, and finish you did,” Zoe purred, twisting her fingers into his hair.

  He smiled as their lips touched once again. Their hands moving along each other’s bodies while they kissed deeply. He was filled with a great deal of confusion. Realizing that he would really miss her and recognizing just how shallow his life had been. He had never given a thought to what the women he had been with felt after their time together was done. Did they have doubts or regrets? Did they still think of him? Did they wish for more? Did they not want it to end? He would know soon enough it seemed. As it appeared he would be searching for answers to these very questions in his own head later today.

  She pulled away, a sad smile on her face. “Let’s shower.”

  He nodded and smiled. “Come on.”

  He led her to the bathroom. In the time they spent together they hadn’t showered with one another. It just wasn’t something he normally did. He liked the solitude. It was a separation of sorts with the women he was with. Showering felt intimate. Too intimate to do with just anyone. Of course, Zoe wasn’t just anyone.

  ~*~

  Zoe walked to the desk that housed his camera and equipment but was careful not to touch anything as he hadn’t packed it up yet. She could hear him in the other room, gathering his clothes and toiletry items. She picked up a picture of her near some of the cliffs not far from the cabin. They had explored them yesterday and he had taken several pictures. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, desperate to fight back the tears that were trying to come out. She would hold them back. She had to. It was the only way she could survive this goodbye.

  “It’s an amazing picture,” Masen said, coming up behind her. “You’re very photogenic.”

  Zoe swallowed her tears. “You were right. The lighting was perfect.” She turned to look at him. “You are so good at this, Masen.”

  He smiled and kissed her temple. “Would you like to take a couple of the pictures with you?”

  “Really?” she asked, glancing up at him.

  He nodded. “Sure, I mean, if you want to, that is.” He laughed uneasily. “You don’t have to.”

  “Thank you, Masen,” she said, biting her lip. “I would like to take a couple.”

  “Take as many as you’d like.”

  He kissed her forehead and breathed in deeply before he began to pack up his computer, printer and cameras in their respective cases and then placed them in a large rolling duffle bag. Zoe turned to the pictures and selected four of them: the one she had just been holding, two of lighthouse beach, and one of surfer’s beach. She then stepped out of the way, slipping the pictures into her bag, while he finished packing everything. Last, but not least, was his surfboard. He brought out a large black bag, laying it on the ground and unzipping it. Zoe walked over, curious, and could see that the bag was padded on the inside.

  “I didn’t know they made stuff like that.”

  He laughed. “Yes, you’d be amazed.” He got a reflective look on his face. “My board is very special to me. I’ve had it a long time. This will protect it on the flight.”

  Zoe grinned. “Well, can I take a picture of you and your board?”

  He rolled his eyes and when Zoe gave him the bitch brow, he was now becoming accustomed too, he sat back on his haunches. He had just started to slip it inside when she had asked for the picture.

  “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

  “Heck yeah I’m serious, come on. You took a ton of pictures of me. Please.”