“You’re a good man, Dwayne.”

  As BeBe sang, Dwayne swung Trish around and said, “I love you, bae.”

  Love wasn’t in the details. It was right here as she felt Dwayne’s arms around her and breathed in the scent of sandalwood and musk that was so him. Love was in the showing up every single day, even when it was hard. She had love with Dwayne, and she was going to hold on to it with every fiber of her being. “You know what, Dwayne John Robinson, I love you right back.”

  Chapter 21

  Since Vivian made it through the night, Alexis thought the worst was behind them, just as it had been with Ethan’s hospitalization. Her mother would recuperate and then go back to the nursing home with her friends. But it seemed the doctor’s only purpose for coming into Vivian’s hospital room today was to wreck her whole life.

  That song her mother sang about flying away rang in Alexis’s ear as the doctor said, “Some patients live a long time after an aneurysm, but your mother’s health is failing so I must be honest with you. I don’t think she will live past the next six months.”

  “She only has six months?”

  He shook his head. “I can’t guarantee another six months. She could leave us at any time. I’m sorry I don’t have better news for you.”

  He was sorry, but he would not take any of it back. A person who had the power to predict a death should have the power to take those words back.

  “So, this is it,” Vivian said as if she accepted the doctor’s words as gospel.

  “No, Mom. You aren’t going to lay down and die just because one doctor says so. I’m going to get you an appointment with another doctor.”

  Vivian didn’t look hopeful. “Can you bring my grandchildren to see me, please?”

  Alexis sat down next to her mom. They had a complicated relationship. Yes, there were times when Vivian was hard to love, but Alexis loved her still. She declared within her heart that she was going to do right by the woman who gave her life. “Mom, when the doctor releases you from the hospital, I want you to come home with me.”

  “For a visit?”

  Alexis’s mind was made up. Her mother belonged with her and the kids. “No, Mom, I want you to stay with us.”

  Vivian’s head swung around to look at her daughter. “You want me?”

  Tears rolled down Alexis’s face. She wiped them away. “Yes, Mom, I want you with me. The kids will be so happy.”

  Vivian’s eyes clouded over. “What about Michael?”

  “Michael will be fine with it. You need me now, Mom. I promise I won’t desert you.” She’d done things Michael’s way ever since they met. He would now have to adjust his perfect life to accommodate her mother. Alexis hoped her husband wouldn’t disappoint her, but she wasn’t sending her mother back to that nursing home no matter what he said.

  * * *

  Vivian moved in with them and Alexis took her to see another doctor, but even her second-opinion doctor could not guarantee that Vivian would fully recover from the aneurysm.

  “Mommy, Granny wants a sandwich!” Ella yelled from the top of the stairs.

  “Okay, tell her I’ll be up with it in a minute.” Alexis went into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and started taking out lunch meat, veggies, and mayo. She placed the items on the counter as Michael came up behind her. He put an arm around her and kissed the back of her neck.

  “Can you fix me a sandwich also?” He sat down at the kitchen counter.

  Things had been tense with her and Michael since she moved her mother into the guest room three weeks ago. Alexis had been trying to keep the peace, but Michael was making it harder with each passing day. She made his sandwich and slid it over to him.

  “Okay, I get it. You’re still mad about the comments I made about your mom when Ethan was seeing things, but don’t you think that moving your mom into our house was a bit much for getting back at me?”

  She was slicing tomatoes for her mother’s sandwich. She let the knife drop on the cutting board as she turned to Michael. “I’m not trying to get back at you. My mother doesn’t want to be at that nursing home anymore.”

  “We’ve always found her a new place whenever she wore out her welcome. Why didn’t you just find a new place for her, Alexis? This is too much. I don’t like some of the things she says around our children.”

  “I don’t like some of the stuff she says either, Michael, but she’s my mother. Our kids deserve to know the good and the bad about their grandmother.”

