“You’re scaring Nishia!” Samara snarled, her voice rising.

  “The only one who should be afraid of me right now is you, little girl.” She opened her mouth to blast him, but he must have been completely fed up with her because he bent and tossed her over his shoulder. Straightening, seeming completely unaffected by the wiggling, screaming woman beating on his back, he gave me a gentle smile. “You ready to go, sweetheart?”

  Jack carefully untangled my fingers from his cut and lifted my hands to his mouth. “Remember what I said.”

  Nodding, I took a shaky step away from him and walked with Elias out to the parking lot. “Did Delaney leave?” I asked when we reached his truck, only just realizing the absence of my best friend.

  He laughed and adjusted his hold on Samara. “Yeah, Max got her out of here before he fucked her in front of everyone. Those two can’t keep it in their pants.”

  “Not unlike you.”

  Jaw clenched, Elias slapped a hand over Samara’s ass hard enough to make her yelp. “No more out of you until I get you home, brat.”

  After a little bit of a delay in the parking lot while he tried to get Samara settled in the back seat of the truck, he finally pulled up in front of Sanctuary. I glanced from Elias to Samara, who was fuming behind me. There was an odd charge in the air of the truck cab, but I couldn’t name it. It was a weird combination of danger and something dangerously potent.

  “Have a good rest of your night, sweetheart,” Elias said as he helped me out of the front seat and walked me to the door. “Text Jack and let him know you’re home so he doesn’t worry. Okay, honey?”

  “I will. Thanks for the ride, Elias.”

  “No problem.” He turned to go then paused before facing me. “Aunt Gracie said you’ve been adamant about getting a job. I know Jack won’t be happy about it, but if you’re up to it, we have a reception position open. I know answering the phone probably doesn’t sound like much fun, but it’s an all-day job at Barker & Reid. The pay is decent, and we can work around your college schedule if you decide we’re a good fit.”

  “Really?” Excitement hit me, and I found myself starting to smile, but before it could fully manifest, I froze. “Are you sure? I mean, I don’t have any experience.”

  He tilted his head, causing a few locks of dark hair to fall over his brow. “You don’t get phone calls? I find that hard to believe.”

  “I do, but—”

  “So you’re familiar with how a phone works,” he teased, and I felt my lips lift again. “I’ll tell my mom to expect you Monday at nine. Jack knows where the office is. And if he gives you shit, just tell him to suck it and text me. I can pick you up, but if by some chance I can’t, my brother will give you a ride.”

  “But are you sure?”

  His smile was so sweet that if I hadn’t already been head over heels for Jack, I might have felt something for Elias. With his magnetic blue eyes, that dark hair, and his wide-as-a-door shoulders, he was without a doubt a work of art. But Jack was my beautiful, sweet grizzly bear. “See you Monday, Nishia.”

  “See you,” I called after him, a little dazed.

  Before he reached the truck, I quickly turned and let myself in. All the way to my apartment, I replayed the entire evening through my head. I was exhausted, but so damn happy I couldn’t keep the smile off my lips.

  My phone rang as I stepped into my little sitting area. Still in a happy fog, I answered without seeing who the caller was. “Hello?”

  “Nishia.”

  Every fiber of my being turned to ice at the sound of the voice in my ear, as if I were bracing myself for the blow that voice had always delivered every time I’d heard it throughout my life. “Dad.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  jack

  After securing the alarm, I walked through the house to Nishia’s apartment. I spent more time in her place than my own, only going back to my rooms to shower and change.

  Hannigans’ had been balls to the wall busy up until closing, making it impossible to take a second to check my phone, but when I’d been closing the register, I’d noticed Nishia hadn’t texted to let me know she was home. Not taking the time to shower before I went to her, I didn’t pause to knock on her door before I walked into the apartment.

  Her lights were all on when I entered, making me frown. It was late, close to four in the morning, and she was usually in bed by now. When I worked at the bar, she was typically knocked out by the time I slid in behind her. I’d told her to wait up, and while I was expecting her to be awake, she should have been resting. Her casts might have been gone, but she tired easily.

