She has bright red hair, and I don’t bother correcting her. I’m distracted by memories of a smart, pretty woman I almost kissed last night. I push against these thoughts. As tempting as Raquel is to me, I have to keep it professional.

  “That tube top should be illegal.” Marley’s voice cuts through the noise of the bar. “Sit that fire crotch down by me.” The girl makes a loud noise of annoyance, but he keeps going. “Do the drapes match the carpet?”

  Halle starts laughing. They’re all three laughing when I notice a guy at the bar scowling at Red. Shit. He could be her boyfriend or her husband or just some drunk asshole who thinks she was with him first. I’m not interested in finding out.

  Fishing out my wallet, I flag the waitress so we can go before any punches are thrown. I hate nights like this, but we’re in a situation. I can’t afford any more bad press because of him. I don’t want to hear about it from my dad, and I don’t want it getting back to clients.

  I’ll walk him through this valley until we’re on the other side.

  “Where’s a good rave club around here?” Halle is still perched on his lap, but Red is leaning on the table looking at her phone. Neither strikes me as very intelligent.

  Halle leans forward. “You want to move it, move it?”

  She laughs loudly, and Marley’s eyebrows shoot up.

  He points at me. “Did you hear that? What she just said?”

  Unfortunately, yes. “I hope I never hear it again.”

  “Ah, fuck ‘em. I bet those guys liked it.” He looks up at Red. “Moto-Moto.”

  Her nose wrinkles, and she yells back. “You like Madagascar or somethin’? That’s my son’s favorite movie.”

  The waitress returns my check, and I quickly sign it, standing and catching Marley’s eye. “Let’s go for a walk.”

  I expect him to fight me, but he doesn’t. He simply stands, moving Halle into his empty seat and follows me to the door. It’s a Friday night, so the foot-traffic is thick. Warm winds push past us, still I shove my hands in the pockets of my slacks. Marley digs in his pocket and pulls out that half-smoked blunt from before, quickly firing it up.

  I’m not unhappy about this find. I hope it’ll make him sleep. God knows I’m tired, but I’ll keep going as long as he does. I’m not letting him slip out on me again.

  He hands it over, and I take a pull.

  “Remember Mexico?” His hands are free, and he’s moving fast.

  “I’ll never forget it.” I pass it back.

  “Yeah, looks like I won’t either.” He inhales deeply, speaking in a strained voice. “They say cocaine kills your memories, but it doesn’t kill mine.”

  Regret flashes in my stomach. When we first got back, they gave us all medals and stuck us all in therapy. I never could let myself off the hook enough to get anything out of it, but now I’m trying to remember what the therapist said.

  “The only way to get peace is to find it within yourself.” It sounds like bullshit to me, but I’ve heard it helps people.

  “I’ll never have peace.”

  I can’t tell him I’ll never have it either. Somebody has to be positive, and Taron isn’t here, not that I’m sure he’s feeling so high on life these days. Still, it’s not my style to be Pollyanna.

  We’re in Cumberland Park, with the bridge to the right and the baseball stadium across from us. Lights flicker off the ripples on the black water, and I want to go to bed, sleep off this shit.

  Marley’s eyes are fixed on the dark currents, and he stands up on the bottom rung of the metal fence. “Sometimes I wish they’d finished the job.”

  “That’s the lack of sleep talking.”

  The sound of live music and people on the streets echo around us, behind us. The river silently moves below, deceptively peaceful. It’s all so oblivious.

  “Sometimes I close my eyes, and that hood is over my head. The torture wakes me up.”

  I look up at him, and the street lights cast long shadows down his cheeks.

  Reaching up, I grasp his forearm. “Get down. It’s time to rest.”

  “I’ve been hearing noises outside my door at night. Someone’s trying to break in.”

  I’m not sure if it’s the cocaine making him paranoid or if he’s having sleep-deprivation issues. “Come to my place and spend the night.”

  He shakes his head. “I’ve got to get home and make sure all my shit’s okay.”

  I’m frustrated by this, but he’s a grown-ass man. I can’t force him to spend the night with me. “I’m taking you home, and you’re going to stay there. Taron’s picking you up in the morning for the picnic.”