  Michael took his sandwich off the counter and stood up. “This can’t go on much longer, Alexis. Find her another nursing home.”

  “No.”

  Michael’s back was to her as he was making his way out of the kitchen. He swiveled back around. “What?”

  “I said no, Michael. You don’t get to run everything around here. Not anymore.” She had tried so hard to be the wife Michael needed her to be. She had never thought of herself as a rebel. Vivian had been rebellious enough for the whole family. Alexis was more a go-along-to-get-along type of person. “She’s dying, Michael.”

  “Says who? That doctor told you he couldn’t guarantee six months, but who’s to say she won’t live at least two years or more.”

  “Would that really be so bad?” For Michael, she knew the answer was yes and that made her sad.

  His hand flew in the air. He gave her a look that said she was being unreasonable. Then he stormed out of the room.

  She took the sandwich and a glass of iced tea to her mother. Vivian was in the oversize chair with her feet propped on the ottoman. Alexis put the food tray table down in front of her mother.

  “How are you feeling, Mom?”

  “I’m feeling wonderful.” She stretched and rolled her neck. “The kids have been helping me rehearse my lines.”

  “Your lines?”

  “Yeah, Mom.” Ethan entered the room with a notepad and ink pen. “Here, Granny.”

  Ella came into the room. Around her shoulders she had wrapped the feather boa Alexis wore to a 1920s party Michael took her to last year. “Granny is teaching us how to write our own lines, just like the grand old Hollywood actresses did.”

  Alexis almost laughed as Ella stepped on the scarf while trying to strut around the room as if she was attending a red carpet event. “Well, you all are obviously in your own little world, so I’ll get out of the way.”

  “No, Mom, stay and have fun with us,” Ethan pleaded.

  After the fight she just had with Michael, Alexis did not know if she wanted to encourage all of this pretending and delusions of grandeur. Maybe she should shut the door so they could play without Michael overhearing them.

  “Come on, Alexis. You used to practice lines with me. Get on over here so I can teach these grandkids of mine how to get noticed when they audition.”

  “I don’t think Ella or Ethan have any delusions . . . I mean, ambitions toward being actors.” She tried her best to ignore the feather boa wrapped around Ella. That didn’t mean anything. Her kids were not interested in acting.

  “Of course, they do,” Vivian asserted. “They have my genes. They will be wonderful actors, and they’ll make much more money than I ever did. I can guarantee you that.”

  “Do you really think we can be famous actors, Granny?” Ethan asked.

  “You betcha.” Vivian moved the tray to the table and tried to get out of the chair. She was a bit wobbly, so she grabbed her cane as she tried to stand straight and tall. “When I was a younger girl, I was the talk of the town. If anybody got in my way when I was auditioning for a part, I would pulverize them.” Vivian balled her fist and made a punching motion.

  Ella’s face turned from playful to horrified. “Granny, why would you do something like that?”

  “Yes, why indeed?” Alexis wondered if her mom’s medication needed to be increased or maybe Vivian needed to get some rest. She didn’t understand why none of her mom’s therapists had ever been able to get this Hollywood delusion out of her head. “Mom, you’ve been up long enough today. Please get back in bed.”

  “I can’t, the kids and I have some lines to rehearse.”

  Alexis ignored her mother and helped her back to bed. “Okay, kids, give Granny some time to rest and let her eat her sandwich.”

  “But she wants to play, Mom. She really does,” Ethan said.

  “I know she does, but I need her to get some rest.” Alexis turned to Ella. “Put that scarf back in my closet. Then you and Ethan can go play in the backyard for a little while.”

  “You don’t want them to play with me?” Vivian sounded hurt.

  Alexis didn’t like that Vivian told her kids about her so-called Hollywood days, but she wasn’t about to chastise her mother about it. She didn’t want to make too big a fuss, especially not after the doctors told her that Vivian could experience a re-bleeding in the head and then life would just be over.

