“Stop,” I snarled. “Talking.”

  “You’re no longer Car to me anymore. It’s only Carson from now on. And I’m no longer Ben to you.”

  I gave him a scathing look. “You never were, Benjamin.”

  He shut up after that, thank God. If he hadn’t, I’d have had to involve the police in his murder, by me.

  I wasn’t kidding.

  I’d never had a reaction to a guy like that, ever. But that man was in me.

  He was still in me when they left, when I booted Benjamin out, and when I performed the last set of tests on her.

  I wasn’t sure he was ever going to leave.

  Chapter Seven

  JONAH

  Melissa had a lovely funeral. Her family was there. Her friends from high school and college. A couple medical students from our year.

  Not me.

  Her family didn’t want me there.

  But I was still present. I was in an SUV, parked across the street. My brothers were with me. They couldn’t keep me all the way away.

  And I was wrong. She had a beautiful funeral.

  * * * *

  “What are you going to do?” Kai asked me.

  Sometime later—weeks? A month? I wasn’t sure—I was with Kai at the house in Vancouver.

  Riley and Kai’s two children were here, playing. They’d kept me distracted. There were lots of tea parties with Brooklyn, but not with Blake. His nickname was Blade, after one of Riley’s friends. He was a hellion, and had no time for tea with his younger sister. He’d wanted hide-and-go-seek on the hundred-acre woods we owned. He did it up right, too. Camouflage. He came out wearing a parka with leaves and sticks glued on the back.

  Riley had choked up. She was so proud.

  Kai cleared his throat, an expectant look on his face. He was asking me this question because my time was up. I had to go back to being a doctor or decide on a different path.

  “I’m going to go back.” I decided as I said this, and it felt right.

  “You sure?” he asked. “You don’t have to do medicine. Or you don’t have to do it now. You can take time off.”

  I shook my head, feeling it in my gut. “Melissa would be pissed if I did that. I need work, to be honest. I’ll be a better surgeon, for her.”

  He nodded. That was done.

  * * * *

  “Brooke called, asked why you aren’t returning her calls,” Tanner informed me over the phone. I’d been back at work for two months now. And I’d been avoiding Brooke’s calls. She’d just had a high-risk pregnancy. Millie was still in the NICU.

  “I don’t want her to know,” I told him. “The stress for her? I don’t want to be a part of that.”

  Tanner sighed. “You sure?”

  “I’m sure. Tell her I’m busy. Tell her I love her, but I can’t talk to her about this. I will, just not yet. She needs to focus on her family, on her new little girl.”

  “Okay.”

  I heard the sarcasm in his voice, and I almost smiled. Almost.

  Brooke probably wouldn’t believe him. “You need to sell it, Tanner. I mean it. If anyone can, it’s you.”

  “Riley wants to tell her.”

  Kai’s wife. I loved her to death, but I shook my head as I held the phone up. “She can’t. I can’t handle Brooke falling apart over me. Put it that way to her.”

  “I will.” He paused. “I’ll sell it, Jonah. Don’t worry. We love you. Just know that.”

  I was loved. I felt it every day from my siblings. I’d never thought otherwise.

  It was a blessing.

  My throat swelled. “I love you, too.”

  Chapter Eight

  JONAH

  Six months later

  I was finishing dictating my notes when my phone lit up.

  Crowler: Hey! We’re heading your way. You don’t get a say. We know people, know you’re not on call this weekend. We need group time together. Badly.

  I’d had the phone on silent while I was working, and now that I saw this text, I could see more behind it, including one from my brother.

  Tanner: In town. Want to meet up.

  I thumbed a response.

  Me: Finishing my notes. Where are you?

  Crowler calling.

  I picked up, leaning back. “Hey, man.”

  “Bennett! You texted back.”

  I just laughed, because this was Crowler. He was nicknamed Crowler for a reason. It was a long story, but it had to do with a night of howling and crawling.

  There might’ve been drinking involved, too.

  And Hawaiian shirts.

  He and some others had been in my core unit from the first year of med school. It was rare, but sometimes we got an overlapping weekend off.

  Seemed like this was one of them.

  Beep beep.

  I put the phone on speaker, but checked the incoming text.

  Tanner: Not an option. Tell me where you are.

  Fuck’s sakes. My family probably had an app on my phone to show when I was using it.

  “What are you guys thinking for tonight? Who’s all in town?”

  “Well, Bubs. Carlster. Babs. Yours truly, and uh, oh, Samsonite.”

  Those nicknames were used only by our group, and only when we were together.

  Bubs and Babs were a couple, like Melissa and I had been. Unlike Missy, Babs was still breathing. Pain sliced through me, but I swallowed, pushing it down.

  After Melissa died, her family wanted nothing to do with me. I tried calling her parents a few times, and Oliver more than a few times, but her dad told me to leave them alone.

  I did. I left everyone else alone, too, my family included.

  They still hadn’t found Melissa’s killer, and until they did, I wanted nothing to do with any of them. Might not make sense, but it was the only thing that pushed the burn down inside of me. Maybe I was punishing my family—I was punishing myself for sure—but the need to hurt had only grown in the last nine months. Doing medicine was the only thing keeping me going.

