"Then quit," Tom told him coldly. "Take them to Earth and live a safe life."

  "I've thought about it," he admitted quietly.

  This admission stunned the other Riker. He didn't doubt the sincerity in Will's voice, but the simple fact that his double had even considered leaving Starfleet floored him. "I'll be damned," he swore softly. "I never thought I'd see the day when Will Riker cared more about someone else than his career."

  "Like I said, you don't know everything, Tom. No one does."

  "Why don't you leave Starfleet? What stops you?"

  "You have to ask? You said it yourself. Starfleet is corrupt. At the highest levels. If I leave, I pave the way for one more unscrupulous officer to command a starship. They held me back for years, Tom. Offering me small inferior ships, so when I turned them down it seemed like I was the one not wanting to advance. Keeping Picard a captain so they could still control him and I couldn't have the Enterprise."

  "What changed?"

  "There was an incident with a race called the Baku a few years ago. It laid bare the corruption within Starfleet. Federation citizens demanded change. Picard was made an admiral to placate them. So, I got the Enterprise. They couldn't very well give it to someone else. The outcry would have been horrendous."

  "So, things are better?"

  Will laughed without humor. "No. Things haven't changed at all. Picard is little more than a figure head. The Enterprise still is the flagship, but they keep us out of trouble if they can. Not that it always works." He smiled, remembering the Zularians.

  "Then leave," Tom taunted. "How much difference can one man make?"

  "And let them win? You know me better than that. And I know you better than that."

  Tom Riker chuckled heartily. "All it takes for evil to prevail...."

  "Is for one good man to do nothing."

  *****

  When the captain returned to the bridge, after a quick shower and a change of uniform, his XO was waiting to speak to him. They took the conversation to his Ready Room.

  "I've removed Counselor Troi from the duty roster," Paris informed his captain.

  Will looked up from the monitor on his desk in shock. "Why?"

  "She's not ready to come back. It's only been five days and she's already dragging."

  "Have you told her?"

  "No, I wanted to tell you first. Do you have a problem with this?" Tom asked, unsure of how to take Riker's cool attitude.

  "No, Commander," Will told him. "This is your job. Although, I have the feeling Counselor Troi isn't going to see it that way," he grimaced.

  Tom smiled. "Well, this time she has to listen to me."

  He should have been more careful with his wording. Will Riker wasn't a man to miss something like that. Damn.

  "This time?" Will asked quietly.

  The commander grimaced, remembering a conversation three years earlier....

  Tom Paris viewed Deanna Troi through narrowed eyes before addressing her, "Counselor Troi, forgive me for saying so...but you don't look well."

  Deanna startled slightly. "I'm fine, Mr. Paris. Just a little tired...it's been a long day."

  It had been a long ten days, actually. Voyager's Senior Staff was under tremendous strain. It was understandable, but her empathic abilities were raw with all the exposed emotion.

  "Your son isn't that old, is he?" Tom asked with deceptive casualness.

  "Hmmmm, no....Lucas is just about three weeks old." Deanna gratefully sank into the couch in her office, answering his question without thought.

  "I'm wondering how you got permission from your doctor to accept this assignment when you were less than two weeks postpartum," Tom said pointedly.

  Deanna met his intense gaze. She'd underestimated him...again. When would she learn not to do that? Tom Paris was not someone to be trifled with.

  "Beverly thinks I'm taking it 'easy' on this assignment," she told him with a self-depreciating grin. "I'm just here as a 'consultant,' you know."

  Tom smirked. "You have a great deal in common with my wife. She tried to get herself assimilated right after she had K'Leena."

  "How did that make you feel?"

  "Oh no. Not today, Counselor. We can play head-shrinking games another time. As a physician, I'm telling you to get some rest."

  "I'm fine, really...."

  "The hell you are," Tom told her quietly. "Your pulse is rapid and thready, indicating you're in pain. You're pale as a ghost and I would bet you've lost at least five kilos since you arrived."

  "Weight I needed to lose after the baby, Lieutenant." She used his rank to try and remind him of their proper place. He just smiled knowingly.

  "A nursing mother shouldn't be losing weight at that pace. I'm giving you a choice, -Commander-," there was a slight edge to his voice. "You can take the rest of the day off to catch up on some much needed sleep, -and- start cutting your schedule back, or I will take matters into my own hands."

  Deanna bristled. "Excuse me? Was that a threat?"

  "No, it was a promise."

  "I see," she said with quiet anger. "And just what did you have in mind, Lieutenant?"

  "Well, I could take my concerns to the admiral...but if he cared at all about the people under his command, he would have noticed how much this is taking out of you." The man in charge of Voyager's debriefing, Admiral Lewis, was incompetent, in Tom's opinion. He was only concerned with the political 'spin' of Voyager's return and how he could use it to advance his own interests. The fact that there are actual people involved, seemed to have slipped the admiral's notice.

