I recall how mad he was when I told him I’d been testing my blood at the university lab, and about my plans for figuring out how we could turn the healing properties of werewolf blood into amazing things for human medicine. “Well, let me now, because this has weighed heavily on my mind for years. After my miraculous recovery, I was so grateful that I wanted to share my good fortune. I let my ambitions get in the way, and instead of thanking the person that helped me, I somehow managed to put you in harm’s way. I’m so very sorry.”

  “Andi, your apology is accepted. And for the record, I forgave you a long time ago. We were both young and said things we didn’t mean.” He turns to flip the pancakes quickly before facing me again. “You’ve done more than enough making up for that. I know how you’ve been keeping us safe all these years. The leaders of the pack do too.” He lifts the pan of bacon and begins to lay the strips on a plate lined with paper towels.

  His words surprise me. I’m not sure how the werewolves could know how I’ve botched any attempts at collecting data on them. “It’s the least I could do.”

  Eggs crack as Esher hits them on the edge of the counter, and they snap and pop as he dumps them into the bacon grease. “It’s time for you to stop.”

  “But why? I don’t understand.”

  Esher turns to me and hands me the syrup and butter to put on the table. He says, “You’re putting yourself in danger now, and I think you know it.”

  He plates up breakfast and carries the dishes over to sit. I do suspect that Dr. Sand came here because of more than getting her hand slapped. Not only doesn’t she trust that the Silver Lake wolves are normal, but she doesn’t trust me. I guess I didn’t want to face the reality of what that means. I ask, “Are you suggesting I should quit my job?”

  Esher has a mouthful of food and nods at me while he chews. When he swallows he says, “If I could force you to, I would. I think you’ve got more to worry about than your leukemia.”

  I place a bite of maple-syrup-soaked pancake in my mouth. If I didn’t work at the lab, what would I do? I gaze at the werewolf across from me and notice his strong body that is larger than the average man, and watch a hand that can grow claws in an instant as he lifts his coffee to take a sip. I realize that I’ve become a liability for the Silver Lake pack.

  But will me leaving my job be enough? I set a horrible mission into place the day I told Dr. Sand I thought werewolves existed. I told her that I thought the folklore was true. They do heal quickly, and the very properties that allow them to do so could be what we needed to find a cure for cancer.

  The food I’m still chewing has lost all flavor, and I swallow it down before I say, “I think you’re right.”

  Five

  Esher’s breakfast left me so full, all I wanted to do was waddle to the couch, but he took me back to my car and made me promise that I’d consider quitting my job and call him as soon my doctor’s appointment was over. I spent the rest of my Sunday watching bad TV and contemplating what I would do for work if I did leave the university. Since being a rock star or actress is out, I came up with unemployed. Esher managed to kick my fear into high gear, so I checked out my financial status to see how long I could be without a job before I ran out of money. I have time. And getting a job may not matter once I’ve seen the doctor and confirm my diagnosis. I might be dying in a few months, which would make my money worries pointless.

  As usual, I’m at the lab before Dr. Sand, and coffee trickles into the pot as I tidy up the remains of her mess from last Friday. Apparently the doctor’s attention to detail doesn’t include menial tasks she finds beneath her. I step out of the small kitchen area and glance around at the space that has been my oasis since I graduated from college. I recall the day I completed my thesis for my doctorate, and the champagne I shared with Dr. Field, my mentor whose job I went on to fill when he retired a year later.

  The lab door swishes open and brings me back to reality as Dr. Sand enters. Her nearly black hair is pulled back in a tight bun, and she’s makeup free. Her severe appearance matches her personality perfectly, and the image of Cruella De Vil flashes in my head when she smiles as if I’m a good little puppy she can’t wait to skewer. “Coffee,” she says.

  I don’t respond, and when I hear a ding indicating I received a text, I step into the kitchenette space to pull my phone out of my purse. I smile when I notice it’s from Esher. It reads, “Don’t forget I expect to hear from you today.”

  I tap out a reply. “I promise I’ll call later.”

