She reached toward his back, but withdrew. "It was terrible, I'm sure." "Blackened land, ash blowing on acid winds. Craters, trees strewn around them like jackstraws, kilometer after kilometer after kilometer, snags of wall above toppled ruins, a bumt-out city. The dead in their thousands-millions, we knew-animal, human, sprawled bloated and

  stinking till they fell apart and the bones grinned through-, I Vargen checked the shrillness that had arisen in his voice. After a moment, he went on in a monotone: "But it was good when we helped survivors. Planetside vehicles, ground and air, located them and brought them to the spacecraft. Many were ragged, filthy, starved, sick, but they would live. I lifted my share of them to the moon, and came back for more. 9 9 He stopped. When the silence had lasted too long for her, she touched the hand that dangled at his side and whispered, "What happened then?"

  He turned around. She looked upon despair. "The next lot of stones arrived," he said harshly. "They were strung out along the whole orbit, of course, so that the night sky was always full of shooting stars, except where dust or storms hid them. We'd get a major strike somewhere almost daily. But the bulk of them stayed clustered together. When that returned, the real barrage began again.

  "The orbit was perturbed and the planet rotated, so new areas were hit worst at every such time. Now Suzda's turn came, a big, beautiful, heavily populated island off in an ocean that from above looked like blued silver.

  I was ordered to a certain town, unharmed as yet. Night had fallen when I landed. Another ship was already there. An awkward, crewed hulk, she was. But much bigger than mine, with a belly that could take a hundred. They were streaming out toward her. It was chaos. Not quite a mob scene, everybody seemed brave, struggled to maintain order, but nevertheless the mass swirled and eddied, yelled and moaned, mothers tried to pass small children along over the heads of people in front- The rescue operation always was badly confused, you see. There had been so little warning, and then volunteer vessels like mine kept appearing unannounced firorn across half the galaxy--do you see? Nobody here had heard I was coming. At least, nobody appeared to know. I wondered if anyone had even seen me land; it was some distance off, naturally. I debarked, hoping I could do something toward straightening matters out. I was shaken and sickened by what I'd seen earlier, but I did debark. I shouted and waved. 'Over here! This way!'

  He fought for air. She could not but take both his hands in hers and ask, "What then? What was it like?"

  "Like the--4he end of the world, the wreck of the gods, in-in some ancient

  myth." He groaned. "I was in a brushy meadow, near a road, several

  kilometers from the town. Its roofs, spires, domes stood black against the sky. The sky was afire, you see. Flames streaked over it, out of the west, from horizon to horizon. Hundreds of flamesthe great fireballs, blue-white, tailing off in red and yellow, that left me half blinded, till I didn't know what was afterimage and what was rock booming in at kilometers per second--and the little devils, countless, zip-zip-zip, wicked for an instant across the dark, gone, but more were there at once, more and more. Only the night wasn't really dark. Not with all those thunderbolts splitting and shaking it, and a forest burning to the south, and- They roared, screamed, whistled. When a big one struck somewhere, I'd see a flash over the horizon. A second or two later the ground shivered under my

  feet, up through my bones and teeth; and then the airborne noise reached

  me, sometimes like a cannon, sometimes like an avalanche that went on and

  on, below that uproar overhead. The air reeked of smoke and lightning. And

  I knew I was defenseless. If anything hit anywhere near, by the sheerest blind chance, that ended my universe."

  His hands were cold between her fingers. "You could face that," she foreknew.

  "Yes." The tears broke forth. "Barely."

  "But what happened next?"

  "I-I-" He wrenched free of her. "No."

  "Tell me."

  He slumped onto the chair, covered his eyes, and shuddered.