  "So?"

  "So.... I think my best bet would be to contact your husband. I've never met Will Riker, but I've heard a great deal about him. I'm betting he wasn't that happy with you accepting this assignment in the first place. I'm sure if he were to hear how poorly you're handling it...."

  "Will Riker, is not now, nor ever has been my 'keeper,' Mr. Paris! I am a Starfleet officer. I choose and reject my -own- assignments!"

  "I was not thinking of it in that manner, Counselor. Commander Riker is your superior officer, it was his final decision to allow you to leave the Enterprise for this assignment. It should be brought to his attention that you are not well enough to continue."

  "I'm fine!" she yelled at him. "I'm just tired. And I don't appreciate being threatened by you!"

  "Deanna," Tom used her name for the first time. "I'm not threatening you. I'm concerned about you. Can't you see that? I just want you to take better care of yourself. There's no need to run yourself ragged shrinking the heads of the crew. They're strong, they've been through a lot. They can handle this, trust me."

  "They need me, Tom. There's so much pain in all of them. I can't abandon them now."

  "I'm not asking you to. Stay and help us if you must, but don't kill yourself doing it."

  Deanna smiled in defeat. "Anybody ever tell you you're arrogant and domineering?"

  "I think B'Elanna may have mentioned it on an occasion or two," he replied with a broad grin.

  "I just bet she did." Deanna shook her head and laughed. "Very well, Mr. Paris, you win."

  "I usually do."

  "I really have to introduce you to Will. I don't suppose you play poker?"

  *****

  Riker shook his head at the story. "You're a brave man, Commander," he told Tom after hearing what went on back then.

  Paris chuckled. "Or incredibly stupid, I've never quite been able to figure out which."

  Will gave a hearty laugh.

  "Why use an Alpha Team distress signal?" Riker asked suddenly, his mood becoming serious. "A standard distress call would have reached more ships."

  "But would they have been ships he could have trusted?" Tom countered. "I think you need to ask him yourself, Captain."

  Will nodded. "I know, but I'm not sure I want to hear his answer."

  "What are you going to do about this?" Tom wanted to know.

  "Call in a few favors. Contact some...old friends."

  Tom stiffened. "Old friends? Are you sure you want to do that?"

  "No," Will laughed bitterly. "Do you?"

  "No." There was no hesitation in the Commander's voice. That in itself told Will how much Tom didn't want certain people involved.

  "I haven't made up my mind yet," Riker tried to reassure him. "I want to talk to Admiral Picard first."

  Tom nodded. "Think carefully, Will. For all our sakes." Paris held is gaze for a long moment then left without another word.

  Riker sighed, leaning his head back against his chair. "I will, Tom. I will."

  *****

  "Why an Alpha distress call?" Will asked, striding into Tom and Laren's quarters purposefully.

  "Hello to you, too," Tom Riker drawled. "Please, come in."

  Will scowled at his twin's sarcasm. "Just answer the question. I don't have time for games."

  Tom crossed his arms and widened his stance defensively. "I used it because I knew I could trust it to reach the right people. It was the safest choice."

  "Why 'agent in distress?' instead of 'request for help?' A broader request would have been the safest choice, Tom. You were literally starving to death."

  He didn't answer, instead remaining still and meeting Will's question gaze head on.

  "They sent you in, didn't they?" the captain demanded to know. "It was your -mission- to steal the Defiant, wasn't it?"

  "I'm not at liberty to say."

  "Son of a bitch!" Will swore. "This whole damn thing was an Alpha Team assignment, wasn't it."

  Again, silence.

  "Wasn't it?!" Will yelled.

  "I'm not at lib...."

  "And you say -I'm- too dedicated to Starfleet?!" Will raged. "They fed you to the wolves, Tom!"

  "But they got the information they needed. It saved millions of lives." The quiet conviction in his double's voice tore straight through him.

  "I'm sorry," Will apologized. "You were right. I had no business judging you without all the facts."

  "You didn't know," Tom sighed.

  "I do now." Then, Will left Tom standing alone in his quarters.

  *****

  "I don't care -what- you have to do, Admiral!" Will told his former captain harshly. "You find a way to make this work!"

  "Captain Riker," Jean Luc Picard reprimanded sharply. "There is more here than meets the eye, and I am -not- in the loop on this one. Trust me. They don't want me involved in any way shape or form."

  "Good," Will grinned. "Then make it your mission to find out everything! The more pressure they feel from you, the more they will have to rethink everyone of their decisions."

  "I'm not sure I can," he revealed.

