He spat it out. “Death. Darkness. Hatred. You stay with me, that’s what will happen to you.”

  He stopped, looking down at me. His eyes were black, clouded over.

  I reached up without thinking.

  I cupped the side of his face.

  “The world is already fascinated with you.” Those were my words. More came out. “And whatever comes our way, I will handle it. I’m here. I’m with you. And, my God, Kash. If you try to leave me, I won’t have it. You got that?”

  I could speak just as harshly.

  He didn’t say anything. Neither did I.

  We were glaring at each other.

  The room was shrinking in on us, and then the doorbell rang.

  Kash cursed, his eyes closing. His head tipped back, but it rang again. And again.

  Stalking over, he pressed the button, then went stock-still.

  Blood drained from his face.

  Every hair on my body stood straight up.

  I was standing at the end of the hall, and I stepped toward him, out of instinct. “Kash?”

  He didn’t answer. He didn’t look at me.

  Whoever it was, they’d gotten past the front desk. They were on our floor, just on the other side of our door.

  Cursing, he wrenched open the door and faced off against whoever was on the other side.

  “Get. Gone!”

  Their response was quieter, calmer. “Hello, Kash.” A man. An older man.

  Ice ran down my spine. I was moving faster, hurrying to be at his side, because this time Kash needed me. Then Kash was moving. He blocked me, holding me back. He slammed the door shut, engaging all of the locks. He flicked off the security camera feed so I couldn’t see, then hit the buzzer. “Call the police. Now.”

  He held me back until we heard the elevator open, close, and travel down.

  I stepped away from him, getting a glimpse of what a cornered feral animal might look like. Unease traced through me. They were whispering at me, in the back of my mind, riding down my spine.

  I asked, “Who was that?”

  He didn’t look me in the eye, but his hand tightened over mine.

  “My grandfather.”

  BONUS

  Bailey’s Letter to Kash

  I told you before that I wanted more nights with you.

  I demand more nights with you. I demand longer nights with you.

  I see the outside you. I demand to know the inside you.

  I want the words, the actions, the secrets. I want the you and me that no one else will ever know.

  I want to hold your hand. I want to feel your hugs.

  I want to get cards from you. I want dinners and roses and chardonnay. I want champagne, but I want the other good stuff. I want the sunset hand-holding. I want the sunrise coffee together. I want the laughter in the day, flirty texts, dirty sexts.

  I want it all, and I want them with you.

  I want to know your haunts. I want to tremble from them, alongside you.

  I want the full picture of how you became you, from your first memory to your last memory, and when a new day starts and when that memory refreshes, I want those too.

  I am greedy because I want all of you. Not some of you. Not a third of you. Not the good part of you, or the bad part of you. I want the lover, the friend, the part that will walk with me wherever I go, the part that will ride next to me, the part that will fight with me, for me, beside me.

  I know you think I need more time. I don’t.

  I know you think I was scarred. I wasn’t.

  I know you think I need to heal still. Fuck no.

  I’m good to go, so besides all the other gushy stuff in this letter, I want you to come over here.

  I want you to take me, make me yours, because I already am.

  I’m yours, Kash. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I love you.

  So fucking give me you, okay?

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  To my agent, holy crapola, Kimberly! Thank you!

  To Monique! To everyone who worked on this book and helped get it where it is. To Macmillan.

  To the ladies in Tijan’s Crew. To the group in Tijan’s Audiomen. Just, whoa, to everyone.

  Every author dreams of going to a bookstore, walking in, and finding their book on the shelves. This has happened sporadically for me; I’ve mostly been an indie author until this publisher decided to take a chance on me.

  I’m really truly hoping everyone loved Bailey and Kash as much as I loved writing them! I’m grateful and happy to have been able to bring this entire world and cast from The Insiders to life, and I hope you guys continue on with the next book in their series.

  Bring on some graduate school!

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  TIJAN is a New York Times bestselling author who writes suspenseful and unpredictable novels. Her characters are strong, intense, and gut-wrenchingly real with a little bit of sass on the side. Tijan began writing later in life and, once she started, she was hooked. She’s written multi-bestsellers including the Carter Reed series, the Fallen Crest series, and Ryan’s Bed, among others. She is currently writing to her heart’s content in northern Minnesota with an English cocker spaniel she adores. You can sign up for email updates here.

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  CONTENTS

  Title Page

  Copyright Notice

  Dedication

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Fourteen

  Fifteen

  Sixteen

  Seventeen

  Eighteen

  Nineteen

  Twenty

  Twenty-One

  Twenty-Two

  Twenty-Three

  Twenty-Four

  Twenty-Five

  Twenty-Six

  Twenty-Seven

  Twenty-Eight

  Twenty-Nine

  Thirty

  Thirty-One

  Thirty-Two

  Thirty-Three

  Thirty-Four

  Thirty-Five

  Thirty-Six

  Thirty-Seven

  Thirty-Eight

  Thirty-Nine

  Forty

  Forty-One

  Forty-Two

  Forty-Three

  Forty-Four

  Forty-Five

  Forty-Six

  Forty-Seven

  Forty-Eight

  Forty-Nine

  Fifty

  Fifty-One

  Fifty-Two

  Fifty-Three

  Fifty-Four

  Fifty-Five

  Fifty-Six

  Fifty-Seven

  Bonus

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Copyright

  This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  First published in the United States by St. Martin’s Griffin, an imprint of the St. Martin’s Publishing Group

  THE INSIDERS. Copyright © 2021 by Tijan. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Publishing Group, 120 Broadway, New York, NY 10271.

  www.stmartins.com

  Cover design by Ervin Serrano

  Cover images: woman on left © Sofia Zhuravetc/Shutterstock.com; clothes and hair © Ada Summer/Getty Images; woman in middle © Holubenko Natalia/Getty Images; man in turtleneck © Kiselev Andrey Valerevich/Shutterstock.com

  The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:

  Names: Tijan, author.

  Title: The insiders / Tijan.

  Description: First edition. | New York: St. Martin’s Griffin, 2021. |

  Identifiers: LCCN 2020056325 | ISBN 9781250210777 (trade paperback) | ISBN 9781250210784 (ebook)

  Subjects: GSAFD: Romantic suspense fiction.

  Classification: LCC PS3620.I49 I57 2021 | DDC 813/.6—dc23

  LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020056325

  e-ISBN 9781250210784

  Our ebooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, extension 5442, or by email at MacmillanSpecialMarkets@macmillan.com.

  First Edition: 2021

 

 

  Tijan, The Insiders

 

 

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