  He nods, looking ahead of us at the pavement. I wish I could take his keys. I wish he hadn’t done that line of blow. At least, I guess that’s what he did. Who the hell knows?

  “Are you going to be alone forever?” He looks over at me, and I pull back.

  “While we’re on the subject.”

  “You’re never with anyone. I can’t remember the last time you were with a woman.”

  He wasn’t watching last night.

  Images of Raquel flicker through my mind. I see her pretty smile, her bright eyes. I remember the feeling of her in my arms. I wanted to kiss her so much last night. I wonder if I’ll be strong enough to resist her next time… If there’s a next time.

  I think of how smart she is, how strong. She’s supporting herself and her sister now. I wonder if I could take care of her, make things right. I wonder if she’d let me…

  Shaking these thoughts away, I focus on the road. We drive the few blocks away from downtown to the high-rise where he lives. Leaving the car at the curb, I walk him inside and make sure he gets on the elevator.

  “Taron will be here at ten.”

  He waves at me and the doors close. I wait as the numbers rise until he’s at the top. I wait a few minutes longer until I’m satisfied he’s in for the night. I’m dead tired.

  Driving home, I know it would be wrong to bring anyone into this life.

  This fighting isn’t going to stop. These nightmares don’t end. Marley’s never gotten over what happened in that Mexico jungle. Taron still carries the scars. We all do.

  But I won’t let us go down. I won’t lose my men. We have to find a way to live with the past and keep going. Knowing our reality fuels my drive and keeps me arm’s length from anybody who might be hurt by us…

  I have to focus on closing this deal, bringing in this windfall.

  I owe it to them. I owe it to me, and we’re going to get it.

  9

  Raquel

  Sandra unfolds metal lawn chairs and arranges them under sprawling oak trees. “It’s going to be hot as the devil’s backside by noon.”

  I do not think about Patton’s sexy ass when she says this.

  Okay, I do, and I swallow a laugh.

  “What?” She grins at me, and I shrug.

  “That’s hot.” Saying that makes me want to laugh more, so I change the subject. “What are we going to do out here? Is there an agenda or anything?”

  “Oh, it’s a fun day. There’s drinks… One of the guys will grill hot dogs and hamburgers. Somebody usually rents a boat for water skiing…”

  “I’ve never skied.” I make a sad face.

  “You can sit on the pier and tan with me.” She leans in and winks. “Also known as drinking and watching all the hot guys.”

  “I can do that!”

  “After a few bevs, who knows what might happen.”

  My eyebrows rise, and I watch as she pulls out a red and white checked table cloth and spreads it over one table. I grab another and help set up under the trees. We’re nearly done when Dean skips up in gingham shorts and a pink tee.

  “Who wants a Spritz Veneziano!” He hauls out a pitcher of bright orange beverage with ice cubes and orange slices in it.

  “What is that?” I take one of the plastic tumblers he’s passing out.

  “Prosecco and Campari with orange wedges.”

  He pours us all a healthy serving and then steps back. “Girl, you are putting out some fierce fun in the sun vibes. I absolutely love this little getup.”

  “Really?” I look down at the white eyelet sundress I pulled over the high-waisted white bikini I’m wearing. “I didn’t want to be too revealing, it being my first work function and all.”

  “You look amazing, and with that hair down over one shoulder. I’m getting so many classic Hollywood vibes, I want to paint your lips velvet red and give you some cat-eye sunglasses.”

  “Oh! I’ve got that covered.” I reach into my canvas bag and pull out heavy white-framed sunglasses.

  Sandra and Dean both let out a squeal. “Yes!”

  “Let’s get out on that pier and sunbathe!” Sandra is in a yellow cover-up over a red one-piece, and I’m instantly self-conscious.

  “Should I have worn a one-piece?” I follow behind her, carrying my own lounge chair. Dean is with us doing the same.

  “You look amazing. Relax and have fun.”

  Before long, we’re all camped out on the pier, covered with sunscreen and sipping our drinks through paper straws. It feels like something out of Mad Men when I look up and see Taron entering the picnic area under the trees with Patton right behind him.

