Patrick has resumed human form, but he’s staying in a squat to hide his nakedness. He’ll shift again before they leave.

  “I’ve stopped Stuart’s bleeding,” he says. “The healing process has begun, and he’ll be fine in a few hours.”

  He looks up at me cautiously. I can tell by his tone he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know where to begin or what to think.

  I by contrast, don’t care to think. I don’t care to speak. I take a few staggering steps backwards, away from the grisly scene then I turn and start to run. The change has progressed to the point that I move too fast for human eyes.

  I run up the levee until I cross over to the road, and I keep going. The vampire blood circulates in my muscles, pushing me so fast, the scenery dissolves into a swirl of muddy colors around me. Vaguely in the background I sense the puma tracking me. Patrick’s keeping up, but I’ll lose him.

  My vision is also changing. Instead of blinding darkness, I see clearly in this foggy night. By morning, my vision will be so heightened the sun will hurt my eyes. I’ll have to use sunglasses or stay indoors during midday to avoid blindness. As I run, my old nature dies rapidly, passing out of my system on my sweat. I’m turning into something powerful, something supernatural.

  Run! Shock pushes me on. I haven’t allowed myself to reflect on what happened and how it changes my entire life. Running is all I want to do, so I do it. I run hard. I feel like I could run all the way to Princeton, but instead I run along the Interstate until I’m at Lake Pontchartrain. Turning, I keep going down the long, lakefront road. It’s quiet and deserted.

  A neighborhood is up ahead, but I don’t want to be around people. Turning back south, I keep going until at last I’m on a wide, deserted highway. Slowing to a walk, I look around as I follow the concrete way. It’s vaguely familiar and completely abandoned.

  Trees and scrub bushes grow thick along the roadside. It takes me a little while to figure out where I am. The faded red and blue sign is my only clue. It’s not even a sign anymore. The words are gone, and only a bare white background remains.

  Lettering underneath says “Closed for storm.” I’m in Jazzland, the notorious Six-Flags theme park wiped out by seven feet of water after Hurricane Katrina. It was never rebuilt.

  For more than a decade it has stood here slowly moldering away. Tall, black-iron gates stand open, and I walk through them in the eerie silence. Vaguely, I recall stories about how this place is haunted. Will I meet another monster here? The thought disturbs me, and as I get closer, my muscles tense.

  Ridiculous. I’m a vampire now. I’m one of the strongest monsters in the lineup. The thought makes me cringe. Passing a hand over my face, my mind jumps to what Sloan said. All of our study and knowledge made him as strong as the most powerful old one. I know things about vampires it takes them years to discover about themselves.

  Forcing my brain to calm, to focus, to return from the shock, I sift through my knowledge bank. Vampires don’t care for decaying, ruined places. They don’t hang around corpses. The ones in Lafayette cemetery are exceptions rather than the rule. Vampires prefer luxury and decadence.

  Walking through the abandoned park, I survey the eerie landscape. A steel roller coaster rises above it all like a monument to destruction. Its network of wood and metal girders and beams is a rusted-out crosshatch on the verge of collapse.

  Rippling ribbons of blue streak down the center of the wide path I’m following. It would be festive, but instead it’s covered in a thin layer of black muck left behind by the floodwaters. I keep going.

  My boots make a muffled scuff on the dirty concrete. The air smells of mildew. Several tall, colonial-style buildings stand empty. A concrete clown’s head as large as my body lies on its side smiling grotesquely at the ground.

  Graffiti covers everything. Messages from “Fuck off” to “Where do theme parks go to die?” prove kids frequently visit this place. An abandoned Ferris wheel is across the way from a lifeless swing ride. It’s all been left to fall to dust.

  A large theater draws my attention. The rain has started, so I push inside to take shelter. It’s an enormous, empty metal building. Trash is all over the floor and canned light fixtures hang from ceiling far overhead. The sound of rain echoes in the space.

  Onstage, I run my fingers along the limp edges of a ripped movie screen. Behind it, a circular-metal vortex forms a black hole as big as me.

