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  Books. Change. Lives.

  Copyright © 2023 by Terry Spear

  Cover and internal design © 2023 by Sourcebooks

  Cover art by Kris Keller/Lott Reps

  Sourcebooks and the colophon are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems—except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews—without permission in writing from its publisher, Sourcebooks.

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

  All brand names and product names used in this book are trademarks, registered trademarks, or trade names of their respective holders. Sourcebooks is not associated with any product or vendor in this book.

  Published by Sourcebooks Casablanca, an imprint of Sourcebooks

  P.O. Box 4410, Naperville, Illinois 60567–4410

  (630) 961-3900

  sourcebooks.com

  Contents

  Front Cover

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Excerpt from Wolf on the Wild Side

  Chapter 1

  Back Cover

  To Michelle Scaff, who reads everything that has my name on it and tells the world about it. You are a writer’s dream come true! Thank you!

  Chapter 1

  Derek Spencer was running along the beach with his Irish setter rescues, Red and Foxy, his bodyguard Will Wolfson following him, when the billionaire gray wolf realized he hadn’t heard from his human girlfriend, Brenda Connors, in a few days. Since he was taking her to a charity gala the following night, he figured he’d better touch base with her when he got back in to make sure she was all right. She’d been moody of late, irritable with him, but no matter how much he had pressed her to learn what the matter was, she wouldn’t share with him. Maybe she didn’t even know herself what was bugging her.

  Despite telling himself he should take the chance to date some she-wolves, Derek balked at going out with any of them. He told himself that after opening his heart to two of the she-wolves he’d loved and then lost to other wolves, he couldn’t let it happen again. It just wasn’t worth it. He couldn’t see a way past the anxiety he felt about even trying to date another she-wolf and risking falling in love again if she wanted nothing to do with having a permanent relationship with him. Hell, he was a billionaire and made all kinds of tough financial decisions. He could do just about anything he set his mind to, except when it came to dating she-wolves.

  His friends had given up on trying to convince him to date the ones they knew. He did a lot of stuff with his male friends, but when they included their mates, he just felt like an outsider. He felt he was never going to be able to do anything but see human women he wouldn’t lose his heart to. He would never consider turning one of them either. Yet he wanted something more.

  He wanted the connection he would have with a wolf mate that wasn’t anything like being with a human, no hidden secrets about what they were. That would be a relief—to let their wild selves out and enjoy spending the time with each other on wolf outings; to understand what it meant to be wolves; to be free to talk about wolf issues and to have that bond they shared. Sure, he talked to his wolf staff and his friends, but the bond between wolf mates went even deeper. He certainly wasn’t a lone wolf at heart.

  He ran up the stairs to his ocean-view estate in northern California, removed the dogs’ leashes, and headed into the kitchen to pull a bottle of water out of the fridge to drink.

  Will joined him. “That was a good run.”

  “Yeah, the best.” Then Derek grabbed his phone to call Brenda.

  “If you don’t need me for anything, I’m going to do a perimeter search.”

  “Okay, thanks.” Ever since Derek had started dating Brenda six months ago, she’d wanted him to wear something that wouldn’t clash with what she was wearing to social engagements. It was a quirk of hers that he didn’t mind accommodating. But she hadn’t called him about it yet, and he wondered if she was in another one of her moods. He could deal with them better if he just knew what was bothering her. Then he had another notion. He hoped she wasn’t sick.

  He called her several times before she finally answered her phone. He didn’t hear any sounds in the background indicating she was out on the town and too busy to answer the phone.

  “Listen, Derek,” Brenda said. She didn’t sound like she was happy with him, and that made him suspicious. “I’m tired of all my friends asking if we are getting engaged and me hemming and hawing around about it. I like your little social gatherings just fine, but unless you’re going to propose to me soon, I’m no longer going out with you.”

  Derek nearly choked on the water he was drinking out of the bottle. Her declaration surprised him because she hadn’t once hinted at wanting to be engaged at all. That was what the mood swings were all about? He sure hadn’t expected her to just give him an ultimatum. Why hadn’t she talked to him about this earlier instead of putting on the pressure right before the social event? Well, he supposed that was the reason—to convince him to get off the fence and take a stand. He understood that she might eventually want a commitment, but he just wasn’t the one to give it to her.

  “Okay, well, I’m sorry you feel that way. When we started dating, I told you nothing serious could come of it, but I understand. If you’re looking to marry someone, you’ll want to be free to do so.” He tried to sound amiable about it, though he was annoyed with her that she would wait until this late date to call it quits with him.

  “Not with anyone else, Derek! With you. I’m not interested in seeing anyone else. I just believe we’ve been dating each other for long enough that we need to make more of a formal commitment to each other. An engagement, I mean. I’m not seeing anyone else, and I don’t want to.”