  "I hurried toward the crowd," she made out. "I waved and shouted. Several on the fringes, they saw, they moved my way. A girt ran ahead of them. She

  was maybe six or seven years old, light on her feet. I've wondered why she

  went alone. Got separated from her family in the scramble? There I was, as

  terrified as her, but she didn't know that. I was a man, holding out my

  arms to her, under that

  horrible sky, and at my back the ship that was life. She held a kitten to her breast-"

  He wept, long, racking gulps and rattles, into his hands. "The strike- The town went up, a crash that deafened and staggered me, a blaze that rose and rose and lost itself in a black tree of smoke and dust- Fragments- They tore through the crowd like sleet. Those people that were making for me, they, they became . . . rags flung right and left. The little girl rolled over. She flopped into a bush. It caught fire. I ran to her and stamped at the flames. It'd been such a pretty dress. Her hair- 'Please, oh, please!'

  I think she screamed. The chunk had ripped through her. Guts slurped out. Her kitten was burned too. I put my heel down on its skull. It crunched. That was all I could do for her. Wasn't it? By then she was dead. A bolide trundled and rumbled overhead. Its light brought her face out of the shadows, in fits and starts, fallen jaw and staring eyes. She looked very much like my daughter the same age, my daughter who'd died the year before. "I don't remember much else, till I was back in space, outbound. "

  Vargen raised his head, pawed at the tears, caught a breath, and said, saw-edged, "No excuses. I never made any. I had that much self-respect left me."

  "We are none of us infinitely strong," Davith Windfell had told his own daughter. "Always the universe can break us. If we go on afterward, scars and all, it's because luck made us brave. " She knelt to enfold the man who had opened himself to her.

  The ship sprang to a known part of space. There she coasted while Newan, Enry, and Thura practiced in freefall. Violet and rose, a nebula phosphoresced across a fourth of heaven. Through its laciness gleamed fierce points of light, newborn giant suns and the coals that were stars still forming. Oh, no lack of wonders whereon to heighten skills!

  Given intelligence and healthy reflexes, most Erthumoi soon learned how to handle their weightless bodies. Precision work was the hard thing to master. It began with always, automatically, making sure that objects would stay where you left them. Over and over and over, Laurice put her pupils through the drill, explained, chided, encouraged, demonstrated, guided. Then followed assignments in partnership with the ffiree robots. Who knew but that the multiple manipulators and ship-linked but individual intelligences of Un,

  Du, and Tre would be needed?

  "Time for lunch," she said wearily. "Meet again in half an hour. You're

  doing quite well. In fact, you no longer require me to hector you. "

  "Why, Sergeant Major, you sound downright human," Enry japed.

  Laurice laughed. "I have reason. I won't be here next session. Seriously,

  I am pleased. Keep on as hard as you have been, get your efforts a little better coordinated, and we'll be in shape to fight mad tax collectors." Their friendship felt like a warmth at her back as she left. Yes, she had

  driven them hard, but they realized why. House Windfell's clients knew that

  it traditionally expected more of its patrons than it did of them.

  The whole cosmos was warm and bright. Flying down the corridors, Laurice whistled that bawdy old ballad "Two Lovers in Two Spacesuits. "

  She assumed Yoran would be at a rec screen, whether to play three-dimensional go against the ship or watch one of the loud, flashy musical shows he'd put in the library database. He wasn't, though. She inquired. "He is in the electronics shop," Darya told her.

  "What's he want there?" Laurice wondered aloud.

  Hitherto she couldn't have gotten a reply. The ship's capabilities weren't for crewfolk to spy on each other. Vargen had lately directed that she have the same full access as himself. It was just a gesture, impulsive, scarcely significant but endearing. She'd forgotten, and felt surprise at first when Darya said, "He appears to be writing a program. I cannot tell for certain, because he is using a personal computer he brought along, unconnected to my systems, and his body blocks the keyboard and display from my sensors. Do you wish a visual?"

  "No, no. I only have to talk with him. I'll go in person." Laurice set off. Already competent in zero gravity, he hunched at the middle of the compartment, legs wrapped around a stanchion, machine friction-hooked to his lap. It was a mini, useful enough when something more powerful wasn't available. He started when she entered and slammed the cover shut. She smiled. "Hullo," she greeted. "What are you up to?"

  He swallowed. "Ali, uh, experimental procedure. I don't want to show it to anybody till it's finished."