  “It’s not that, Mom,” Alexis finally said. “The kids love having you home with us, but I really do want you to rest. I could hear you all last night pacing the floor. These all-nighters aren’t good for you.”

  “I’m fine, Alexis. You don’t need to baby me.”

  “Can you promise to get some sleep? Please.”

  “I am getting tired. Maybe I will go to sleep now. Will that make you happy?”

  Alexis pointed at the sandwich. “Eat first, then nap.”

  “Okay, okay. You’re worse than the wardens at all those prisons you and Michael put me in.”

  Sitting down in the chair that was against the wall in her mother’s room, Alexis said, “We didn’t put you in a prison, Mom.”

  “Oh, yeah? Then why did I have to bust out?” Vivian asked as she began eating her sandwich.

  “I’ve wondered that myself, Mom. The homes we put you in were all very nice places. You had friends and lots of activities.”

  “It was no home at all if I wasn’t with you, Lexi. Remember, it was always you and me against the world.”

  Alexis remembered. She and Vivian battled bill collectors, grocery store workers, landlords, and anyone else who told Vivian she couldn’t do something she had already set her mind to do. Alexis had grown tired of the struggle and the you-and-me-against-the-world—a world that her mother created in her own head, and all she had wanted to do was escape.

  Now she would give anything to add more restless days and sleepless nights. “Keep living, Mom,” Alexis whispered as Vivian fell asleep. “Just keep living.”

  * * *

  That night, while Vivian slept the night away, Alexis barely slept at all. Michael wasn’t speaking to her, and she didn’t know what to do about that. How could she get her husband to care about the things that concerned her? All through their marriage it had been her job to care about what concerned Michael. Now she needed them to switch roles, just for a little while. The world would again revolve around Michael, but not now—not when her mother needed her.

  As she tossed and turned, Michael lay next to her sleeping as if all was right in his world—at least that’s how it seemed to her. She needed Michael. Why couldn’t he see how much distress she was feeling and put his arms around her? Why couldn’t he be there to tell her that everything was going to be all right? But Michael was consumed with what mattered to him.

  She glanced over at the time on the cable box. It was two in the morning. Go to sleep already. She pulled the cover over her head.

  In the morning, Alexis reflected that while she might not be getting much sleep, she was thankful that her mother was finally sleeping. Alexis hoped that Vivian would be in her right mind today. But after cooking the oatmeal that her mother loved for breakfast and taking it to her, Alexis found her mother in tears.

  She put the breakfast tray down and rushed to her mother’s side. “What’s wrong, Mom?” She looked toward the television to see if she was watching something sad, but the TV wasn’t on.

  “I miss my mom. I haven’t seen her in so long.” Vivian’s hand touched her heart. “It hurts.”

  Alexis could only imagine how much a lifetime of regrets could hurt. She wrapped her arms around her mother. “I wish things had been different for you, Mom.”

  When Alexis was a kid, her mom had got into a big blow up with her family. She’d cursed them all, and she and Alexis moved to another town. A few years later, Alexis’s grandmother had died. Alexis wasn’t sure if her mom remembered that and didn’t know if she should remind her. The aftermath of her grandmother’s death had been bad.

  Vivian had gone on a rampage, destroying everything in sight. The trailer they lived in was beyond repair by the time the landlord got wind of what she was doing. They were kicked out of that trailer park. Alexis was sure the neighbors were all happy to see them go.

  Alexis understood a little bit of the regret her mother was feeling. Ever since that day she hit John, or Jon-Jon as his family called him, Alexis had been filled with regret. She wished there was some way she could make amends, but how do you make amends for paralyzing someone? She had paid for Jon-Jon’s surgery. That had at least taken some of the guilt off her shoulders.

  “After all these years, I don’t know if they will want to see me. My mother was very angry when I left. She never wanted me to get into the acting business. She never believed I was Miss Kitty.” A look of shame crossed her face. “I don’t want them to know that I didn’t make it. I don’t want them to know they were right about me.”