  He had always told her this was a way for both of them just to have a nice time. A way for her to social climb and for him to have a date at the charity functions. But marry her? She wasn’t a wolf! So there was no chance of that ever happening.

  He’d always been completely honest with her about the situation. Except for the part about him being a lupus garou. With other human females he’d dated, he would never make an official commitment to them, and they had given up on him. Brenda knew that. He assumed she thought she could change his mind—but only a she-wolf would. If he had decided Brenda was the only one for him, that would have meant biting her, turning her, and being mated to her for life. They lived very long lives. So no way.

  “All right. I understand. I’m just not—”

  Hell, how did he say this without telling her what the real issue was: he was a wolf; she was not. Besides that, he wasn’t in love with her. “I’m not making any commitment to you or anyone else for that matter. It all has to do with me. Not you.” Which was partly true. She hadn’t even said that she loved him because he knew she didn’t. It would have been more of a marriage of convenience, certainly not love. He didn’t need that.

  “Yeah, I know it does. You have a phobia about commitment. Fine. Find someone else to go with you to the gala tomorrow night or go alone. You can deal with it. But if you change your mind about us, you can give me a call,” Brenda said.

  “All right.” That was all he could think of to say. It had been fun while it lasted? It was better to just leave it at that and not say anything further.

  Brenda waited a minute more, but he wasn’t going to tell her what she wanted to hear. That he’d changed his mind. That he couldn’t live without her. That they would become engaged and he wanted her to go with him to the social event. Then she hung up on him.

  He called his wolf friend Rafe Denali to see if he knew of anyone he could take to the ball. Since the event was the following night, Derek was afraid it was a little late to call anyo
ne out of the blue. Maybe, if Rafe didn’t have someone in mind, his twin brother, Aidan, or their mates might know of a convenient prospect for Derek to take to the gala.

  “Hey, Rafe, do you have a moment to talk?” Derek always asked now that Rafe had a mate, Jade, and her four-year-old son he’d adopted as his own.

  “Yeah, buddy, I heard Brenda Connors said she was demanding you become engaged with her or she would dump you,” Rafe said.

  “Yeah, she did it. She waited to the very last minute before the gala to tell me too.”

  “So you wouldn’t have time to get a replacement date. Not as choosy as you are, and for good reason.”

  “How did you know about Brenda ditching me for the ball?” Derek asked, the notion sinking in that he shouldn’t have known. Though bad news did travel fast through their social circles.

  “She posted all over the social networking sites that she had broken up with you. Jade happened to see one of her posts. She thought it was rotten of Brenda to wait until the last minute before the gala to tell you to marry her or else.”

  Great.

  “You know Lexi Summerfield’s assistant and bodyguard, Kate Hanover, would be an excellent choice.”

  That was whom Derek had been afraid Rafe would suggest, since she was the only eligible she-wolf he knew of in the area.

  “She might not like that. I didn’t hire Kate when she applied for a bodyguard position that I suddenly had to fill,” Derek finally said. He’d never told anyone except his staff. He hadn’t expected Lexi to hire Kate as her bodyguard! By then, he had never mentioned it to his friends because he hadn’t seen any reason to do so.

  Rafe sighed. “All right, well, I don’t know of anyone else offhand who you could take to the ball. I’ll ask my brother and our mates if they have any ideas. But if I ask our friend Lexi, she’s going to recommend Kate.”

  “Kate will be there as a bodyguard for Lexi, if Kate’s attendance at past charity events is any indication,” Derek said.

  “Lexi has a mate and Mike Stallings to serve as her bodyguards, and they’re always there as well.”

  Derek didn’t want to let on why he had always noticed Kate at the functions. Maybe he had been feeling a little guilty about not hiring her. She had great qualifications when he interviewed her, but he’d already had a built-in bias. He’d dashed her hopes with one little statement that he couldn’t hire a woman for the job because of the inherent problem with relationship issues. He had felt strongly about the issue and he still did. She had been nothing but professional and had tried not to let on that she had been offended by his comment. He had smelled her annoyance, courtesy of his heightened ability to smell emotions as a wolf.

  He hadn’t meant to imply that she wanted to be his bodyguard because she wanted more than that. Though what better way to get to know him than to be with him day and night—while protecting and serving? Even if he had been dating her, he wouldn’t have wanted her to serve as his bodyguard—just as his best friend and lover, if they were suited to each other. Even in his youth, he’d had a bit of a phobia when it came to dating she-wolves because back then, the she-wolves had only wanted what he could offer them—his wealth and prestige. They hadn’t been interested in really being with him as much as they enjoyed telling their friends they were dating him. Once he had learned the truth—he could be a bit dense at times when it came to women’s motives—he hadn’t dated any more she-wolves when he was younger. It hadn’t been until much later that he had dated the first she-wolf he was head over heels for and she’d dumped him. He suspected the second one he had fallen in love with was a case of rebound, needing something from her that she couldn’t give to him.