  Every bit of this decaying, dilapidated park mirrors my emotions. I lean against the wing and slide down to sitting. My knees bend, and I rest my arms on the tops, putting my face in my hands.

  It’s all over. My identity has been stolen from me. My life has been taken and changed. What comes next? Will I grow cruel like the ones I’ve killed? Will I savagely kill and feed on other humans? My fingers tighten over my face, and I don’t know the answer.

  My growl, ricochets through the emptiness. I don’t want to be alone with these thoughts. The second I ease the vice-grip on my mind, the one thing I’ve been holding at bay races to the forefront. It’s the one thing that pushed me harder and harder as I ran. Only, I’ll never run fast enough to escape her.

  “Melissa…” My breath catches.

  Leaning my head back, I lift my chin to the black metal ceiling and close my eyes. The pain of everything I’ve lost is brutal, but the knowledge I can never see her again crushes me. I’m not sure I can survive this.

  “Melissa,” I whisper her name again like a prayer. “My lady, my love…”

  Metal scraping across concrete snaps me to attention. “Who’s there?” I shout.

  My defense mechanism is instinctive. I prepare to fight, when an oversized black Rottweiler trots through the door. Instantly I relax, although I don’t know where this leaves us. Still, after all our years together in the service, if anyone would find me, it would be Stuart.

  He hops onto the stage and walks to where I’m sitting. For a moment he waits, until I slip my arms out of my thin jacket and pass it over. I only vaguely recall I have a gun loaded with silver bullets in my boot. He shifts into human form, wrapping my jacket around his waist.

  “God, you stink!” Going to the opposite wall, he covers his nose with his hand in an almost canine fashion. “Fucking vampire scent.”

  “Thanks.” I give him a bitter glance, but the truth is, I’m glad he’s here. “It’s just one of my new qualities.”

  “Ah, Fuck.” Dropping his hand, he leans his head against the wall behind him. “What the fuck are we going to do with this shit?”

  Lowering my knees, I look down at my hands. “You know what we have to do.”

  “What?” I lift my gaze to him, and I don’t have to clarify before he blasts me with a, “No fucking way! I’m not killing you. God… No. We’re not fucking going there.”

  “It’s the only solution.” My chest is heavy as I look down. “You know I’m right, and if you don’t know it now, you will.”

  “Time out. You’re the one always saying how we don’t kill for sport. If we only kill for justice, what have you done to deserve death?”

  He’s got me there. I don’t have an answer, and for a moment the only sound is the roar of rain on metal roof.

  “Nothing yet, but I will. This nature is too powerful for me. I’ll fight it as long as I can, but ultimately, it will destroy me.”

  He nods. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

  “You and I both know what’s coming.”

  Shifting on the stage floor, he sits forward. “I’m not ready to give up on you. Let’s go through that knowledge base of yours and see what we can find.”

  “It’s no use. I’ve never found a vampire that doesn’t kill.” Resting my head against the wall again, I see the path before me. “I will never be like him.”

  Stuart doesn’t answer right away. He looks at his fist a moment before cutting his eyes to mine. “You’re right. You will never be like him. You’re not like him. He wanted power. He craved the forbidden fruit. You were forced.” Anger simmers in his tone. “You’re going to stay close to Patrick and me.”

  “And when it’s time for me to feed?”

  We’re both stumped by that reality. I can’t control the blood lust, and when it takes over, I won’t be myself, no matter what my motivations are.

  “I only act on instinct around your kind.” He turns up his forearm. “Still, I won’t let my brother go down alone. We took an oath.”

  “I release you from the oath.”

  “You don’t have the authority to do that.” He’s quiet again. “Patrick and I will protect you—from yourself and others. You study your records. Find another way.”

  “It’s impossible. The blood lust is too powerful.”

  Pushing off the floor, he stands. “Then you’ll be the dark knight, preying on the worst criminals. The child molesters.”

  Right. Shaking my head, I exhale a defeated laugh. “Now I’m the scales of justice? I get to decide which criminals can’t be saved?”

