“Yeah,” she said. “As soon as possible. When he wakes up, tell him I’m okay. I have to go take care of something.”

  Rock and Riker were too worried about their brother to ask what she was up to, which was good, because what she had to do now was of utmost secrecy.

  She pushed her way through the crowd until she reached the edge of the trees, and then she slipped into the shadows and flipped open her phone.

  What the hell were you doing, giving someone your blood? she texted.

  Her brother responded, and she could almost hear the vicious insolence in his tone. You weren’t taking care of it. So I had to.

  How can you do that to someone, knowing what we’ve gone through?

  I will punish the Brolins, sis. With or without you. Get me the location of John Brolin, or you won’t like my next move.

  Her brother wasn’t a terrible person. He’d raised her. And until their father died, she could remember him as someone who was everyone’s friend. Someone smiling.

  But then everything had been misery, and he’d become something craven. Something bent on revenge.

  She sighed, knowing her time was limited. If her brother was willing to give up his blood (which gave anyone an incredible speed boost that was nearly unbeatable), it meant he was serious about punishing any Brolin he could in their father’s absence.

  She shut the phone and paced, remembering how tense the fight had been. She’d expected to see cheating, but her brother had never given blood to those sketchy performance-enhancer junkies. She should have known he’d only do it for the purpose of revenge.

  She pocketed her phone and walked back to the camp and over to the medic tent, where everyone was gathered.

  She told them all to please go back and get ready for the next fight, then stepped into the shaded tent where Ryland was lying on a cot with a blanket over him and their medic taking vitals.

  “How’s he doing?” she asked Rock and Ryland.

  “Still unconscious,” Rock said, folding his arms and looking down with worry.

  She put a hand on his and Riker’s arms and shook her head. “Give me some time alone with him. You go out and get the next match started. We don’t need a bunch of looky-loos.”

  Rock nodded. “You sure?”

  “Yeah. And if anyone cheats, I think you can catch it.”

  Rock scratched the back of his head. “I didn’t think there would be so many of them.”

  “People have only really started using alpha wolf blood this year.” She shrugged. “Anyway…”

  “Right,” Riker said, taking the hint. He grabbed Rock by the arm and turned to leave. He turned back at the edge of the tent with a small grin. “And thanks, Lea. For saving him.”

  She just nodded, kneeling beside Ryland’s bed to watch as the medic worked.

  “I’m going to give him a shot,” the medic, Lionel, said. “See if it wakes him.”

  “Okay,” she said, waiting.

  Lionel took out a syringe and poked it into Ryland’s arm, and Ryland’s eyes shot open. He tried to sit but winced and lay back down, his body badly bruised and broken. As a dire bear, he would heal quickly, but it was important to make sure his brain could be awake.

  “You okay?” she asked, putting a hand on his arm as the medic gave her a thumbs-up and left the room to give them space.

  It was clear Ryland would be okay now.

  “Did I win?” he asked, stress lining his handsome face.

  She brushed her hands through his thick brown hair, pushing it off his forehead. Despite being a successful businessman, he looked so boyish at this moment.

  Then his stubborn jaw tensed and he looked all man again. “I asked if I won. Did you stop the fight?” Panic lit his eyes. “Oh no, what happened? Is Randy okay? Did he—”

  “Relax,” she said, pushing him back down gently, glad for the immense strength inside her that helped her do so. “I stopped it before that could happen.”

  “But I blacked out,” he said. “I only do that when I shift. What did I—”

  “You partially shifted,” she said quietly. “I was able to stop it.”

  His eyes went wide, a bright silver in the lamplight of the tent. “You what? My brothers let you in there with me?”

  She laughed, feeling a flush on her neck. “Well, they didn’t have a choice. I sort of jumped.”

  Ryland put his hands over his face. “You could have been killed.”

  “I don’t think so,” she said even more quietly. “Ryland, I think you need to trust your bear. Just a bit more.”

  “I can’t,” he said, his throat sounding sore and achy. “I can’t tell you why, but I can’t.”

  “I know sometimes it feels like there’s something too powerful inside you. Like it’s going to burst out and there’s nothing you can do. But what if it’s not what you think? What if it’s there to protect you?”

  “Then why are dire wolves put down?” he asked. “If they are somehow the good guys, why does your kind kill them.”

  “I think people misunderstand them. They only arise in hurt people. To protect them. But if you keep them down forever, if you never let them out, they get angry. And the more you keep that part of yourself locked up, the more you don’t know what they’ll do when they get out. And besides, if you happen to be a bad person, then maybe your dire bear would do bad things.”

  He nodded, looking uncertain.

  “But I believe it’s just a part of you. Like anyone’s bear is a part of them. You just needed a little more protecting than most. And your dire bear ensures that.”

  “What if it kills people?” he asks. “What if I can’t control it?”

  “I would rather you killed Randy than let yourself be killed,” she said. “Though, I guess if I had to choose, I’d rather you just lost the fight.”

  His eyes closed and an expression of pain crossed his face.

  “Do you need more pain meds? Do I need to get the medic?”