  My stomach does a little jump, when I see Patton’s wearing shorts and an unbuttoned short-sleeve shirt over a white tank. Taron is dressed similarly, but I only have eyes for the devil these days. They place a cooler under the shade, and Taron walks over to the metal grill. Sandra waves from where we are.

  “Let us know if you need any help,” she yells.

  “We’re good!” Taron yells back.

  Patton’s standing beside him with his hands on his hips looking in our direction. With his dark aviators on, I can’t tell if he’s looking at us or admiring the view of the lake, so I raise my sunglasses. Our eyes meet, and my insides feel all hot and tingly. I bite my lip, hoping he’ll take that shirt off and get in the water. I don’t even realize he’s still looking at me as I do it, but his brow lowers and the corner of his mouth quirks up.

  Fire blazes in my stomach. Is he smiling at me?

  Just then Jerry comes tromping through the hedge like some kind of raging bull, and I close my eyes, lowering my sunglasses, and lying back in the chair. I turn my face toward the enormous lake and take a sip of my drink.

  Jerry is the last person I want to think about today. Him and his grabby hands.

  “How about some music, girls?” Dean switches on the radio, and Steve Miller Band drifts up around us.

  “Perfect.” Sandra smiles, nodding her head up and down. “Give us all a refill, Dee. I’ve got to get the recipe for this stuff. What did you call it?”

  “Spritz Veneziano.” He leans over and freshens all our glasses. “It’s traditionally made with Aperol, which is an Italian aperitif, but it can be hard to find. Campari works just as well.”

  “I love it.” I take another sip, stretching my arms over my head.

  It really is delicious and has me just relaxed enough I don’t even mind when Jerry comes straight out to where we’re all relaxing on the pier.

  “What’s happening out here and how do I join the fun?” He waggles his eyebrows, but I keep my gaze on the kid riding a jet ski on the wrong side of the buoys.

  “I figured you’d want to drink beer.” Dean squints up at him, lifting his horn-rimmed Ray-Bans.

  “I have beer.” He trudges back up the hill to the shade and digs a beer out of a white Styrofoam cooler.

  Renée would have a cow about how Styrofoam never degrades, how it emits hydrofluorocarbons, which deplete the ozone layer… Jeez get out of my head, Renée!

  While I’m gazing absently, Patton strolls down to where we’re all lounging. “How’s the water?”

  “How about you get in and let us know.” Sandra’s teasing him, but I hope he does it. I’ve been dying to see him without a shirt.

  “I’m helping Taron with the grill.” He looks back toward the trees. “Any special requests?”

  You on a cracker. I cough a little giggle out of my thought, and he looks down at me.

  “Did you want something?” His voice is not angry today.

  Oh, it’s just too easy. “I’m sure whatever you have works for me.”

  Dean does a very poor job hiding his snicker, but Patton takes it in stride. I don’t. I feel my face flushing hot. I might be a little buzzed, but I’m not drunk enough to flirt with him in front of everybody and not be self-conscious.

  Patton’s brow lowers, and he glances out toward the water “If you do get in, watch out for that kid. He’s riding that wave runner in the swim zone.”

  “I don’t think we’re getting in the water.” Sandra smiles up at him. “But we’ll be safe.”

  I watch through my dark shades as my sexy boss makes his way back to the grill. His ass is so fine in those shorts. Sandra’s chuckle snaps me out of it.

  “What?” I look up at her, wondering what I missed.

  “They could light the grill with the chemistry between you two.”

  My eyes go wide. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I look around quickly to make sure no one is listening.

  “Don’t worry, everybody has their own problems. My job is to keep an eye on the office, and trust me.” She leans closer. “I’m getting an eye full.”

  I force a laugh. “There’s nothing to see. I’ve only been here three days, and I’ve been doing my best to learn and catch up—”

  “You don’t have to be defensive with me. Patton Fletcher is one hell of a sexy-assed man, and trust me, he’s noticed you, too. I’d love to see him blow off some steam. I have a theory he needs it bad.”