  "Get in touch with Admiral Paris, Jean Luc, he'll be able to help. Kathryn Janeway too. They got the Voyager Maquis pardoned. They can do it again."

  Picard nodded to his old friend. "I'll do what I can."

  "You better do more than that. You owe these people, Admiral."

  "I was doing what we were assigned to do, Will. You were there. You know that."

  "Maybe this was one of those times we should have questioned things a little more. Too many people have been hurt over this."

  "Have you spoken to them?" Picard asked.

  "Spoken to whom?" Will countered harshly. "Tom? Laren? Jax? Yeah, I've talked to them. What do you want to know? If they forgive you?"

  "I just wondered how they were."

  "Older. Wiser. Damaged. Want to know anything else?" Riker demanded, barely restraining himself.

  The Admiral seemed to shrink slightly. "I'll get back to you in twenty-four hours. I should know more by then."

  "Thank you."

  "Will, watch yourself. Section 31 is involved."

  Riker sighed. "Yeah, we know. Dr. Bashir has more than a passing acquaintance with them. He recognized their handiwork."

  "You may have to enlist the help of some old friends," the admiral hinted.

  "I'd rather not," Will replied grimly. "I don't want to owe them anything."

  "I don't know if you have a choice. They might be the only ones who can help. Your new first officer might be of some service too."

  Riker laughed. "Oh, he has, Admiral. He has. But he's even less willing than I am to get back into it."

  "Sometimes, Captain," Picard smiled without humor. "Destiny can't be avoided. Picard out."

  Will stared at the blank screen for a long moment, battling with his inner demons.

  "And sometimes, Admiral," he said quietly. "Avoiding your destiny is the only way to stay alive."

  *****

  Will wandered aimlessly through the darkened corridors of his ship. Gamma shift would be starting soon, the Enterprise was in 'night mode.' He used to love this shift. When he was Picard's XO he liked to take at least one night shift a week. A starship was different in 'night mode.' It was hard to explain, but there was a feeling that prevailed during this shift that wasn't there other times. A quiet, peaceful presence that was soothing to a weary officer.

  He knew what he had to do. It didn't make it any easier, however. Once he took that step, once he crossed that line again, his life would change forever. Will Riker wasn't the same man he was twenty years ago. He had given up everything for them once before and paid for it dearly. Deanna. His father. His decision then cost him the two most important people in his life. And now, he had even more to lose.

  He let out a frustrated sigh, but what choice did he have?

  "Riker to Paris," he hailed his first officer.

  --Paris here.-- Will heard the tense tone of Tom's voice over the comm system and grimaced.

  "Meet me in my Ready Room in fifteen minutes, Commander. Riker out."

  There was a meaningful pause before Tom answered.

  --Aye, Sir.--

  *****

  Tom Paris sat back in his chair and looked helplessly up at the ceiling. B'Elanna came out of the bedroom, the comm signal from the captain having woken her. She rested a hand on his shoulder and bent down to kiss his forehead.

  "Want to talk about it?" she asked.

  "I can't," he sighed. "The captain has made his decision. I know it's the right one. I know it's the only one. But I don't know if I can live with it, either."

  She frowned at the cryptic response. It was so unlike Tom. Then again, so much about him lately was different. No, she corrected silently. Not different. Painfully familiar. He was closed off. Harder. More controlled. She knew this man, too. Although she hadn't seen much of him in the last seven years.

  "Neither have I," he told her quietly as he left their quarters.

  *****

  The tall, agitated commander paced from one side of the small office to the other, his fists clenching and unclenching as he tried to control his emotions.

  "I don't like this," Tom Paris growled. "I told myself 'never again.'"

  "So did I, my friend," the captain commiserated. "So did I."

  "Once we do this, Will, there's no going back. You know it as well as I do."

  "I know, but do we even have a choice? Do you see another way?"

  "No," Tom admitted angrily. "If we don't contact Alpha Team, we're condemning them all to death."

  Will nodded. He walked over to his desk and sat down, turning the computer terminal toward him.

  "Computer. Seal the doors," he commanded. "Recognize authorization: Riker, Alpha Team, one, one, four." Will looked up at Tom expectantly.

  "Computer," Paris grimaced. "Recognize authorization: Paris, Alpha Team, three, seven, three."

  --Authorization recognized. Alpha Team status verified.--

  "Establish an encoded signal to Alpha One. Priority One."

  The Alpha Team symbol appeared on the monitor for a long moment then the face of an old friend appeared on the screen. Will smiled at the image.

  "Captain LaForge," he greeted Geordi. "How soon can you have the Valiant to DS9. We need some help."

  "We are en route, Captain Riker," LaForge told him with a grin. "ETA is twenty-one hundred hours and fourteen minutes."