  Dr. Sand asks, “Shall I pour you a cup?”

  My phone clatters on the counter when I set it down, and I hide the frown I want to make at her act of kindness. “Yes. Thank you.”

  Dark liquid gurgles into a mug when she tilts it, and she hands the drink to me. She says, “Andi, I realize things have been difficult since I arrived. I would have a hard time sharing my job too. I appreciate the effort you’ve been making.”

  Whoa, miracles do happen. But I’m not that easily fooled, and I think she wants something. I say, “Thank you. It hasn’t been easy for me, but I’m sure we’ll find our stride.”

  “Yes.” Dr. Sand gazes over her cup at me before she takes a sip of her coffee. She glances around the room as if someone might be lurking in the corner. “I’d like to revisit the werewolves.” She cocks an eyebrow and adds, “What do you say? Want to help me?”

  I smile at her even though she’s suggesting we follow through on the one thing I regret most in life. I lift my mug to gaze over it and mimic her. I say, “That depends on your plan,” before I take a drink.

  She glances at the section of my forearms my lab coat sleeves reveal, and I wince that she’s seeing my bruises. I wish I’d worn the long-sleeved tee I set aside when the weather called for a seventy-degree day. I swear evil dances in her eyes as she says, “I think you’re going to like it. I’ll print the proposal out for you later today.”

  “Great.” I excuse myself to use the bathroom and to process how I’m going to deal with the latest development in my job. I have no doubt she’s testing me, and I need to figure out my own plan.

  When I return from the restroom, Dr. Sand has my phone in her hand, and she appears to be fighting a smile as she says, “Dr. Murphy’s office called. I thought I should take it in case it was important.”

  I think she may have been sent to me from Satan. I force myself to remain calm. “And?”

  “Your doctor is running late this morning, so they’ve moved your appointment to a half hour later.”

  “Thank you. But next time, please let voicemail take my calls.”

  “Of course.” She hands me the phone, and I refrain from snatching it away as I take it from her. I sit at my laptop and sort through my emails as I calm down. As I’m in the middle of one from the dean of students, Dr. Sand appears in front of me. I glance up at her when she says, “Andi, dear. Dr. Murphy is an oncologist. What’s wrong?”

  She googled Dr. Murphy? This time I don’t fight my anger and let it out. “My health is none of your concern, Gina.”

  “You’re wrong. Your health is my concern, especially if it affects your ability to do your job. I saw the bruises. Hodgkin’s? Leukemia?”

  The twinkle of happiness in her eyes makes me want to punch her. I say, “Perhaps you didn’t understand me the first time. It’s none of your business.” My laptop clicks shut, and I stand. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment.”

  Gina Sand follows me as I retrieve my purse and says, “This is exciting, if you think about it. We could test the theory that werewolf blood could heal a human and save your life.”

  I try to push past her to leave, but she grabs me by the shoulders. Her entire being is quivering with excitement. “Andi, if we cure you, we could both become famous. Think about it.”

  I glare at her. “You seem to be having a hard time with the concept of my privacy. Now let go of me.”

  She releases me and calls out as I walk away. “I’ll have a new proposal ready for when you get back. This is a fabulous new discovery, Andi. You’ll see.”

  I shove the door behind me to make it slam. But the noise does little to satisfy me. What it does do is hammer home the fact that I’m going to quit my job. Today. Because no way am I going to become Dr. Gina Sand’s new project and endanger the werewolves again.

  Six

  I bite my lip as Dr. Murphy speaks. He’s leaning against his desk, and I focus on his blue eyes in the aging skin that sags around them. I wonder what my face will—would—look like when I’m in my sixties. He just confirmed that I have stage-four leukemia. He says, “I’d like to start the chemo as soon as possible.”

  I shake my head. “I’m not going to make my last few months miserable.”

  “Andi, you can survive this. You’ve done it before.”

  My quick recovery last time was an unexplained phenomenon thanks to the werewolf blood Esher injected into my vein. I have no idea if it can work again. “I already used up my miracle, Dr. Murphy.”

