Ajax went silent for a moment, then nodded. At this point, everyone already probably knew.

  His actions were telling for any shifter.

  And had probably turned Olivia off for good.

  “Did you really think everyone couldn’t tell the minute we saw you two together?” Diesel asked. “We’re all trying to pretend it’s not obvious, because you two are clearly trying to seem not together, but I don’t understand why.”

  “Yeah,” Gunnar said. “There’s an elephant the size of Texas in the room, and it’s directly between you and your mate.” His eyes narrowed. “She knows… right?”

  Ajax just scowled down at his hands, which seemed to be enough of an answer for both of the other basilisks, who stared in disbelief.

  “Have you not told her?” Diesel asked, incredulous.

  “I can’t,” Ajax muttered. “She doesn’t want a mate. She’s worked with shifters for much of her life, and it has turned her off to mating. I agreed to do this on her terms. We’re just casual.”

  Gunnar grunted. “Basilisks don’t do casual.”

  Diesel nodded. “This is tough. Then again, it’s Ajax. Who wants to mate that frowny bastard—”

  Ajax cut him off with a hard punch to the arm.

  Diesel grimaced, then stabbed a finger into Ajax’s chest. “I’m going to let that go this one time.”

  “Why?” Ajax asked, feeling cagey. A fight actually sounded kind of good right now.

  Diesel frowned. “Because I know how I would feel in your situation. Horrible. What about all of that romance research you were doing? It’s not helping?”

  “Useless. Olivia is nothing like the women I studied. She hates romance and loves missions. No books or movies could ever have prepared me for this,” Ajax said darkly.

  “You’ve tried everything?” Gunnar asked.

  Ajax nodded. He’d taken her out. Cooked for her. Pleased her.

  Diesel cocked an eyebrow. “What about sex? Have you made any progress there? She might not like shifters, but she has to like—”

  Ajax cut him off with a low growl. “Say another word about that, and I’ll gut you. But yes. We’ve been together.”

  “If she’s your mate, you have to tell her,” Gunnar said, shaking his head. “There’s no way around it, even if it makes her uncomfortable.”

  “Now isn’t the time,” Ajax said. “Probably not for a very long time either. She’s already avoiding me, and I just made it worse.”

  What if he told her and it made her hate him? What if she left?

  He let out a snarl.

  Gunnar looked at him, slightly disturbed, then waved a hand. “Okay, fine. We’ll hold on that for now. What about your mission? Have there been any leads?”

  “The double dragons think the issue is resolved,” Ajax said. “There’s been no sign of poison on the black market since the mine issue was resolved, but I’m not so sure.” He sat down in Harrison’s chair, tapping his fingers on the desk nervously. “But honestly, something is bothering me about the whole thing.”

  “What?” Gunnar asked. “About the poison?”

  Ajax nodded. “I haven’t said anything to the others, because I was waiting for new developments and I’m probably wrong because it isn’t possible, but—”

  “But what?” Diesel asked impatiently, folding his arms.

  “I’ve never seen that poison around anything but the world serpent.”

  Gunnar sucked in a breath. “We killed it.”

  Ajax nodded. “That’s why it has to be something else. It can’t be possible.” He scowled. “But it’s still bothering me. It would have almost been better if the double dragons had been able to track down someplace it was actually being produced, not just stored. Knowing it was synthetically made would have helped allay my suspicions.”

  “Jormungandr,” Diesel said, making them both look up at him in surprise.

  “What?”

  “That’s what the Norse call it,” Diesel said. “You know Grace has been teaching me mythology.”

  “Right,” Ajax said.

  “Also, the great wyrm, the behemoth, the world serpent, the world snake… Take your pick,” Diesel said.

  “Regardless, it should be dead,” Gunnar said. “We killed it. I remember. We cut it in two a long time ago.”

  Ajax snorted. “Yeah, it’s starting to seem like nothing we kill stays dead these days.” He frowned. “As I said, it’s an odd suspicion. But I don’t have any other leads.” He shook his head. “Probably nothing to worry about.”

  Even if he’d only seen the poison while fighting the wyrm.

  “So you haven’t told anyone?” Gunnar asked.

  “Wouldn’t want to freak them out when it’s probably not true,” Ajax said.

  “I don’t want to think about all the damage that thing could do, if it is back,” Diesel said, shaking his head.

  Gunnar nodded in agreement. “Neither do I, but it does bring up a good point.”

  Ajax cocked an eyebrow. “Which is…?”

  “If the wyrm has somehow come back and we have to fight it again, it’s all the more important that you let your mate know how you feel.” Diesel frowned. “That thing could kill us if we happen to end up in a fight with it.”

  Gunnar nodded.

  Ajax knew they were right. He had to at least let her know his feelings for her, somehow. And talk to her and try to apologize for his overreaction to Clark. And explain that he truly wanted her for a mate, but he could wait for her.

  Ajax stared at the door, blood pumping wildly in his veins.

  It was time to tell her everything.

  15

  Olivia folded her arms, feeling slightly tipsy from the glass of wine she’d been drinking since Ajax had laid out Clark.