  "Why not use Darya's systems? You'd finish in a tenth the time, not counting blind alleys that that gimcrack may let you wander into."

  He flushed, then paled. How haggard he had grown, these past several watches. And solitary, silent. She almost missed his waspishness. "I don't choose to! When my program's ready, when I'm satisfied, I'll put it in the network. "

  And if it's a failure, there'll be no record of it. Nobody will ever know, not even the ship. You poor, forlorn devil.

  Best avoid the subject. "As you like. I'm affidid you'll have to set it aside and rejoin your team, at twelve-thirty hours.

  He glared. "Why?"

  "They're ready to practice with you."

  "And where will you be?" After a pause: "Milady."

  "Elsewhere. " It tingled through her skin. "I've given them their basic instruction. Now I should not be. underfoot. It's your team. Get them into unison with you."

  "I see," he said. "And you will be elsewhere."

  "Look," she pointed out, as mildly as possible, "it shouldn't take long. I hope not. We don't want to come late for the big event. However, when you're prepared, we'll take two extra watches and rest before we proceed to destination. We'll do it under boost, so everybody can feel at ease while regaining some muscle tone. Captain Vargen thinks, and I agree, we'd better reach the scene in optimum condition. That'll give you time to complete this project of yours, if you want." And you will. You don't sleep much or well, do you?

  "Captain Vargen. " Yoran's attention went back to his computer. "Very well, milady. Now, if you will excuse me, I may be able to write this subroutine before completing my duties. "

  "Of course." If only I could share happiness with you who hardly know what

  it is. Impossible. So why mar mine? "Good luck." Laurice left him.

  On her passage forward, she met Copperhue outside the galley. Enry, Newan, and Thura were in it, fixing their meal, but the Naxian was evidently through eating. By tacit accommodation, it-he did so alone. The two species didn't like the smells of each other's food. "Will you not join your fellows?" it-he hailed her.

  Courtesy demanded she press palm against bulkhead and brake herself. "Later," she said. "I must report to the skipper. I I The luminous eyes searched her. "You are hungry."

  She laughed. It sounded the least bit nervous to her. "Does your emotion reading extend to that? Yes, I would like a sandwich, but it can wait."

  The artificial voice lowered together with the sibilant purring. "Honored

  one, let me suggest you be more ... circumspect. Feelings toward you have intensified."

  Blood throbbed in her throat. "What do you mean?"

  A ripple down the long body might correspond to a shrug. "I detect emotions, not thoughts, and with an alien race my perceptions are basic; nuances are lost on me. Still, I can identify joy, and rageful bitterness, and even amicable, slightly prurient curiosity. This enables me to make deductions that as yet are probably mere speculations in the minds of the rest. " Those lips could not smile, those pseudopods could not embrace, and the speech was synthetic. Yet did she sense benevolence, concern, perhaps a kind of love? "None of my business, as your saying goes, especially when I am a total outsider. But I do pray leave to counsel discretion. We are embarking into mystery. We must remain united."

  "Sufficient. "

  Copperhue flowed off. She looked after it-him till it-he disappeared around a comer, before she continued forward.

  It-he's right, she knew. We have been careless, Harul and 1. Well, it happened so suddenly, overwhelmingly.... No justification. We're not freed from our responsibilty for crew and mission.

  On earlier expeditions she had stayed prudent, celibate except on the two she made in company with Tumas Whitewater, and there it was known beforehand they would be together. (They had talked eagerly about forging one more marriage bond between their Houses. That faded out with the relationship, in wistful but not unpleasant wise. He was too immature.) Planetside, you could be as private as you wanted, and in any event jealousy wouldn't create a hazard.

  But damn it, Harul's the best lover I've ever had or hoped to have.

  Knowing, considerate, ardent. As fine a human being as I'll ever meet.

  Wise, gentle, resolute. He's come back out of the night-1 raised him from it, he ~ays-with a strength, a knowledge, beyond my imagining, I who have never been there. Dad and Mother won't be happy at first, but they'll learn, they too.

  Meanwhile, yes, of course, we'd better see to our masks. If we can. How do you appear in public not radiating gladness?