  He shook his head. “No. Unrelated.”

  “Anyway, I never felt I was in danger.” She stroked his hair again and then the side of his face, and he put his hand over hers. His was clammy, cool. He was probably still in a bit of shock.

  “How do you know so much about this?” he asked.

  She avoided the question, squeezing his hand. “We should get you back to your place. Back to your bed.”

  He nodded, slowly pushing himself to his feet. Amazingly, she could see his bruises were already healing. His dire bear was amazing indeed.

  She knew from experience. Not all dire forms were evil.

  13

  Ryland rested in his bed for the rest of the day, watching TV with Lea and avoiding any talk about what had happened earlier.

  He felt deeply humiliated by what had almost happened. And by the fact that she’d had to save him.

  He should have been the one saving her. She meant everything to him. Would the broken bear inside him always mean she was taking care of him rather than the other way around?

  He should have been grateful she’d been able to calm the animal inside him. She seemed to be the exception to everything. The one person he wasn’t afraid to get close to. The woman his bear wanted for a mate.

  If nothing else, he gave the animal credit for that.

  And it was true he was alive when he wasn’t sure he would have been without his dire form.

  But in many ways, it had ruined his life. Made him constantly penitent, made him feel somehow subhuman. Worth less than anyone else. Because of his lack of control.

  So when she kept asking him about his father, he knew he could never tell her. Not only because he worried about consequences, but because he didn’t want to see the look in her eyes when all that beautiful confidence she had in him evaporated into thin air.

  “There you are, looking all distant again,” she said, snuggling into him. “What do I have to do to get all of your secrets out of you?”

  “Mate me?” he asked, raising their clasped hands between them. “Forever?” He sighed. “Even then I can’t promise all of my secrets.”

  She’d changed into comfy pink sweats that looked good with her skin and looked adorable and soft and touchable.

  And even though he was still sore—and pretty sure one rib was still healing—he longed to have her.

  She looked over at him with those piercing dark eyes, as if she understood his thoughts at that moment.

  “You’re still healing,” she said.

  “I know,” he said. “But I’m mostly fine.”

  She sighed. “I don’t know what to do with you, Ryland.” She sat up against the headboard, pulling her knees into her chest and wrapping her arms around them, rocking slightly. “When I thought you were going to be hurt, I didn’t know what I was going to do. I never thought that when you found the right person, it could move so fast.”

  “Can I ask something, though?”

  “Sure,” she said.

  It was something that had been bothering him for some time. “All those weeks together, and then us making love, and you were still pushing me off, insisting it was impossible. Why the sudden change of heart the other day in the field?”

  She lowered her eyes. “It wasn’t so much a change of heart as a decision to stop denying my feelings. I was attracted to you from the minute you walked into my dojo. Us making love just proved that. I don’t get involved with clients.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me that before?”

  “Because I didn’t want you to get a big head and because I had all the wrong ideas about you. I really didn’t think we could work out together on paper.”

  He nodded.

  “But then I got to know you. And hearing about your childhood really put the last piece into the puzzle. The whole picture of you suddenly made sense. And knowing you weren’t this spoiled ice king, but really the dutiful, protective, hard-working person I knew, made it hard to resist you any longer.”

  His mouth quirked up on one side in a crooked grin. He wiggled his eyebrows. “So my pheromones proved to be too much for you?”

  “Your persistence,” she said. “And yes, whatever it is between us that makes you hard to avoid. I can’t seem to stay away, even when I have every reason to.”

  He scooted back to sit close to her. “I’m glad you can’t stay away. Because I’ve known you were mine almost from the moment I met you. Though, I didn’t know it consciously until that day in the gym.” He put a hand over hers. “When I was in that fight, all I could think was if I died, I wouldn’t get to see you. Wouldn’t get to mate you.”

  “I still haven’t made any promises,” she said. “I can’t.” Her voice broke, making him curious.

  He knew he was hiding things from her, but what was she hiding from him?

  “Lea,” he said. “Why do you keep asking about my family?”

  She swallowed. “I need to know where your dad is, Ryland. I need to know now.”

  His lips tightened into a line as his heart plummeted as if down a bottomless well. He scooted slightly away from her, feeling cold.

  Did she know something somehow?

  Was she some kind of detective sent to spy on him?

  “Don’t look at me that way,” she said. “Like you don’t trust me. It’s just going to make it even harder to say what I have to say.”

  A chill went up his back as he watched her fidget. “What do you have to say?”

  “Let me just say,” she said, “that I’m sorry if this ruins all hopes you had of mating me. I would understand, even though I hate I have to do this now that I think you and I could be happy together. Now that I know what you mean to me.”

  “What do you mean?” His hair was standing up on his neck. He didn’t like where this was going at all. “Wait, I don’t want to know.” He got off the bed and backed away from her. “Lea, I’m never, ever telling you about my father. I don’t know where you got the idea to ask about him, but I can’t, okay? I can’t.”

  “Why not?” she asked, getting off the bed, fire lighting in her dark eyes as well. “Why are you protecting him? Is he more important to you than your mate?”