  He sighs as he stands up. “Take a few days to think about your decision. All I need is a phone call, and we’ll get you in that day to start treatment.”

  “Okay.” I rise slowly to keep from getting dizzy. “I’ll think about it. Thank you, Doctor.”

  The kind man holds out his hands and squeezes mine gently when I take them. “God bless you.”

  “Thanks.” I step out of his office, and my footsteps are nearly silent as I tread along the tightly woven carpet toward the checkout desk. God’s blessing isn’t what I need. I need Esher’s blood. I know I’ve lived longer than I should have, and I’m grateful for the years I’ve been given. I’m not ready to die, but can I swallow my pride to take what Esher is offering?

  Once I get to my car, I call Esher. He picks up on the second ring. “Andi. I’m with a patient, but I’ll call you right back.”

  “Okay.” I flip my phone around in my hand as I stare out the window at the landscaping around the doctor’s office. Bulb irises are in bloom, and I wonder if I’ll get the chance to see them again next year. I focus on the new leaves on an oak tree. Will I be alive to see them turn bright yellow in the fall? How many people have sat in this parking lot thinking the same things?

  The ring of my phone makes me jump, and I tap it to answer Esher’s call. “Hey.”

  “Hi. What’s the prognosis?”

  “Stage four. I refused chemo.” The hard plastic of my steering wheel is smooth under my fingers as I drag them along the top of it.

  Esher sighs. “I’m so sorry, Andi. You know what we need to do now.”

  “Do you think it will work again?”

  “I do.” I imagine the lines that form between his eyebrows when he’s determined as he adds, “And if it doesn’t, I’ve got something up my sleeve as a backup.”

  Hope makes me sit up a little taller. “What?” I ask. But as soon as the word is out of my mouth I hate myself for being so eager to let Esher sacrifice something for me. Again.

  “I don’t want to do this over the phone. Why don’t you come to my house for dinner tonight? Say six?”

  My tears are on the brink of falling, and I crack a joke to keep from crying. “Are you serving a nice red?”

  “I am. I like to think it’s one of your favorites.”

  I grin as hot moisture rolls down my cheeks, and I whisper, “It is.”

  When I get off the phone I realize I should go back to work. But being around Gina Sand is down at the bottom of my list of things I want to do with what may be the remaining days of my life, so I take myself out to lunch instead. I don’t bother to call, and part of me hopes I’ll get fired and make my career decision an easy one.

  The hostess at the lakeside cafe seats me in a sunny corner that allows me to gaze out over the water. I order a cola and a cup of clam chowder before I open the menu. I plan to eat my favorite foods without guilt. It’s too early in the season for many tourists, and I enjoy the nearly empty restaurant.

  I eavesdrop on an older couple’s conversation. He’s deciding what to eat, and she discards all his choices quickly as she tells him he wants the blue cheese-and-bacon sandwich special. He scoffs at her idea, but when the waitress arrives, it’s what he orders. I smile at their exchange as I imagine they’ve been married for decades. A lump forms in my throat. What if I never get married?

  My soda appears, and ice cubes clink against the glass as I poke at them with my straw before I take a sip. I may never get to be a mother. I let the sugary drink sit on my tongue for a moment. What if this is really it? The idea that werewolf blood could save me in the first place was crazy. I recall the night Esher proposed the idea, and the next day when we sat in his dorm room as he drew a vial of blood from his vein and injected it into mine.

  The waitress thumps my soup down in front of me, and I order a BLT with fries. Creamy flavor makes me moan softly with pleasure when I spoon in a mouthful. I recall how Esher and I made love that night. It’s etched in my memory as the best sex I’ve ever had, but it was more than physical. I don’t know if it was the fear of dying or the way Esher gave so freely of himself, but I’d never experienced the kind of connection we had.

  The sun shifts to a position that is too bright for my eyes, and my chair scrapes on the wood floor as I move to a shadier section of my table. Unfortunately it wasn’t long after that night that Esher and I broke up. When my blood tested normal the next day I embarked on my crazy research idea without a thought about the implications. And it led to the blowup that ended my relationship with the man who is the love of my life. The one who’s come to my rescue once again.