  Jump.

  Brilliance.

  Slowly, she eased. Nothing had happened. She floated before the weapons console in silence and the ocean of stars. Well, she thought, we knew Copperhue's fix was rough, and the smallest difference in astronomical distances is big beyond our conceiving.

  She gazed about her. Now the Milky Way did have an altogether new shape, seen from its farther side, from within another spiral arm. Awe walked cold over her spine, on into arms and fingertips. She searched the strangeness for anything she might identify, as the Naxian had done. Magellanic Clouds, Andromeda galaxy, a few nakedeye sisters--clotted darkness shielded her from the blaze at the heart of her own galaxy and marked it for her--an obvious blue giant, maybe five hundred light-years away, might be in some survey catalogue--

  "What do you detect?" Vargen breathed through the night.

  "No radiations such as spacecraft emit," Darya reported. "An anomalous source at nineteen twenty-six hours planar, sixty-two degrees south. Radio, optical, X-ray; possible neutrino component."

  Excitement pulsed in Vargen's voice: "That's got to be it. All right, let's aim the array."

  "Request permission to leave my post," Laurice said.

  "Granted," Vargen answered. "Come join me. We may want to swap ideas off the intercom, not to disturb the scientists. "

  You transparent innocent! Laurice thought. We could talk directly, cubicle to cabin.... Well, but if I know Yoran, he's now too engaged in his work to notice.... Never mind him. What better time to be at your side, darling?

  She hastened. Glorious though the sight was, he had abandoned it for his quarters. The kiss lasted long. "Hold, hold," he mumbled when her hands began to move. "We'd better wait awhile. The team should have word for us in a few minutes."

  "I know," she said in his ear. "Make some arrangements for later, though, will you? And not much later, either. Have I told you -you're as good in zero gee as you are under boost?"

  He chuckled, low in his throat. "The feeling's mutual. Uh, the ship---

  "Oh, Darya knows too, the way we kept forgetting she existed. And if we cut her off now, we might delay an emergency call. You won't tell on us, will you, Darya, dear?"

  "I am programmed. not to reveal mission-irrelevant matters to others than the captain upon command, and yourself," replied the sweet tones. "Those will be wiped upon our return, prior to logging the permanent record."

  "Yes, yes. But it's nice of you to, well, care." Did the robotic brain? A philosophical question, never really answered. Certainly Darya was not, could not be voyeuristic. Still, her consciousness didn't seem completely impersonal and aloof. And-Laurice felt a blush-that unseen presence did add a little extra spice.

  As if any were needed! She nuzzled. "You smell good," she murmured. "Clean but male. Or should that be male but clean?"

  Half an hour passed. They required something to discuss if they were to stay chaste and alert. Vargen declined their search as a subject. "It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data," he said. She got the impression he was quoting, perhaps a translation from an ancient writer; like her father, he read widely. Well, they had their future to imagine, and to plan soberly. They were quite aware that much of it would be difficult, especially at first, before he had once more fully proven himself.

  The intercom chimed. They accepted. Yoran sounded almost friendly, or was that sheer exuberance? Whichever, Laurice was delighted to hear it. "We've got our preliminary data, Captain, milady. Something peculiar, for certain. I'd rather keep my ideas in reserve for the moment. "

  Vargen, too, showed pleasure. "What can you tell, in layman's language?" "Well, actually there are two radiation sources. Radial velocities tremendous; you'd think they were quasars. Spectra indicate mostly hydrogen, some helium, traces of metals. In short, interstellar medium, but at sunlike temperatures. Each source appears to be rotating differentially, the inner parts at speeds approaching c, but we aren't sure of that yet.

  Nor of much else, aside frorn- It is extraordinary, Captain. "

  "Good work. I hereby become your errand boy. What do you want us to do?" "Skip around. Get parallaxes so we can determine the location in space, transverse component of velocity, intrinsic brightness. Observing from various distances, over a range of a hundred parsecs or so, we can follow any evolution that's been taking place. That should let us figure out the nature of the beast."