  “Don’t give me that bullshit. We’ve both done this long enough to know who can’t be saved. Your buddy Sloan, for starters.”

  He’s right. Even if Sloan weren’t a vampire, chances are good I’d have killed him for what he did to Alison, what he did to Melissa. Although, if he weren’t a vamp, would he have done those things?

  It’s too many questions. I’m overwhelmed by all of it. Squinting my eyes, I press my fingers against my lids. “I need time to think about all of this.”

  He looks down, and for several moments we don’t say anything. It’s like the days when we were in the desert together, overnight watch, and after several moments our breathing is in time. The rain has slacked off. It’s now a peaceful hiss that will soon be gone.

  Stuart shatters that peace. “She wants to see you.”

  My brow lowers. “No.”

  “Patrick’s already told her he’ll bring her here.”

  “What the fuck?” Anger clenches my chest. “He had no right—”

  “Look, she went to him in tears.” He pauses to clear his throat. “You know Patrick can’t handle that. She knows what happened. She blames herself.”

  Those words have me on my feet. The image of Melissa crying rips me in two. I want to hold her, comfort her. I want to make love to her so badly my insides ache.

  “As if she forced my mouth to his neck.” I pace the large stage. “As if she told me I had to go after him. She’s only ever said the opposite. I vowed to save her.” Pausing in my walk, I look at my hands. “It’s the only thing in this whole fucking mess I’m proud of. She’s free.”

  “You’re a fool if you think that.” My eyes snap to his, and he continues. “She’s as tied to you as you are to her. We have to find another way if only for that. You’ll never be free of her.”

  Squeezing my eyes shut, I exhale a bitter laugh. “I never took you for a romantic.”

  “I’m not blind.”

  He waits while I process this new information. Melissa. Every fiber of my being longs for her. My need to hold her is stronger than the blood lust—at least for now. I can’t be sure of anything at this point.

  “I need to control it,” I say. “He can’t bring her here. I need to be able to get away if anything goes wrong.”

  “Say the word.”

  “I’ll go to her.” The more I think about it, it’s the only way that makes sense. “Is she still in Algiers?”

  “As far as I know.”

  Nodding, I look down. “I’ll spend the night here. Tomorrow night, I’ll meet her. But not in the house.”

  “I’ll go ahead of you and prepare them. From what Patrick says, Demeter has a pretty extensive backyard garden, trees and woods.”

  “I’ll be there at dusk.”

  “I’ll let them know.”

  17

  Find a Way

  Melissa

  The flowers in Demeter’s garden change colors as the sun begins to set. Last night we didn’t linger to watch the yellows and pinks turn to greys and black. Tonight nothing could keep me away. My entire body is humming with anticipation. I’ve been out here since five waiting for the sun to finally begin its descent.

  Stuart arrived last night to say Derek would meet me here, and a mixture of excitement and dread surged through my heart. I’m so anxious to see him, hold him, yet, I’m deadly afraid of what he’ll say. I have to be strong until I’ve seen him. Borrowing trouble won’t help me at all.

  When Stuart entered her grandmother’s home, Mariska became strangely quiet. I introduced them, realizing it was the first time they’d met. She murmured something like a hello, and walked to where her grandmother stood, almost like she was a little afraid of him.

  For his part, Stuart seemed slightly taken aback by Mariska. Demeter rose at once and prepared him a supper of the leftover jambalaya we’d shared. Both women acted as if he was royalty in their home, and I chalked it up to his being the alpha. They were curious about him the night before with Patrick.

  I couldn’t be bothered by any of that. I barely slept last night for tossing and turning. When Stuart said Derek was hiding out in the ruined theme park, I almost couldn’t take it. Those creepy remains are the last things he needs in his mental state.

  I recall very well the breakdown that tries to take over after the change, the despair and hopelessness. I’d been convinced my life was over.

  Stuart assured me Derek wouldn’t do anything desperate, and at least I had the promise of tonight’s visit.

  As I slowly walk down the rows of herbs and flowers, the sky deepens into a mixture of purple, red, and even deep green. I’m pulling a sprig of lavender, taking a deep inhale of its woody, relaxing scent when my eye catches movement in the thicket at the end of the yard.