  No long-term harm had been done, but it was shocking seeing Ajax lose control like that.

  Especially in light of her confusion about her own feelings.

  Nothing had been about to happen between her and Clark. A sick part of her was glad Ajax was jealous because it meant he cared about her too.

  But in the shifter way? As a mate? Just some property he needed to make his inner animal at peace?

  She sipped more wine, not sure she could deal with that.

  It had only been a week, though. How could her feelings be so strong?

  And why wasn’t she angrier with him for hitting Clark?

  It was love, she realized. Something she’d been trying to run from all evening by not staying by his side.

  When she was with him, it was impossible to hide how attracted she was, how much she admired him.

  Looking into the fire, Olivia was reminded of the warmth of Dallas, and suddenly, she wished she could fly back to her apartment with Ajax, just the two of them, and forget about everything and just spend the holidays alone together.

  But that wasn’t to be. Her place was with the double dragons, for as long as she was needed. People depended on her. Still, she couldn’t help but feel a wave of guilt when she’d watched an angry Ajax ushered out of the room by the other two basilisks.

  Was it too much to ask a shifter to control himself? Did that mean he thought her his mate?

  Being around the other shifters and their mates tonight, she’d truly seen love and warmth between all of them that could almost sell her on the concept.

  Almost.

  As a professional who worked with other men frequently, she didn’t really see how she could be with a man who couldn’t control himself when she was around other men, even harmlessly.

  She also didn’t see how she could let go of Ajax.

  She’d never thought the man who took out an entire facility on his own would have wormed his way into her heart so much.

  His meals. His smile. His incredible smoldering gaze, his tenderness (and roughness) in bed.

  All of it was perfect for her, if she were looking to settle down.

  Olivia got up from her chair, deciding she needed another glass of wine, and stepped into the dining room, where it seemed like the group was getting ready to play a board game.

  Reno, Dani, Harrison, and Marian were setting up the pieces. Jack had even managed to lug Troy in, who was sullenly shaking his head at the table, looking like he’d rather kick the board over than play.

  As Olivia passed the table to get to the bottle of wine she’d been sampling most of the night, Jack gently grabbed her arm.

  “Hey, want to join us? We’re going to play Scrabble, teams of two.” His smile was warm and bright, as always, but his eyes narrowed, almost like he could sense something was wrong.

  Not that she was going to tell him.

  She held up a hand. “I’m no good at wordplay. I’ll pass.” Everyone here had been so incredibly kind and welcoming, but she really wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone.

  Jack nodded understandingly, and Troy looked up from the table to send her a questioning glance, but she ignored it, filled up her wine glass, and headed out onto the porch.

  The cold air nipped at her skin, and she shivered, pulling her sweater more tightly around her arms. Rows of Christmas lights hung from nearly every building.

  She had even helped put up several of them a few days back, and while they had been beautiful and sparkly then, she got a bittersweet feeling looking at them now.

  Just as she was about to suppress another wave of shivers, she felt a warm leather jacket being placed around her shoulders, and she tugged it around herself, grateful for the warmth. She could tell almost instantly whose jacket it was.

  “How are you?” Ajax asked, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I wanted to check in, talk to you about—”

  She turned to him with a glare, her own nervousness making her even more agitated, along with the alcohol making her too free with her words. “How could you? You said you could behave, but the first time I’m around another man, you hit him!”

  Ajax’s jaw flexed, and his gorgeous lips turned down in a frown. “I thought he was going to kiss you.”

  She put a hand to her forehead. “Ajax, you know I can take care of myself.”

  “I know,” he said. “It wasn’t like that. I didn’t think about it consciously. It’s just—”

  “That’s what I’m worried about,” she said, stepping away from him. “I’ve had fun with you, Ajax. But this is exactly the kind of behavior that—”

  “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Ajax said. “My behavior. I need to explain why I acted the way I did. Olivia—”

  “Stop,” Olivia said, turning to face him and begging him with her eyes not to do this now. She couldn’t. “We don’t need to talk. You just need to stop acting like we’re more than we are. You need to respect that we are enjoying each other but not together.” She folded her arms tightly, leaving one hand out to hold her wine. “And that my job still comes first. I’m not pushing away twenty years for something that took a week, or for a man who can’t control himself.”

  “You don’t understand,” Ajax said in a growl. “You aren’t a shifter. I can’t—”

  “No,” she said, cutting him off again. “I can’t understand. That’s why you need to go slow with me. I was thinking earlier I wanted to keep seeing you. Even if the double dragons want me to come back to Dallas, I would like you to visit.”

  By the way his eyebrows immediately came down, she knew she’d said the wrong thing.

  “Visit?” he said, entire body tight as he tried to contain his emotions. “You would be satisfied with that? Just visiting me or having me visit you? Spending most of our time apart?”

  “I have a job still! Or did you forget that?” she asked. “This was a vacation. Ajax, we said this was casual from the start!”

  He let out a snarl. “I know! I know I’m ridiculous. Don’t remind me.” He tightened his fists. “For you, I tried to go against my shifter nature. I damn well tried to take what you were willing to give and not want more, Olivia.” His eyes flashed to hers, red in the moonlight. “But we could have more. We could be more, and I can’t forget that. We could even get out of here together, go out on my bike, and forget the party even happened.”