  In reality, Derek had not been so afraid of Kate’s intentions but of his own. She was an attractive she-wolf, with poise and good sense. But in the matter of male wolves and she-wolves, all that could be tossed out in a heartbeat. Then what? He would have had to let her go? How would that look when someone else wanted to hire her? He hadn’t wanted to do that to her. Sure, she might have worked out fine, but he supposed he would have felt differently if she had been seriously courting a wolf at the time. Or if she’d been mated, then he would have had no difficulty hiring her. It was the fact that they were both single that had given him major heartburn.

  As if Rafe knew just what Derek was thinking, he chuckled. “You need to get your own she-wolf. I’ll ask Jade if she knows of any single human woman who might fit the bill. One who would be fun to date. I still say your best bet is Kate. She’ll be attending the ball already, so she’ll have a new gown for it. She’ll be there for Lexi, but she can be your date too. On the off chance you need saving, she can pose as your bodyguard. Everyone always has a date at these functions. How will it look if you don’t have someone with you at least in the beginning, when you first enter the ballroom? You know how it is. Brenda would drift off and talk to everyone. Kate would do the same thing, keeping an eye on Lexi too. You could even dance with Kate, just to ‘prove’ to anyone else you’re with her.”

  “Okay, thanks. I’ll consider it. Ask Jade first though if she can think of anyone else I might take.”

  A half hour later, Rafe called Derek back. Once Derek learned Jade said she couldn’t think of anyone else but Kate Hanover to go as Derek’s date and Aidan’s mate, Holly, said the same, Derek knew they were attempting to railroad him into taking Kate to the dance. He sighed. Okay, so what harm would there be in asking? Still, he felt it went against his better judgment. He was almost hoping Lexi would tell him that Kate was needed elsewhere and wasn’t attending the ball. Or that Lexi needed her at the ball and so, no, Derek couldn’t take Kate as his date.

  He couldn’t believe how hard this was for him. It shouldn’t have been that big a deal. Hoping he wouldn’t regret it, Derek called Lexi.

  ***

  Kate Hanover and her boss, Lexi Summerfield, who were best friends, were working on Lexi’s website, uploading all the photos of her new fall cosmetic line for her company, Clair de Lune Cosmetics, when Lexi got a call. Kate waited for Lexi to finish her call so they could resume their work when Lexi smiled and glanced at Kate.

  Kate wondered if they’d just gotten another big order for the cosmetics from another department store. Kate sure hoped so; business was booming.

  In the meantime, Ryder Gallagher, Lexi’s mate, brought Spirit, Lexi’s rescue wolf dog, inside. Spirit went straight to Kate to greet her as if she hadn’t seen her in ages—when she’d seen her earlier this morning. Kate had to pet her and hug her. Animals just seemed to gravitate to Kate. She had wanted to keep one of the wolf dogs Lexi had taken in, but they had so many offers to take them, they ended up just keeping Spirit. All the wolf dogs were well loved. Who better to care for them than lupus garous who were part wolves too?

  “I’ll take Spirit out of here so the two of you can work, but she just had to greet you, knowing you were still here while she was outside,” Ryder said.

  “Thanks, Ryder,” Kate said.

  “You’re welcome. Sometimes I’m not sure if she realizes we run the pack, not her.” Ryder smiled, Kate laughed, and then he took Spirit back outside to play with her.

  Ryder was right about that, but Spirit was such a sweet wolf dog, and Kate was glad they had given her a home.

  Kate glanced at Lexi to try to glean what the call was about.

  Smiling at Kate, Lexi raised her brows. “Thanks, yes, I’m sure she would be delighted, and I know I am… Oh, yes, I have enough bodyguard muscle for the night. I’ll let her know… All right, see you at the event tomorrow evening. Good night.” Lexi ended the call. “So you know Derek Spencer, right? One of our billionaire wolf friends.”

  He wasn’t Kate’s billionaire friend. Though Kate knew him, sure. She’d had a huge crush on the wolf from the first time she’d seen him playing fetch with one of his Irish setters on the beach below his estate, though she hadn’t known who he was or that he lived in a home on the cliffs at the beach or that he was a billionaire at the time. But she had smelled that he was a wolf, and that had intrigued her. She’d learned Derek had a home for Irish setter rescues, and he didn’t keep them in kennels. He believed a dog belonged with his master, and that meant in a loving home environment. They weren’t working dogs but companions. She admired him for that and thought he had to be a decent person.