  Her mother was actually admitting that she wasn’t an actress? Alexis wished she could stay in this moment. Just sit here with a mother who was in her right mind and let the rest of the world do what they may, but that wasn’t the way life worked.

  “Hey, remember that purple van I used to have?” Vivian asked with glee in her eyes.

  Alexis had no idea if Vivian would become manic if she reminded her that Grandma Joyce was dead, so she was thankful to move on to another subject. Even if it was about that awful purple van. “I remember you made me sing ‘Purple Rain’ every time we drove around in it.”

  Vivian giggled. “You hated that van. Just never understood the beauty of having a purple van while others drove around in boring old white and gray vans.”

  “That’s why you liked the van so much, because it was different?”

  Vivian adjusted herself in the bed. She turned toward her daughter. “Look at me, Alexis. Haven’t I always been a different kind of girl?”

  Her mother had definitely been different—so different that Alexis had been embarrassed, mortified, and stupefied all at the same time. She spent so many years trying to figure out why her mother was different from other mothers, but she’d never discovered any reason for Vivian’s condition.

  After talking with her mother, Alexis went downstairs to vacuum the living room and fill the dishwasher. She was in the kitchen rinsing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher when Michael called. She hit the speaker and then sat the phone on the counter.

  “Are you busy?” he asked.

  “Just doing a little cleaning. How is your day going?” She hoped he was in a better mood today.

  “My parents called. They wanted to spend the weekend at the house with the kids, but with your mother at the house, I’m a little worried how that might look.”

  He just wouldn’t stop. She turned off the water and sat the dish she had rinsed on the counter as she scratched her eyebrow. She wasn’t going to play his game. “I don’t see why your parents can’t spend the weekend here. We always give them the bedroom in the basement so they can have their privacy anyway.”

  “And Peter was thinking that we should do more dinner parties. And if you think Vivian won’t become a problem at a dinner party, then I’ve got news for you.”

  She was so aggravated with her husband she could scream. He would be happy if they hid her mother away again. So happy if everything went back to the way he wanted it to be. But she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t turn her back on her mother, not now and not ever again.

  “I know she’s your mother, Alexis, but we’re so close to having everything we ever wanted. Our home is a showpiece. We bought the house so we could entertain clients, and I don’t think—”

  Interrupting him, she said, “I thought we bought this house for our family. I don’t want to fight with you, Michael. I know how much you have done for us, but our family also includes my mother.”

  “You have responsibilities to me, Alexis. I’m your husband, and I’m not going to let you ignore that fact.”

  She took a deep breath to the point where it felt like she was about to start hyperventilating. This was too much for her. “I’ll see you when you get home.” Alexis hung up the phone. She put her elbows on the sink base as her shoulders slumped. Michael was trying to make her choose between him and her mother. It wasn’t fair because she wanted them both, but Michael had the power. He had given her this wonderful life and made everything she’d ever wanted possible. The things she had wanted so badly when she first met Michael were all tied up in escaping the drama that surrounded her mother.

  After volunteering with social services and helping people who were like her mother, Alexis no longer wanted to escape. She wanted to lean in. She wanted to hold on to her mother and give her the ability to reconnect with her family, just as she had helped so many others do. She couldn’t let Michael win this time. She just couldn’t.

  “He doesn’t want me here, does he?”

  Alexis jumped. She turned to see her mother standing behind her. “How long have you been standing there?”

  Vivian held up the glass. “I came down to get a drink of water. I can do things for myself, you know.”

  Alexis took the glass and pushed the button for the icemaker. After several cubes fell into her mother’s glass, she dispensed water from the fridge and let it fill up halfway.

  “I could have gotten it from the sink,” Vivian told her.

  “The water from the fridge is filtered. Now, will you please lay down and rest as the doctor told you?”

  “Are you going to let him throw me out?”