  She shook her head slowly. “The party just made it clear that what we have works behind closed doors only.”

  “Because that’s all you allow!” He growled. “If you’d allowed me to stay by your side, as your mate—”

  “You’re not my—”

  “As your date, then,” he said. “If you’d not pretended to barely know me—when we’ve been fucking for the past week—I wouldn’t have had to go flying across the room to pull Clark off you.”

  “You didn’t have to.”

  “Yes, I did,” he said. “My basilisk demanded it.”

  She put a hand over her face. “This is why shifters are impossible.”

  He stiffened with hurt, then anger. Gosh, he even looked handsome when angry. A part of her told her to stop being a coward and just face this thing between them.

  But all of it made no sense.

  “You had no problem with this shifter all week,” he said in a low voice, taking a step closer.

  She looked up at him stubbornly. “That’s because I thought he would respect my wishes when we went out into the world.”

  “How?” he asked. “Let’s say you want this to continue, on your terms and only with visits. How does that work? Can I never be jealous of you? Can I never fight? Will we never be more than casual?”

  She put a hand to her head. “I’m not trying to hurt you. But I told you I wasn’t going to upend my life! I’m doing what I can, Ajax.”

  His jaw tightened. “What if it’s not enough for me? What if I need more of you?”

  Her eyes locked on his, and her heart ached as she tried to come up with the right answer.

  She swallowed, her throat tight and painful. “I can’t talk about this now. I’m going to go find my bosses and see how things are going with the mission. If I’m staying here, then you and I can talk more about… what we’re going to do.”

  “Right,” Ajax said. “The all-important mission is what really matters right now. More than your whole future. More than…” He trailed off, but she knew what he had been about to say.

  More than me.

  The implication smarted. “Not more important, no,” she said. “But still important. My work always will be. I’ve saved the futures of countless people. I will keep doing so.”

  He gave her a glare. “But that’s not why you’re keeping your distance from me.” His red eyes ran over her, appraising her, and then he met her gaze boldly. “You’re not just being distant from me. It’s not just about being selfless—you’re afraid.”

  She snorted. The idea was preposterous. “I’m not afraid of anything.”

  “Yes, you are.” Ajax waved a hand. “You’re afraid of me. Afraid to have feelings when you’ve been allowed to stay alone for so long. You’re afraid because permanence scares you, and you’ve never had something like this. And most of all, you’re afraid because, deep down, you know what I know. That you’re my ma—”

  “Don’t say it!” she said, stepping back from him. “Just don’t. Don’t be like that after a week. You’re right, I don’t really know how to trust that kind of thing. No one ever stayed, even before I had this job. But I’m not going to accept that we’re caught in some kind of destiny after a week. I just can’t.”

  “But what if it’s the truth?” Ajax asked stubbornly.

  Did he really think it was that easy? That he could just say, “You’re my mate,” and any and all problems would just go away? All her reservations would be washed away in the current of his insistence? That wasn’t how it worked.

  He might be a shifter, but she lived in the real world, where people were sour and relationships were fickle and nothing could be decided that easily.

  “I’m sorry, Ajax.” She sighed. “I tried to tell you my priorities.” She looked to the side. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, or me. But I can’t change my whole life on a dime just because another shifter thinks I’m his property.”

  “That’s what you think I feel about you?” Ajax asked, looking furious now. “That’s not what a mate is.”

  “I don’t know what it is! But I know I’m not letting a man be caveman possessive of me when I’ve only known him a week, no matter how good the sex is!”

  Guilt hit her instantly as the words left her mouth, and she knew in that moment that he was right.

  She was afraid. Of all of this.

  But Ajax just scowled, his breath leaving his mouth in a thick trail of steam. Then he turned on his heel to leave, stalking back down the other side of the porch and into the night.

  Olivia’s heart ached hard as she watched him go.

  Maybe she’d been too harsh.

  She set her wine glass on a nearby railing and put a hand to her forehead, unease and regret settling in her stomach.

  She’d never meant for either of them to end up in this position, so what was she going to do?

  Looking up into the night sky, she thought of her fallen partner.

  She’d vowed to spend the rest of her life working to help others. She’d never considered a life for herself.

  Or how scary it would be to let someone in who might end up hurting her.

  She realized that was what she had always mistrusted about mates. It felt like such a convenient excuse to skip past everything, leaving no time to see red flags.

  Shifters seemed to have no doubts about who their mate was, but when so many had said it to her, she’d decided most of them were just delusional as hell.

  So even if Ajax did have feelings, were they real? Or just part of some animal impulse to own something?

  She needed more time to decide. Maybe even some space.

  While she was thinking, a shadow moved out from behind one of the logs holding up the porch. Olivia jumped, wondering who it could be.

  As the huge figure stalked out of the shadows, she let out a sigh of relief.

  “Troy,” she said, letting out her pent-up breath. “What’s up?”

  “Just wanted to talk to you,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Is now a good time?”