  Frowning, I found her sitting on the end of her bed—our bed. Seeing how pale she was as she sat there with her phone hanging loosely in her hands, I rushed forward and crouched in front of her. “Baby?”

  She jerked at the sound of my voice and blinked a few times before focusing on me. Inhaling deeply, she released the phone from her fingers, and it dropped to the carpet as her eyes shifted back and forth on my face. “Jack.”

  “What’s wrong? Did something happen?” I brushed my hands over her shoulders and down her arms, looking and feeling for injuries. “Did you fall?”

  “Jack,” she whispered, but I didn’t miss the catch in her voice.

  “Where does it hurt, Nishia?”

  When she didn’t answer, I lifted my gaze to lock with hers. Tears filled her eyes, making them glitter like diamonds, but not in the way I loved so much, like when she was happy. There was pain in their depths—pain, defeat…and anger.

  “Talk to me, baby. I need to know what happened and where it hurts.”

  “My mom is dead,” she announced, and I stiffened. Her eyes kept shooting back and forth over my face, but at my instant reaction, a single tear spilled down her cheek. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

  Biting back a curse, I tightened my fingers around hers. “Who told you?”

  “Does it matter?” She tried to pull away, but I refused to release my hold. Something deep in my gut told me if I let her go, even for a second, she wouldn’t let me touch her again. “You knew, and you didn’t tell me, Jack. She’s been dead for weeks now, and I had no idea.”

  “She doesn’t deserve to be mourned. If it weren’t for her, you never would have had to go through any of this shit.” When she flinched, I groaned. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to hurt any more than you already were. You never even mention her, Nishia. I thought it was better for your mental health if I didn’t bring it up.”

  “No matter what she did, she was still my mom.” She swallowed hard and lowered her lashes. “Maybe she doesn’t deserve the grief I feel right now, but I can’t stop it. She was all I had.”

  “Not true,” I argued. She didn’t respond, and my heart started pounding with something I’d rarely felt my entire life. Fear. “You have an entire army of people who love you now, baby. Everyone within these walls adores you. My parents and cousins, they all accept you as part of the family. You aren’t alone now, little fairy. You haven’t been since you were given to me.”

  “You should have told me. I had the right to know that the woman who gave birth to me was gone.”

  I bowed my head over her hands. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  “Finding out like this, realizing you kept something this important from me… That’s what hurts, Jack.”

  “I’m sorry, baby. Hurting you wasn’t my intention.” I kissed the back of each of her hands. “I only wanted to protect you.”

  She grew quiet for a long moment, but instead of relaxing, I only felt my anxiety spike. Something wasn’t right. She was too reserved. When I looked into her eyes, my Nishia was missing. “You thought you could protect me by hiding her body? Was that where you went when you said you had to take care of something? You knew my mom was dead, and you thought dumping her body would fucking protect me?”

  “Tell me who has filled your head with this bullshit, Nishia,” I demanded when she only continued to stare down at me with cold blue eyes.

  “Where did you go those two days?”

  “Arizona,” I snapped, hating that she didn’t trust me. I’d kept her mother’s death from her, but I hadn’t dumped her body. Nova hadn’t either. She’d left it there and called the super, paying him off or scaring the shit out of him to keep his mouth shut. It didn’t matter which, but apparently he hadn’t stayed quiet.

  If it had been me, I would have torched Faye Cohen’s corpse and delivered the ashes to Nishia in a bronze urn.

  “But he said… Fuck, I should have known better… That sleazy sonofabitch….”

  Each time she trailed off midsentence, my pulse spiked higher. “He, who?”

  Her teeth sank into her bottom lip, and I cupped her face with my free hand, making sure she didn’t look away. “He, who, Nishia?”

  “My dad,” she whispered.

  “You know who your dad is? But he’s not even listed on your birth certificate.”