  My sandwich arrives, and I take a bite. The rich flavor of bacon reminds me of the breakfast Esher made for me yesterday, and I picture his powerful arms as he worked in my kitchen. The arms I wish were holding me right now.

  When I finish my lunch I’m too full for the dessert I’d planned on, so I order two pieces of carrot cake to go. Esher and I can have them tonight. But I smile to myself when the waitress hands the box to me, because I have a different idea for dessert. If my days are numbered, I’m going to do my best to make the most of the time I have left, and that means making Esher Wakefield a part of my life.

  Seven

  After my leisurely lunch I return to work. By the time I arrive back at the lab the decision to quit my job is solid in my mind, and I walk in without an ounce of guilt over being gone for three hours.

  When I step through the door, Dr. Sand glances up from her work, and a scowl forms on her face as her eyes dart to the clock. But the expression is fleeting as she covers it with fake concern and asks, “How did it go?”

  I speak with the confidence of someone who has nothing to lose. “I’m in stage four of my cancer. I’ve refused chemotherapy, and—”

  Dr. Sand claps her hands together and interrupts me. “Wonderful! I knew you’d be on board with the plan to test the werewolf blood.”

  She walks over to me, and I stare at her as I process her reaction. Although, I’m not sure why I’m surprised. I’d bet if she had children it would have been so she could use them as lab rats. I say, “No. I’m not—”

  “I have a few ideas how we can capture one.”

  Wait. Capture one? Fear knots in my stomach, and I ask, “How?”

  “Oh, this is brilliant. I have a couple friends that used to work in Special Forces for the FBI. I took the liberty of calling them while you were gone. They’ll be here next week.”

  “So they’re going to capture a wolf for us? Can they do that?” I’m pretty sure Dr. Sand is working off government radar.

  A strand of hair has fallen out of her bun, and she pushes it out of the way as she says, “We can do anything we want as long as we’re discreet. It’s amazing what money can buy.”

  The implications of her words hit me. She’s acting outside of the law on this. I ask, “Private backer?”

  She nods. “There’s so much I want to test, and you’re the perfect subject. You know how difficult it is to clear a human and—” She shakes her head. “Well, you know what I’m talking about.”

  Right. The ethics of testing dangerous theories on humans, like ones that can kill. Let alone getting the person’s permission. I suppress the urge to huff in anger and say, “Yes. I do.” My plan to quit today just flew out the window. I’ve got to stop Dr. Sand from capturing Silver Lake wolves, and I think I need to stick around to do that. “So tell me more about how you’re going to get the wolves.”

  “Don’t you worry about that part.” Her hand is icy cold on my arm when she touches me. “You look exhausted. I’m sure today has been tough on you. Perhaps you should go home and rest.”

  She gives me the out I was looking for, but rest is the last thing on my mind. I need to tell Esher what Dr. Gina Sand is up to. I say, “That’s a good idea. I am tired.” I never got the chance to put my purse away, and the leather strap is smooth in my hand when I lift it to my shoulder. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t mention it.” Her mask of concern is thin when she says, “I’m so sorry, Andi. We’re going to fix this. You’ll see.”

  You bet we are. But you’re not going to like my solution. I offer her a false sentiment of my own. “If anyone can do it, it’s you. Thanks.” I turn on my heel and stroll out of the lab as if I’m confident my problems are solved. But more than bad blood is racing through my veins as I make my way down the hallway of the science building. Fury is searing its way along my vessels too. Dr. Gina Sand is messing with the wrong woman, because I’m taking her down, once and for all.

  Snowflake paces my apartment along with me. It’s amazing what a good adrenaline spike can do for your energy level. I can’t stop moving as I work out my rage over the latest development in Dr. Sand’s idea of genetic research. If Esher didn’t have such an important job I’d call him, but he’s dealing with sick children and doesn’t need me to yank him away. I called my friend and ex-lab assistant Mia instead.