  But I could stop, would stop, when Kai brought me Melissa’s killer.

  After that, well… I didn’t care. I just wanted her killer.

  Kai had said he’d do it, but it’d been nine fucking months.

  Tanner reaching out was for Tanner. If they had the guy, Kai would be in touch. That’s how Kai was.

  “Hey,” Crowler broke into my thoughts. “Samsonite wants me to ask if you’re up for a trip this weekend.”

  I frowned, coming back to our phone conversation. “I thought you said you’re coming to town?”

  “We are, but Samsonite just got off the phone with someone, and she got tickets for a Mustangs game in Kansas City. Want to go?”

  “How many tickets?”

  I heard him echoing the question to her, and heard her response, “Eight.”

  He came back. “Eight, so all of us and if we wanted to bring a couple friends.”

  “How’d she get eight tickets to a professional hockey game?”

  “Not sure…”

  She said something to him on his end, and he came back. “Her sister is banging one of the players. I guess he hooked her up. You in?”

  My phone buzzed again.

  Tanner: Time’s up.

  I growled internally as I stood, grabbing my things. “I’m coming, but we gotta leave now.”

  “Sure thing, but—”

  “Text me the details. I’m on the move now.”

  “Okay, Budderoni. Bring on the puck bunnies.”

  I snorted because he had no idea what that actually meant.

  I left the clinic, went to the apartment I was using, and packed a bag. When I’d finished, I checked outside. Kai had a guard on me, as he had all year. Ezekiel. I’d let him stay, trying to do things the safe way, until today. He was parked in the back corner of the lot, and I could see him on the phone. Maybe he was talking to Tanner, maybe not, but this weekend, I didn’t want anyone tailing me.

  When I was working, he stayed a reasonable distance away. That had been my only stipulation. Maybe I should give up medicine, but I hadn’t gotten to that yet. And until I did, I didn’t want my coworkers, colleagues, classmates, and patients to know who I was.

  The reason Melissa was dead.

  Chapter Nine

  JONAH

  I ditched Ezekiel in the parking lot outside my building and met my friends at the airport. They’d been heading my way when Samsonite got the tickets, and because the Minneapolis airport was the biggest one in the area, I met them there. By the time I checked in and got through security, the plane was starting to board as I got to the gate.

  “Bennett!” Crowler was the first to greet me, his hand up as he stood in line.

  I met it, fitting my palm into his, and we clasped each other across the back.

  Behind him, Bubs and Babs gave me a hug. Neither knew that this killed me, because they were supposed to be Melissa and me.

  I gave each of them a smile and a hug back.

  Carlster was next, sporting a full beard.

  Then came Samsonite, famous for quoting Dumb and Dumber for an entire evening once, and the only one who didn’t give me a warm greeting. Instead, she gave me an uneasy smile, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. “Jonah.”

  I nodded. “Yo, Sams.”

  It’d been like this since Melissa died. She and Sams had been roommates.

  I shared a look with Carlster, who only raised his eyebrows with a small shake of his head. He and Sams had some type of relationship, but I didn’t know what it was. He moved forward in line, along with the others, and Sams moved behind me.

  I glanced back over my shoulder. “So your sister scored these tickets?”

  She nodded, looking away. “You know hockey?”

  “I know a bit. Which player?”

  “Franklin?”

  I nodded. He was good. He wasn’t the team’s star, but he was one of their best. “I think I read he was recently divorced.”

  “They aren’t serious, but my sister...” She looked past me, hugging herself. “She knows how hard our stuff is and offered it up as a getaway. I’m glad you came.” Her gaze found mine on that last statement.

  Right. Melissa.

  I stiffened. “It’s been a hard…year.”

  “I’m glad you stayed in medicine.”

  I frowned at her.

  She saw my look. “I mean, you could’ve taken time off, but then sometimes you don’t come back.”

  I nodded. “It’s the only thing keeping me going.”

  “I get that.”

  * * * *

  Because life is like that, Sams had the seat next to mine on the plane. Halfway through the flight, she turned to me. “She talked to me about you, you know.”

  My eyebrows furrowed. “About what?”

  “That you never talked about your family.”

  “Oh.”

  “I have friends at your clinic, and I asked them,” she blurted. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to pry into your life, but they told me they never see you with anyone. Like, around town. Your clinic is in a small town. They’d know. Are you…” She stopped, staring ahead at the seat before her. “Are you alone going through this? You shouldn’t be. I… I loved Missy, but I have Carl, and I have my family. You shouldn’t be alone, Jonah.”

  I gave her a smile, knowing she was trying to read me, and I didn’t let anything show. Everything was locked up inside. Like a jail cell. I’d spent my whole life perfecting this skill.

  “I’m doing okay, Sams.”

  That was all I said. I’d been lying since I started medical school, but that didn’t mean I enjoyed adding extra lies on top of the necessary ones.

  She searched me, studying, but after a bit, she let out a breath of air. Her smile seemed more genuine, more relaxed. She slouched back in her chair. “Good. I didn’t… I mean, I just wanted to do what Melissa would want. She’d worry about you. She’d want you to be with people who love you.”

  Fuck me.