  Nishia’s brows pulled together in confusion, and I sighed. “Yeah, okay. My IT person did a full background check on you, which led to Clint Morgan. But that was only because I needed to know who to protect you from.”

  “So you’ve known everything about me from the moment I arrived. Has any of this been real, or were you trying to keep a close eye on me because of who I am?” It was my turn to frown. “He told me who your mom is.”

  Shit. Mom and I had both decided not to risk hurting Nishia with what a piece of shit her biological father was or his family’s history with my mom. I doubted Morgan had told her the full story, and everyone was the villain in at least one person’s story. His version wouldn’t be the truth, but she wouldn’t know that, damn it.

  As if she could see what I was thinking, she grimaced. “Every word out of Clint’s mouth has to be taken with a grain of salt, I know that more than anyone. But then he told me about Mom, and that you knew everything, that you were the one who dumped her body. I didn’t believe him at first, but then he texted me pictures. I couldn’t refute that he was telling the truth about her being dead.”

  She shuddered violently, and I tightened my hand on both of hers, wanting to erase those images from her mind forever. Taking a breath, she shrugged. “I guess I was still in shock after seeing her…like that. And I couldn’t help wondering if what he said about you was true too. And… And… Ah fuck, it hurts so much, Jack!”

  Dropping back onto the floor, I pulled her with me, cradling her in my lap just as the first sob left her. Kissing the top of her head, I rocked her against me. “I’ve got you, baby. Cry. Scream. Throw things. Get it all out. But I’m not letting you go.”

  “P-please, don’t lie about th-that. Please. I-I need you so much, Jack.” She wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her face into my throat while her tears pooled in my shirt. The broken, choked sounds that left her throat were like being stabbed with a hot poker, but I held her closer, trying to will my strength into her, absorb her pain so she didn’t have to feel the devastation of loss.

  “Never, baby. I promise.” Kissing the side of her head, I kept rocking her. “You’re mine, little fairy. I won’t ever let you go.”

  I love you.

  It took everything I had not to utter those words then and there, but I wasn’t going to give them to her when she was in so much pain. I didn’t want her to ever think about this moment again.

  Nishia’s body began to shake. It didn’t surprise me that she was having a breakdown. She’d kept so much locked up. Her ordeal with the motherfuckers who took her. Her assault. The weeks of healing.

  Therapy only helped so much, and I’d known this was coming. I’d seen it too many times not to understand what would happen if she didn’t get it out of her system, but she’d bottled it up.

  And I’d fucking let her. Not wanting to see her in distress. Fuck, I should have pushed a little more, gotten it out of her, given her an outlet so she didn’t have to go through this hell now. Maybe if I’d told her about her mom sooner, she wouldn’t have let all her emotions build to the point of explosion.

  My brave, beautiful little fairy had reached her breaking point.

  “Sh-sh-sh-she was all bloated up and…a-and this greenish-blue c-c-color. It was her…b-but it wasn’t. I-I knew she would OD one day. She was so l-lost to her addiction, and I-I wasn’t enough to…to make her stop. Every year… N-no, every month, she got worse. I h-hated her. I do hate her. I will always hate her. But…I loved her too. And… And… Oh God! I still love her, Jack. Everything…she…did. There was…no remorse. None. I am her…daughter… Was. Fuck, was her daughter. But she didn’t love me back. I…always…knew…she loved the drugs…more.”

  Jerking back, she looked up at me, and my heart lifted into my throat at the sight of the tears pouring down her beautiful, pain-ravaged face. “W-wh-why, Jack? Wh-why wasn’t I-I enough? I-is there…something…wrong…w-with me?”

  “No, baby, no. You’re more than enough.” I cupped both sides of her face, my eyes pleading with her to believe me. “You are everything, little fairy. Sweet, loving, so damn beautiful it takes my breath away. I can’t picture my life without you in it, Nishia. I would kill to keep you at my side.”

  “But…why didn’t…she…love me?” she sobbed.