  Warmth blooms in my stomach at her words, but I won’t admit it. “I’m just trying to do a good job.”

  She takes a sip from her orange and white striped straw, giving me a wink. “You’re doing an excellent job.”

  The sound of a motor growing louder draws our attention, and Jerry glides up to the pier in a speedboat. “All aboard!”

  Dean is off his feet at once, skipping over to the cruiser. Once inside, he lifts what looks like a small surfboard over his head. “Wakeboarding! Let’s do this!”

  I look over at Sandra, who’s getting out of her chair. “Are you going to try it?”

  She laughs, shaking her head. “I’ll ride on the boat, but I’m too old to risk breaking my neck.”

  “I don’t want to lose my top.” Pushing out of the chair, I follow her.

  “That would definitely cause a commotion.”

  As soon as we’re all onboard, Jerry steers us out into the middle of the lake. We pass the wave runner still getting too close to the shallows, and I see it’s a pre-teen boy. He doesn’t even slow down before taking a hard turn and shooting off towards the other side of the lake. He’s going so fast, the wave runner looks like it’s hovering over the ripples.

  Dean prepares to get on the wakeboard, and Sandra takes the wheel while Jerry makes his way to where I’m standing in the back.

  “What do you think of your first company picnic?” He smiles and reaches for my waist.

  “So far so good.” I smile and step to the side, avoiding his embrace.

  Why does it seem the guys you don’t want to touch you are always so eager to get handsy?

  He runs his eyes up and down me, biting his lip. “Classic pinup.”

  “I don’t know if I’d go that far.” I look down at my full-coverage, white bikini wishing I’d brought my dress.

  “Want another drink? I’ve got beer here in the cooler.” He lifts the lid, and I see Coronas mixed with Budweiser’s and Bud Lights.

  “No, thanks. I’ll just take a water if you’ve got it.”

  Sandra calls out from the front. “Hang on! Here we go.”

  I look back to see Dean in the water holding the line. The side of the board breaks the surface in front of him. I’m still looking back when Sandra floors it, and I stagger into Jerry.

  “Oh, shit!” I cry as he catches me around the waist, sliding his hands up to cup my breasts. “Let me go!” I shove at his hands.

  “Hey, take it easy. I’m just making sure you don’t fall.”

  I’m pissed now. He knows exactly what he’s doing. “Copping a feel is not making sure I don’t fall.”

  He laughs, sliding his hands down to my bare midriff. “You’re going to be working with Europeans. You’d better get used to being touched by men.”

  My forehead is hot, and I want to smack him across the face. “I think I know how to do my job.”

  Sandra lets off the throttle and looks over her shoulder smiling broadly. “How’d he do?”

  “Did you see that?” Dean shouts from the water like a little kid.

  I shove Jerry’s hands off me and pick my way to Sandra. “I didn’t get to see it. Can you go again?”

  “See if Dean’s up for it!” She has no idea what just happened between Jerry and me, and I’m not interested in returning to the stern. “He can’t hear us from here.”

  Pressing my lips together, I stay low and make my way to the back of the boat. Of course, bending over makes the top of my breasts more visible, and Jerry’s right there grinning at me like an asshole.

  I ignore him, focusing on Dean. “Want to go again?”

  “Yeah!” He gives me an enthusiastic thumbs-up, which I relay to Sandra.

  She nods and whips her head around, hitting the gas a little slower this time. Still, the sudden movement throws me off balance, and Jerry is right there to catch me.

  He only touches my arm, but I’m still pissed. “Hey, I’m just trying to help you.”

  “I’ve had enough boating for one day.” I walk over to the side and jump into the water.

  At once, I realize my mistake. They fly on, Dean jumping over the wake with the surfboard, leaving me in the deep waters, a good distance from the pier. It only looks closer in the boat.

  Fuck, I think to myself and start swimming.

  Growing up near the ocean, I swam all the time, but I’m far from the pier, and it’s dangerous to be in a lake outside the swim zone. I look up and see that fucking wave runner cutting through the water between me and the pier. I also see a dark-haired figure striding across the boards, his attention fixed on me. Patton.