  Ryland clenched and unclenched his hands in fists, pacing. “It’s not like that. Protecting him? That’s one thing I’d never do. It’s not even possible.”

  “Tell me why,” she demanded. “Tell me right now.”

  “Because he’s dead, all right?” Ryland spat. “He’s fucking dead.”

  Lea slumped back on the bed, her face completely blank, as the words fell in the silence between them.

  He’d finally told someone. It was finally over. And Ryland had no idea what would happen next.

  Lea’s mouth opened and closed wordlessly.

  John Brolin was dead.

  So many years of hatred, planning, waiting. For nothing.

  And what was her brother going to do when he found out? She doubted he was going to take that as a sign to stop his vengeance. She doubted he was going to accept that John Brolin had gotten what he deserved.

  “How did he die?” she asked.

  “Natural causes,” Ryland said, avoiding her eyes.

  She slumped farther. Shit. Lance would never think it was fair that their father had been murdered in cold blood, but John Brolin had gotten to die of natural causes. “Dammit.”

  “Why does it matter?” Ryland asked, walking up and kneeling in front of her, looking up into her eyes.

  He was so handsome, so capable, so like her. He was truly the kind of partner that was perfect for her. She put a hand under his chin and made him stand. “Why does it matter so much what happened to my dad?” he asked.

  “I don’t know,” she said. “I guess I just thought it was a secret and couldn’t understand why I saw so much pain in your eyes.”

  His gaze shuttered, and he turned away. “My father was an evil man. That doesn’t mean I wanted him to die.”

  She felt the cold truth of that echoing inside her. Her brother was never going to consider this over.

  She watched Ryland’s wide, strong back. Even though he was conflicted, he was powerful. Could he and the others take on Lance if she just told them what to expect?

  Except Lance would play dirty. And if she told Ryland the reason she had truly come here, she might get herself in trouble.

  What if he never trusted her again?

  How could he understand her childhood? How could he understand being so angry, so hungry, so beaten down that the only thing keeping you going was the thought of evening the scores someday?

  Yet being with Ryland, more and more, all she thought about was wanting to be happy. Wanting to put the past behind her and be with who her wolf wanted.

  But Lance was out there in the woods. He’d always be watching them.

  But maybe there was one way to protect Ryland. Save him. She wasn’t sure if it would work, wasn’t sure if she was doing it out of selfishness or because she just wanted to be close to him.

  But she was going to do it, and she knew deep inside her that now was the time.

  She stood and closed the door to his bedroom, locking it. Then she dimmed the lights slightly, leaving the bedroom fan on and the light from the open bathroom streaming in.

  His eyes followed her as she walked to the bed and sat down on it, patting it for him to join her.

  “I want you,” she said. “Without protection.”

  “So you’ll mate me? Just like that? Because my dad’s dead?”

  She closed her eyes against the pain that came. Now she knew how Ryland felt, trapped in a world of words she didn’t want to say. “I can’t explain it. I don’t know why my heart moves toward you in the way it does. I just know what I want. I know I won’t regret this.”

  Plus, her brother would have a harder time coming against her mate, wouldn’t he? It was her only hope.

  And if they were going to be separated anyway, this was what she wanted from him.

  She pushed him back on the bed, looming over him, and began to unbutton the shirt he was wearing, revealing his massive chest.

  His mouth quirked in a smile. “Look, not that I’m not enjoying this, but I want to make sure it’s what you want. I mean, we haven’t talked about anything. Where we’d live, what you’d want as far as family, or what careers—”

  She put a finger to his lips, silencing him. There was no way to talk about things like that with a dire wolf wandering outside.

  He shoved her finger away and brought her lips crashing down on his with a rough hand on the back of her head, holding her against him.

  She moaned into his lips, and he sat up and flipped them over, wanting the dominant position.

  “Aw, you always end up on top.”

  “I know,” he said. “Because I want to protect you.”

  “There’s no one around,” she said.

  “And I also like the view,” he said. “And this time together, I want to be in control. I want to give you everything, see everything you feel ripple across your senses. I need to, sweetheart.”

  She flushed at the nickname. It felt odd but right. Despite their difficulties, she really could see spending the rest of her life with this man. Training at her gym together, working at his office together, visiting Bear Canyon.

  It didn’t matter.

  Wherever they were, they’d be together.

  If only they could make it through what was coming. But being joined would make it more likely.

  He spread her hands at her sides, looking over her, and then quickly let go to strip off her sweatshirt and pants, leaving her in only a soft bra and panties. Comfy ones.

  He grinned. “I love seeing you naked. Or mostly naked. How do you always look so good?”

  She grinned. “You’re biased?”

  “No,” he said, leaning in to kiss her belly button, running his tongue along the rim of it and making her squirm. “I’m extremely objective. You’re beautiful.” His hand palmed her stomach. “Soft, beautiful, exquisite. Every part of you is a work of art.”

  She flushed, loving the little twitch of her nerves as he kissed over the sensitive skin of her hips. “How many more fights do you have?” She gasped.