  “She was sick, baby.” I tried to explain, to soothe her, to ease the agony in her heart. “Addiction is an illness that eats away at a person’s soul. It stole her away from you. She couldn’t even love herself, let alone you or anyone else. It was her problem, not yours.”

  “I tried…s-so hard. T-t-to f-fix her.” She scrubbed her trembling hands down her face. “T-to help h-her. I-I worked s-s-so h-h-hard to…to…to keep us together. But sh-she… She… She…” Her breathing grew labored with each word, and her eyes began to widen more and more as panic flooded into her. “Jack,” she squeaked.

  Helpless.

  Broken.

  I pressed my forehead to hers. “Breathe with me, baby. Breathe.” Inhaling deeply, I blew it out, long and slow.

  It didn’t help, and she made a rasping noise that turned my blood to ice. It reminded me of the sounds she’d made the night I’d found her. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard it. That deathlike rattle had been a melody that had lured me to sleep at night, something I’d forced countless monsters to experience before they met the angel of death. But it terrified me hearing it from Nishia.

  She began to struggle against me, fighting her body’s instinct to help her get oxygen. I molded her top half against mine, forcing my body to relax enough so she could feel me breathing. “Please breathe,” I begged when she didn’t suck in a breath. “Please, Nishia. Come on, little fairy. Deep breaths. For me. Baby, please. Fuck! Fuck, please, please, please. Just breathe. I need you to breathe.”

  With a sharp gasp, she inhaled in a rush, gasping lungful after lungful, and tears of relief stung my eyes.

  “I want my mom,” she choked out.

  There was nothing I could do, no words I could give her that would ease the pain in her heart. I felt helpless as I listened to her broken, gut-wrenching sobs that shook her barely healed body. Clenching my eyes closed to fight my tears, I stroked my hands up and down her back, letting her know without words that I was there.

  I just hoped she knew I was never going to leave her.

  Or ever allow her to leave me.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  nishia

  Groaning, I slowly lifted my lashes. Sunlight filtered in through the blinds, so bright it hurt my eyes. Clenching them closed again, I turned my head. The smell of the wind, some unnamed earthy fragrance, and a little spice filled my nose, and I buried my face deeper, wanting that scent inside me. It was warm and comforting, my favorite smells in the world that I didn’t even know I liked until I was given the gift of breathing them in every day.

  Jack’s arm tightened around my back reflexively before he started rubbing his huge hand up and down my spine. I nearly purred with contentment until the throbbing behind my eyes brought me back to reality.

  The night before came flooding back into my head, and I tangled my fingers in the material of Jack’s shirt, holding on in an attempt to protect myself from the fresh wave of agony. Grief. Anger.

  I didn’t even know who I was truly mad at.

  My mom for selling me for her next fix, for fucking dying and leaving me forever.

  My dad for never being there, for only ever bringing pain and destruction when he did pop up randomly throughout my life.

  Jack for keeping things from me. Oh fuck, that felt like the worst betrayal of them all.

  Or myself.

  For believing that I had found something special at Sanctuary, that Jack was my someone and would only ever protect and maybe love me.

  For accepting the scraps Dad threw me when he needed something. He always had an agenda. I was all too aware of that, yet I still hoped.

  For putting up with Mom’s shit for so long, for working my ass off and lying to myself that I did it all for me and a better life, but really, it was all for her. I’d hoped to eventually earn enough to afford a good rehab program for her. To get her clean once and for all so I wouldn’t have to keep living with the fear of losing her forever to her addiction.

  What a fucking laugh.

  I could see all too clearly that it was never going to happen. A dream. A goddamn fantasy. That was all any of it ever was. Why did I let myself believe differently?

  The fact that I had still been able to hope made me feel like even more of a fool.

  How could I forgive either of my parents for making my entire life such hell? What the fuck was wrong with me to accept their bullshit?

  They’d turned me into a masochist, someone who obviously thrived off the pain they inflicted. Why else would I trust a man I had no business even dreaming might care for me?