  I gave her another one of my easygoing grins. “Can you believe we actually have a full weekend away? How about getting some drinks and starting it off the right way?”

  She hit the button for the flight attendant. “I am down for that.”

  * * * *

  When we landed, everyone turned their phones on.

  I didn’t.

  I bought a prepaid one on the way out of the airport. I’d be using it for the weekend.

  “What happened to your other phone?” Crowler asked when I gave him the number.

  “Stopped working. I’ll take it in when we get back, get it fixed.”

  His head bobbed up and down. “Cool. We got an Airbnb for the weekend, but there’s a pub not far from it. Want to grab a beer while the chicks get ready?”

  “I will get a drink wherever you want this weekend.”

  “Right on, my medicinal brother. Right. Fucking. On.”

  Chapter Ten

  JONAH

  Turns out I was the only one who understood hockey.

  When we got to the game, I tried to explain the rules and penalties, but by the time we got through the first period, the girls told me to save my breath.

  Even so, watching hockey was a rush. I’d forgotten how much I used to love this sport. In Canada, hockey was a way of life, a religion to some.

  I’d never played. No way would they let a Bennett play. The other players wouldn’t have touched the ice if I got on it. So I watched and cheered, got drunk with Tanner a few times.

  I missed those times.

  A pang filled my chest.

  I missed my family. I missed Brooke, Tanner, Kai.

  Melissa.

  The arena melted away for a second.

  “Jonah, Jonah, Jonah.”

  She’d liked to say that and then laugh as I tackled her in bed, rolling her underneath me.

  A wave of emotion passed through me.

  My chest felt tight. Pain radiated through me, like someone was cutting me open, one slice at a time. I missed her so much.

  “Bennett.”

  I glanced around. Crowler needed to stop using my last name. Tanner spent time in Kansas. We had business here, but I didn’t know what or how, so coming here had been a risk, but it was a calculated risk. What were the chances I’d run into any of his guys? But still. Crowler yelling my name was an unnecessary risk.

  He waved from the aisle. “I’m going for beer. Want some?”

  I looked over the stands again. They were starting the third period soon, and my chest was still tight. I could feel Melissa everywhere, so I stood to follow him. “I’ll come with.”

  “Right on.”

  I waited till the top of the stairs before I grabbed him. “Do me a favor?”

  He narrowed his eyes.

  “Stop calling me by my last name, yeah? JoBro is fine.”

  “Nice! I love it. JoBro it is.”

  Crowler. So easy.

  We went to get beer for everyone, and I was JoBro from there on out. Crowler made sure to announce to everyone the name I now preferred. Bubs and Babs laughed. We were all about the nicknames in this group, but I didn’t miss the look Carlster and Sams gave each other.

  * * * *

  “Cutler Ryder could have my babies,” Babs sighed in our Uber after the game.

  We’d gone to a nearby bar, and now two hours later, we were driving somewhere else. I wasn’t really paying attention.

  It was bliss.

  Cutler Ryder was the star player for the Mustangs. He’d scored three of their four goals tonight in their win over Vegas. Far as I could tell, since his picture was plastered everywhere, he was the face of the team, too.

  “Me, too.” Samsonite sighed. Both girls were drunk in the backseat.

  “I’d bang him, if I was a female.”

  Crowler was also drunk.

  The only one sober was Carlster.

  I had a steady buzz going, which I was enjoying. Melissa was still here, but not as haunting. Everything else had been pushed back, too.

  “Pretty sure the dude is married and has lots of babies, if the Dirty Rag is true,” announced the Uber driver.

  Everyone stopped talking for a moment.

  Crowler, face scrunched up. “The fuck you say? A Dirty Rag?”

  The driver laughed, hitting a signal and turning out of town. “It’s the local gossip site. You guys said Bresko’s, right?”

  Samsonite leaned forward. “I think. That’s the club my sister said they’d be at.”

  “You know people there?” the driver asked. “Your name is on the immediate-entry list?”

  Sams frowned. “Why?”

  “’Cause they don’t do lines,” the driver explained. “If you’re on the list, I can drop you right at the front. If you’re not, you have to wait in your car. It’s a process they have.”

  “We can’t just get dropped off and wait in line like normal clubs?”

  “Not here. There’s a line, but you gotta wait in your vehicle to get to the line. I don’t mind either way, but if you don’t have immediate access, I gotta charge you an extra waiting fee.”

  Samsonite got on her phone, and ten minutes later, she said, “My sister is there. We can be dropped off. She put my name on a list, I guess.”

  “All of us?” I asked.

  She went back to typing.

  Her phone lit up a second later. She read the text out loud, “Franklin gave your name and however many guests you have. Ask for the Mustangs’ private box. They’ll bring you to us.”

  The driver whistled, making another turn onto a dark road. We’d gotten off the interstate. “Didn’t know I had hockey royalty in here. You know Franklin?”

  “He’s dating my sister,” Sams explained.

  He whistled again. “He’s one of the best we got. Heard his contract is up for negotiation again soon. I hope he doesn’t leave. Finally got our team to jibe a while back—wouldn’t want to lose that. We love the Mustangs here in Kansas City.”