  Instantly my heart beats faster. He’s here. I can barely breathe. Frozen in place, I wait. I’m not sure if he’ll come any closer. I’m not sure how he’ll look to me now. My hands begin to tremble. I don’t know how much more of this I can take when he steps out beside an enormous live oak tree.

  Our eyes meet, and everything else disappears. He’s so beautiful to me. He’s even more seductive than when I was the vampire and he was my prey.

  He seems larger now, dressed in dark jeans and a black V-neck tee. Heavy, black boots are on his feet, and at first he only stands in the shadow of the tree limbs, studying me.

  “Hello,” I say, taking a cautious step toward him.

  “Wait.” His deep voice floods my insides. “I’m not sure you should come too close.”

  His words don’t stop me. My need for him drives me forward. We’re here, on the edge of night, in a thicket where the city loses its fight with the wilderness.

  I don’t stop until we’re a breath apart. I can see his chest moving as rapidly as mine. I can see in his eyes he’s barely hanging on to control.

  “You saved me.” My voice is high and soft in contrast to his. “Thank you.”

  “Melissa…” It’s a whispered groan as his eyes slide closed. His chin drops, and I can’t take it anymore.

  I reach out to place my hand against his cheek. “You’re still warm.”

  In a sweep, I’m in his arms, held firmly against his chest. His face is in my hair, and I hear him inhale deeply before kissing my temple, my brow, his lovely beard scuffing my skin.

  “I can hear your heart beating so fast,” he murmurs. “I can still taste your blood.”

  His words don’t frighten me. I’m on fire. I want to make love to him. I want him to bite me. I want to ascend to that plane with him and fly through galaxies of bliss like we’ve done in the past.

  But he stops. His lips still. His entire body turns to stone. “I have to leave. I came to say goodbye.”

  “No!” My chest collapses as tears fill my eyes.

  Struggling against his hold, I twist until he lets me go. “You can’t leave me. Don’t you see? That’s how he wins. If you leave, it’s Sloan’s ultimate victory. He did this to keep us apart!”

  Derek’s beautiful grey eyes look deeply into mine, and I ache seeing his internal torment. “I can’t control this, and I won’t risk hurting you. There’s no other way.” His voice lowers. “I’ve been alone before. I just have to do it again.”

  “You would never hurt me.” Stepping forward, I tuck my head under his chin and slide my arms around his waist. “There’s always another way.”

  He starts to embrace me, but resists. “You don’t understand. I’ve tasted your blood. Your blood is part of what made me. I want you so badly, I can’t promise what I won’t do.”

  A shiver of desire moves through me. “I do understand. I’ve been where you are. Let me help you.”

  He gives in, and for a few golden moments he holds me.

  “My humanity kept you safe from me.” My voice is consoling, soothing. “I knew I couldn’t live without you, even in that state.”

  “That’s the point.” He pulls back. Large hands cup my cheeks, and he forces me to look at him. “No humanity is left in me. Melissa, I would steal your life with no remorse. I would be the most selfish monster you’ve ever encountered.”

  “Sloan was the most selfish monster I’ve ever encountered,” I argue. “I would give you everything. You only have to ask.”

  He’s completely apart from me now, taking several steps into the woods. His head drops, and his hands go into his long, wavy locks. Pushing them back, he straightens, his broad shoulders, his beautiful back to me.

  “Stuart wants to see if…” He exhales deeply. “If I can’t find a way to handle this, to control it, I’m ending it.”

  “NO!” Ice floods my veins, and I rush forward, clutching his arms, my cheek against his back. “Come back to me. I’ll wait for you.”

  “I won’t take your life.”

  They’re his final words before he steps out of my grasp and disappears into the darkness.

  I try to follow him, but he’s too fast, moving at vampire speed. The woods are empty, and I’m alone. Still I push forward, needing to feel him, dying at the thought he might end his life. Doesn’t he understand? By doing so, he would end mine as well.